I think Facebook conversations on this are the best! I had a friend who had just found out she was pregnant around Valentine's day and she was eating some chocolate candies and her husband said she shouldn't have it because chocolate contains caffeine. She posted asking if this was true and I told her that the amount of caffeine in chocolate was so small it wouldn't affect the baby at all, and cited from pretty reliable sources for how much caffeine a pregnant woman can consume and have no affect on the baby. I included at the end that I drink black tea every morning because I get chronic migraines and one cup really helps with those, and that I'd rather consume caffeine than my not-pregnancy approved AT ALL migraine medications.
Well, some lovely mother posted "Personally I wouldn't gamble Elijah's health on some "studies" and I didn't have any caffeine during pregnancy and did just fine. I won't drink it now that I'm breastfeeding exclusively, either." I didn't know that bitch but I wanted to throat punch her. Luckily my friend replied that she read the studies that were all medically based and had decided it was just fine to eat some chocolate and have a cup of tea every now and then. But seriously who does that? It's fine if you want to avoid caffeine, I actually wish I could! But the implication that someone doesn't love their child because they consume one cup of tea and encourage their friends to have a bit of chocolate? Ridiculous!
I hate those types of moms! They are going to tell you what to do all the while telling you how wonderful they are and condescendingly tell you how wrong and selfish you are.
I guess I am selfish for continuing to have caffeine (which helps with my headaches as well), eating sushi every few MONTHS, and having lunch meat in moderation. Doesn't mean I don't love this little guy or girl any less. Give me a break!
OMG I HATE the "you'll never sleep again!" comments. It's true that some babies aren't the greatest sleepers, but especially in the beginning I felt like that and eating is all that DS did. The nurse told me that since I only had one I should try the whole "sleep when the baby sleeps" idea. There is no way I could have slept that much! I kept trying to nap, and would sometimes, but I felt like I should be more productive during the day. And this was while we were feeding every 2 hours even at night due to weight issues!
So you may not sleep as much as you did before, but our bodies are amazing at adapting to less sleep. The first time I got 5 hours straight I felt like I could run a marathon and would never be tired again. People forget to include this little fact when they try to scare new parents-to-be.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
It's annoying how everyone thinks they are pregnancy experts just because they've had a baby before. I deleted my facebook due to comments and messages about my size. Even though there were 2 negatives out of hundreds of positives, my hormones just couldn't take it. I had a cousin message me that she was worried about how big my bump was and how big I'm going to get. Like really? How rude! Are you really worried, or just trying to hurt my feelings? Then my aunt messaged me to remind me to eat for one not two. Umm okay? Duh! I'm a registered nurse and this is common knowledge, not top secret!
I particularly dislike advice from people who have never been pregnant. Or the whole, "what they will be doing when they are pregnant one day" judgement call.
I particularly dislike advice from people who have never been pregnant. Or the whole, "what they will be doing when they are pregnant one day" judgement call.
My SIL is queen of this habit. Never been pregnant, but worked as a receptionist at an OB office. Apparently this makes her an expert.
I teach middle school, and they really give the best advice. One student told me I shouldn't lift my arms over my head or I would wrap the cord around the baby's neck. She told me I could google it if I didn't believe her.
@RQuinlin im about in the same boat. We just told my mom about my pregnancy. We waited so long for a few different reasons but one was because we knew she would "all over it". About 4 minutes after telling her she looked at my sonograms and said "it's a boy" and has been telling everyone it's a boy since. WE DON'T FIND OUT TIL THE 29th lol she even write an entire Facebook post about her new "grandson" Like no it might be a boy or anything like that no no "it's deff a boy". She is coming with us to our a/s and I swear if we're told it is a girl she will tell them that their wrong. She even bought baby boy cloths today and just gave them to me. (Mind you we haven't even bought anything at all yet).
And the Facebook post, we haven't told my grandfather yet but she forgot that he could see her Facebook. I totally freaked on her and asked if he saw it and she said "well he called the other day and asked about it but I can't remember if that was real or if I dreamt it" AHH WTF MOM!! So I would say this would falls into the unwanted information/attention category.
THIS is why we were very firm about letting people know it was NOT IN ANY WAY facebook new when we told them we were expecting. In fact I repeated it many times that it was not for public consumption and we would tell people when we were ready. I'm glad I did because my MIL was ready to whip out her iPad and update her fb RIGHT WHEN I TOLD HER. Really? I know you're excited to be a grandmother for the first time but this is in no way your news!
Why can't people just back the eff off and understand this is MY baby, not THEIR baby.
For me I've been getting a lot of advice from my mother (which I know is just regurgitated from my cousin who now has two girls.) Yes, a lot of it is valid, but she speaks to me like I haven't done my own research and it's as if everything my cousin says is gospel. No, I don't think I need HALF THE CRAP my cousin told me she couldn't live without and we just HAVE to register for. Just calm down over there.
Yes, I will listen because it is my mother and she raised three children and we're all intelligent, highly functioning, successful members of society, but a lot has changed in 30+ years and some of that information is out of date. I can't deal with preachy and YOU MUST DO THIS because it is how I did it sort of advice.
Luckily, I work with a lot of youngish men and they are more curious than judgmental. No one has ever looked at me funny for what I was eating or asked me if I should be doing this or should be doing that. They are more inquisitive and ask me, "Why are you heating up your lunchmeat like that?" or "Is the baby kicking yet? When does that start?" I think they all know better than to make snide comments (even if they're thinking about them) because they know I will eviscerate them if they give me the chance.
"Serious is only something you have to be until you can be silly again."
Except for a few annoying comments, people in my life have been pretty good. I had a lady at work walk with me up the 10 stairs the other day because I wasn't holding on and "I could pass out and fall down" Umm, what about the 25 other times a day I am up and down the stairs and you are not there to hold my hand?!
Sorry to bring this old post back up, but, I was just told by my SS's BM-who Is a poor excuse of a mother-that she was very "concerned" about the pants I was wearing (jeggings) she said I should not wear them if they are not maternity pants because I might squish the baby. Really? They are super comfy, stretchy and wonderful! I am not squishing my baby.
Sorry to bring this old post back up, but, I was just told by my SS's BM-who Is a poor excuse of a mother-that she was very "concerned" about the pants I was wearing (jeggings) she said I should not wear them if they are not maternity pants because I might squish the baby. Really? They are super comfy, stretchy and wonderful! I am not squishing my baby.
I am sorry, but since when are jeggings dangerous? LOL I say more power to you if you can have clothing in your wardrobe during pregnancy that you can use AFTER too.
Oh and just to be clear- is she concerned specifically by the "jeggings" or are leggings and tights a no no too? lol
Background: I just moved to MN after living in CA my entire life. My family has never experienced snow for more than 3 days but I was here last winter and it was….what it was.
Mom calls me last week and tells me that she wants to talk to me about something serious and she wants me to really think about it before I respond. She then proceeds to tell me that I should quit my job because winter is coming and what if I slip and fall in the snow getting into the car on the way to work? I just started laughing which pissed her off. I told her I would be happy to quit my job if she sent me money every month to help pay for our mortgage and bills. I also told her that there is a great big population of women out here who work and are pregnant without any devastating falls. Her reply? "I'm just saying to think about it. If something happens to that baby because you fall…." .
This is the same woman who got me bright pink footsie, one piece, pajamas with a hood last winter because I mentioned how cold it was. Umm…I am 33 years old.
Traveling this past weekend, one of the flight attendants asked if I was planning on breast feeding. When I responded yes, she proceeded to tell me I should make sure to "rough up my nipples" with a wet washcloth in the weeks leading up to the birth, complete with demonstration. I thought my mom and husband were going to die...
I got the basic advice when I was pregnant the first time and just smiled and said thanks, then did what I wanted to anyway, it was after DD was born that I got advice that drove me nuts.
I held her (or her father held her ) a ton when she was a newborn, and even still, I love the cuddle time! But my family told me I was spoiling her and I should make her lay in her bouncer more or put her in her swing more. Uhm, no you can not spoil a newborn baby.
Also I was told to put cereal in her bottle at 1 month old to keep her full for longer. Nope again, but thanks!
I tried to not be snarky about it though because it was family and lots of things have changed since they had kids so I would just gently remind them that guidelines for babies have changed so much.
Ya both of those things would drive me nuts! I think I read that baby's don't get into habits until like 6 months, def can't spoil a newborn. I used to work in a hospital & I remember one really young mom tell her aunt to put the baby down & kept talking about how she didn't want to spoil her, I felt so bad off that baby:( my first stopped falling asleep on me on his own at 3 months, has always been incredibly independent. So I am so looking forward to another tiny human sleeping on me & cuddling!!
Last night the house was eating dinner, like normal. It was some sort of frozen-heat-up-stouffers Chicken Enchilada tray, which I normally LOVE. Baby wasn't a huge fan of the spiciness, so I just had 1 and my salad. I was trapped in the corner and asked the outside roommate to get me a little more salad. She took my plate, and I went back to talking to everyone else. A second later, my plate is placed in front of me with 3 enchiladas on it.
"Um, I wanted salad."
-"You need to put on more weight. Eat those."
"1) No, my weight gain is fine and the doctor said everyone's healthy. 2)These aren't sitting right, which is WHY I'm sticking to the salad tonight."
-"Stop using 'baby doesn't like it' as an excuse to not eat calories. You only ever eat vegetables and should be bigger by now. S____, you're supposed to be fat."
"Thanks for your concern, but we're fine." At that point I excused myself from the table, grabbed an apple on the way out of the kitchen, and spent most the night dealing with heartburn from my ONE enchilada.
I've gained 20 lbs, I'm carrying normally, and just wanted my damn leafy greens for the day. No, thank you, roomie who hath no desire for children much less any living of her own.
Last week while at the gym, a women who has been taking the same class with me for 1.5 yr (and hasnt said a word to me) yelled out "OMG you have really "popped" are you having twins???!!!" I wanted to say, "wow we have been coming to the same class for 1.5 yrs and you still havent lost any weight?" Instead I cried the rest of the night:(
This was 2 days after my mother told me there was something wrong with the baby because I shouldnt be so big @ 20 weeks. I have gained 11lbs and currently weigh 130 lbs...
Just remember the Dr is the professional and if she/he say you are doing just fine, then you have nothing to worry about:)
Re: unwarranted advice!
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Misery loves company?
Me: 29 DH: 35
Married: 9/29/12
DS #1: 3/8/15THIS is why we were very firm about letting people know it was NOT IN ANY WAY facebook new when we told them we were expecting. In fact I repeated it many times that it was not for public consumption and we would tell people when we were ready. I'm glad I did because my MIL was ready to whip out her iPad and update her fb RIGHT WHEN I TOLD HER. Really? I know you're excited to be a grandmother for the first time but this is in no way your news!
Why can't people just back the eff off and understand this is MY baby, not THEIR baby.
For me I've been getting a lot of advice from my mother (which I know is just regurgitated from my cousin who now has two girls.) Yes, a lot of it is valid, but she speaks to me like I haven't done my own research and it's as if everything my cousin says is gospel. No, I don't think I need HALF THE CRAP my cousin told me she couldn't live without and we just HAVE to register for. Just calm down over there.
Yes, I will listen because it is my mother and she raised three children and we're all intelligent, highly functioning, successful members of society, but a lot has changed in 30+ years and some of that information is out of date. I can't deal with preachy and YOU MUST DO THIS because it is how I did it sort of advice.
Luckily, I work with a lot of youngish men and they are more curious than judgmental. No one has ever looked at me funny for what I was eating or asked me if I should be doing this or should be doing that. They are more inquisitive and ask me, "Why are you heating up your lunchmeat like that?" or "Is the baby kicking yet? When does that start?" I think they all know better than to make snide comments (even if they're thinking about them) because they know I will eviscerate them if they give me the chance.
"Serious is only something you have to be until you can be silly again."I had a lady at work walk with me up the 10 stairs the other day because I wasn't holding on and "I could pass out and fall down"
Umm, what about the 25 other times a day I am up and down the stairs and you are not there to hold my hand?!
Married the love of my life: 5-17-14
BFP:6-27-14
EDD:3-11-15
Step Mom to Z: 4-11-06
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!
Married the love of my life: 5-17-14
BFP:6-27-14
EDD:3-11-15
Step Mom to Z: 4-11-06
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!
Ya both of those things would drive me nuts! I think I read that baby's don't get into habits until like 6 months, def can't spoil a newborn. I used to work in a hospital & I remember one really young mom tell her aunt to put the baby down & kept talking about how she didn't want to spoil her, I felt so bad off that baby:( my first stopped falling asleep on me on his own at 3 months, has always been incredibly independent. So I am so looking forward to another tiny human sleeping on me & cuddling!!
BFP: 07/14/2014, EDD: 03/04/2015