STM's - what's your "sibling plan" during delivery?

efujan

Now that many of us are hitting 3rd Tri, I'm trying to figure out the best plan for DS (will be 22 months) when I go into labor.  I'd love to know what other STM's are planning regarding who will watch their older LO's when you go into labor/head to the hospital.

My parents are ~45 min away from the hospital, and FIL & MIL are 2.5 hrs.  We really don't have immediate family or other people we feel that comfortable calling in the middle of the night to watch DS that are any closer than that.  So unless DS is already at daycare when I go into labor (fingers crossed!!!), the plan for us is to have my mom "on-call" to meet us at the hospital & then take DS back to our place until baby makes his appearance. 

I'm hoping we have enough time before we even have to head to the hospital that my mom could make it to our place so we don't even have to worry about carting DS all over our city, but last time went so quickly, I'm a little worried I won't have much time with the 2nd kiddo - so I'm kind of hoping some of you have a better plan in place that I can maybe copy.  :-)

BookitBoo

Provided that I don't go into labor early, My mom is coming up a few days before we are scheduled for the RCS. She will watch DS while we are at the hospital.

If we do go into labor early my neighbor has already told me I could call her and she would come over and watch DS or we could drop him off at her house while we go to the hospital.

nfm12832

We are very lucky my mil lives next door but works two jobs my mom lives a mile away so that where we will be dropping off our daughter so she can see her little sister ASAP after she is born I think I'm most excited for our daughter to meet her little sister!

Mrs_Bennett

My parents are going to watch the boys, and they only live about ten minutes away. If they're further away or can't come immediately for any reason, we have several friends nearby who could come over for a bit.

Edvent

My MIL lives with us, so if things happen on time it will be easy peasy. My parents are also planning to be in town for the RCS date. 

However MIL is going out of the country for Christmas and gets back when I'll be 37 weeks 3 days. If for some reason baby comes (or needs to come) before then I'm not sure what we'll do. I have a close work friend who will come to our house and stay with DD while we're at the hospital, but all of my friends work so I'm not sure how we'll handle it if something needs to happen during a work day. Fingers crossed LO behaves himself and comes on his scheduled RCS date!

Edvent

ExcitedMama2 said:

I'm a RCS, so assuming all goes as planned, my mom and sister will be out here.  We'll all go to the hospital day of, my mom will go in with me and sister will stay with my son.  They'll follow baby to the nursery, and then spend the day with me in the room after.  My son will go to school the next day though (and following days), which is literally 1/10th of a mile from the hospital.  It just worked out that he only has half days at school that week, too, so he'll come back up and hang out with me after school.  

If I go into labor early, I'll first freak the f out, and then I guess just have him at the hospital with me...I have some friends that would come up to stay with him while I'm having the actual csection and in recovery, and then he'd just hang with me until my mom and sister could get there.

Yep, this pretty much sums up my situation as well

Beauxbaton

My parents live with us half the time. My mom is here most of the time. And in January she wont be going anywhere for the whole month. So they are going to watch DS1 for the whole time. If for some reason I go into labor earlier than January (due 1/27) then I have a friend on stand by.

cassied7

My mom will be watching DS. If its the middle of the night, she will come to my house. If its any other time of day she will meet us at the hospital.

britb618

I'm RCS as well so plan is for my mom to come up that week and stay with my daughter at my house. Not sure if her husband will come up with her or if he will come up after baby is born. He was there for my first so I'd imagine he'd do the same but just not sure. For people that RCS or have had more than two babies before in general-when did you have your first child come to meet the second? Is there like an appropriate time period? I feel like I am going to miss my daughter so much I want her to come immediately

Lanatir

Well, MY plan is drop DD off at her cousin's house (BiL and SiL).  They're about half an hour from the hospital.  My husband has this crazy idea that DD won't be spending any time anywhere but with us.  Yeah.  Have fun with that, husband...  I'm totally being "that girl" and sending him news stories about hospitals not allowing even siblings under 12 into the maternity wards because of enterovirus right now...

moonfaerie

I'm having a RCS, so most likely baby will be born at a scheduled time. If things go according to my plan, we will have two kids spend the night at MIL's the night before my c/s, and one kid spend the night at my sister's, if she is off the day of my c/s. If my sister has to work, then the third kid will spend night either at my mom's or MIL's.

If something happens before the planned day, hopefully it will be while my mom is available to come hang out with the kids at my house. She lives the closest and has the most flexibility with her job. MIL doesn't work but lives 45 minutes away, takes care of her mom who lives with her, and isn't the greatest health herself, so she's not always readily available. My two sisters live within 15 minutes but both have stricter work schedules. My sister who is best capable of handling three kids has the hardest time getting away from work and is a single mom, so she's my last resort in a pinch even though she's my top choice.

kbl13

We have a terrible plan. My MIL will be flying here (from the other side of the country) at some point before my due date...

Luckily, I've got friends who have offered to help out in case baby girl comes super early or something.

stayhealthy

I better figure this out too... My mom lives 5 miles away so I guess if it's in the middle of the night (again) I'll have her come over as to not disturb my precious babies sleep. She can always take them to daycare if it's a weekday and then she won't have to take time off. Last time I dropped DD off at my brother's for the weekend and DH and I went out to a nice dinner and bam, I was in labor during dinner. I decided I'd better finish my plate first though . One friend has offered which I appreciate so much but none of my family has said anything. I hate to ask them. So when other people are pregnant I always offer to watch their other kid(s) at delivery so they have a sense of relief, even though I figure they won't take me up on it.

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luvinlifeMN

Very good question!  DD was born very quickly, which makes me terrified for the speed of #2 and getting DD situated with someone.  That being said, it is on my OBs mind as well and she mentioned if the weeks leading up to my due date are similar to my last pregnancy (i.e. dilated to a 5 the last three weeks), then they will likely recommend they break my water to start labor.  My water had a high tear last time but didn't lead to any contractions which is what sent me in to the hospital and when they fully ruptured my water bag, I went from 6 cm to 10 in 50 minutes.  They do not want that to happen without supervision. 

So, I'm hopeful to have some more control over this situation.  My mom will come if that happens.  If I go in to labor on my own, my mom and sister work about 20 minutes away and if it is non-working hours, I have no idea who I can get to come over quickly.  I'm hopeful someone from church would come watch DD.

efujan

Lanatir said:

Well, MY plan is drop DD off at her cousin's house (BiL and SiL).  They're about half an hour from the hospital.  My husband has this crazy idea that DD won't be spending any time anywhere but with us.  Yeah.  Have fun with that, husband...  I'm totally being "that girl" and sending him news stories about hospitals not allowing even siblings under 12 into the maternity wards because of enterovirus right now...

Ooh - excellent point!  When I had DS, no kids under 12 (other than immediate siblings) were allowed in to the NICU, and then on top of that, if you didn't have your flu shot - no visiting allowed! 

Plus - does your husband want your daughter in the delivery room with you?  I definitely don't want that!!!  (But I do want/need DH there for me!)  And I do know that there's a possibility I'll be in the delivery room by myself for a while until my mom can make it to the hospital to get DS, but dang if I don't want to miss the window for my epidural! 

My brain has been laser-focused in on this whole topic since I checked Facebook this morning.  A good friend just had their third baby last night at 11 pm.  They hopped in the car right away & got to the hospital just in time for the doctors to deliver the baby - she didn't get there in time to get her epidural.  YIKES!!  So I'm crazy paranoid about how everything could go down for my delivery now. 

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Lanatir

efujan said:

Lanatir said:

Well, MY plan is drop DD off at her cousin's house (BiL and SiL).  They're about half an hour from the hospital.  My husband has this crazy idea that DD won't be spending any time anywhere but with us.  Yeah.  Have fun with that, husband...  I'm totally being "that girl" and sending him news stories about hospitals not allowing even siblings under 12 into the maternity wards because of enterovirus right now...

Ooh - excellent point!  When I had DS, no kids under 12 (other than immediate siblings) were allowed in to the NICU, and then on top of that, if you didn't have your flu shot - no visiting allowed! 

Plus - does your husband want your daughter in the delivery room with you?  I definitely don't want that!!!  (But I do want/need DH there for me!)  And I do know that there's a possibility I'll be in the delivery room by myself for a while until my mom can make it to the hospital to get DS, but dang if I don't want to miss the window for my epidural! 

My brain has been laser-focused in on this whole topic since I checked Facebook this morning.  A good friend just had their third baby last night at 11 pm.  They hopped in the car right away & got to the hospital just in time for the doctors to deliver the baby - she didn't get there in time to get her epidural.  YIKES!!  So I'm crazy paranoid about how everything could go down for my delivery now. 

Hahaa yeah I don't want her in there.  I think he's blocked out how bad it was.  I kept a journal the whole time I was in labor, I don't think I'm missing anything.  Complete down to the nurse on duty blowing through all the veins in my hand for my heplock and putting it in my wrist and DH almost passing out from just that...

DH seems to be pretty paranoid about letting people watch DD.  You can tell he doesn't stay home with a kid all day... haha.  It is GREAT for some kids and their relationships with their parents, but once DD was about 2 or so, I just can't deal with this "omg someone might have to watch her" fear anymore.  The first few months, I sort of got it, but definitely now I'm like "uhhhhh c'mon..."

britb618

O and to the point @mrsdigger10 made, are you having someone stay at the hospital with you overnight during your stay? Since its an RCS I want my husband to stay with me. Also we made an agreement that if we are doing the circumcision he is on diaper duty for 2 weeks because I really am going to break down if it looks as painful as some people have described...and I will kill my husband then lol no but really, soooo that makes me want him to stay even more. But he doesn't sleep well in those stupid chairs and is super cranky because of them, so not sure if its worth it for me to just deal with being in hospital by myself...

Lanatir

Ugh.  That's another thing.  DH claims he'll take DD home if she stays somewhere so she won't have to sleep somewhere strange.

Nopenopenope.  I want the same agreement as the first time around.  DH had diaper duty the whole hospital stay.  One of his friends actually told him while I was pregnant the first time around that diapers in the hospital should be the man's job.  haha.  I'll take that!  Also, then I didn't have to find out about the "tar poop."  Apparently the first few baby diapers, baby wipes are not much help for the poop is so weird.  hahahahaha.

id012

I have no idea. I tried talked to DH about this last night but he is very much a fly by the seat of his pants kinda person and just says.. we will figure it out when the time comes. (?!) Im a planner.

I kind of wish I was due a couple weeks earlier. Everyone in my family will be off of work for 2 weeks for the holidays. Im not due until Jan 13, but DS came 3 weeks early so we will see.

Im hoping I go into labor on a Tuesday because my Sister doesnt work on tuesdays lol. Other then that I can hope my dad wont be at work.

 If It happeneds in the middle of the night or non working hours I will call family or a friend. Its just those working hours that have me worried.

llambrose

My in-laws live in town (in between us and the hospital actually) so depending on how things go down we will take her to them. My parents live an hour away so when they get here, they may end up taking her back to our house to stay (this is what she says she wants). My mom will probably want to be at the hospital though so we will just see how things work out, either way she will be covered.

AlfiesMOM

My parents live 15 minutes away so really in any situation they will handle E. We are lucky because they already pick her up from daycare almost everyday so it wouldn't be weird or anything. Even if I go into labor in the middle of the night they will just hop on over. 

moonfaerie

efujan said:

Lanatir said:

Well, MY plan is drop DD off at her cousin's house (BiL and SiL).  They're about half an hour from the hospital.  My husband has this crazy idea that DD won't be spending any time anywhere but with us.  Yeah.  Have fun with that, husband...  I'm totally being "that girl" and sending him news stories about hospitals not allowing even siblings under 12 into the maternity wards because of enterovirus right now...

Ooh - excellent point!  When I had DS, no kids under 12 (other than immediate siblings) were allowed in to the NICU, and then on top of that, if you didn't have your flu shot - no visiting allowed! 

Dude. My youngest is just a bit younger than your daughter, @Lanatir, and I don't even know if I want her visiting the hospital. I mean, I want her to because I'll miss her, but she is into every.freaking.thing and I'm sure it will spell disaster unless there in a dedicated adult there to sit on top of her. lol

My oldest was born the year that H1N1 was hard-hitting, and my hospital stopped allowing any siblings under 12 to visit for a couple of months during the flu season. (Didn't affect us as we had no other kids at home then, and I had her right before the under-12 ban, but I remember it being a big deal for other moms I knew delivering that winter.)

Mom2anAngel2

We haven't thought it through all the way. DS will be staying with my parents, but they both work and are 1.5 hours away. I guess we will have to have some back-ups ready.

Eyefrog

im a little spoiled in that my folks will be coming down to take care of the kids while I am at the hosp, they live across country and with my scheduled induction(don't foresee any surprises) so we can narrow down a time frame for maximum enjoyment, minimal grandparent overload. If by chance baby decided to make their arrival before schedule our oldest is capable of handling everyone and my neighbour has offered to take the 2 smallest if necessary. Hubs would return home soon after birth until I needed to be picked up, if that kind of surprise occurred.

Lanatir

@moonfaerie--  I don't foresee DD being too much of a problem...  I suppose she could go completely out of character, though.  She's pretty good in hospitals and not touching medical equipment, as we visit a nursing home regularly and my mom is constantly in and out of the hospital with all of her cancer stuff.  The worst problem I've had with her is if she gets into the bathroom, she wants to wash her hands, which is usually more "spill water everywhere and rinse all the soap down the drain without lathering hands."  haha.

But throwing a newborn into the mix will definitely be a variable we haven't encountered before in that setting.

Edvent

@britb618 Regardless of who ends up staying with DD (in case MIL is out of town), DH will be absolutely staying with me in the hospital. Those first nights are rough after a CS (and I imagine after a vaginal birth too) and he definitely did all of the hospital diapers last time. I wasn't even allowed up until 24 hours after she was born (because I was on mag) so I was pretty out of commission other than him bringing her to me to hold and feed. Also I think it's a special time that just the 2 of us will have with the new baby. I'm really hoping to not spend more than 2 nights though, if it was a longer stay I would consider doing the 3rd or 4th night alone. 

ECATX

My in-laws and parents should both be in town for the winter (one set of parents has a second home here and the other will be in an rv for the winter here), so one of them will come over to the house to watch DD if it's in the middle of the night. If I go into labor and need to head to the hospital during the day, she'll be in daycare, and one of them can pick her up. DH is going to go home at night to put her to bed, unless I'm actually IN labor around her bedtime - then the grandparents and DD will just have to deal with it. I think he's just going to spend the night at home and come back to the hospital after dropping her off at daycare in the a.m. She'll only be 18 months old, so we don't want to disrupt her routine too much. If it's not a weekday, the grandparents will be watching her during the day. I think I'll be ok on my own in the hospital overnight - it's not ideal, but I think it's the best option we've got. I'm also tempted to talk to my dr and the pediatrician about staying one night instead of two.

ECATX

I almost forgot - I was in labor for 13 hours last time, so even if this one is faster, I feel like we have enough time to get DD situated somewhere.

nah82

My mom and dad live right next door to us, so if I go into labor when they are not at work, we will just drop the boys off with them on the way to the hospital and my mom will call off work to be with them.  They are more than comfortable staying the night at their house if need be.  If they are at work when I go into labor, I have an aunt who lives just down the road that is retired that can watch them until mom or dad get home to take them off her hands.  If the baby is born during the daytime, husband will go home that night so they can all sleep in their own beds.  I was fine overnight with baby myself last time when he did this.  The only time I called a nurse to help was around midnight when I had to pee really really bad and he was crying, she came and held him for me.   It was actually kind of nice having the one on one time with the new little guy all by myself without daddy and big brother.

Samiantha101

I don't have a plan. My mom lives 9 hours away. She was going to take time off of work, and I was going to buy her a plane ticket. Her work won't allow her the requested time off now. She can still come about a week before my due date up until two days after my due date. My dd was four days late. There is a good chance this one could be late too. Plus, my mom wants to drive now. She lives in MN and us in NE. She is the worst winter driver ever. I am not counting on her watching dd, but that's all I've got so far.

Worse comes to worse, I will have to labor by myself. Hopefully one of my husband's colleagues will watch dd while the baby is being born. Children are not allowed in L&D where I am delivering at.

AggieMom0809

Enter the great idea of induction. Assuming I don't go into labor earlier, I plan on being induced so I will be able to have someone watch my kids while I'm at the hospital. Last time they didn't allow my oldest in because it was flu season so I'm assuming it will be the same this time around. I at least know more local people that would be willing to watch my kids just in case, but I'm don't want to have to call a friend who has kids in the middle of the night to try and drop mine off.

I did recently talk to someone who found a 24h drop in daycare for their little one when they went into labor. They had to preregister and give who was able to pick the child up, but the place didn't require a notice before dropping her off. We don't have a 24 between us and the hospital, but it would be something to look into if your family may not be able to make it in time.

aerotigergirl

We have a terrible plan, also. 

We live thousands of miles from everyone in our family. And we have a few local friends, but with it being so close to the holidays (EDD 1/1/15), most of them will be out of town visiting their own relatives. We've been trying to put together a plan for who is available and on which days, so that we have all dates in the range from 12/15-1/15 covered, but it has been very difficult because so many people don't yet know their (firm) travel plans for the holidays. 

My mom is coming out to stay with us from 12/23 on (we bought her a one-way ticket), so hopefully this LO comes sometime while she is here with us. That would really be our best case scenario, so that DS can stay in his own home while we're away. 

I think this time it'll be a little different, too, since we have DS at home. When DS was born, H stayed with me in the hospital the entire time. (Well, aside from when he went to take care of our dog, etc.) This time around, I figure he'll be there the day she's born, and maybe one night... and then he'll probably need to go back home to be with DS. DS likes my mom, but since she lives so far away, I'm not sure he'll feel 100% comfortable with her with us being gone for 3-4 days (in the case of a RCS).

Like everything related to this pregnancy, it's all very up in the air for us at the moment. I keep trying to figure it out, but it's tough when I have no other choice but to rely on our friends.

mandikins27

this is the one labour where I feel confident and prepared!! with my first obviously no sitter required. so my fiancée  came in with me (3 day labour 5 day stay at hospital). for our second we do not do babysitters and I had no family in town so I made him stay home with our first (13 hour labour, day and a half stay at the hospital).  same with our 3rd he stayed with the girls I went solo. (30 min labour almost didn't make it to the hospital and bout 20 hour stay at the hospital) This time! my mother has moved in town and will be taking the girls so I have no worries there but I am worried about making it to the hospital in time

storm08

My MIL lives 20 minutes away, but 5 minutes from the hospital. The plan is if we need someone to watch DS at night she'll come here and then we'll leave for the hospital. If it's during the day on a weekend, I guess we'll either drop him off or have her come here. If we need someone quicker, our neighbors offered to be on call so we do have a close backup if we can't get a hold of MIL. My h is planning on staying with me at the hospital, so my parents (who live an hour away) will have DS for the time we're in the hospital. DS has spent the night at their house and I think it will be easier for him to be at their house than to come home from daycare and wonder why we're not home.

Jellybean707

My ILs live about an hour away so DS will stay with them. They will come to the hospital to visit when baby is born but then he will stay with them overnight until we come home. He loves staying at their house so it should be just like a sleepover.

csjsmom

My labors have both been 24+ hours so I'll probably have lots of time. Either my boys will go to their dads (my ex) or my parents over night if necessary. They're both in school during the day so depending on timing they'd be there.
Last time my oldest stayed at my parents and came to the hospital when I was being discharged so we all went home together. I didn't really want him to come visit and then have to leave. But they're older this time. It will all depend on timing. My 2 were both born right before midnight so they'd be asleep. I guess I'd get them to come the next day.

moonfaerie

Do your baby's nurses not help with diaper changes?? I've had c/s each time, and DH has never stayed at the hospital with me. Nurses always helped with diaper changes. I barely changed any diapers in the hospital, unless I wanted to.

For me, my DH can only take one week off and I prefer to have him do it when I am home from the hospital. I need his help at home more, since I have nurses to take care of me and baby at the hospital. Also, I know he'd sleep crappy with the constant interruptions all night long, so it's better that he sleep at home and be well rested for work. And it's easier than finding people to take care of the dogs AND kids. (Actually, with #3, DH couldn't take any time off except the day she was born, so between work and kids he could barely visit us in the hospital.)

csjsmom

I had to do all my own baby care both times. First was a c-section under general anesthetic. The nurse did do the first bath. That was it

GromMom

Our plan is to drop ds off with friends while the actually l&d is happening and dh will take him home to sleep and come visit with him afterwards. If for some reason I have to go to l&d during the middle of the night I'm guessing we'll have to either wake those friends up or something. With ds I had a 15+ hour labor so I'm hoping that I'll have some notice and can wait until morning like I did with ds...I went into labor around 3 am but didn't go to the hospital until 9. If that is the case hopefully we won't have to wake our friends, the only issue then I guess would be if I was in l&d and it got late maybe ds would have to sleep at their house but I'm hoping that doesn't happen since I don't want to put them out when they've generously offered to watch ds. They have a daughter his age so at least he will have a play mate.