"You juuuust wait..."

BookitBoo

My only issue is when ANYONE says 'I will NEVER do -that-'

Oh, yeah? I bet given the right incentive you probably would do that.

And it was annoying that everyone told me I'd give in and get an epidural, and I didn't have to 'prove' anything but wanting a non-medicated birth. Eye rolls for miles

MusicFanatic

Smelh324 said:

"your body will be ruined!" 

I have gotten this, also.  I'm a ballet dancer, so hear it a lot. "do you expect to ever dance again? your body will never be the same or LOOK the same" .. um, thanks. I realize my body will evolve. I'm a woman. There are plenty of dancers who are mothers.

Sorry, I can't see this as bonding. I kinda see as it as people who don't think before they speak. And maybe not the "tired" comments, those are more harmless.  But it's still scare tactics to me. And simply not needed.  I try REALLY hard not to do this to people.

I'm glad I'm not the only annoyed one.  You all JUST wait........

Edvent

BookitBoo said:

My only issue is when ANYONE says 'I will NEVER do -that-'

Oh, yeah? I bet given the right incentive you probably would do that.

And it was annoying that everyone told me I'd give in and get an epidural, and I didn't have to 'prove' anything but wanting a non-medicated birth. Eye rolls for miles

I totally agree with the annoyance at "I'll never". I laughed at myself in the first months after DD at all the things I'd already done that I had said I'd "never" do! My younger sister gave me the hardest time when I got DD a backpack/leash for a big trip we were taking. We never even needed it in public but my sis saw her wearing it around the house (because DD lived it) and went onto this tirade of "I'll NEVER put my child on a leash". I just laughed and said "you might if you have a runner like your niece..."

MusicFanatic

Edvent said:

My only issue is when ANYONE says 'I will NEVER do -that-' Oh, yeah? I bet given the right incentive you probably would do that. And it was annoying that everyone told me I'd give in and get an epidural, and I didn't have to 'prove' anything but wanting a non-medicated birth. Eye rolls for miles

I totally agree with the annoyance at "I'll never". I laughed at myself in the first months after DD at all the things I'd already done that I had said I'd "never" do! My younger sister gave me the hardest time when I got DD a backpack/leash for a big trip we were taking. We never even needed it in public but my sis saw her wearing it around the house (because DD lived it) and went onto this tirade of "I'll NEVER put my child on a leash". I just laughed and said "you might if you have a runner like your niece..."

I've promised myself never to do it.

I've only said it for ONE THING, and I promise you I won't do it.  But I've had friends do this a lot.. "I won't let them watch tv more than 30 minutes a day" (hahah) or "I won't give fast food until they're 3" .. and 98% of the time they do these things. So I've learned to never say those words. I have NO idea what I will be doing or won't be doing. All kids are different and I have no idea what mine will be like. 

Reiden

I got this from my grandmother when I talk about pain; she's always going on about how I have "such a low pain tolerance! You'll be begging for an epidural!"

But when I had to get a gigantic cyst (along with my entire right ovary) removed around 12-13 weeks, she was going on and on about how my pain tolerance was just so low, it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. The cyst was as big as a canteloupe! And when it rolled I thought I was going to die it hurt so bad. The weeks following post-op and recovering/weaning myself off the pain meds I guess opened her eyes to how tough I am; I didn't whine or bitch about the pain even once.

My pain tolerance isn't low, but it isn't high either. I know when I hurt, I know when to vocalize/make it be known. Do /not/ downplay what I say as 'it can't be that bad', or something silimar. How undeniably rude

peggels24

Ugh - I don't know why people do this. I get it a lot too. Most of the time I can let it roll off of my back when it comes to me ("oh i know you feel big now but just wait" or "there's no way that you will be ready to go back to work then") but it greatly bothers me when they say it in such a way that it disparages my husband. "Oh he's not going to get up with the baby" "Oh he's not going to do this or that" 

 Who the hell are they to tell me what my H is capable of - as much as he annoys the hell out of me sometimes, he's pretty awesome and we are in this together. 

 I do appreciate the few people who have pulled me aside and told me how easy their labor was. I like those stories

Edited for spacing

LadyXaverian

"Just wait" makes my skin crawl. I've posted an uplifting blog entry about it before. I'm going to put it in its own uplifting thread as a reminder to us all.

Maebb

@MusicFanatic‌, what's the one thing you said "I'll never" about? I'm just curious.

MusicFanatic

Maebb said:

@MusicFanatic‌, what's the one thing you said "I'll never" about? I'm just curious.

@Maebb- spank

Maebb

MusicFanatic said:

Maebb said:

@MusicFanatic‌, what's the one thing you said "I'll never" about? I'm just curious.

@Maebb- spank

_____

I thought that might be it!

Edvent

MusicFanatic said:

Maebb said:

@MusicFanatic‌, what's the one thing you said "I'll never" about? I'm just curious.

@Maebb- spank

This is my only "I'll never" too, not one I worry I'll break! I had a few others that went out the window ages ago

Maebb

@saiven, that could get controversial but also could be interesting. I'm sure I'll be laughing and thinking "you just wait" about a lot of the replies.

"I'll never put my child on a leash." "I'll never let DS eat high fructose corn syrup." Ha ha, ok.

ukdmwifeyxo

Because their lives are boring/miserable and they can see you're at a joyous time of life and they want to drag you to their level.

Eyefrog

I've done the just wait with my neighbour in jest as my son and her daughter share the same birthday. They are many years apart but are very uncanny in their personalities, so when she(neighbour) is saying something in regards to her daughter I have done the you just wait until she is 13...its that and then some. Guess I shouldn't say anything

Reiden

saiven said:

@Reiden‌ that surgery sounds incredibly painful. I had brutal ovarian cysts during my first trimester so I can't imagine how much pain you were in if they didn't go away. Also, no one knows your pain but you. I'll repeat previous post and advise you to tell them to back the fuck off.

You know what's crazy? I never had cysts before, nor did I feel them, until that night. Felt like appendicitis. I woke up with incredible cramps/muscle sensitivity, not unlike round ligament pain, only way worse. The muscles felt like the were burning in me, on my right side. Pain turned out to be from whenever the cyst would pitch/roll, which would therefore twist my ovary around. 
Thankfully surgery was simple; 15 minute op. Went in, clamped it, cut the ovary out, stapled me up, bam. Done. 

Only downside to it was when I went to get my staples out, the lady was all "Ohh, was this your first c-section?" lol Noo, but this was my first surgery I needed staples for!

I think that the last time she had any experience with my pain tolerance was when I was wee little, and the docs said that when we're younger, our nerves are much more sensitive to pain than they normally would be. That's why children cry a lot, because the pain is either new or much more intense for them When we get older, we aren't as sensitive/receptive to that pain, I guess. 

But yeah, I think my grandma and I are on the same page, now. I want to do my best /not/ to get an epidural, but I'll know if I need one or not, when the time comes. I just want to attempt going through this as low med as possible, since I know everyone's different, especially when it comes to L&D

jmcmoe

Mamasaurus15 said:

@musicfanatic That's so frustrating. I've only gotten the "just you wait" a couple of times.

@jmcmoe What on earth is going on in your signature!?!?!?

I'm not sure but I completely lost it laughing when I came across it so I just had to post it lmao!

misslizzy82

MusicFanatic said:

emilyp2013 said:

Yes. This. I ignore it because I was told every step of the way it would be terrible. I haven't found anything unmanageable yet. More difficult or complicated? Sure. But I am in no way traumatized. I especially am trying to ignore horrific labor stories. I don't want to go into it geared up for an experience any more terrible than it needs to be.

I get it with labor/birth a lot.  If I tell someone I may try drug free.. "Oh you just wait!!! You'll be begging for those drugs" ... and that may be true, but seriously. Shut up. Can't I try? Not everyone has the same experience. 

----quote fail-----

I get a lot of moms ask my why (in a really condescending way) why I tell them in going to try to be drug free. I get that you didn't, and that's your choice. This is mine. I don't have anything to "prove" and I don't think I'm better than you... So don't act like you're better than me because you choose to go with drugs from the door!

pleirey

@MusicFanatic - Heck yeah ballet dancer!  That's how I whipped my post-baby body back into shape five years ago.  Broke out the ol' shoes, as in they were dusty as antiques, and used a friend of mine's studio after hours and helped her choregraph stuff for her competition team.  And by help, I mean I was her guinnea pig for her to see if it looked right or awkward.  Ballet is probably the absolute best way to "get your body back."  Plus it's fun!  So all those "never get your body back," negativity mongers can STFU.  But that's all just my opinion.  :-) 

luckylady18

misslizzy82 said:

emilyp2013 said:

Yes. This. I ignore it because I was told every step of the way it would be terrible. I haven't found anything unmanageable yet. More difficult or complicated? Sure. But I am in no way traumatized. I especially am trying to ignore horrific labor stories. I don't want to go into it geared up for an experience any more terrible than it needs to be.

I get it with labor/birth a lot.  If I tell someone I may try drug free.. "Oh you just wait!!! You'll be begging for those drugs" ... and that may be true, but seriously. Shut up. Can't I try? Not everyone has the same experience. 

----quote fail----- I get a lot of moms ask my why (in a really condescending way) why I tell them in going to try to be drug free. I get that you didn't, and that's your choice. This is mine. I don't have anything to "prove" and I don't think I'm better than you... So don't act like you're better than me because you choose to go with drugs from the door!

Yesterday I saw a friend who was in from out of town. She doesn't have kids yet...and she was all "so are you going to get an epidural?" It totally annoyed me that she cares at all what my birth plan is. She has no personal experience so who is she to judge? (and even if she had given birth before, she still has no right to judge!) She was acting like she knows I'll have to have one. Um, our other mutual friend just had a totally natural child birth in a birthing center. How come she can do it and I cant? 

MusicFanatic

pleirey said:

@MusicFanatic - Heck yeah ballet dancer!  That's how I whipped my post-baby body back into shape five years ago.  Broke out the ol' shoes, as in they were dusty as antiques, and used a friend of mine's studio after hours and helped her choregraph stuff for her competition team.  And by help, I mean I was her guinnea pig for her to see if it looked right or awkward.  Ballet is probably the absolute best way to "get your body back."  Plus it's fun!  So all those "never get your body back," negativity mongers can STFU.  But that's all just my opinion.  :-) 

Ohhh @pleirey - a fellow ballet dancer! My pointe shoes are getting dusty ( I'm already excited to get back into it after the baby is here and I'm cleared to do so.

jneden

That's annoying and I would never tell a person that but unfortunately its totally true. With my first I thought I was tired but I had no idea what tired really was until I had a newborn. The first month is especially exhausting!! But its so worth it and amazing!!

TiffanyJill

I was just talking to my husband about this!! My sil loves to ask questions about the baby then has a nagative remark to whatver it is I say. I actually told her the other day a little positivity would be a nice change. She surprisingly appologized and said she has just been stressed. Was nice of her to appologize

Samuelismomma

I was only 34 weeks when had son, but between bed rest, potassium to stop contractions 3 times and him kicking my liver out! Having a newborn gave me rest! Lol

MKateG

Yes I hate this, I hate when someone asks how YOU feel you respond honestly and then they say "oh I know, its bad, I went through it". Umm really? You experienced MY pregnancy? Needless to say none of the ppl that responded this way had ever carried twins or had to quit working at 23 weeks therefore, did not know how I feel. Discounting how I feel doesn't make me feel better, thank you! And I love the comment about "squishy babies" someone made! Ill gladly stay up all day and night with my squshy babies once this pregnancy is over :-)

letsgox

CuppyCakes721 said:

Now that I think about it, it really doesn't end after the baby is born. "Wait till they are walking," "wait till they start talking," "wait till you have two," "wait till......." It just never ends

I was going to say this exact thing. I'm not sure if people wear it as a badge of parenting, but DAYUM please stop making it out to the the worst job of your whole life. Seriously, if I heard my mom talking about me/my siblings the way some people (strangers) talk about what burdens their kids are, I'd be hurt. (That's not to say I do

Certainly there are more challenging times than others, but don't sit there and act like I must not have seen enough yet to have very few complaints to COMPLETE STRANGERS about my kid and pregnancy.

Also, as someone else has pointed out in a MMBF or another thread way back when, you can't really deposit sleep into some mythical fund and withdraw it when your baby is up every 2 hours. So when people say to sleep now because I won't be when this (second) child comes I look at them blankly and ask how sleeping more today will help me in 3 months.