::UO::

kimberly_ann81

@aeonlux

We've been asked about nickname for her and I said when she chooses one; same as the boys.  DH thought Eva would work but that is the neighbors dog so that's a no-go for me.  Her middle name is going to be your 1st DD's name.  We must have similar taste in names

I'm with you on the cutie names for genitalia; we use the correct name with my oldest and will do so with the others as well.

Lilwatz

@aeonlux I have a good friend who was in the situation of low risk, hospital birth, they found something that without a c section, if she had tried to push her baby out he would have bled out and died (I don't remember all the specifics but there were certain blood vessels that were in the wrong place and would rupture certainly fitting through the birth canal).  It happens.  Maybe not frequently, but it does--not just in movies.  

Autumnsnow

StacyMarie33 said:

Maelara said:

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

THIS. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

Our house will be decorated with blood, skeletons, spiderwebs, pumpkins and more (DH loves Halloween too). Last year for Halloween DD was about 8 months old and I was hanging up a skeleton and she thought it was the most hilarious thing ever! She was laughing hysterically at all the Halloween decorations as I put them up! I am secretly hoping this LO comes early like DD did so we can have Halloween themed parties for him!

Make that at least 3 of us.  When I lived at home (and my parents still do it) we have the graveyard on the lawn with the smoke machine.. Do the whole house up.  People bring their kids from other towns to our block cuz of our house and two others on the block. It's insane and I LOVE it.  Even had a Halloween themed wedding.  Here's my wedding cake...It's hard to see but it's a Nightmare Before Christmas topper/

brichar31

KUinCBUS said:

I'm totally late to the party and this is related to nothing else in the thread (though I did mention it in the randoms thread yesterday) but...

I don't think people should automatically assume that the best / only sleeping arrangement (once you marry or move in with your SO) is in the same bed or even in the same room.

If you aren't getting quality sleep together and if there's room for you each to have your own space, sleeping apart can actually be beneficial!

This is my life!  When DS was just a baby he was colic and the only way I could get any rest is to let him sleep with me.  DH works 12 hour shifts and I was on maternity leave so I'd just take DS into the spare bedroom and we'd sleep there (he'd wake up every 2 hours like clockwork), that way DH got a decent sleep and didn't wake us up getting ready for work.  I eventually went back to work but we never changed sleeping arrangements...now with a new baby on the way I'm completely stressing out about what we'll do.

A girl I carpool with said "I would never choose my baby over my husband" and called me crazy for not sleeping in the same bed as my husband saying it would eventually cause marital issues.  I took it with a grain of salt, she doesn't have kids.

cindyNmark2010

StacyMarie33 said:

Maelara said:

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

THIS. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

Our house will be decorated with blood, skeletons, spiderwebs, pumpkins and more (DH loves Halloween too). Last year for Halloween DD was about 8 months old and I was hanging up a skeleton and she thought it was the most hilarious thing ever! She was laughing hysterically at all the Halloween decorations as I put them up! I am secretly hoping this LO comes early like DD did so we can have Halloween themed parties for him!

I love both too, but if you have Christmas stuff up and out before Halloween there is something seriously wrong with you....the "you" I'm referring to is the tenants that live downstairs from me.

I was leaving for work this morning and their door was open.......THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE IS UP, LIT AND FULLY DECORATED!!!!!!

Lilwatz

@cindyNmark2010 I got the williow tree nativity set over a few years from my mom for Christmases (piece by piece).  I would get so excited, but Christmas was over then, I just started leaving it up year round.  Yes, all my friends made fun of me.  No, I didn't care.  When I moved in with my husband I packed it up and now it only comes out for Christmas.  

soulcupcake

Lilwatz said:

@aeonlux I have a good friend who was in the situation of low risk, hospital birth, they found something that without a c section, if she had tried to push her baby out he would have bled out and died (I don't remember all the specifics but there were certain blood vessels that were in the wrong place and would rupture certainly fitting through the birth canal).  It happens.  Maybe not frequently, but it does--not just in movies.  

I never said it doesn't happen. Obviously there are those women who fall into the statistical group where a transfer is needed or advised. My midwife with my fourth baby had a homebirth client in the early stages of labor who needed an emergency c-section (stat c-section requiring general anesthesia). Her labor was progressing normally in the earlier stages, but my midwife noticed decelerations over a period of time that she was not comfortable with. Labor was spontaneous and there was no meddling in the process, so this was one of those more uncommon cases where something was not right even in this normal labor. Turned out baby was somehow compressing the cord and blocking sufficient blood flow. Cord compression can become a serious issue, hence the need for transfer and stat c-section.

In your friend's case, it sounds like something was missed or undiganosed until pretty late? It does happen, but then she she wasn't truly low risk. I know mamas who have been in those situations. Baby's heart rate drops very low and doesn't recover and needs a stat c-section only to discover baby had an unidagnosed heart defect that was put under more stress during labor. Or mom with undiganosed velamentous cord insertion and vesa previa that ends in intrapartum loss due to ruptured blood vessels. I also knew a mama in a support group who experienced maternal-fetal hemorrhage during her hospital birth, which is thankfully very rare. But these aren't low risk situations. They're undiagnosed high risk. 

And that applies to adverse outcomes or complications that arise outside the hospital. I know mamas that also planned and had their babies outside of the hospital with an undiagnosed condition. Had my first son not gone into congestive heart failure the month before I was due, he would have absolutely died at home, during or after birth. And it likely would have been blamed on the "homebirth gone wrong" until it was discovered he had undiagnosed heart defects despite having dual prenatal care and ultrasounds that said he was "fine."

I'm very familiar with "horror stories" or when things go really wrong and there is no healthy baby at the end of the journey, but I try to take it these situations, the complications, outcomes, into context and not paint childbirth as whole with such a broad brush. In most cases when the process isn't heavily or overly managed things go smoothly, statistically speaking. For those who desire a low or no intervention birth seeing planned med-free hospital births that don't go as "planned" can be very discouraging and give them the idea or impression that the naysayers were right all along. That birth plans or goals are silly and useless because "See, you ended up needing a c-section" when it's rarely ever that simple. 

mommymeg143

Autumnsnow said:

StacyMarie33 said:

Maelara said:

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

THIS. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

Our house will be decorated with blood, skeletons, spiderwebs, pumpkins and more (DH loves Halloween too). Last year for Halloween DD was about 8 months old and I was hanging up a skeleton and she thought it was the most hilarious thing ever! She was laughing hysterically at all the Halloween decorations as I put them up! I am secretly hoping this LO comes early like DD did so we can have Halloween themed parties for him!

Make that at least 3 of us.  When I lived at home (and my parents still do it) we have the graveyard on the lawn with the smoke machine.. Do the whole house up.  People bring their kids from other towns to our block cuz of our house and two others on the block. It's insane and I LOVE it.  Even had a Halloween themed wedding.  Here's my wedding cake...It's hard to see but it's a Nightmare Before Christmas topper/

Oh my gosh!! Can you please redo your wedding and invite me to it? That sounds and looks like the best thing ever!!!

fyreandblood

dmo1371 said:

I really, really dislike it when people say things like, "yeah, that's a man for ya" or other phrases that lump all men into crappy stereotypes/categories. Just because your dad/DH/SO/whatever sucks at helping with housework, cooking, spending too much money, getting drunk with his friends more often than he should, etc doesn't mean all men do those things. I don't like it when people associate bad habits or character flaws with "being a man." Not all men suck.

My feminism is on a crazy level and i totally agree (despite my apparent man hatred displayed on this board). I think saying "boys will be boys" or "it's a guy thing" or even "lol men" when discussing laziness, douchebaggery, etc excuses individuals. We should hold everyone accountable. Just because someone happens to have a penis and identifies as male (not everyone with penises identifies as male, which is important to note) doesnt mean they get a get out of jail free card when it comes to cleaning or idk being a good human or something.

Not all men are the same and should not be lumped together in anyway. I don't hate men, i hate a lot of stereotypical male behaviors (all of them, in fact) because i've seen them excused so much with these phrases. I think excusing those behaviors or not calling them out because lol it's a guy is not only unfair to women, but TOTALLY unfair to men. We're all people and our behavior/skillsets/etc are individual!

Bah sorry for the rant.

fyreandblood

lovebuggies1 said:

CatLady22 said:

I think it's silly that the moms in our neighborhood drive their kids to their bus stop and wait. The bus stop can be seen from your front door! There is no good reason for 6 minivans to be clogging the street.

I seriously thought that way until I kept seeing amber alerts about children who got taken from their bus stop. And I thought, where were their parents can they not see the bus stop? Yea my mom could never see ours, it was around the corner. But I totally get what you're saying.

This depresses the hell out of me, because when i was 10 and up, i was a latchkey kid who went to and from the bus stop that wasnt even in sight of my various houses every day, including after my single mom went to work. Makes me wonder how single moms/dads/guardians and full time working parents handle older children now, since we have to watch everything they do because of creeps. Plus parents who cant sit there with their kids will inevitably be punished for it. So ridiculous.

-_- we had kids taken from busstops when i was little, but we waited alone anyway. Sometimes there were crossing guards who watched us, sometimes not (i think crossing guards are essential near busstops anyway). Idk it's just depressing that the independence of our kids (so vital!) is compromised because of assholes.

JamieK1882

AnnieRoo13 said:

@Dumbgurl04 RE thank you notes: I think the older generation really appreciates it. I've never gotten a thank you note from a baby shower or any other celebration. But they'll be sure to thank everyone on a FB post or text. That might just be new generation thinking. But all of my elder family and friends of the family LOVE getting mail, especially for appreciation. I understand that, it's how they communicated all their lives.

To be honest I expect a thank you card too. I would be really surprised if I attended a shower or wedding and got a thank you over text or Facebook. I think a written thank you is really important. I took the time and money to buy you a gift, the least you can do is write a thank you card and stick a stamp on it.

Agree 100%. It might be old fashioned, but I like receiving a thank you.

soulcupcake

Men aren't all the same? Some men have feels? 

Autumnsnow

mommymeg143 said:

StacyMarie33 said:

Maelara said:

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

THIS. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

Our house will be decorated with blood, skeletons, spiderwebs, pumpkins and more (DH loves Halloween too). Last year for Halloween DD was about 8 months old and I was hanging up a skeleton and she thought it was the most hilarious thing ever! She was laughing hysterically at all the Halloween decorations as I put them up! I am secretly hoping this LO comes early like DD did so we can have Halloween themed parties for him!

Make that at least 3 of us.  When I lived at home (and my parents still do it) we have the graveyard on the lawn with the smoke machine.. Do the whole house up.  People bring their kids from other towns to our block cuz of our house and two others on the block. It's insane and I LOVE it.  Even had a Halloween themed wedding.  Here's my wedding cake...It's hard to see but it's a Nightmare Before Christmas topper/

Oh my gosh!! Can you please redo your wedding and invite me to it? That sounds and looks like the best thing ever!!!

@mommymeg if I could I would do it in a heartbeat...we had such a blast...and you would totally be invited lol  

fyreandblood

brichar31 said:

KUinCBUS said:

I'm totally late to the party and this is related to nothing else in the thread (though I did mention it in the randoms thread yesterday) but...

I don't think people should automatically assume that the best / only sleeping arrangement (once you marry or move in with your SO) is in the same bed or even in the same room.

If you aren't getting quality sleep together and if there's room for you each to have your own space, sleeping apart can actually be beneficial!

This is my life!  When DS was just a baby he was colic and the only way I could get any rest is to let him sleep with me.  DH works 12 hour shifts and I was on maternity leave so I'd just take DS into the spare bedroom and we'd sleep there (he'd wake up every 2 hours like clockwork), that way DH got a decent sleep and didn't wake us up getting ready for work.  I eventually went back to work but we never changed sleeping arrangements...now with a new baby on the way I'm completely stressing out about what we'll do.

A girl I carpool with said "I would never choose my baby over my husband" and called me crazy for not sleeping in the same bed as my husband saying it would eventually cause marital issues.  I took it with a grain of salt, she doesn't have kids.


Whoa, she told you not sleeping in the same bed would cause marital problems? So rude!! TONS of couples choose separate beds or even rooms and they're fine (my grandparents did, and i know tons of younger couples who do). Tbh it's the only way i would be able to live with someone!! I need mystery ad space and i'm asexual, so i'd rather just have my own room. I know a couple who rocks separate rooms and offices and they are fine. My aunt and uncle are another example. Lived separately for 15 years until they had kids, now they live in separate rooms instead of apartments! All of these couples are super happy. Shows how much that lady knows! Pfft

Plus you werent choosing anyone or even really choosing to live/sleep on your own. Your baby is helpless! Babies cant cure their own illnesses. Like wtf. Plus it's easier in your situation.

ETA: @KUinCBUS‌: i love that you share this view. My gran used to tell me that for her generation, separate beds were expected, which i kinda like? Everyone should have their own space if they want it!

kfo22

@venussapphire I worked at Starbucks for five years, and yes! That matcha powder was/is disgusting. Iced soy chais though? Yum.

@aeonlux Your UO #3.. yes! It's funny how so many don't realize the holidays they're celebrating have pagan foundations, and most of how they celebrate is based off of those. Therefore, the only holidays we celebrate are Thanksgiving and maybe 4th of July. Everyone thinks I'm a scrooge.

Also totally agree with your post about scary birth stories.

violetsmom22

Autumnsnow said:

mommymeg143 said:

StacyMarie33 said:

Maelara said:

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

THIS. I was beginning to think I was the only one!

Our house will be decorated with blood, skeletons, spiderwebs, pumpkins and more (DH loves Halloween too). Last year for Halloween DD was about 8 months old and I was hanging up a skeleton and she thought it was the most hilarious thing ever! She was laughing hysterically at all the Halloween decorations as I put them up! I am secretly hoping this LO comes early like DD did so we can have Halloween themed parties for him!

Make that at least 3 of us.  When I lived at home (and my parents still do it) we have the graveyard on the lawn with the smoke machine.. Do the whole house up.  People bring their kids from other towns to our block cuz of our house and two others on the block. It's insane and I LOVE it.  Even had a Halloween themed wedding.  Here's my wedding cake...It's hard to see but it's a Nightmare Before Christmas topper/

Oh my gosh!! Can you please redo your wedding and invite me to it? That sounds and looks like the best thing ever!!!

@mommymeg if I could I would do it in a heartbeat...we had such a blast...and you would totally be invited lol  

Me too, I'm coming! So glad we're labor buddies

edit: also add me to the list of Halloween lovers

Lilwatz

@KUinCBUS we have a king sized bed and do not sleep touching. If that did not work, I'd totally go for separate beds.  I cannot sleep touching people.

abbyful

Lilwatz said:

@KUinCBUS we have a king sized bed and do not sleep touching. If that did not work, I'd totally go for separate beds.  I cannot sleep touching people.

Ditto! I can cuddle before sleep, but when it's time to sleep I'm like "ok you go over there now!". I need my space to sleep, I don't like being touched. We have a king-sized bed, I feel so crowded when we go somewhere and have to sleep on anything smaller.

And my sister is the exact opposite, she sleeps almost on top of her husband.

Lilwatz

abbyful said:

@KUinCBUS we have a king sized bed and do not sleep touching. If that did not work, I'd totally go for separate beds.  I cannot sleep touching people.

Ditto! I can cuddle before sleep, but when it's time to sleep I'm like "ok you go over there now!". I need my space to sleep, I don't like being touched. We have a king-sized bed, I feel so crowded when we go somewhere and have to sleep on anything smaller. And my sister is the exact opposite, she sleeps almost on top of her husband.

Me too.  Sometimes I doze for a second while spooning and my husband is like, "YOU CAN TOTALLY SLEEP WITH ME TOUCHING YOU!" and I am all, for like five minutes...  

absolutelymaybe

 

Kllopez1221 said:

I have two..

One: inspired from the randoms thread. I love the smell of skunk.

*quote box clipped*

I thought I was the only one! 

Dumbgurl04

There are have been times when DH has slept in our guest room just because he was sick and didn't want me to catch it.  But he also has some back trouble so he will sleep in the other room so we both can stretch out more which helps ease the pain a bit

lovingaddi

@abbyful‌ @KUinCBUS‌ @Lilwatz‌ agree on the cuddling!

UO #1 is to agree with @Maelara‌ ...Halloween is one of my favorite holidays!

UO #2...I love doing the laundry. Love it. And I don't know why. Putting it away- totally different story!!

Maelara

I agree on not cuddling while sleeping. We also have a king sized bed and could NOT sleep in a queen even if we tried. We cannot be touch in the least bit. We are both this way, so that's good my husband does snore but I've gotten used to it or I can prompt him to move easily at night. I think if couples want separate rooms, go for it! Obviously the ones here don't have an issue with their sex lives

kimberly_ann81

DH can't sleep if I'm touching him.  He tends to get hot and sweat easily so my touching him while we sleep makes him hot.  I'm the same way though so the no touching while we sleep works for us.

NunyaBennis

absolutelymaybe said:

 

Kllopez1221 said:

I have two..

One: inspired from the randoms thread. I love the smell of skunk.

*quote box clipped*

I thought I was the only one! 


Not at all alone! I wouldn't chase one down to try to be sprayed, and smashed ones are rancid, but catch a whiff while driving? Ahhh, yeah. I breathe a little deeper.
I think that was actually one of my first UO posts... Mmm, skunk.

MrsC430

Ahh all of you skunk smell lovers are welcome over! Our dog got sprayed this morning! I've tried every damn "remedy" today - he still STINKS!

absolutelymaybe

For my skunk buddies @Kllopez1221 @NunyaBennis‌

MalachiteDrake

My husband and I have pretty much always slept in separate rooms if there was the option available. He gets super hot at night and it'll make both of us sweaty to share a bed. Also he finds beds uncomfortable and prefers a couch where he can lean against the back. He snores, too, which drives me up the wall when we travel and share a room.

Growing up, my mother slept in the same room as my father but in separate beds, and then after their divorce and her remarriage, she and my ex-step father had separate rooms. 

kikimeemee

I think it's VERY rude and completely inappropriate when a couple announces a baby is born and people ask "was it vaginal/regular birth or c-section?" Why the F is that a person's first question? Perhaps it's just go-to question that's become common but I think it's weird to ask if woman had baby thru her hoohah or not.

I need to think of an appropriate way to answer when asked.

wildflower75

Just now catching up on this thread... MH has serious insomnia and lots of times will go to the couch and try to sleep (and lately it's sometimes due to my snoring). Sleeping alone makes me sad and it's actually hard for me to sleep alone, I wake up in the middle of the night a lot looking for him. But TETO...

lisaren

My H and I don't sleep in same bed. He snores horribly. Like window shattering snoring. And if this girl doesn't get her sleep it's not a pretty sight.

NunyaBennis

kikimeemee said:

I think it's VERY rude and completely inappropriate when a couple announces a baby is born and people ask "was it vaginal/regular birth or c-section?" Why the F is that a person's first question? Perhaps it's just go-to question that's become common but I think it's weird to ask if woman had baby thru her hoohah or not.

I need to think of an appropriate way to answer when asked.

Tell them you gave birth to a god/dess and s/he simply sprung from your forehead.

snarkylibrarian

Maybe it's just the particular hospital I go to, but they are SUPER preachy about breastfeeding. They won't even let you have formula in the hospital. Everyone is encouraged to breastfeed. I plan on breastfeeding, so this isn't a conflict for me, but still I think women should have choices and not be made to feel guilty about those choices. Then when we had our breastfeeding class there, they didn't cover pumping and told us not to worry about it until 2 weeks before returning to work.

They have been a pain in the ass about when I've asked about obtaining a pump, asking why I need one before going back to work and that they told me that they don't want to "encourage" exclusive pumping, which is not what I want to do. FFS, I just want to be able to give my baby bottles occasionally so I can do things like go to the gym or have DH do a midnight feeding. I don't understand why they are acting like it's this all or nothing thing. That will only discourage moms from breastfeeding. Who cares if it's in a bottle or a breast? Seriously WTF. Moms should have choices and hospitals should be providing information rather than propaganda.

wildflower75

snarkylibrarian said:

Maybe it's just the particular hospital I go to, but they are SUPER preachy about breastfeeding. They won't even let you have formula in the hospital. Everyone is encouraged to breastfeed. I plan on breastfeeding, so this isn't a conflict for me, but still I think women should have choices and not be made to feel guilty about those choices. Then when we had our breastfeeding class there, they didn't cover pumping and told us not to worry about it until 2 weeks before returning to work.

They have been a pain in the ass about when I've asked about obtaining a pump, asking why I need one before going back to work and that they told me that they don't want to "encourage" exclusive pumping, which is not what I want to do. FFS, I just want to be able to give my baby bottles occasionally so I can do things like go to the gym or have DH do a midnight feeding. I don't understand why they are acting like it's this all or nothing thing. That will only discourage moms from breastfeeding. Who cares if it's in a bottle or a breast? Seriously WTF. Moms should have choices and hospitals should be providing information rather than propaganda.

That's just crazy! Plus also what if you want to build up an extra stash of milk to have long before you go to work?? That would frustrate me to no end! Can you get your pump from somewhere else?

snarkylibrarian

wildflower75 said:

Maybe it's just the particular hospital I go to, but they are SUPER preachy about breastfeeding. They won't even let you have formula in the hospital. Everyone is encouraged to breastfeed. I plan on breastfeeding, so this isn't a conflict for me, but still I think women should have choices and not be made to feel guilty about those choices. Then when we had our breastfeeding class there, they didn't cover pumping and told us not to worry about it until 2 weeks before returning to work.

They have been a pain in the ass about when I've asked about obtaining a pump, asking why I need one before going back to work and that they told me that they don't want to "encourage" exclusive pumping, which is not what I want to do. FFS, I just want to be able to give my baby bottles occasionally so I can do things like go to the gym or have DH do a midnight feeding. I don't understand why they are acting like it's this all or nothing thing. That will only discourage moms from breastfeeding. Who cares if it's in a bottle or a breast? Seriously WTF. Moms should have choices and hospitals should be providing information rather than propaganda.

That's just crazy! Plus also what if you want to build up an extra stash of milk to have long before you go to work?? That would frustrate me to no end! Can you get your pump from somewhere else?

It is making me furious. I am looking into other places. My insurance covers the pumps at my hospital at 80%, but there aren't any other Tier 1 pump providers that I know of. I may just do a manual pump for a while and then go in for an electric later. 

I asked both my breastfeeding instructor and a lactation consultant at the hospital about pumping to keep up a supply and store extra for work and they said that supply shouldn't ever really be an issue "every mother has enough milk for her baby" and they don't recommend storing more than a day or two worth. Umm, that's great, but I have heard from many mamas that supply ends up being a concern and who doesn't want to peace of mind that comes with having a good supply of bm before heading back to work? GRRRRR.