Stupid shit significant others say...

Nichole8787

Now I want to start by saying my husband is wonderful! I love him so much! Last night he took over the night shift with baby and let me sleep because I was exhausted. I mean that's pretty awesome and amazing! But let's face it...no matter how awesome he is, he says some stupid shit sometimes. I could write a book. This one just happened....

First off he steamed our hard wood floor: that is awesome and I'm so thankful! Second he leaves everything out, unravelled and everywhere. (pad, measuring cup. vinegar, actual steamer etc.) Well I put everything away but ask him to put away the steamer. I think he does. Then a few minutes later I walk into the kitchen and it's leaning against another wall. I say "Babe, will you please put the steamer all the way away" (I was cleaning counters) He looks me dead in the eye and says " Well at least it's closer to being put away" Seriously? Seriously I just had to roll my eyes and go about my business.....

jnnfrrose6

Last night DH called DD "it."  I was holding her and needed him to take her so I could go to the bathroom.  He looked at me and said "Do you want me to take it?"  

Mamanorris81

I sucked in my stomach and said " I wish I was this skinny" he said "you were when we met." thanks asshole. I said "I need to color my hair" he said " why? Let the grey come in and then you can be a cougar" I'm 33. He's an awesome guy but needs a new mouth filter!

Nichole8787

Mamanorris81 said:

I sucked in my stomach and said " I wish I was this skinny" he said "you were when we met." thanks asshole. I said "I need to color my hair" he said " why? Let the grey come in and then you can be a cougar" I'm 33. He's an awesome guy but needs a new mouth filter!

This made me laugh so hard! At least he's honest.....stupid but honest.

Mamanorris81

He's too honest! Usually he knows as its leaving his mouth that it's stupid. Sometimes he is so surprised that what he has to say is the dumbest shit ever. Good thing he's cute!

Nichole8787

@cko521 I love it! Sexy woman warrior! That is awesome!

darkangel42

I love my OH but it takes everything I have not to run him over with my car whenever he complains he's tired, which is often.

Yes, he gets up early for work and works hard BUT he also chooses to stay up until stupid o'clock playing xbox. 

He also keeps asking me if he can feed her stuff (as in letting her have a lick if he has an apple) and I tell him AGAIN not until at least 4 months but then when I said I'd made and frozen some baby food he can feed her when she's old enough, he said he doesn't want to. ???

ADC1979

My DH is amazing and awesome and so sweet.  And sometimes he also says things that make me want to lose my mind.

Friday is recycling day.  It's no big mystery about this, and the trucks come through super early (in my world 7:15 am is still super early since we're not out the door at that time).  So every thursday night after 10pm, I have to ask him if he's going to put the recycling out.

"I'll do it tomorrow."

Wait, how will you do this tomorrow when you're never dressed at that time and you're not one of the types that goes outside in your undies.  And you're not telekinetic.

I point that out and I get a "I'll do it later." 

Procrastination, the best nation in the world.

cookiemomma14

I take care of all MOTN stuff since I'm nursing and staying home for awhile. After the 5-6 feeding I'll sometimes ask DH to take DS since I get up a lot with him. DH said no that he was tired, after he had went to sleep at 9:30. I started to get mad and stay up but then shook his arm and said I don't care cuz I'm more tired. It's your turn.

Last night I had class and was gone from 4:30-9:30. I get home and it looks like a war zone. Dirty diapers just laying everywhere, bottles out, half eaten bowl of soup on the table, and the car seat on the living room floor (not where I normally leave it). DH said they had to go on a drive to calm DS and that it was rough. I was secretly glad that he was fussy for him and that the house was a mess. Now he knows just a slice of my daily life. (Probably should have saved this for tomorrow's FFFC, but I know I'd forget)

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Csltdk

My DH rarely says stupid shit, but I do!

For instance getting ready for Thursday night football and watching JJ Watt ( who is a monster) stretch and get ready for the game, I wondered out loud " do you think JJ Watts got a big dick?"

He just stares at me.

Legit question though

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aarcher21jul said:

Last night I went out for a drink. I came home and my husband said man this parenting thing is so easy I look in the swing and she's been sleeping since I left. I really wanted to say my peace but he did take her so I kept my lips sealed. I sure do wish she would do that when I was home alone with her.

She obviously finds him to be a real snore, @aarcher21jul. 

walterjenne

I finally fit into my regular jeans ( they were my fat jeans before baby) and I got them buttoned. I showed DH because I was so excited and told him I managed to get into my fat jeans today and he looked at me and said "you're no longer pregnant, you're just fat now."

I know he didn't mean it the way he said it and he immediately wished he could pull the words back after they came out.

Artistmom30

walterjenne said:

I finally fit into my regular jeans ( they were my fat jeans before baby) and I got them buttoned. I showed DH because I was so excited and told him I managed to get into my fat jeans today and he looked at me and said "you're no longer pregnant, you're just fat now."

I know he didn't mean it the way he said it and he immediately wished he could pull the words back after they came out.

I'm at a loss. How he thought it was a good idea to say that to you, I don't know. I hope he did some serious apologizing after that.

shortstack930

I was telling DH that I couldn't believe that DD is 11 weeks old and that I was in labor with her 11 weeks ago and he goes "I don't know about you but that was the longest day of my life!" I just looked at him like this :-w because seriously, I was in labor over 15 hours and ended up needing a c section and then he realized what he said and was like "yeah I'm sure it was worse for you, my bad."

Nichole8787

Dh called last minute to tell me/ask me about going to a bar to watch the game. No biggie until he says...I mean you got to go out for the whole night on Saturday. I said seriously??! Before I could even stay anything else he was stumbling to apologize. One night in about a year...no you don't get to use that against me.

Monicalynnsd

Three weeks after having the baby I looked in the mirror and my stomach looked really good, so I pulled up my shirt to show my DH and I said "Now I only look 3 months pregnant, in a few more weeks I'll be able to get back to running and hopefully this will go away." Then he says you don't need to wait, so-and-so's wife ran a marathon two weeks after having twins. This pissed me off beyond belief and I told him that was physically impossible. Later I learned that this woman actually is a freak of nature and did run a marathon while pregnant and shortly after having the baby. But I was so pissed to hear it that he learned never to compare me to her again!

Jordanjkmr

Sometimes I wish men could get pregnant, just so they would understand the whole inflating to fit a human and then trying to get used to the new normal our bodies surprise us with after.

Of course, some of this stuff would probably still come out of their mouths!

DH made a comment about clothing/ my body this past week too...mushy brain can't remember exactly how it all went.

kenziebug22

Because I don't have any man in my life (besides DS of course ) I'm lurking and sure am getting a good laugh. Guys are so dumb sometimes.

Thanks for making my boring night after a crap night of work a little better :P

abrazz

I'm pretty lucky in the body department that my DH is smart enough to not say anything negative, but my Dad is not.  We work together and last week I walked into a procedure room and another nurse said, your Dad is going to be in trouble.  A patient was asking where I was and remarked that I am so little it's hard to see me (most likely meaning that I am so short it's hard to see me) and my Dad replied, she's not so little any more, she has a big butt.  My nurse friend said she told him she was going to tell on him and he begged her not to lol.  Then he begged me not to tell my mother.  I didn't and am holding on to this for later blackmail.   

darkangel42

I'm miserable because of [the thing]. OH knows this so I tried to distract myself with Netflix and food. 

Until he called from work and said "Just calling to check you're ok because of [the thing]".

Man's a genius but common sense, he has not.

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darkangel42

It's not what he said, it's how he said it. He's known me long enough to know I would be trying not to think about it.

It's awesome and sweet that he called to check on me but he could have just not said "because of [the thing]".

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alyssa719

darkangel42 said:

I'm miserable because of [the thing]. OH knows this so I tried to distract myself with Netflix and food. 

Until he called from work and said "Just calling to check you're ok because of [the thing]".

Man's a genius but common sense, he has not.

I don't get it.  What is [the thing]??  The baby?

darkangel42

There's a thing making me miserable but it's a long story so rather than try and explain it, I shortened it. I also shortened the conversation since it wouldn't make sense to anyone else word-for word.

It's not the baby either.

Side-eye away, DH reminding me of the thing I'm trying to forget counts as a stupid thing my SO has said, even if I suck at wording.

TugboatSheila

The other day DH told me he had finally lost all the baby weight he had gained. He put on some sympathy weight I guess.

And I'm over here... Just sitting here holding onto mine still.

ariel8200

I went to the grocery store and left dd with DH and she was napping. Came back and she was in the swing fussing. Asked him did you give her the paci? He said no, but he 'tried everything. I gave her the paci and she was content.

Then he says 'The laundry in the washer is done but I didn't know what to do with it.'

Come on, he's a 42 year old that knows how to put laundry in the dryer....

Ekg688

I had to take DD's temperature the other night. This was the following convoy
DH: You violated my daughters butthole without my permission?!?
Me: She felt warm, I needed to take her temp!
DH: I'm gonna violate your butthole but the thermometer is going to be a hell of a lot bigger!
Me: *eye roll*

dobbyisfree

When we were getting ready to leave the hospital, I suggested to DH that we should go to his parents house and use their house phone because I had a million calls to make and limited minutes. His response? Okay. Should we bring the baby?

chevronseven

Right before sex on multiple occasions, DH has told me that my vagina is scary looking now and that he wishes we had taken before and after photos. To be fair, he's always said vaginas are scary looking in general and I know he means it in a fascinated way and not grossed out by it, but does he have to say it every time?

Also, yeah I'm also side-eying someone who gets mad at their SO for calling to check on them. I could see it if you specifically told him you would be trying to forget about it and to please not bring it up, but if you didn't then he was definitely just being nice. That's why guys think women are such mysteries and impossible to please. Although maybe he didn't need to explicitly say why he was calling to check on you since it would have been self evident, but still.

Nichole8787

amlonica said:

When we were getting ready to leave the hospital, I suggested to DH that we should go to his parents house and use their house phone because I had a million calls to make and limited minutes. His response? Okay. Should we bring the baby?

you win. 

darkangel42

livelaughlove88 said:

Also, yeah I'm also side-eying someone who gets mad at their SO for calling to check on them. I could see it if you specifically told him you would be trying to forget about it and to please not bring it up, but if you didn't then he was definitely just being nice. That's why guys think women are such mysteries and impossible to please. Although maybe he didn't need to explicitly say why he was calling to check on you since it would have been self evident, but still.

The part where I said "I'm probably going to watch a movie tonight because I don't want to think about it" could have given it away. I'm sorry I didn't relay the entire afternoon's conversation so a load of internet strangers wouldn't side-eye me. I really didn't think anyone would care enough to even read it, much less comment on it. 

Nichole8787

darkangel42 said:

livelaughlove88 said:

Also, yeah I'm also side-eying someone who gets mad at their SO for calling to check on them. I could see it if you specifically told him you would be trying to forget about it and to please not bring it up, but if you didn't then he was definitely just being nice. That's why guys think women are such mysteries and impossible to please. Although maybe he didn't need to explicitly say why he was calling to check on you since it would have been self evident, but still.

The part where I said "I'm probably going to watch a movie tonight because I don't want to think about it" could have given it away. I'm sorry I didn't relay the entire afternoon's conversation so a load of internet strangers wouldn't side-eye me. I really didn't think anyone would care enough to even read it, much less comment on it. 

you just never know what shit is going to hit the fan....boring though. Let's all move on.

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darkangel42

The point wasn't what was making me miserable, the point was my OH reminding me about what I as trying to forget.

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jensavicci

Stupid and silly convo between DW and I just now

DW: so, I think I'll join TB.

Me: why?

DW: you seem to like it. I might too. Think your friends might like me?

Me: No! They're mine. Get your own friends. Jerk.

DW: haha jealous?

Me: maybe...

DW: my awesomeness might overwhelm them though.

Me: it might. It totally might. I'm overwhelmed as we speak.

DW: alright I won't join. I don't want to be held responsible for all that overwhelming power.

Me: excellent.

:::moments later:::

DW: speaking of overwhelming awesomeness, when will we be rocking the boat again?

Me: o_O

.....so that's us lol.

jensavicci

Hm. Just noticed I posted in the middle of a flame.

Awkwerd.

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