Meltdowns have begun, seeking advice

MellsBells7

Holy Cow!  I definatley know the difference between a meltdown, tantrum and whining now!  

My son just turned 3 in July, and started preschool end of Aug.  His routine has really changed, he also has all new ABA therapist he is getting to know.  (We've been doing ABA since he was 2.)  I am going to start a journal to help pin point factors that cause the meltdown, and what helped him out of it.  I also should mention he is very speech delayed, so I am unable to communicate with him regarding what he needs or is feeling.  He can say no though, but its like he doesn't know himself what he wants while he is going through one.

I am seeking any advice on how to handle them, particularly while in the midst of one.   Is it harmful developmentally to put my son in his room and let him meltdown alone?  I don't want him to have abandonment issues.  I also have a 6 month old i will have to take care of and if Dad's not home leaving him alone may be my only option.  I will of course make sure he is physically safe. I have tried holding him real tight and singing or saying assuring things such as It's OK, or I'm here.  Any advice or resources you may have or know are greatly appreciated.  Thanks!

hopecounts

((hugs)) have you spoken with the BCBA about them and gotten their recommendation for how to handle melt downs?

that would be step 1 for me. 

In our case DD usually calms much quicker if given space (and lack of attention to the melt down) so I put her in her room where it's babyproofed and safe, that said so far (knock wood) melt downs are very uncommon for her; her go to when upset/overwhelmed is to run around like crazy so hard to say. I hope it's not damaging her but the cool down time definitely helps.

Another trick I found that helps is giving her regular sensory input throughout the day and really upping it if I see a meltdown brewing. 

We do lots of swinging, jumping on the trampoline, headstands, playing on the yoga ball, etc it seems to help her maintain enough bandwith to better handle situations she finds challenging. 

Also as far as communication goes, have you considered/tried sign language/PECs to give him a means of communicating?

it sounds like these might be typical 2 yr old communication frustration tantrums with ASD amping them up, something that would be expected around his age since our kiddos are roughly half their chronological age so he is probably around 2 developmentally and right on target for those. Not that it makes it easier or anything but sometimes putting it in appropriate developmental perspective is helpful.

SantoriniSteph

I'm sorry you are going through this too.  We have been dealing with meltdowns for a very long time.  I take each one differently and try things based on what I think caused it, though many times I can only guess at what caused it.  If I can guess, I remove the reason why the meltdown started.  I go between ignoring them (but making sure he is safe) and holding him.  I hold him when I think he might get hurt throwing himself around the room.  DS is non-verbal so I know how hard it is to communicate.  I wouldn't leave him alone in a room, I think it is better that he sees me and knows I'm here waiting for him.  He usually wants cuddles and comfort after a meltdown.

We don't have other kids so I don't have the extra challenge of how to handle both at once.  When we got the ASD Dx we decided to not have any more kids.  We might change our minds in a few years though.

Meltdowns are hard, try to breathe and stay calm.  Give yourself a minute afterwards to relax.  And don't let other people judge you for this, a meltdown will happen in public, ignore those around you.

kcisthebombdotcom

https://www.yogapeutics.com/blog/4-surprising-ways-to-support-a-childs-self-regulation-avoid-melt-down This may seem a little hippy to some but these strategies help big time here, especially turning upside down. Also sometimes if dd is getting upset empathy helps. I over exaggerate my tone of voice and facial expressions and it really does seem to help.

Princess_Lily

Any of those 4 work great for DS - except for the hugging when angry. He fights that big time!

MellsBells7

Thanks!

I have talked to our ABA therapist, she wants me to keep track of them, she said it was good that he has started this.  They also always like to remind me that its typical of any kid NT & ASD.  I'll ask her for more ideas though.