:::UO:::

AmandaJean12

The closer I get to having this LO, the less patience I have for bratty kids and crappy parenting. I know as a FTM I shouldn't get to judge other parents until I've been there, and I'm probably in for a rude awakening, but what is it with this whole "we don't say no, we only redirect" thing? I've been told this by two different couples in the last few weeks as their kids make everyone else insane.

If thinking this is ridiculous is the UO I've been made to feel like it is lately,
I'm totally ok with being unpopular.

trisharenee0316

AmandaJean12 said:

The closer I get to having this LO, the less patience I have for bratty kids and crappy parenting. I know as a FTM I shouldn't get to judge other parents until I've been there, and I'm probably in for a rude awakening, but what is it with this whole "we don't say no, we only redirect" thing? I've been told this by two different couples in the last few weeks as their kids make everyone else insane. If thinking this is ridiculous is the UO I've been made to feel like it is lately, I'm totally ok with being unpopular.

I just watched an old Modern Family episode about this the other day.  Mitchell and Cam were into redirecting Lily instead of telling her no.  Naturally, hijinks ensued.

[Deleted User]

Maybe I have a real UO? I believe in spanking. I'm not talking Adrian Peterson-style beating, but bottom spanking. My siblings and I were all spanked. Pants-down, over-Dad's-knee spanked if we were out of control.

We all survived just fine and are normal(ish), nonviolent adults. And when we were kids, you better believe we listened to our parents! We were pretty well-behaved. I think a lot of kids who are little monsters these days deserve a good spanking!

golfingdarwinfish

sarahmr416 said:

UO: Schools need to go back to teaching vocational ed.  The push for everyone to go to college is failing students and thereby failing society.  Not everyone needs or wants to go to college.  Certainly expressing that everyone should go to college *if they desire* is helpful, but I think it's doing schools and kids a great disservice to make the entire high school curriculum college preparatory in nature.  Then you end up with kids who either drop out of high school because they're truly not interested in anything they're learning, or ones who sort of follow along with the plan, go to college and take out student loans, and then realize that all along they wanted to do something else that didn't require a degree at all and then they have needless debt.

I agree. There are a lot of jobs in my area that don't require 4 yr degrees. You can be perfectly happy and make a good living with 2 yrs or less of training. And those are jobs that are needed too. Not everyone can be a doctor, lawyer, etc. We need welders, factory workers, etc too.

Agree with both of you.  

Raesofsunshine1

I don't like Krispy Kreme donuts. Or Dunkin Donuts.

I may be somewhat of a donut snob but I think the glaze on the donuts from these places tastes fake and leaves a weird coating in my mouth.

I really only like donuts from a mom and pop grocery store back where I grew up or homemade. So I don't donuts that often even though I love them.

Raesofsunshine1

Double post. Sorry.

wildflower75

deezidee04 said:

Maybe I have a real UO? I believe in spanking. I'm not talking Adrian Peterson-style beating, but bottom spanking. My siblings and I were all spanked. Pants-down, over-Dad's-knee spanked if we were out of control. We all survived just fine and are normal(ish), nonviolent adults. And when we were kids, you better believe we listened to our parents! We were pretty well-behaved. I think a lot of kids who are little monsters these days deserve a good spanking!

***STUCK IN THE BOX***

I Agree!!

jlz32185

sarahmr416 said:

trisharenee0316 said:

UO: Schools need to go back to teaching vocational ed.  The push for everyone to go to college is failing students and thereby failing society.  Not everyone needs or wants to go to college.  Certainly expressing that everyone should go to college *if they desire* is helpful, but I think it's doing schools and kids a great disservice to make the entire high school curriculum college preparatory in nature.  Then you end up with kids who either drop out of high school because they're truly not interested in anything they're learning, or ones who sort of follow along with the plan, go to college and take out student loans, and then realize that all along they wanted to do something else that didn't require a degree at all and then they have needless debt.

I agree. There are a lot of jobs in my area that don't require 4 yr degrees. You can be perfectly happy and make a good living with 2 yrs or less of training. And those are jobs that are needed too. Not everyone can be a doctor, lawyer, etc. We need welders, factory workers, etc too.

I agree with all of this so much! I went to a very high achieving high school. It was assumed that everyone would move on to a 4 year university after graduation. I followed the "typical" plan and went to an expensive collage for one year and hated it! My second year I transferred to community college, got an associates degree and have been working a stable full time health care job since I was 20.

My sister also went to a 4 year university and took 5 years to get her degree. The job market is so over saturated that she can't find a job making more than $10/ hr. She has crazy student loans and is 26 and stuck at home with my parents. Most of her friends are in a similar situation.

The whole education system seems like a scam to me. It's so upsetting that 18 year olds can get themselves in huge debt and possible not even get a well paying job to pay off that debt.

caranichole

I agree on spanking however DH and I are both in agreement that spanking should never come out of anger, frustration, fear. It's also not always necessary. We also are all for alternatives like time outs/confiscating privileges.

SusieBW

TicketTuesday said:

SusieBW said:

I do not think Benedict Cumberbatch is attractive.  At all.

I think it's by far that voice of his.  I think anyone that can read an R. Kelly song the way he does makes the world just a little bit happier! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNPp74zh8lM

I think he's got a really strange face, not at all classically good-looking (he even makes fun of his own looks) BUT I do think his acting and mannerisms/voice make him attractive (to me). But at first glance I think he is super odd looking. After watching Sherlock though, I think he's attractive as a package. My UO is I don't think Channing Tatum is attractive... But I also think he's a terrible actor. Clearly just looks don't do it for me.

When we first looked at DD's old daycare, and told the director her name was Tatum, she assumed that somehow I had named my daughter for Channing Tatum.  I threw up in my mouth a little bit.  Don't get me wrong, Magic Mike was sort of hot, but it's because all those dudes were half naked and he can move.  He's a terrible actor, and I think he's good looking, but I don't understand the crazy swooning over him.

SusieBW

To me, spanking is just another form of hitting, and I would be a hypocrite to do it.  I'm over here trying to teach my kid not to hit anyone, ever, and then I turn around and do it to her when she's in trouble?  Nope.  Doesn't make sense to me.  I've found other ways to punish/discipline her.

AmandaJean12

My sister and I were both spanked once, and we both remember it vividly.
Given that I was doing something that could have gotten me killed and it worked to put the adequate fear in me,
I won't say it never has its place.

But if you spank all the time I think all it teaches kids is violence. There are better consequences to use than physical pain.

GretchenWeiners7

deezidee04 said:

I also prefer dogs to cats. My UO though is that I prefer small dogs to big dogs. Big dogs are a lot more work, dirtier, and smell worse. Plus, little dogs are just so cuuuuute! I should add that I do not dislike big dogs at ALL. I love them too. I just love dogs in general! They are amazing animals. I often don't think humans are worthy of their unconditional love and loyalty. :o3

I agree with your first sentence, but after that it's definitely a UO to me! I have 2 big pups (huskies) and while they might get dirtier occasionally, I think they're way less work than a small dog. I never have to get them groomed or anything like that. And I have a terrible taste in my mouth about a lot of small dog owners from past experiences. Lots of times people automatically assume that my dogs are going to attack their small dog and make rude comments and there is nothing in the world that makes me angrier! A woman at our old house used to "walk" her little dog with no leash, and it came sprinting up to my (leashed) dogs in our own driveway. Both of them immediately sat and let the little dog jump all over them and this woman ran over and scooped up her little rat (it genuinely looked like a large rodent) and was all "OMG baby are you okay!! Did those mean dogs hurt you?!" and then looks at me and says "You need to be more responsible. Wolf dogs...hmf." Uhh...what?

Sorry that turned into a rant- but small dogs (or maybe it's their owners) make me nervous and I far prefer large ones! The bigger the better

ETA: I agree with your last 3 sentences too. Dogs are the bomb.com and I love them soo much. I would totally save a little dog, but I would just prefer one that is larger than my own foot.

slsl509

 deezidee04 said:

Maybe I have a real UO? I believe in spanking. I'm not talking Adrian Peterson-style beating, but bottom spanking. My siblings and I were all spanked. Pants-down, over-Dad's-knee spanked if we were out of control. We all survived just fine and are normal(ish), nonviolent adults. And when we were kids, you better believe we listened to our parents! We were pretty well-behaved. I think a lot of kids who are little monsters these days deserve a good spanking!

I think it's ok to smack your spouse (as long as it's not hard and is with an open hand) if they are being a huge jerk. DH and I do this from time to time and our relationship is very well-adjusted.

I used to be a paraprofessional for a kid with mental retardation. He was 13 but had the mental capacity of a todder.  He was SO naughty sometimes no matter what I said. I spanked him (again open hand of course, only on the butt).

so I agree!

No wait. I don't. Neither of those things are remotely true. Because when you put it like that, it just sounds...wrong, doesn't it?

 

[Deleted User]

Nicb13 said:

deezidee04 said:

Maybe I have a real UO? I believe in spanking. I'm not talking Adrian Peterson-style beating, but bottom spanking. My siblings and I were all spanked. Pants-down, over-Dad's-knee spanked if we were out of control.

We all survived just fine and are normal(ish), nonviolent adults. And when we were kids, you better believe we listened to our parents! We were pretty well-behaved. I think a lot of kids who are little monsters these days deserve a good spanking!

Of course, you have to go and pick a super controversial topic!

I think you are dead wrong but whatever, to each their own right?! 

Hitting is hitting, period. And when parents spank, it's because they've lost their cool with their child and that's never a good reason. Parents that spank want their kids to behave out of fear and I don't believe in that at all. I could never look at my child then grab them and hit (sorry, "spank") them. That is awful.

 

--------ETA: quote fail!--------

While this can be the case, I think it's also a generalization that isn't necessarily true. My mom was a SAHM and not really a disciplinarian, so if ever us kids were really sassy she would tell us, "Wait til your Dad gets home!" Oh man. If that wasn't enough to scare us into good behavior, then we got it from my dad when he got home. He didn't lose his cool with us, he was just doling out the punishment.

I do agree with you about it coming from conditioning kids to behave well out of fear. In talking with my parents now as an adult on the topic, they've pretty much said so. I can't deny that it worked, though! At least on us. And although I hated it as a kid, I'm not emotionally scarred from spanking and I have a really close relationship with my parents. DH & I hang out with them all the time, like really good friends. But when I was a kid, they were not my friends. They were my parents.

[Deleted User]

slsl509 said:

 deezidee04 said:

Maybe I have a real UO? I believe in spanking. I'm not talking Adrian Peterson-style beating, but bottom spanking. My siblings and I were all spanked. Pants-down, over-Dad's-knee spanked if we were out of control. We all survived just fine and are normal(ish), nonviolent adults. And when we were kids, you better believe we listened to our parents! We were pretty well-behaved. I think a lot of kids who are little monsters these days deserve a good spanking!

I think it's ok to smack your spouse (as long as it's not hard and is with an open hand) if they are being a huge jerk. DH and I do this from time to time and our relationship is very well-adjusted.

I used to be a paraprofessional for a kid with mental retardation. He was 13 but had the mental capacity of a todder.  He was SO naughty sometimes no matter what I said. I spanked him (again open hand of course, only on the butt).

so I agree!

No wait. I don't. Neither of those things are remotely true. Because when you put it like that, it just sounds...wrong, doesn't it?

 

For a minute I was reading this like WTF

caranichole

kfitzguerra said:

My UO is that I'm tired of people popping on our board now to ask questions.  I don't care if you have a question, or if you are new, but seriously, try to contribute in some way other than only to ask your asinine questions.  We're not Google.

And then they have the nerve to say, isn't this board supposed to be all about support?! -- 1. No, common misconception 2. umm you didn't ask for our comfort in a time of need. You asked us to disagree with your doctor. Forget their medical degree and years of experience. Obviously my music business degree and the fact that I too am pregnant has me far more equipped to give you medical guidance!

Eta: I guess that one finally just got me. Also, I'm pretty sure this all a popular opinion.

MuffinMom14

My UO about spanking is that I don't think I have an opinion about spanking, yet. In theory, I feel like hitting is different than spanking if it's just a swat on the bottom, but I also feel like I won't know how I REALLY feel until I have this kid, and I'm in a situation where I have to decide on discipline. I also think, if you think the two are different, it's a really thin line, and it's a really slippery slope. So, I just don't know where I stand. My husband feels there is "no need" to spank a kid. I tend to agree, but I'm not in that place. I've never had to discipline anyone.

Ultimately, until I got pregnant, I would say that a swat on the bottom is fine if someone wants to do that to their kid, I guess, but I don't THINK it's for me. Now that I'm pregnant, I am leaning in the opposite direction, thinking I'm pretty sure I just try to make a general practice of not saying "I will NEVER..." when it comes to parenting, because I don't know.

I have been hit both by a significant other and by my mother (only on a handful of occasions). My mother hit me in the face, and my significant other punched me in the arm or sides.

I was also THREATENED of spanking as a child, but I never actually got spanked. We had a board on top of the fridge, and it came down as a threat when I was being bad. I don't THINK it was ever used.

[Deleted User]

@Cantisa Yes of course! I meant that more jokingly. And you're right, I know there are many reasons why kids act out, and it's possible that even those ones are spanked, it's impossible to know. Spanking is not always the answer, but I also don't believe it's as awful as some like to paint it. As another PP said, it should not be used exclusively, but it does sometimes serve its purpose.

And as a FTM, I certainly can't speak to it yet. I was spanked, but I have not spanked. Maybe when the time comes I won't be able to bring myself to do it, either. I'm sure parenting is not going to be easy, and there's no cookie cutter way to do it.

hgielrebmik

On the subject of spanking, I think it's important to realize as a parent that the same discipline techniques don't necessarily work for all children. Discipline (in any form) should always be done calmly, out of love, and consistently. When kids arn't given some kind of consequence, they learn what they can get away with, and tht threats are empty words. When I was a kid, the threat of being spanked was enough to keep me in line. For my DD, taking away screen time is the most effective consequence. But, when we, as parents, discipline (in any form) out of anger and frustration, I don't think we are sending the right message to our kids (not that it's easy to keep your cool all the time).

MrMrsandBaby

I hate all of the "I'm over being pregnant" posts lately.  Dude, we are all just about done so we know how you feel.  Do we really need someone to do a daily "over it" post?  It gets old fast.  Suck it up, pregnancy is 40 weeks (give or take) and we are almost done.  It isn't a punishment to be pregnant so just stop. 

pnwlover12

MrMrsandBaby said:

I hate all of the "I'm over being pregnant" posts lately.  Dude, we are all just about done so we know how you feel.  Do we really need someone to do a daily "over it" post?  It gets old fast.  Suck it up, pregnancy is 40 weeks (give or take) and we are almost done.  It isn't a punishment to be pregnant so just stop. 

--
Jeez. Well someone needs to get a Pregnant Woman of the Year ribbon.

MrMrsandBaby

pnwlover12 said:

I hate all of the "I'm over being pregnant" posts lately.  Dude, we are all just about done so we know how you feel.  Do we really need someone to do a daily "over it" post?  It gets old fast.  Suck it up, pregnancy is 40 weeks (give or take) and we are almost done.  It isn't a punishment to be pregnant so just stop. 

-- Jeez. Well someone needs to get a Pregnant Woman of the Year ribbon.

If this is a real thing I want it...

caranichole

The idea that spanking teaches your kid to be violent baffles me- parents who get angry and smack their kids across the face teach violence. Spanking not so much.

My dad is the most gentle man I've ever known. He rarely spanked me so when he did, I knew I really screwed up. It never followed him getting all worked up. He didn't yell. He just said, ok I'm going to spank you now. You could tell he was disappointed, never freaking out, angry, frustrated, etc.

I got spanked and there is absolutely nothing violent about me.

MrMrsandBaby

FamousEa said:

pnwlover12 said:

I hate all of the "I'm over being pregnant" posts lately.  Dude, we are all just about done so we know how you feel.  Do we really need someone to do a daily "over it" post?  It gets old fast.  Suck it up, pregnancy is 40 weeks (give or take) and we are almost done.  It isn't a punishment to be pregnant so just stop. 

-- Jeez. Well someone needs to get a Pregnant Woman of the Year ribbon.

If this is a real thing I want it...

Guise I'm the super special unicorn of the board so I think I should get it.

Damn you unicorn!

pnwlover12

Cantisa said:

When are our superlative awards?!?!? Why won't anyone answer!! (

I have no idea what this is.

golfingdarwinfish

Cantisa said:

When are our superlative awards?!?!? Why won't anyone answer!! (

We should probably do it before Oct 1st...  Do we need a poll about this?  8->

pnwlover12

Cantisa said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

MollyC20

Raesofsunshine1 said:

crystal8503 said:

trisharenee0316 said:

UO: Schools need to go back to teaching vocational ed.  The push for everyone to go to college is failing students and thereby failing society.  Not everyone needs or wants to go to college.  Certainly expressing that everyone should go to college *if they desire* is helpful, but I think it's doing schools and kids a great disservice to make the entire high school curriculum college preparatory in nature.  Then you end up with kids who either drop out of high school because they're truly not interested in anything they're learning, or ones who sort of follow along with the plan, go to college and take out student loans, and then realize that all along they wanted to do something else that didn't require a degree at all and then they have needless debt.

I could not agree more and you said it far better than I ever could. 

Agree! My high school had curriculums. It had music & arts, business, technology, agriculture and college prep. I was in the business curriculum and loved it. Each curriculum required different specific classes each year catering. Now Ive heard all they have is college prep. College prep is important but if you are more interested in a certain subject, why not take as many classes as possible on it. I believe kids excel more when they are in a class that actually excited them.


Texas is going back to that with House Bill 5... Our HS will now have different "vocational paths" they can take that have their own degree plan.

duckr

alfibet said:

It bugs me how every other response on the baby shower board is a quote of someone's opinion and the person adding "This." It drives me crazy for some reason. And it does that thing where "this" starts to not look like a real word anymore. If you agree with someone's opinion can't you just love tit? They write "this." 50 times in each thread. I guess it's just a forum thing.. :-??

This. 











:P

MrsSarahRenee

pnwlover12 said:

Cantisa said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

You can have vulgarity regarding useage of tits! I want to nominate emerald for most knowledgeable about boobies.

Saragoeswest

golfingdarwinfish said:

Cantisa said:

When are our superlative awards?!?!? Why won't anyone answer!! (

We should probably do it before Oct 1st...  Do we need a poll about this?  8->

First, a poll to determine if we need a poll. Second, a poll of which superlatives to award. Third, a poll for each superlative.

MrsSinner402

pnwlover12 said:

Cantisa said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

I probably use fuck way fucking more than you use tits.

JJsMum

My UO, I guess, is that I also believe in (very rare) spankings. DS#1 has gotten a spanking (meaning a single swift swat to a diaper covered butt). He was totally out of control leaving a park and not listening, not focusing. When he went to run out into the street I grabbed him and gave him a swat to refocus his attention and let him know that I was serious. It did NOT hurt him, but it did startle him and he has not repeated the behavior.

I will say, that I never intend for a spanking to hurt. I think it's the shock value that really works. I make a conscious effort to not punish out of anger, but to take a step back before punishment is dolled out, and I very definitely try to find other ways of punishing first.

MuffinMom14

pnwlover12 said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

Most vulgar use of EVERY OTHER WORD goes to....PUUUUUUURP.

golfingdarwinfish

Well it seems like there's going to be a battle for most vulgar.  I think we are going to need a vulgarity off. 

trisharenee0316

jlz32185 said:

I agree with all of this so much! I went to a very high achieving high school. It was assumed that everyone would move on to a 4 year university after graduation. I followed the "typical" plan and went to an expensive collage for one year and hated it! My second year I transferred to community college, got an associates degree and have been working a stable full time health care job since I was 20. My sister also went to a 4 year university and took 5 years to get her degree. The job market is so over saturated that she can't find a job making more than $10/ hr. She has crazy student loans and is 26 and stuck at home with my parents. Most of her friends are in a similar situation. The whole education system seems like a scam to me. It's so upsetting that 18 year olds can get themselves in huge debt and possible not even get a well paying job to pay off that debt.

You know, I had been thinking of this from the perspective of the students at the high school where I used to teach, but totally applicable to my HS too.  My HS was the same high-achieving type school and the push was for college.  As a result, they didn't offer remedial math, which hurt a lot of kids.  And the kids who stuck around my hometown who didn't have much direction in HS because they didn't learn a trade . . . well, they're a hot ass mess now.  If any one of them doesn't/didn't have some sort of drug issue, I'd be surprised.

The HS where I used to teach was a very low performing school and even there, it was a push for everyone to go to college when practically speaking, the actual skill level of the students was much lower (i.e., 11th graders with the reading level of a 7th grader, etc.).  Students there were also more interested in vocational programs because for them, practically speaking, they needed to be able to support themselves and their families and they had no interest in going to a university to earn a liberal arts degree to hopefully make it happen.  A lot of ROP classes were cut to divert the money for testing prep which, while important (I guess), likely has the opposite intended effect on a school's overall performance.  Maybe test scores go up, but is that because each person's score goes up, or because the students who don't care about the college prep stuff drop out, thereby eliminating their potentially lower scores from the equation?

MuffinMom14

golfingdarwinfish said:

Well it seems like there's going to be a battle for most vulgar.  I think we are going to need a vulgarity off. 

I don't need to be the most vulgar. But I should get an honorable mention for using some form of "fuck" in almost every post I ever make. I like to think of it as a decoration at this point.

In other news, Best Use Of Taylor Swift Gifs Goes To.....

Emerald27

MrsSarahRenee said:

pnwlover12 said:

Cantisa said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

You can have vulgarity regarding useage of tits! I want to nominate emerald for most knowledgeable about boobies.

"> :-*

golfingdarwinfish

MrsSarahRenee said:

@pnwlover12 It's awards for bumpies. For example...Most Supportive...Most Snarky...etc. Then you get a badge! ;-)

I'll probably win for most vulgar for usage of the word tits. ">

You can have vulgarity regarding useage of tits! I want to nominate emerald for most knowledgeable about boobies.

Well that could be an interesting badge....