::UO::

wildflower75

Let's hear it!

wildflower75

In my opinion the news is too stressful and agitating to watch especially during pregnancy!

My husband and MIL were telling me that the news showed the NYPD pushing down a pregnant women the other day and practically threw her friend across the room (or hallway). WTAF??

Between crap like this, the war, and everything else... I just can't!

mommymeg143

wildflower75 said:

In my opinion the news is too stressful and agitating to watch especially during pregnancy!

My husband and MIL were telling me that the news showed the NYPD pushing down a pregnant women the other day and practically threw her friend across the room (or hallway). WTAF??

Between crap like this, the war, and everything else... I just can't!

+1 to THIS ^^^.

DH insists on us watching the Isis coverage. I know it's so important and want to be as educated as possible about it but holy crap. I have a little tiny baby in my stomach who is about to be born into this mean world and all the negative news stresses me out. I'm going to keep her in a bubble.

As a journalism major, this is a very big UO among my colleagues but I hate how sensationalistic the news has become. I know sensationalism "sells" stories but come on people. Let's calm it down a bit. Did we really need to see Adrian Peterson's son's wounds? That broke my heart. You have a little boy in superhero underwear being exposed to all the world just to prove his dad beat him. When he's twenty...those pictures will still be out there for anyone to see.

mussalynn

I hate Halloween.  There, I said it.  When I was in high school, a friend committed suicide on the morning of Halloween and ever since then it's been a sad day for me.  Obviously a very personal reason not to like it, and the whole world isn't going to stop Halloween because it gives me the feels, but people get really carried away with all the blood & guts costumes and the fake graveyards in their front yards, etc.  I love the cute little kids dressed up in cute little outfits though, don't get me wrong!

kimberly_ann81

@mussalynn

I don't like Halloween either but for me it's mostly the "horror" things.  Zombies, Vampires, blood, guts, gore, people dressed up with hatches, chainsaws, ect.  protruding from their bodies.  I don't mind the little kids dress-up in cute costumes it's all the other "dark, evil" things I hate and it seems to be more prevalent than the cute kids lately.

mockingjay1

I really, really dislike it when people say things like, "yeah, that's a man for ya" or other phrases that lump all men into crappy stereotypes/categories. Just because your dad/DH/SO/whatever sucks at helping with housework, cooking, spending too much money, getting drunk with his friends more often than he should, etc doesn't mean all men do those things. I don't like it when people associate bad habits or character flaws with "being a man." Not all men suck.

Lilwatz

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

uncharted01

lissydee said:

parents who do every little thing for their kids.  For example, I had a co-worker who I was waiting to get change of shift report on.  Yet she was too effing busy to give me a 5 min run down on each of my 3 mom-baby assignments (that I was taking from her) because she was writing her middle schooler's report for them.

Umm, what?!  How do you expect your kid to learn anything in life?  This is why people complain about kids these days, is because we have parents like you coddling them, day in and day out.  They're never going to learn how to be free thinking, intelligent, responsible and productive adults with you waiting on them hand and foot.

Not to mention, if you are going to do that, do it on your own fucking time.  Do not waste mine and certainly do not waste our employers time with that nonsense. 

I hate this too and granted I'm not a parent yet, but I just don't understand it. I have a coworker who will take off of work to drive her COLLEGE-AGED son to a doctor appointment for a sore throat. It completely blows my mind.

uncharted01

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

I have never heard of this! If someone left "to be" out of a sentence, I would probably look at them like they were crazy. "The floor needs sweeping" is an acceptable alternative. "The floor needs swept" sounds ridiculous.

JamieK1882

Ooh sad to hear people don't love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday!! My mom's water actually broke with me on a haunted hayride, so maybe that's why I love it so much!? lol

To go off the bus stop thing, I hate when I'm behind a bus and it stops at EACH. KIDS. INDIVIDUAL. HOUSE. What happened to a common bus stop?!

brichar31

uncharted01 said:

lissydee said:

parents who do every little thing for their kids.  For example, I had a co-worker who I was waiting to get change of shift report on.  Yet she was too effing busy to give me a 5 min run down on each of my 3 mom-baby assignments (that I was taking from her) because she was writing her middle schooler's report for them.

Umm, what?!  How do you expect your kid to learn anything in life?  This is why people complain about kids these days, is because we have parents like you coddling them, day in and day out.  They're never going to learn how to be free thinking, intelligent, responsible and productive adults with you waiting on them hand and foot.

Not to mention, if you are going to do that, do it on your own fucking time.  Do not waste mine and certainly do not waste our employers time with that nonsense. 

I hate this too and granted I'm not a parent yet, but I just don't understand it. I have a coworker who will take off of work to drive her COLLEGE-AGED son to a doctor appointment for a sore throat. It completely blows my mind.

When I moved in with DH (26 years old) he was still stopping at his parents house every morning on his way to work to pick up his lunch that his mom had packed for him, then stopping on his way home from work to drop off his lunchbox.  I think my mom stopped packing my lunch in middle school!! 

Edited - for clarification

Lilwatz

uncharted01 said:

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

I have never heard of this! If someone left "to be" out of a sentence, I would probably look at them like they were crazy. "The floor needs sweeping" is an acceptable alternative. "The floor needs swept" sounds ridiculous.

Hmm, needs sweeping is better....but I am still not on board.  

wildflower75

I have another one...
Birth stories... I know we all make our own decisions on the type of birth we want and the choices we make are our own but when you write your birth story on a forum like this then people might think "hey I should do that too" and that might not always be what is best for your health or the health of your baby. Like for instance someone with GBS not going to the hospital immediately when their water breaks and insisting on laboring for hours before trying what the doctors are recommending. That is not always the best choice. But I guess TETO.

Maybe I am just sensitive to this type of thing because of my past experience. And for the record I am not speaking about any birth stories on this month's board...

brichar31

Oh yeah my UO - I don't like big brother and never have, I think reality tv is scripted and fake.

wildflower75

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

WTF???? I would seriously say WAT???? If I heard someone speak like this!

cindyNmark2010

JamieK1882 said:

Ooh sad to hear people don't love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday!! My mom's water actually broke with me on a haunted hayride, so maybe that's why I love it so much!? lol

To go off the bus stop thing, I hate when I'm behind a bus and it stops at EACH. KIDS. INDIVIDUAL. HOUSE. What happened to a common bus stop?!

Depends on the state....I'm in NY, SS is special needs and the law requires that his bus drop him and pick him up at the door and that the matron has to get out of the bus to meet him.  There is no common stop for some kids.

My UO....(and I might catch hell for it) but after catching up with the random thread a little....I don't see anything wrong with having showers or sprinkles for second/third children.  Call me tacky but I've seen so many ladies on the Baby Shower Board get up in arms about "ettiquette" and how "showers are meant to welcome a woman into motherhood, and you can only do that ONCE".  I call BS.  Where I live, a shower is meant to welcome and celebrate the new life of a child and is always done before LO is born.  I'm one of 4....there was a shower for each of us.  My best friends are each one of three....showers for each of them and their siblings.  Mind you, the showers were not some giant "to do" in a hall or a sit down brunch/luncheon.  They're usually in the host's home, it's never gift grabby and always a lot of fun,  I just don't get what's so wrong about friends and family getting together to celebrate a baby? 

Curlyfries851

OMG I thought I was the only one who hated Halloween! My EDD is nov 1 and I SO don't wanna Halloween baby.

My UO has to do with a local issue. A teen was recently stabbed to death at school in the board I teach in. Obviously a very tragic event, and I understand the desire to try and find someone to blame, but local media is making it out to be the school board's fault and it's driving me crazy. This happened in a lower income neighbourhood, so I understand this perpetual cycle of poverty and subsequent violence that often follows...but really, when does some of the onus fall upon the parents? It is frustrating as a teacher because I feel like my job is already that of a teacher, guidance counsellor, patent, etc, and people and parents never give us credit for these multifaceted roles we happily take on....instead it is the fault of teachers and school boards for the shortcomings of this young generation, while parents get off scot free. Ok. End rant. Sorry ladies. LOL

abbyful

CatLady22 said:

I think it's silly that the moms in our neighborhood drive their kids to their bus stop and wait. The bus stop can be seen from your front door! There is no good reason for 6 minivans to be clogging the street.

Yes! And I live half a mile from the school, if you're driving your kid to the bus stop, why not just drive them to school? It's less than 5 minutes away!

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

I live in the Midwest (grew up in Kansas). These sound normal to me. I see how it's incorrect, but it's such common dialect here I don't notice, and I probably do it myself, too.

absolutelymaybe

@mommymeg143 - Howdy, fellow journalism major :-) Actually, I ended up not finishing mine (family issues and then offered a job...and then ended up getting out of the industry entirely). 

@mussalynn - I'm very sorry for your loss. It's completely understandable how Halloween would be a sad time of the year for you. 

@kimberly_ann81 - Funny, I miss the days when Halloween was full of scary things. Now it seems like a holiday for women to outslut each other. It's not a "Scary Man With A Chainsaw" is a "Sexy Chainsaw Maiden." Bah. 

@dmo1370 - Completely agree! You don't get a pass for acting like a jerk because you have a penis. 

kimberly_ann81

wildflower75 said:

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

WTF???? I would seriously say WAT???? If I heard someone speak like this!

My pastor will do this.  Drives me crazy as well but I'm a teacher and a bit of a stickler for good grammar.  My spelling stinks but grammar is a different story.

UO: I don't like slang or nicknames.  Both my boys are called by their complete first name and Evangeline will be called by her's.

Lilwatz

abbyful said:

--snipped--

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

I live in the Midwest (grew up in Kansas). These sound normal to me. I see how it's incorrect, but it's such common dialect here I don't notice, and I probably do it myself, too.

I was wondering where it was from.  I started hearing it only the last year or so in Maryland (I was there for 10 years) and I hear it a lot more in Florida.  Oh, originally from New Hampshire.  Where no one ever said that ever--at least to me.

kimberly_ann81

@absolutelymaybe

Do you live in a warm climate?  In Wisconsin it's often too cold to wear the slutty things for Halloween so I've found there are more scary things up here.

cindyNmark2010

@lovebuggies1 I did the book instead of a card for my sister's shower and everyone thought it was a great idea, and it was nice to have little notes for my niece in the books from family that is no longer with us.  I agree with the self addressing envelopes....for a bridal shower I hosted I did buy a new address book and asked the ladies to fill in their info for the bride to be.....but definitly wold not have them address an envelope to themselves.

Dumbgurl04

@dmo1371 totally agree!!!  Even goes for any group religious, gay, women, african americans etc.... not everyone in that group is like that.

 

I UO (probably will get heat for it) but Thank You cards after showers or even weddings.  Sure it's nice to thank someone for getting you something not against that but sometimes they just feel so fake to me.  You don't just want to be vague and say "Thanks for coming to _______, also Thanks for ________" It just sometimes is really hard to always write one in a decent amount of lengh while naming the specific gift they gave you and possibly how you plan to use it.  Sure I might be feeling this way because I just finished all my Thank You notes from shower but even when I get them from showers or weddings I have attended they seem weird to me.

mommymeg143

Re: Halloween. Halloween is one of my fave holidays but only because of candy, pumpkins, cute costumes, family time, trick or treating, and it's in my birth month. I don't like the blood and gore though. I also agree it's a time for girls to dress as complete sluts and get away with it. I was Miley Cyrus last year for my work party but wore tights so I wasn't too slutty. (See picture...I get really into it).

Re: Baby Showers: I've always thought that baby showers were to celebrate the baby not mom. It wasn't until I joined TB that I realized most people see them as welcoming the mom into motherhood. I say give them all showers, who doesn't love a good shower?? I mean, cheese balls , cake and punch. Yum!!

Re: thank you notes. Would it be bad if I have everyone write their own thank you note while at my shower? It could be a fun game! We could call it, "If I were Megan, this is what I would want her to say to me for my gift." Done & Done!!

Lilwatz

I have no problem with the addressing of envelopes.  I just don't care.  It's easy for me to do and saves the writing cramp from the guest of honor.  I don't give a gift to get a note, so whatever.

Also, the first 30,000 showers I went to were all thrown at my church and it was standard to do there, so maybe I am just used to it?

meeshybee

cindyNmark2010 said:

JamieK1882 said:

Ooh sad to hear people don't love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday!! My mom's water actually broke with me on a haunted hayride, so maybe that's why I love it so much!? lol

To go off the bus stop thing, I hate when I'm behind a bus and it stops at EACH. KIDS. INDIVIDUAL. HOUSE. What happened to a common bus stop?!

Depends on the state....I'm in NY, SS is special needs and the law requires that his bus drop him and pick him up at the door and that the matron has to get out of the bus to meet him.  There is no common stop for some kids.

My UO....(and I might catch hell for it) but after catching up with the random thread a little....I don't see anything wrong with having showers or sprinkles for second/third children.  Call me tacky but I've seen so many ladies on the Baby Shower Board get up in arms about "ettiquette" and how "showers are meant to welcome a woman into motherhood, and you can only do that ONCE".  I call BS.  Where I live, a shower is meant to welcome and celebrate the new life of a child and is always done before LO is born.  I'm one of 4....there was a shower for each of us.  My best friends are each one of three....showers for each of them and their siblings.  Mind you, the showers were not some giant "to do" in a hall or a sit down brunch/luncheon.  They're usually in the host's home, it's never gift grabby and always a lot of fun,  I just don't get what's so wrong about friends and family getting together to celebrate a baby? 

Same here. My son is special needs because of his ASD, so even though he is perfectly able to physically walk to/from a bus stop they are required to stop at our house and have an adult meet him. We kind of bent the rules last year because this far back in our neighborhood all the streets are dead ends so it's hard for the bus to turn around and I felt bad for the driver. I walked the kids down to the only street that's not a dead end, 3 streets up. Thankfully she felt bad for me this year so I don't have to walk all the way down there and then stand and wait for the bus. They get dropped at the end of the driveway.

I totally agree with the ridiculousness of driving your kid to the bus stop, though. Unless you are going to immediately leave for work or something, why not save the gas and walk if you need to be with them? A little exercise is not going to kill you. The only times I drove the kids to the bus stop was when the weather was bad.

wallygirl

lovebuggies1 said:

I think the new anti-smoking commercial about celebrities smoking are free advertisement for cigarette companies kind of defeats the purpose. They show those celebrities puffing away in the whole commercial, isn't that free advertisement?

DH just said the exact same thing last night! I was reading to DD and missed the commercial, so I still haven't seen it.

absolutelymaybe

@kimberly_ann81 - Not really. I live in Washington state and it definitely gets chilly at night around Oct. 31. I think most parties and such happen indoors though so it's not like people are going around on the street dressed like Naughty Nurses. At least not in the parts of town I frequent :-)

@cindynmark2010 - I can get behind that sentiment, sort of. I understand that showers have different meanings depending on where you live and what your group of friends is like. Second showers are common around here, but showers also seem to be a lot more like lower-key events held at someone's house. Truthfully, I don't care what people do, but online I err on the side of etiquette. And I do side eye people for whining about showers -- whether it is their first or their fifth. 

@lovebuggies1 - I don't hate the ideas of diaper raffles or book requests (as long as their optional and clearly stated as such), but receipt requests? Come on! That's basically saying "Sorry you spent time shopping for me, but you have awful taste and I'm probably going to want to return this." That would be awful! 

@dumbgurl04 - Lol! Yes! I find myself agreeing to this after writing I don't even want to know how many thank you cards and trying to find unique ways to phrase "Thank you for coming and thank you for the gift." 

Alid86

I also don't like Halloween at all...my sister passed away a few days before Halloween and I also dislike all the evil, ugly costumes/decorations. If I could skip it I would in a heartbeat.

wallygirl

Regarding thank you notes, I think PP are right that it is more of an older generation thing. After our wedding my MIL called me about not sending a thank you card. We received a gift from DH's great aunt or maybe even great great. It was hand delivered by another family member. The lady sending the gift wasn't even invited to the wedding. She was elderly and lived out of state so DH didn't add her to the list. In my defense I had written the card but didn't have her address and asked DH to get her address. In the meantime the aunt called my MIL to tell her she had never received a thank you card from me. I felt like I was a kid that got tattled on :-/

Edit: spelling

venussapphire

It is an UO considering how many I made while working at starbucks forever ago...

I think a soy green tea latte is so nasty. I think people who order it are trying to look cool and healthy. Yuck. 

mamatohne

I'll stick with a "party" ou. I hate buying cards and gift wrap for a gift. I love getting cards and giving them, they are so expensive by the time you have wrapped the gift you have spent 15 more dollars I would of rather spent on the gift! I always do. It sucks when they are not appreciated.

Maelara

I LOVE Halloween! It and Christmas are my favourite holidays! I love gore, candy, blood, zombies (oh how much I love zombies), cute kid costumes, the folk lore, everything!

NunyaBennis

Lilwatz said:

This may be regional, so I may be a big jerk.  But only recently did I start hearing people drop the verb "to be" and I hate it.  Examples: "The floor needs swept."  "This couch needs gone." "These clothes need washed."  What happened to "to be"????

I'm pretty sure this started in central Pennsylvania (or at least that's what we want our coworker, a heavy offender from Johnstown, to believe). :P

soulcupcake

@kimberly_ann81

My second daughter's name is Evangeline. I adore her and my other kids' names. Her siblings call her Evey, and I call her a combination of both. I decided on "Evey" while watching V for Vendetta, Natalie Portman's character. It's in my top 50 movies. I'm a movie whore.

I've only come across a few others who named their daughter Evangeline. I love that it's uncommon, and so classic and pretty. 

My UO:

1: I completely detest text speak and slang for any and all modes of communication. Even for convenience sake. I can't do it. I don't like "lol," either. I don't mind *some* like LMFAO because I'm fond of expletives in general, but don't care for, nor use shorthand or text speak. I also discourage my girls from it, too. And I'm a stickler for coherent grammar and spelling. I especially side-eye anyone with a college degree who displays godawful writing and critical thinking skills. I find myself dismayed and confuzzled by this very real problem.

2: I don't care for summer or hot weather. And humid weather... die. Spring is fine, but I'm completely done with summer after about a few weeks. I'm not a beachy person even though I claim San Diego as "home." I just can't get into most stuff associated with summer. I'm all about fall. It's my favorite time of the year. I get bored with summer almost as soon as it begins. Must be the introvert in me. I also don't mind a mild winter.

3. With the holiday season rolling around, I'm totally expecting to see asinine and inaccurate statuses and threads about non-Christians celebrating "Christian" holidays, and how it's blasphemous to do so. You (general) want to brush up on Church ecclesiology and the many "Pagan"  traditions, customs and practices adopted by the Church in order to make the transition from "old religions" easier on new coverts. Practically every major custom and practice associated with Dec 15th, Mithra's birthday, comes from much earlier traditions. I'm quite fond of festivities, and I'll take Yule along with Christmas. There's also a handful of winter holidays in the month of December. Christianity does not corner the market on December, and there's nothing wrong with saying "Happy Holidays."

4. People, including women, calling their vulva "vagina." A vulva is a vulva; it is the external genitalia. The vagina is the internal structure (e.g., birth canal). Anatomy 101.

5. Cutesy pet names for genitalia. No logic or rationale behind it. Call body parts by their proper names. Be straightforward and honest. 

OMFG Teach Your Kids...

marajay6

wildflower75 said:

I have another one...
Birth stories... I know we all make our own decisions on the type of birth we want and the choices we make are our own but when you write your birth story on a forum like this then people might think "hey I should do that too" and that might not always be what is best for your health or the health of your baby. Like for instance someone with GBS not going to the hospital immediately when their water breaks and insisting on laboring for hours before trying what the doctors are recommending. That is not always the best choice. But I guess TETO.

Maybe I am just sensitive to this type of thing because of my past experience. And for the record I am not speaking about any birth stories on this month's board...

I love reading all the birth stories on TB forums.  It helps me keep feel prepared for all the different scenarios that can come up.  Every birth is unique.  It is nice reading the birth stories where everything has gone to plan. But it is also helpful to read the birth stories where things don't go smoothly - like how a planned natural birth turns into a C-section. And most of the time the end is a happy, healthy baby.  I think it is great that so many women are willing to share their stories for everyone to read.  In my birth class one of the other couples described labor as a "black box" and reading others' stories has really helped me.  I encourage everyone on here to lurk on the other BMBs and check out birth stories. For the most part, I think we are all still smart enough to make the best decisions for ourselves (with the advice/input from our doctors).

AnnieRoo13

lovebuggies1 said:

@Dumbgurl04 RE thank you notes: I think the older generation really appreciates it. I've never gotten a thank you note from a baby shower or any other celebration. But they'll be sure to thank everyone on a FB post or text. That might just be new generation thinking. But all of my elder family and friends of the family LOVE getting mail, especially for appreciation. I understand that, it's how they communicated all their lives.

To be honest I expect a thank you card too. I would be really surprised if I attended a shower or wedding and got a thank you over text or Facebook. I think a written thank you is really important. I took the time and money to buy you a gift, the least you can do is write a thank you card and stick a stamp on it.

AnnieRoo13

@kimberly_ann81‌ I love nicknames! DH and I never call each other by our first names. We have loads or nicknames for each other! We also never call the dog or cat by their "real" names- they get called by nicknames too. I was just saying to DH that I wonder what we'll call the LO when he's here, because it won't be William unless he's in trouble!

wildflower75

sj+cm131 said:

wildflower75 said:

I have another one...
Birth stories... I know we all make our own decisions on the type of birth we want and the choices we make are our own but when you write your birth story on a forum like this then people might think "hey I should do that too" and that might not always be what is best for your health or the health of your baby. Like for instance someone with GBS not going to the hospital immediately when their water breaks and insisting on laboring for hours before trying what the doctors are recommending. That is not always the best choice. But I guess TETO.

Maybe I am just sensitive to this type of thing because of my past experience. And for the record I am not speaking about any birth stories on this month's board...

I love reading all the birth stories on TB forums.  It helps me keep feel prepared for all the different scenarios that can come up.  Every birth is unique.  It is nice reading the birth stories where everything has gone to plan. But it is also helpful to read the birth stories where things don't go smoothly - like how a planned natural birth turns into a C-section. And most of the time the end is a happy, healthy baby.  I think it is great that so many women are willing to share their stories for everyone to read.  In my birth class one of the other couples described labor as a "black box" and reading others' stories has really helped me.  I encourage everyone on here to lurk on the other BMBs and check out birth stories. For the most part, I think we are all still smart enough to make the best decisions for ourselves (with the advice/input from our doctors).

I'm not saying I don't like birth stories. I Love Birth Stories. What I am saying is I don't like the ones where the person is going against medical advice. Doing so, does not always end in a healthy or happy delivery so it sends the wrong message is all I'm saying.

soulcupcake

sj+cm131 said:

wildflower75 said:

I have another one...
Birth stories... I know we all make our own decisions on the type of birth we want and the choices we make are our own but when you write your birth story on a forum like this then people might think "hey I should do that too" and that might not always be what is best for your health or the health of your baby. Like for instance someone with GBS not going to the hospital immediately when their water breaks and insisting on laboring for hours before trying what the doctors are recommending. That is not always the best choice. But I guess TETO.

Maybe I am just sensitive to this type of thing because of my past experience. And for the record I am not speaking about any birth stories on this month's board...

I love reading all the birth stories on TB forums.  It helps me keep feel prepared for all the different scenarios that can come up.  Every birth is unique.  It is nice reading the birth stories where everything has gone to plan. But it is also helpful to read the birth stories where things don't go smoothly - like how a planned natural birth turns into a C-section. And most of the time the end is a happy, healthy baby.  I think it is great that so many women are willing to share their stories for everyone to read.  In my birth class one of the other couples described labor as a "black box" and reading others' stories has really helped me.  I encourage everyone on here to lurk on the other BMBs and check out birth stories. For the most part, I think we are all still smart enough to make the best decisions for ourselves (with the advice/input from our doctors).

One of the major things about this is that it often reinforces and perpetuates certain ideas about childbirth that aren't exactly reflective of normal, physiological birth. The vast majority of birth stories I come across where the mom planned for a med-free birth and things went awry involve interventions, and unnecessary ones. And no doubt when it is known the mom was planning a med-free birth and she ends up with a lot of interventions or a c-section, there's that smug "See, birth doesn't always go your way" attitude or thought. And for those who are married to their cognitive biases they're not going to think "Hmm. Perhaps the reason for the outcome was due to X, Y and Z" and is not a reflection on low risk childbirth as a whole. 

This is seen in non-emergent transfer for out-of-hospital births, which is pretty low. The vast majority being non-emergent. Transfer rate for my midwife with my #3, 4 and this baby is around 8%, and the reason for transfer is usually a very long labor or second stage where mom has had little sleep, is exhausted, and needs pain medication. 

Emergent transfers account for 2%. The birth center I was trying to be seen at has never had a mom that required an emergent transfer. Contrast that to low risk births where the outcome is a c-section. In virtually all cases AROM, cytotec, pitocin, cervidil, CEFM, lack of ambulation, birthing in the lithotomy, and other interventions are part of the picture. That mom who wanted a med-free birth ends up getting pressured into having her membranes ruptured, which doesn't benefit her or the baby. There's no medical reason to rupture membranes in a low risk pregnant woman, but when you read birth stories, you'll definitely see it done a lot. Like a lot, a lot. It has serious drawbacks and risks.

I absolutely avoid relying on hospital births for an accurate or even slightly accurate picture of "shit that can happen unexpectedly in birth" because rarely do complications happen unexpectedly and without cause or reason in hospital births. In out-of-hospital births that are low/no intervention, sure. As a rule there is a "Don't meddle in the process. Don't manage. Observe and only intervene when absolutely necessary." So when something does happen, it wasn't due to over or mismanagement of the labor process. That is very much not the case in the vast majority of hospital births, even L&D units that are more "progressive" and side with evidence-based practice. 

I was very fortunate to have a great med-free hospital birth with my second daughter. It was great for what it was. I had a supportive nursing staff and a NCB/med-free friendly midwife on call. But, due to the environment and what is routine practice, I was still advised and had my membranes ruptured, which was unnecessary. And when I wasn't in labor at 7 cm the midwife strongly encouraged pitocin, which I declined. I mean, really. It wasn't like I had been there very long, and she was perfectly fine and I was perfectly fine. It was just a waiting game, and many providers hate waiting around longer than they feel they need or have to.

To the midwife, who answered to the on call OB, operated based on their routine and schedule. I wasn't in labor when I should have been, so that meant pitocin was needed. But it wasn't needed. It was just part of their routine practice. In an out-of-hospital birth there would have been no talk or urgency to get things going so soon. It would have just been a situation of "wait and see." Labor eventually started, but another mom might have given in to the suggestion for pitocin, and statistically it isn't benign, and I've had fast and easy pitocin births. The majority don't.

I totally get being interested and curious about other people's birth stories, but for those who favor evidence-based practice and low intervention care, it's wise to be aware that the majority of horror or not so great stories are not reflective of childbirth as whole. So often those of us planning out-of-hospital births are lectured on how birth can go awry "just like that" or how risky it can be, and claiming that's why out-of-hospital births are extremely dangerous. :eyeroll: Statistically speaking, childbirth rarely goes awry in the way people think. There are true obstetric emergencies that can and do occur, but it's rare in low risk pregnant women in an otherwise normal, undisturbed labor. Risks of severe complications can be higher in women who already present with high risk conditions. But the whole "mom or baby will die in five minutes!" is for the movies.