My Doula Oblongata

misshosejockey

I am a FTM and have already been asked what type of birthing plan I would like to use.  First off, I don't freaking know... I'm still trying to cope with this idea that a baby will be making its debut from my Molly.  One of my girlfriends has decided she is going to do a Bradly birth.  Her husband was deployed and she didn't want to go it alone so she hired a Doula to assist during the labor and delivery.  Just curious if anyone else has used a Doula and what your experience was like?  

 

I like the idea of someone there to calm me (I am a controlling, type A personality) and help me relax and make the birth much more calm.  However, I tend to feel a need to entertain people when they are around me and I don't want to feel that way while I wait for the baby to come.  Thanks for sharing your experiences in advanced.

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Whitfry

Whats a Molly? I'm really hoping it's not a "cute" term for vagina.

I'm not using a doula. My birth plan is to go with the flow, since I have no way of predicting what will happen and I will need to be flexible. That's pretty much it.

mrskelly731

Agree with Whitfry on everything.  Molly? 

Not using a doula either - very go with the flow.  What happens, happens.  With DD I curled up in the fetal position and found my 'happy place'  until it was time to push.

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CoozieInMyPurse

Alright, I took one for the team... Per Urban Dictionary, yes, Molly is a slang term for vagina. I suggest we never think of it again.

But fabulous thread title.

myjessesgirl

I don't plan on using a doula, but both my SIL and a friend of mine (who just delivered her first yesterday!) both used a doula and really appreciated the support and advice. She was someone they both knew pretty well and could confide in and trust. It was helpful for them to be able to call her before the doctor when deciding if and when to go to the hospital. She also helped them stick to their plans because both of them wanted to avoid epidurals. I am a nurse myself, so I don't really see the need for someone to act as a go-between. (Plus, I'm all for epidurals!)

misshosejockey

HAHA, sorry for all the Molly confusion.  Yes I have always called my vagina Molly.  I woudn't quite call it a cute name for it, but it is a name I use instead of Vagina. When I hear the word Vagina for some reason I always think of this little guy saying it.

suzyq0525

My SIL is a doula and keeps asking if she can attend my birth. Jury is still out on that one.

lynndavid6912

I hired a doula for DD's birth for a couple reasons. 1) I wanted someone in the hospital that I hired and for whom I was their first priority, not some crazy hospital policy or a nurse that was in and out with a million other laboring women. 2) I'm generally distrustful of doctors and hospitals in my area and 3) I knew both DH and I would be extremely anxious and not really have any idea what was going on. The doula was fantastic... She could read the machines, let me know when contractions were coming, and "translate" between the nurses and I. Also, took a ton of pressure off DH. He was nervous about the idea, but was so thankful she was there. Plus my L&D was so fast, she knocked $100 off the charge.

Whitfry

Maybe you should call it phtephanie.

Ugh, somebody stop me from the meme jokes.

I did want to add that, like @ToasterCat‌ , my mom will be present to advocate for me and help out. She's a midwife and has privileges at the hospital where I'll be delivering. So I'm hoping to focus while she is in the background making sure people are doing their jobs.

thejucheidea

One of our best friends is my doula. My husband is the person I love the most in this world, but he's uncomfortable when it comes to emotions. My doula, on the other hand, deals with all emotions amazingly deftly and will be a fabulous support person for when my husband goes into lockdown.

JCWhitey

With DS I hired a doula, but like my doctor she was on vacation when I went into labor.  My mom really stepped it up and was my rock star.  I am so happy I had her there because DH, despite being well "trained" ended up being pretty worthless in labor and I actually kicked him out of the room while I was laboring in the tub because he kept trying to talk to me.  So I do think it's important to have a good, experienced labor partner on your side, whoever that may be!

Also, according to my nurse, I am the most hilarious laboring mother she has ever encountered.  I have no recollection of what I said/did that was so funny, but like you I have a need to entertain people and I guess I was doing it despite not really trying/meaning to.  I did have a really funny birth plan that basically promised cupcakes and beer for putting up with me, so I'm guessing she was just expecting me to be funny and found my humor.  Who knows.

jpavenski

My DH is my rock, he is all that I needed in labor. my first labor was fast & I literally stood on my tippy toes clutching the bedpost for two hours before pushing. I don't think a doula would have helped in my situation. I envy all of you with cool helpful moms, mine stresses me out. She literally came in just when my contractions got real bad said the last thing I wanted to hear & got kicked out immediately!

colleen4019

jpavenski said:

My DH is my rock, he is all that I needed in labor. my first labor was fast & I literally stood on my tippy toes clutching the bedpost for two hours before pushing. I don't think a doula would have helped in my situation. I envy all of you with cool helpful moms, mine stresses me out. She literally came in just when my contractions got real bad said the last thing I wanted to hear & got kicked out immediately!

Dying to know what she said...