How much to explain to toddler (divorce - not mine)

kmm2150 · September 2014

Close relatives that we see a lot are getting divorced and I'm wondering what if anything to say to DD (2 years 8 months). She is very used to seeing them together and I know when we see one, she'll ask about the other. I am also anticipating seeing one of them much, much less because she's planning to move and I'm not sure how to explain that, if at all.

DD is pretty verbal and really listens to our conversations and just seems to pick up on tensions and emotions a lot. I don't want to create unnecessary lies and stories but don't want to upset her or plant the idea that people could leave, stop living each other, etc.

Unknown · September 2014

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stally11 · September 2014

I dealt with this a few years ago with my nephew. I was with someone for many years. At the time my nephew was 3 he asked a few questions as to where R was, we just said he's no coming over etc.. At that age it didn't take long for him to forget it was more painful for me for him to ask than it was for him. He stopped asking and is now 17 (man I feel old!) and doesn't have any memory of previous boyfriend at all.

kmm2150 · September 2014

stally11 said:
I dealt with this a few years ago with my nephew. I was with someone for many years. At the time my nephew was 3 he asked a few questions as to where R was, we just said he's no coming over etc.. At that age it didn't take long for him to forget it was more painful for me for him to ask than it was for him. He stopped asking and is now 17 (man I feel old!) and doesn't have any memory of previous boyfriend at all.

This is kind of what I'm imagining, just saying she's not here and soon it'll seem normal. We do go to their house often, so that will be tough - whether to say she doesn't live here now. Thanks everybody!

SJandVA · October 2014

My brother got divorced when my daughter was about that age. She's now 6 1/2 and has no memory of him ever being married.
I don't remember it really being an issue. If we went to their house and she asked we just said she wasn't home. But that happened like once.
But every situation is different. I would do what PP have mentioned.

HookBringsYouBack · October 2014

I would just say something similar to what others have shared. "Sometimes people don't want to live together anymore, but they are still a mommy and a daddy and love their children." I have no idea how much it helped my daughter but that is what I said to her all the time. I like to think it worked. She had a hard time at first but now she really seems to deal very well with all of it.

Mags748 · October 2014

I agree with just saying as little as possible that will satisfy her. If you say that they don't live together anymore and she just blows it off as no big deal, just go with it. At that age, in a year or two shew won't even remember the ex in-law if they aren't in the picture.