Getting Cold Feet

Hollowvic

As soon as AF arrives I start BC, AF is due any day now. I picked up the BC from the pharmacy today and the reality set in. I'm so nervous about doing IVF. I'm terrified of needles, let alone having to give them to myself. Then the ER, then the ET, it's all so much to take in. I'm stressed that we are basically depleting our savings, no house for us like we planned. Then the biggest stress of all, what if it doesn't work? I was optimistic until I went to my OBGYN today for my annual pap, which needed to be done before starting IVF. He said, have you thought about adoption or donor sperm? He just kinda made me feel like he doesn't have much hope. Suddenly, I'm anxious over all of this. I think I need a glass of wine tonight, or two.

tweetyknicks

I have many of the same worries you do. Here's how I try to alleviate them:

Doc's comment. I'm guessing the doc picked up on your nerves and wants to give you other options so you don't feel like you *have* to do IVF. Did your RE give you a probability of success?

What if it doesn't work? Pay more now and do the multi-cycle plan. If it doesn't work in 2 fresh and 2 frozen cycles, there's something else going on and we'll have to evaluate what to do next.

Depleting savings. It's a judgement call. Realistically, adoption would cost about as much, from what I've read. I don't think my DH is ready to accept donor sperm. We're using all of our savings (minus retirement) and maxing out our HELOC to pay for IVF. We agreed that we're going to cut costs wherever we can to pay it back. We may also take on part-time teaching gigs in the spring or look for other part-time income opportunties to make a little extra money to help pay it off. We are lucky in that my DH (being older) already paid off his house.

Anxiety about the cycle itself. Take a deep breath. The stomach injections aren't bad at all. I barely felt them. I have not yet done an IM injection for this. Can you have DH or a friend help you with the injections? The best I can offer for anxiety about cycling itself is focus on the goal.

Wine. Personally, I'd go for a good, hard bike ride (or whatever your exercise of choice is), indulge in an excellent meal, and then have a glass or two of wine.

Kcheese

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you as I'm not where you are quite yet, but if it makes you feel any better I think I'm going to feel exactly the same way.  Do I want to do IVF?  Yes absolutely.  But once it's for real & I'm actually starting the process I'm going to freak the fuck out!  All I got is enjoy the wine (while you can), take it one day at a time, & keep your goal in mind.  Wishing you the best!

dancerspose

I'm so sorry for all the anxiety.  Your OB sounds like a bit of prick, though.  (Sorry for my crudeness, I should warn that I'm several glasses of wine in right now).  I've been having similar conversations with my DH recently about what we should spend.  Since nothing is a guarantee it's a tough pill to swallow.

I have no real words of wisdom, just wanted to empathize ((HUGS))

tweetyknicks

About the needles again... Someone on the IF board can sympathize.

lebradford

((hugs)) I feel the same way about IVF.

AngM123

I totally relate 1000%. It sucks. Hugs.

BunnyBerry

Why would they ask you if you're thinking about adoption or donor sperm when you're starting your IVF cycle? Does any ask, Are you thinking about IUI or IVF when they let doctor know they're starting TTC???

All those difficult step for an IVF cycle seem so overwhelming when taken all together. Try to take it one day at a time - I know you're strong and you can totally give yourself a shot (sure, there are a lot of them, but just one at a time!), and totally rock that ER!! By the time you get to ET, I think you'll be so excited to be a mom to a cute little blast or two, you'll be thrilled it finally ET day.

CarSaidYes

Have your wine and know that hour OB is just that and OBGYN. Trust your RE and your gut instinct. Never second guess yourself. And you have all of use to come to at any point in your journey.

Hollowvic

I had two glasses of wine last night and passed out lol. I always loved my OB, but yesterday he kind of came across as a jerk! Then again this is the same guy that told me back in March to give it a few more months when I went to him with concerns of not getting pregnant. Glad I didn't listen to him, geez. Seriously, don't people realize that adoption is just as expensive as IVF? I agree, why bring that up to someone who is about to start IVF? I can always count on you ladies to lift my spirits, thank you.

emmuffy

I closed my eyes during the needles and it wasn't too bad. I don't have too much to add to the good advice by PP. What I will say is that having done IVF, I don't regret it. I would have regretted NOT doing it and always would have wondered if I missed out on my "shot" to get pregnant. I'm not going to lie, IVF is a roller coaster. But I think you should go for it. You've got a lot of support from the women here cheering you on. Good luck.

Hollowvic

I agree, I would regret not doing IVF. If it doesn't work at least I know I did everything I possibly could.