This too shall pass...

rjacques

Hi everyone! I don't really post here but am more of a lurker. Right now I am at my wits end. My 26 month old is really testing his limits... and mine. My DH is out of town for 3 weeks which doesn't help because DS misses him and I think he is acting out more because of it. I have raised my voice more times then I care to admit this week and I feel horrible about it. I know he can probably sense my frustration and feeds off of it and I need to carefully choose my battles. I also have a nursing 3 month so when I am nursing him is he tends to act out more since he knows I am preoccupied. I feel like I am terrible mom when I raise my voice to DS. After all, he is only 2 and most of it is he is acting like a toddler and this too shall pass,  but my patience is wearing thin. Any tips out there with mommas with a toddler and nursing baby? 

 

ashiscute

Man it's rough for YH to be away 3 whole weeks!  I know that days DH doesn't come home from work at normal time it feels like the days creeps by.  Mine are bigger now but are 19.5 mos apart so I remember what you're going through.  I tried to rotate toys out so there were new things to play with sometimes.  We have a slide, ball pit, and mini trampoline in our basement that we bring up occasionally and they love.  If they're up all of the time the kids get bored with them.  Also, are you able to feed baby in a carrier so you can move around?  I never got the hang of it personally but I know some people do it.  

PP suggestion of having someone come over a bit is great.  My DH is going out of town in a couple weeks and I'm already lining up dinner plans for each night he is gone just to make the time not drag as much.  

Try not to stress too much or feel guilty.  Pop in a movie, let him make a mess, use paper plates and try to remember it will be over soon and you'll hardly remember this part.  

rjacques

Thanks! Unfortunately we are relatively new to the area and don't have anyone that can come over. Our families both live over 10 hours away which makes it even harder. 
I have never tried nursing in a carrier. I have the Ergo. Is it even possible with that one? 

Thanks for the suggestions. The only peace I get is once everyone is in bed and then I can finally sit down and re-group since they don't both nap at the same time on weekends.

It's worse during the week once I get out of work and pick them up from day care, they are tired, hungry and cranky. 

Anyways, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening and for the suggestions! 

SophieTrue32

Hey there @rjacques, just wanted to say that you're a great Mamma and you should stay strong and be gentle to yourself.

What about friends? Maybe you could help each other babysit your kids. We like this approach a lot because it allows us to save money on babysitters and also gives us the peace of mind because we trust our friends. Hope you are doing better by the time you are reading this!

mcgeeva

My husband traveled every other week if not weeks back to back my whole pregnancy and when I had my second lo. They were about the age of your kids. I nursed as well and in the beginning my son had a rough time when I was busy. Seriously my break was letting him watch a little mickey mouse or sesame street to give me some mental sanity. Or I would head outside and seriously be breastfeeding and playing basketball in the other hand to wear my son out. Sometimes I feel you do what you have to do to survive. Definitely try to walk away, let him kick and scream and have his meltdown. I would tell myself no on every died from crying. Bedtimes for my were the worst. I would have a crying baby and a toddler I would be trying to get dressed and ready. So someone had to cry. Nothing I could do. After a year of his traveling I asked the neighbor's daughter who is 16 to come over and while I was home watch the toddler and baby if he was in the swing so I could clean the house or do anything for that matter to give myself a break. Good luck!

mcgeeva

I will say it will get easier. I am not sure how often your husband will travel after that but each month my toddler got older and he was around the baby another month things got easier. He got more independent, enjoyed his little brother more and didn't as much me me me right now time. Now he is super helpful as well Love to get baby a paci, diaper etc

Beevol

My husband travels a lot for work as well and it's hard! I try to plan out having people over for dinner or going out for dinner with friends/family for those evenings, especially after day 3 or so. That helps keep us both sane. 

If it's really bad - if DD is just being entirely too two or if I've had a rough day at work and I know that I just don't have the emotional energy - I'll institute the special treat of dinner and a movie. There is little that The Lion King or Frozen wont solve. Since we don't watch TV usually (like, she gets to watch one movie a month or so and no TV shows) I don't feel too guilty about it and it also makes her feel like even though Daddy is gone (which is stressful for her) that she gets a special treat to look forward to.  

rjacques

Thank you ladies! It is getting better with each day and we are getting into a routine that works. DS has his moments but they are getting shorter. Thanks for the encouragement!