TTC>35 Graduate Update (BFP mentioned)

on42

Hi ladies,

I know there is a thread on here for graduate updates but I wanted to do my own. We are 32 weeks today. Baby M is doing well and so far the pregnancy has been pretty uneventful. The B.H. contractions have started, and I am very uncomfortable physically. I'm looking forward to meeting the babe.

I haven't mentioned this to family or friends yet, haven't posted on our blog and recently deactivated FB (for those of you following me there; got to be too much). I had a pap on Monday because I didn't get one early in the pregnancy. It looks like there are visible lesions on my cervix. My midwife wants to make sure it's not cancer, so she has been consulting with a high-risk/MFM OB hoping she would examine my cervix. The high-risk OB basically told her to go directly to the cervical cancer/dysplasia center for an appointment. I am waiting to get an appointment with them.

Unfortunately, about 9 years ago, I was diagnosed with high-grade dysplasia and was successfully treated. Back then, however, the lesions were not visible, so I am quite concerned this time around. I'm being told that because I am 8 mos pregnant, they will want to wait to treat until the baby is born. I think that is a bad idea considering I had an exam 10 weeks ago (for bleeding) and the doctor saw nothing at that time other than what she described as a small tear or scrape on my cervix. So whatever this is has developed rapidly.

I am feeling very stressed out and upset as I am also dealing with some negative family issues/drama (which I'm trying to blow off), and wrapping up work before my leave, which is currently chaotic. I guess I am feeling very isolated and I have a bad feeling about this, and it's hard to cope with it all at once. This probably belongs in the PG > 35 forum, but (1) I've never been active on that board, and (2) since I was on here for so long, and you were all like a little family, I wanted to check in and just get some support. I'm not worried about M as she's healthy. But I'm worried about caring for her if I'm sick, and I'm worried about having to wait for treatment and any consequence that might bring.

I haven't told family because I just can't deal with them right now. They're exhausting as it is. I feel like I'm not sure what to do. I'm entirely preoccupied with it.

xo

hooligans4

I'm so sorry this is getting thrown at you now.
I know it's easier said than done but try to wait until the dr tells you it's something bad before you start stressing out.
If god forbid it is something bad your baby is big enough to be born now if it came to it. You need to take care of you to be able to take care of her. I pray you get in to see the specialist soon so you will have definite answers.
I will be here for you when ever you need support.
Lean on Nate for support and remember you are growing a precious baby in your belly that needs her mamma.
I will pray for you. Be strong.

meredithcarole

I wasn't on the board when you were, but I am sending positive thoughts your way. I am sorry this is causing you so much stress, but I think Hooligans is right: try not to self diagnose and if, God forbid, it is what you think the baby is far enough along to be born and be okay. I hope all turns out to be well.

KirstenAlecia

I think Holligans is spot on with this. 

Im so sorry you have to deal with it and d iso without the support of family. 

I will add you to my prayers for sure.

Hugs 

Samuelismomma

So sorry Hun! Don't worry until you know! I know that's hard but if you do need to make the decision and having a premie. My ds was born at 34 weeks he had rough road at 13 days in nicu but he is perfect! I want to emphasize to that they kept telling me of he would of been a girl he probably would of come home. Boys rarely practice breathe in womb and are lazy:) so little Maxine will be fine! You can pm me anytime you need to blow off stress! I'm here and sending you lots of love!

URMySunshine77

First I just want to say that I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this difficult knowledge right now. I'm glad that your LO is doing well.

@hooligans4 gave you great advice. I wouldn't stress unless you know that you have something concrete to worry about.

Please keep us updated. I've been thinking about you all day and will continue to send positive vibes from here. Hugs to you.

BeckyP005

Oh sweetie... I am so sorry you have so much going on at once. Glad baby M is doing well!

I'm going to be thinking positive thoughts for you. I'm not going to say don't stress because I'm sure it's very hard not to. Try to take some deep breaths and know we are here for you. Hoping you are able to get an appt real soon.

Big huge hugs...

tlc35

I don't have any more advice than PP but I wanted to send virtual hugs.

lcwed

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.  Hopefully all your doctors can develop a course of treatment that will benefit everyone if it is needed.  Praying it is nothing serious.

kindershlitz

I'm really sorry for what you are going through.

Lady2010

I am so sorry you have to deal with this.  Sending you thoughts and prayers.  

hooligans4 said... if it is to the point where the dr's want you to deliver now, your baby is big enough now to survive.  

We are all rooting for you and your LO!

Sending you huge hugs!

Davie813

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this!  But like pps have pointed out, your daughter is big enough now that she'll be OK no matter what.  Here's hoping it's nothing serious, though, and everyone can stay put for another ~8 weeks.  Hugs to you!

Mrs.McIrish

I'm late to this but was just lurking. This is what I would do: get appt with dyplasia center. I would imagine they need to test you and that it will take at least a few days if not a week for results. The good thing is that you are 32 weeks--- if you don't even find out "anything" until 33-34 weeks, you can wait another week or 2 and schedule a csection (I would imagine you wouldn't induce in this situation as it would aggravate any cancer cells(if any). Your little girl is old enough for a great outcome and you can get started on whatever treatment you need. This will be ok. Hold on to that!!!

on42

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for the sincere and thoughtful comments. I FINALLY got the test results and it is normal. I am so relieved. 

Midwives and doctors should NEVER, EVER use the (six-letter) "C" word (or the other "c" word) with a preggo! Bad, bad, bad! I hope it was a learning experience for my midwife.... 

I am going to go back to yearly pap exams, though, just to be safe. I was told that every other year should be fine, but I'm not comfortable with that, and I'd prefer never to have to go through this again - pregnant or not. What a week.

BeckyP005

Great news! Since your not on fb anymore you will need to update us on when she arrives!!

tlc35

Oh, goodness I am so happy to hear this and I'm sorry for the scare.  Definitely keep us updated in the grad check in!

bearfootz

Glad to hear that all is ok.  Good luck keeping the stress levels down and focusing on the excitement of the new baby!

Davie813

Yay--so happy you got good news!!

Lady2010

So happy to hear this. Definitely continue to take it easy and keep stress low.

lgsdesigner

First off-- I'm so sorry to hear about the medical issues, family drama, life stresses. That must be very difficult having to conquer all of that at the same exact time. (((hugs)))

Secondly-- I understand how scary dysplasia/cancer can be. I have had it before, and also am a survivor. I think since your baby is only 5 weeks from being full-term, you both will be perfectly fine. If there are issues, they will maybe take her out at 37 weeks and treat you, or maybe not. Either way-- don't stress yet. Until you absolutely know what's going on, just try to keep your mind busy with other things and let the doctors handle everything. 

Thinking of you.