TTC with PCOS, on the verge of throwing in the towel

marleighkay7

DH and I have been ttc since May 1. I was officially diagnosed with PCOS in June. Last month we thought we were finally going to get BFP. I had sore breasts, a little spotting about a week before af was due, queasy as hell, sleeping all the time, bad mood swings, the typical pregnancy signs. Got 2 bfns using the dg test. Went to gy and did pee and blood test after af was about 10 days late. Pee test was negative. Get home and af shows up. Blood test comes back negative. Probably tmi but dh and I have done it nearly every day this cycle (started 9/4) My cycle typically runs 30-32 days. So far no af, sore breasts, sleeping constantly!!! (no idea how I don't fall asleep driving to work), been really queasy and had several food aversions in the last week and a half, some heartburn, feeling kinda out of it (hope that makes sense) and all I want to do is cry. Took a test earlier today and it was bfn. 

I've been on 2000 mg metformin since June. As far as we know, dh is perfectly normal. No smoking, occasional beer when he's watching the game with his friends, active, no drug use history, no steroid history. 

What should we do? I don't know how much longer I can keep getting my hopes up just to have them crushed again. DH and I both want children and MIL has been dropping hints HARD about wanting grandchildren. 

theholmanherd

I am sorry you're feeling upset, but slow down. First off, it can take the average couple 12 months to conceive and that's within the normal range. If I'm not mistaken (3T'ers correct me if I'm wrong), PCOS doesn't necessarily mean infertility. You have a regular cycle, so you may not have to worry. Don't borrow trouble. If it gets to be a year of sex 2-3x a week where YH finishes inside you, then find an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to run tests. As for your family, tell them to back off. It's none of their damn business. Believe me, we have all dealt with insensitive family and friends.

This board is for women with IF diagnoses who have been trying over a year (if under age 35) or 6 months (if over 35). You may be more suited to TTGP. However, you need to calm down first. Four months is not long AT ALL. Lurk a little, read the newbie blog on here and on TTGP and decide which board is best for you. Then, intro. Good luck.

Edit to add: symptom spotting will make you feel nutty. All those symptoms mean nothing without a BFP because they are the same as PMS (and, in some cases, colds and stomach bugs). Try not to read too much into random symptoms. They are more of a hindsight thing, as in after you get a BFP, then you realize, "yeah, I was a little nauseous and had to pee a lot, so it makes sense".

Shauntee

I agree with what PP have said. I have PCOS and have been trying for almost 4 years. A coworker of mine also had PCOS, but it only took her 5 months. Give it at least a year. Four months is a relatively short time.

marleighkay7

I have been using a cycle tracker app. My cycles are not really that regular and never have been. My gy told me that with the pcos it would be very very (near impossible) for us to get pregnant on our own if I did not have luck with the metformin shortly and that we may want to start saving for ivf. 

It is discouraging seeing nearly all of my close friends either having children or expecting. My little sister has 2 children from only having unprotected sex once each time. I know its not right to compare apples but maybe I got the shit end of the stick in the genes. 

chicory

Your gyno told you to start saving for IVF?! Sure, some women with PCOS go down the IVF route. But as a pp said, PCOS is not an infertility death sentence, and there is a lot more involved diagnostic-wise before IVF would be recommended. Not to mention, an OBGYN doesn't recommend or even do IVF. REs (reproductive endocrinologists) do, after determining a complete diagnosis with bloodwork on you and YH, semen analysis, imaging (HSG, SHG, hysteroscopy, etc) for your uterus, and if IVF is actually indicated, a crap ton more of testing. It's making a huge leap, IMO (granted I don't actually know your medical history nor am I a physician) to say you should start saving for IVF. If you're worried, on this board we usually urge women to get a referral to an RE. Most won't see you if you haven't been trying for at least a year, so in your case you might want to push your gyno for more testing. Or continue to be patient and try to learn more about predicting your own ovulation. Read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility." Start temping and tracking your cycle if not already. Use OPKs (not fail proof.) And I understand the comments being hard to take, and don't take this the wrong way, but if this is really going to be a path of "trouble" TTC for you, you might be at this for a while and may want to work on developing a thicker skin. Good luck.

LindseyM2012

PCOSer here. I can certainly understand the impatience and frustration. I'm going to support part of what PPs have said but contradict some other things. You've only been actively TTC for 5 months. That feels like a lifetime, but please keep in mind that a "normal" couple can take up to a year to conceive. Add in a sometimes complex hormonal imbalance and you're not going to have the same timeline.

With PCOS, many women simply do not ovulate regularly without ovulation inducing meds. It all depends on what your specific PCOS looks like. For instance, I've likely ovulated a handful of times in my whole life. Others can ovulate a couple times a year. OPKs don't work because LH is typically off in PCOSers. My advice is to work with an RE asap if you're not already. Get all the testing done. It's probably safe to assume you don't ovulate regularly so don't set yourself up for disappointment every month. I saw an RE after only 8 months of TTC because of a PCOS diagnosis so you don't have to wait the full year before meeting criteria for IF. The good news is that chances of pregnancy are good with PCOS, but you'll need help ovulating.

Be nice to yourself. You didn't ask for your hormones to be out of whack. But be realistic about what you're body is doing so you don't set yourself up for disappointment every month.

theholmanherd

Yes, please see an RE (after 12 months of TTC). Your OB-GYN is great for three things: yearly exams, pregnancy prevention, and pregnancy itself. OB-GYNs should NOT be consulted for GETTING pregnant. You're getting way ahead of yourself. The way you write, I am picturing you breathing into a paper bag. When you start TTC, you start to notice all the pregnancies and babies around you. It's normal. Don't compare yourself to others. You are quite literally making yourself crazy.

chicory

Wise words @LindseyM2012‌ I'm not PCOS so I probably didn't give super helpful advice on that front. I'll admit I kinda saw red when I read OBGYN, 5 months, and IVF in the same breath. Calm down chicory!! @marleighkay7‌ again, good luck.

LindseyM2012

theholmanherd said:

Yes, please see an RE (after 12 months of TTC). Your OB-GYN is great for three things: yearly exams, pregnancy prevention, and pregnancy itself. OB-GYNs should NOT be consulted for GETTING pregnant. You're getting way ahead of yourself. The way you write, I am picturing you breathing into a paper bag. When you start TTC, you start to notice all the pregnancies and babies around you. It's normal. Don't compare yourself to others. You are quite literally making yourself crazy.

Just a small clarification- With a clear fertility issue (diagnosed PCOS is just that) you don't HAVE to wait 12 months (or 6 months if over 35).

theholmanherd

LindseyM2012 said:

Yes, please see an RE (after 12 months of TTC). Your OB-GYN is great for three things: yearly exams, pregnancy prevention, and pregnancy itself. OB-GYNs should NOT be consulted for GETTING pregnant. You're getting way ahead of yourself. The way you write, I am picturing you breathing into a paper bag. When you start TTC, you start to notice all the pregnancies and babies around you. It's normal. Don't compare yourself to others. You are quite literally making yourself crazy.

Just a small clarification- With a clear fertility issue (diagnosed PCOS is just that) you don't HAVE to wait 12 months (or 6 months if over 35).

I thought so. Thanks.

yepitsme215

I'm sorry you are feeling this way *hugs* PCOS is a very difficult disease to deal with (I have it as well.)

HOWEVER as other board members have told you, this is for women who have been ttc for longer than a year. May is nothing compared to how long some of the women have been waiting for their miracle. You need to slow your roll and realize that you are on the right track and (especially with PCOS) probably won't become pregnant instantly. 

Also, see an RE. You'll see results much faster.

dancerspose

Hello, fellow PCOSer here.  I did not wait a year being seeing an RE because I stopped getting my period altogether and I didn't have an OB/GYN since my PCP was doing my yearly exams.  My insurance didn't require a referral so I self-referred.  I am glad I did because I had never heard of PCOS or any of the tests until I met with the RE.  So, my advice would be (given your diagnosis) if your insurance covers IF diagnostics then I would definitely get to an RE.

Now, that said, I do agree with some of the other ladies that you do need to calm down and take a deep breath.  I'm not sure how old you are, but PCOS is definitely not a fertility death sentence.  However, you need to prepare yourself because this is a lengthy and tedious process.  I had my first RE visit 4 months ago, and am still several steps away from getting treatment because of the time the testing took and what was discovered.  TTTC is definitely not a sprint, it's much more of a marathon. 

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can get some answers soon.

MoseyAnkles

To OP, I know how you feel about being sure your pregnant and it just leads to disappointment with a BFN. We've been there, and it's a new heartache everytime. But this is still early in the game for you. If having a child is something you really want, then it's worth all of the effort I wish you the best on this wild ride called "getting KU"

BunnyBerry

I know how frustrating it is, I also kept believing each month was the one! I learned that the fluctuations in progesterone during the luteal phase (between ovulation and period) can cause nausea - I get a lot and it was always psyching me out.

Sometimes it can help the frustration to feel like you're doing all you can. I would recommend taking the Fertility Friend.com charting course. OPKs are great to predict O is coming soon, but temping is the only way to be sure that you are ovulating and usually can tell you exactly which day it happened especially when combined with OPK and/or checking cervical mucous. 

My RE said it was super helpful that I brought a few months of complete charts because they communicate so much to the doctor. For example, I have polycystic ovaries and some signs of PCOS but the charts showed the RE I ovulated every month, which was helpful for him to know when planning our treatment.

It's so hard to realize that getting pregnant may not be a simple and quick process as it is for some women, but the reality is that 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility, and as previous posters said, it's not a fertility death sentence - in fact, women with PCOS diagnosis have higher success rates with treatment than women with other diagnoses. It just can take time.