Wednesday Randoms

mandikins27

i have an 7.5 ft pre-lite tree however its not bright enough for me I love! lots of lights on it so I always add extra im sure It could be seen from space. and I add decorations every year and the kids have their decorations they pick out every year however it is always white lights burgundy and gold with white accents.... looks good enough to me

excuse the children cant see much of the tree but I love it cant wait to put it up ....I will wait until after Halloween though :P p.s... no flash needed on the camera haha

bkmama

Also my random is that I cannot seem to focus on anything lately. I keep procrastinating on important stuff, like paying this one nagging bill, calling my health insurance about getting the Medela, getting a new pair of glasses, finishing this article I am supposed to write (!!!). 

Instead, all I want to do is nest-y stuff, like finally finish up this pair of baby booties that I'm knitting/embroidering, or bake gingerbread cookies. Kind of lame, but it's the truth.

mandikins27

@ExcitedMama2‌ tks! I add lights everywhere else too

BookitBoo

Let me see if I can hit everything, or if I'll forget something

@ladyamanuet‌ that has to be really stressful; praying that J finds a job before thanksgiving!

@excitedmama2 your friends sounds bitchy. I'm sorry, you deserve better. She should take sensitivity classes so she can be taught how to interact with proper human beings!

@Lanatir‌ that is terrifying! I would definitely be upset about missed nap time, too. Just glad that you were both ok and crazy driver didn't hit you!

I love real trees but we have a fake. Every year DH says that next year we'll get a real tree. Well, this year is the year! Or Im boycotting big feasts, and he can eat a pot pie or something.

We don't do themes for our decorations but I love colored lights. We have ornaments from DH's grandparents tree that we still use. My big thing is a Jim shore Nativity scene I saved up for.

peggels24

I have a fake pre-lit tree.  We had a real one for years but we normally put the tree up the weekend of Thanksgiving (my annual Holiday Party is the first weekend in December) and by January 1, the house is full of needles.  Plus we had two falling incidents due to the weight of the ornaments on a 9 foot tree.  And the cost was overwhelming

I think once the little one is older, we may go back to a real tree - but the fake pre-lit one was a nice and easy for a few years at least.

As far as decorations - for the first 5 years or so, we asked everyone to bring an ornament to the Holiday Party - so the tree is full of a variety of different ornaments mostly given to us by friends and family (plus a few from our vacations that I picked up here and there)

Lanatir

@ExcitedMama2-- Me too.  

It's slightly a fairly normal occurrence on the road I live off of, unfortunately...  The speed limit was 55 mph, then they dropped it to 45 because of all of the fatal accidents that happened.  However, most people still drive between 55 and 65 on the road, so it's also horrible to be behind someone unfamiliar with the road because the curves and hills can bring you upon someone suddenly only doing 35, which then I sit and am nervous the whole time following this 35 mph-er as I have someone come screaming up on us at 65...

Usually most of the "accidents" on that road are single car, someone is an idiot and tried taking the curve I met the truck on at 65 when the safety sign says you should be doing about 40 and often cars end up down the side of the hill in the trees and close the whole road so emergency workers can rig up stuff to reach the car/people in it.

Hooray boonies....

AlfiesMOM

We get a real tree (I love the smell) and we do anything goes for ornaments. We have a lot of sentimental ones! Then I do white lights, and burlap ribbon around the whole tree!

honeybeee3

I like to decorate my tree with an assortment of ornaments- either with sentimental value or ones that I just love. And white lights 4eva!!

Eeeek! This thread is making me so excited for the holidays!

@ExcitedMama2‌ The story about your rude friend reminded me of a friend of mine, who has no filter whatsoever. She also hates children and pities anyone who has them. She thinks that if you have kids, then you must have a terrible life. It's so weird and she's seriously offended me so many times that we rarely speak now. Boo to stupid friends!

BookitBoo

Oh, and concerning SAHM -- it was a major transition for me. Try to get out a lot. There weren't a lot of things for a SAHM to do in my part of Florida, but In Kansas there are tons of things -- I make sure we go to church, and I attend a bible study. There is also MOPS,which I just started, and book clubs I could look into joining.


I worked for a while because I needed that interaction and it was difficult for me to look for it in a non-traditional (work) setting. Key for surging SAH for me is support of friends and family.

Lanatir

Off of the newest pinned post...

I'm officially still in middle school...  Every time I read the abbreviation "BJ," I giggled.

luckylady18

I have a non-Christmas random.
I'm out sick today but I still checked my email every few hours. I got the most infuriating email from the payroll guy asking me a super simple question, but cc'ing up both mine and his chain of command. The COO was on the email. It's like he wants my answer to imply that I made a mistake. He's trying to get me in trouble. (There is some crazy drama in the past which involves him dating and fathering 2 kids with my co-worker who I don't get along with. Pretty much, it's personal.)

So I'm pregnant, home sick, and I KNOW that this was nothing pressing and he could have just asked me in person tomorrow when I'm back at work. Our offices are across the hall from each other.

He got me so pissed that my headache came back. Ugh. I need to find a new job.

soon2bejp

My random:  I don't feel like going into work tonight for my 3rd shift in a row.  A 12 hour shift typically turns into 14 hours and 3 in a row is a challenge.  Not feeling it...

Sorry for bitching.

Beauxbaton

BookitBoo said:

Oh, and concerning SAHM -- it was a major transition for me. Try to get out a lot. There weren't a lot of things for a SAHM to do in my part of Florida, but In Kansas there are tons of things -- I make sure we go to church, and I attend a bible study. There is also MOPS,which I just started, and book clubs I could look into joining.


I worked for a while because I needed that interaction and it was difficult for me to look for it in a non-traditional (work) setting. Key for surging SAH for me is support of friends and family.

You could also always travel to ICT and eat cake with a fellow bumpie :P

Maebb

@VioletGjoni‌, I still used some Gerber with DS like this one.

I think a lot of people now make their own baby food, do BLW, or buy organic (although Gerber has an organic line too).

We also used J&J some with DS until he got eczema.

I think there are just a lot more choices these days.

Beauxbaton

@VioletGjoni‌ we buy Beechnut baby food. Its 3¢ cheaper than Gerber and when you buy a shit ton it adds up. Also I find that the beechnut is thicker than Gerber. But people still definitely use Gerber.

I also use J&J for DS. We got so much of it for our shower with DS. Like...6 of the giant bottles with the pump, 2 regular size bottles, then 2 regular sized off brand bottles.

honeybeee3

VioletGjoni said:

I'm wondering if people feed their children the Gerber baby food anymore? That's all I are when I was a baby and all My mom used on me was Johnson and Johnson baby wash, now those things seem so obsolete. I wonder why you don't see baby eating Gerber anymore. Anyone know?

I use Aveeno baby soap which I just recently found out IS J and J! It's supposedly better than their regular soap though and doesn't have as many harmful ingredients.

There are people that still buy lots of Gerber! I personally don't buy much. Sometimes I will buy the green organic pouches. Oh and my DS LOVES their Cheetos and yogurt drops, so I buy those regularly.

There are definitely a lot more options today than there were when our moms had us!

aerotigergirl

littlefoote said:

Why am I craving Ramen all the time? Why does it have to taste so good? With my first, ramen was the one thing that made me throw up even simply thinking about it. At least if I take my prenatal vitamins when I eat it, I don't feel so bad! Also, I'm really just anxious for this pregnancy to be done with! But I don't want to wish time away either. But I'm so ready to snuggle and rock a new little baby except for the fact that we really don't have anything set up for this baby yet and we still don't have the extra bedroom done! So maybe I am okay with waiting...

I thought I was the only one! I don't typically have a lot of pregnancy cravings. But this one hit me last Friday and I couldn't shake it. I finally caved and bought a few packets of ramen when I was out grocery shopping on Sunday. For less than a buck! Mmmmmm. Noodles and salt water. I haven't had ramen since I was a poor student.

aerotigergirl

Here's my random: I think Maroon 5 SUCKS. Adam Levine is fine enough to look at, ok. But the second he starts singing, I want to change the channel. And all of their songs sound the same to me. And there are like 7 or 8 of them, so it annoys me that they're called Maroon 5. (There's probably a really good reason for this, and I'm sure some fan will be able to tell me what it is, but I'm easily annoyed today.)

This brought to you by me watching SNL from the DVR a couple of days ago. 

aerotigergirl

We get two real trees every year. We actually buy permits from the Forest Service, and schlep out into the woods Griswold style and cut it down ourselves. I grew up with a fake tree, so the first year H and I were living (in sin) together, when he mentioned cutting our own tree, I thought "ooooh! How festive! This sounds fun and awesome!" And then I learned that it is balls cold and wading through hip deep snow trying to drag an 8 foot tall charlie brown tree wasn't as much fun as I thought. 

But, we're mountain people, so we do these things.

ETA: I suck at words.

rayna912

Has anyone else got heartburn from smells?! My neighbor is cooking Mexican food or something, it smells so spicy it's giving me heartburn. But also making me very hungry at the same time...my random for the day XP

honeybeee3

My random: I suddenly felt an intense urge to start organizing the baby's room today. Now I'm like a nesting maniac and I can't stop!!!

Lanatir

@honeybeee3-- send me some of your energy just so I can make it through the day.  I don't even care about nesting.  hahahaha.

I hope you are getting a lot done!  I LOVE your use of the meme.

aerotigergirl

I wish I had some of your nesting energy. I can't pick a damn color to paint the walls in the nursery. Seriously, you'd think I was going to be stuck with this color for the rest of my life or something. It's just paint! Choose already!

Maebb

I think Adam Levine is a douche and overrated in the hotness department, but Maroon 5 is ok. DS sings along with the howling "owwww" part of "Animals," and I think it's so funny.

luckylady18

I think Adam Levine is hot. Those tattoos...
Also, I have a friend in the fashion world and she works on his clothing line that is sold at k-mart. She works with him regularly and says he's really down to earth and is a good guy. I like to hear when celebrities are actually good people.

honeybeee3

Yeah I'm gonna enjoy this little energy spurt while it lasts. I'm sure tomorrow I'll go back to feeling like a lazy poo.

@aerotigergirl‌ I agree- Maroon 5's music is the worst! I like Adam Levine though and I think he's hot, I just wish he made better music!

BookitBoo

Well I know my UO for tomorrow!

southernyankeegirl

ExcitedMama2 said:

@violetgjoni That's super shitty of him, I'm sorry!

He is the WORST!

Why are you with him? Not being snarky, just hoping he has some redeeming factors

She explained previously that they had separated, but that when she found out she was pregnant she went back to him.  Something about how culturally it was more acceptable for her to divorce him later after the baby is born than while she's pregnant...

I don't get it, and from what she says, it seems like he doesn't have any redeeming qualities (or at least he's a terrible enough husband that there's no redeeming his behavior).  But she clearly knows he's terrible and chooses to stay with him.


  :-??

Maebb

@VioletGjoni‌, I think people are just trying to look out for your well-being. Just like if one of my best friends was with a guy who I felt like didn't treat her well, or if she was venting about him pretty regularly, I would ask her why she was with him, and it wouldn't be coming from a judgmental place but more like a place of love and concern.

This may be totally different from your story, but I was once with a guy who wasn't right for me and didn't treat me well, and I vented a lot to my parents and friends. Eventually I had to stop talking to them about him because they would just say, "Why are you with him? You shouldn't stay in a relationship where you are treated that way!" It was true, and they were saying it from a place of love, but I wasn't ready to hear it.

southernyankeegirl

VioletGjoni said:

I mean, if I can't vent here about myself without being judged then that's just wrong.

I'm not judging you, I'm sorry you felt that way.  I don't understand why you're staying because I wouldn't do the same, but I'm not you and I'm not in your shoes and I respect that it's your choice to make. I was just clarifying what you had previously explained, that it's cultural reasons for wanting to work it out when he's clearly not trying to improve. True?

I do judge him, though - I think he's being lousy to you, and for that I'm sorry. I wish there was a way to fix it because you don't deserve to be spoken to like that.  What he's doing when he makes you feel like you did something wrong when he's the one who is in the wrong is called "gaslighting" and it's a common pattern of behavior for emotional abuse. 

https://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

Don't let him get in your head - it sounds like you did the right thing by going to the store without him.  Keep on standing up for yourself - he's either going to get with the program or not, but you can't let him make you feel bad for being perfectly reasonable and independent, especially if he's being unreasonable and domineering.

BookitBoo

@VioletGjoni‌

We love you. Your honey sounds like a dick, but we love you. /hugs

MusicFanatic

BookitBoo said:

@VioletGjoni‌

We love you. Your honey sounds like a dick, but we love you. /hugs

This exactly
I'm sorry you're feeling ignored- I'm sure no one intentionally does that *hugs*

southernyankeegirl

VioletGjoni said:

VioletGjoni said:

I mean, if I can't vent here about myself without being judged then that's just wrong.

I'm not judging you, I'm sorry you felt that way.  I don't understand why you're staying because I wouldn't do the same, but I'm not you and I'm not in your shoes and I respect that it's your choice to make. I was just clarifying what you had previously explained, that it's cultural reasons for wanting to work it out when he's clearly not trying to improve. True?

I do judge him, though - I think he's being lousy to you, and for that I'm sorry. I wish there was a way to fix it because you don't deserve to be spoken to like that.  What he's doing when he makes you feel like you did something wrong when he's the one who is in the wrong is called "gaslighting" and it's a common pattern of behavior for emotional abuse. 

https://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

Don't let him get in your head - it sounds like you did the right thing by going to the store without him.  Keep on standing up for yourself - he's either going to get with the program or not, but you can't let him make you feel bad for being perfectly reasonable and independent, especially if he's being unreasonable and domineering.

------------------------------ 100% true. Thanks for clarifying what you meant. I was given the choice by my mother of either an abortion or going back to him and keeping the baby and I WILL NOT have an abortion. So I vent here because mentally I could never have an abortion and I don't want my mother worrying. I'm still a youngin and her asking me to get the abortion doesn't make her a bad mother at ALL, but that's where the culture thing kind of plays in. When I went into the abortion room I flipped out before they gave me the pill and left and when I walked out, she was hysterical while I was in there because of what I'm doing to the baby. It's just hard. Some days are amazing and some are just BAD. I'm waiting until the baby is born to see if he can whip himself back into shape and if he can't then I'm out, no question. Mentally I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left while i was pregnant because I'd always question what if he would have been better once he actually held the baby? So all I can do now is just vent and pray.

I'm so sorry your mother gave you that ultimatum.  I know you don't resent her for it, but it wasn't fair of her to make you feel like you had to choose between abortion and emotional abuse.  I know you don't want this option, but raising the child on your own IS an option that exists, should you ever want it.  And I know a bunch of fabulous single Moms who would give you lots of support and advice.

As far as him improving, I really sincerely doubt it.  A baby has never improved a marriage, it adds a whole bunch of additional strain and stress.  If he isn't affectionate and supportive of you while pregnant, it isn't likely to get any better when you're both sleep deprived and dealing with the issues of having a child.

That said, I am glad to hear you say you'll leave if he doesn't improve.  Your child deserves to see his/her mother being treated with respect, and the best example you can give that child is to be raised in a household that only tolerates love and healthy relationships.  Give yourself a deadline - like by your child's 1st birthday, things will either be MUCH better and he's actively working to improve, or you're gone.

And please, please, please promise that if a threat of violence towards you or the baby ever is even mentioned, you'll leave and never look back.

That website I listed before has a hotline to call.  If you ever need to vent or talk through a decision making process, I bet it's a great resource for you.  I had a friend in an emotionally abusive relationship that steadily progressed towards violence (threats, breaking objects while in a fight, etc.) and she used that website and the hotline to realize she had to leave.  His next girlfriend wasn't so lucky - she ended up in the ER with some pretty serious physical injuries.  Abuse is a scary thing, and can escalate a lot quicker than you'd ever imagine from verbal & emotional to physical.  Just protect yourself.

BookitBoo

VioletGjoni said:

southernyankeegirl said:

VioletGjoni said:

I mean, if I can't vent here about myself without being judged then that's just wrong.

I'm not judging you, I'm sorry you felt that way.  I don't understand why you're staying because I wouldn't do the same, but I'm not you and I'm not in your shoes and I respect that it's your choice to make. I was just clarifying what you had previously explained, that it's cultural reasons for wanting to work it out when he's clearly not trying to improve. True?

I do judge him, though - I think he's being lousy to you, and for that I'm sorry. I wish there was a way to fix it because you don't deserve to be spoken to like that.  What he's doing when he makes you feel like you did something wrong when he's the one who is in the wrong is called "gaslighting" and it's a common pattern of behavior for emotional abuse. 

https://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

Don't let him get in your head - it sounds like you did the right thing by going to the store without him.  Keep on standing up for yourself - he's either going to get with the program or not, but you can't let him make you feel bad for being perfectly reasonable and independent, especially if he's being unreasonable and domineering.

------------------------------
100% true. Thanks for clarifying what you meant. I was given the choice by my mother of either an abortion or going back to him and keeping the baby and I WILL NOT have an abortion. So I vent here because mentally I could never have an abortion and I don't want my mother worrying. I'm still a youngin and her asking me to get the abortion doesn't make her a bad mother at ALL, but that's where the culture thing kind of plays in. When I went into the abortion room I flipped out before they gave me the pill and left and when I walked out, she was hysterical while I was in there because of what I'm doing to the baby. It's just hard. Some days are amazing and some are just BAD. I'm waiting until the baby is born to see if he can whip himself back into shape and if he can't then I'm out, no question. Mentally I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left while i was pregnant because I'd always question what if he would have been better once he actually held the baby? So all I can do now is just vent and pray.


I'm so sorry that you were put in this position, especially by your mom.

FWIW, I agree with @southernyankeegirl : please don't hold your breath that he will change. I hope that he does, but I wouldn't bank on it. People are stubborn. And, to carry it further, you may love the way he is with baby, but he still may not be right for you. He needs to treat you right, because your baby deserves to see you treated with respect and love.

honeybeee3

@VioletGjoni‌ - I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this. It seems to me like you have a good head on your shoulders and know in your heart what is best for yourself and your LO which is great. Also- whenever you need to vent, I will always listen and it's obvious the other ladies here will too. We're all here for you mama. Hugs!!!