sleep solutions

megsue114

So we've been quasi-attachment parenting LO (5mo). Not intentionally, but thats how things have panned out, and otherwise, NOBODY is sleeping. So I'm just looking for general advice and suggestions (aka hoping for a magic bullet or at least some humorous comiseration): The gist: LO nurses to sleep (still nursing ever 2-3 hrs) co sleeps most of the time because she wakes so often I get tired of getting up wont take a bottle (so daddy cant settle her by feeding her) hates pacis wakes the instant I put her down wakes at night every 2-3hrs regardless of where shes sleeping (co sleeping OR pack n play next to the bed OR in her own crib in her room if I can get her to stay asleep there) only cat naps in the day (UNLESS I hold her the whole time - then i can get a good hour and a half) tried white noise, music, darkness, night lights, putting to sleep drowsy, putting to sleep asleep... I dont want to CIO, but feeling like we have no options. We literally have to hold her to get any rest, and on the occasions she stays asleep when we put her down, she's up again, usually within 30min (recommence 15-20min nurse back to sleep routine). I cannot hold her all the time, somethings gotta give. I have asked other groups and the general thought is just respond to baby's needs and the phase will pass... sure. She's not gonna nurse to sleep forever, but I feel like were not even CLOSE to sleeping through the night and things only seem to be getting worse. ( She slept 5-6hr spans as a newborn... things went downhill from there). Please tell me one of you has had success transitioning LO from co sleeping to her own sleeping area and is getting some sleep!! Teach me your ways!!

PhoenixBritt

I could have written this post myself when my daughter was younger. She never slept more than 20 mins for naps unless i was holding her and she woke every 1-2 hours at night until very recently (she is 17 months). Nothing really improved for us until we night weaned after she turned one. I survived by sleeping in when my husband could take her in the morning and just accepting that it won't last forever. The No Cry Sleep Solution might be helpful. Good luck it is so tough not getting enough sleep.

youenjoymyself

That's exactly how my daughter was when she was that age. In what position do you nurse her to sleep? When my daughter would wake immediately whenever I put her down, I started side lying nursing. We would lay together until she nodded off. And at that point, I usually passed out too. Hang in there! This too shall pass.

pixieprincss

In terms of nighttime sleep, she sounds like very a normal nursing baby. Sleeping longer as a newborn and less now is very normal. Exhausting, yes. But normal. For me--and I know this isn't the right path for everyone--changing my expectations made a world of difference. https://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/

For naps, I wonder if this is an age thing (in which case and it will pass if you address it or if you don't). But, to help you feel like you are doing something: can you wear her while she naps and you go about your business (or get in a daily walk around the neighborhood)? And then--if desired--get her to transfer down onto a sleep surface from the carrier? Getting to a skill level where you can do a back carry is great for long walks or chores. Will she go back to sleep when she wakes up if you give pats, nursing, etc.? Can you do side-laying nursing and then inch away once she's asleep and tuck a shirt of yours next to her? That way, you don't move her--you just move yourself.  Is there anything different about nighttime sleep than naps: temperature in the room, hot or cold based on her clothes, light vs. darkness, smells, sounds, etc? Are any of those addressable? 

TiffanyBerry

My daughter is nearly 4.5 years old.  She might sleep through the night half the time.  And this is a very recent change - in the past month or two.

At least half of kids are not sleeping through the night regularly at a year old.  It's normal, if tiring.

For us, we coslept, and I nursed in bed - as long as I didn't get vertical, I got more sleep.  Reducing night nursing (at 16mo or so) didn't change a thing (nor did fully night weaning at 3yrs).  Moving her to her room didn't change a thing (she still wanted me in there).  Ending nursing to sleep (which she did on her own) didn't change a thing.  The only thing that changed anything was time and patience.

A lot of it is personality - my daughter has always been high needs.  Those sorts of babies can be exhausting.  Really exhausting.  Babywearing is a huge help, and going to get *EARLY* (yeah, that means less down time for yourself without the baby, but more time to sleep).  She's also very sensory sensitive (and I think that's why she woke every 2-3hrs, just like yours, for well over a year.  Nothing we could do would change her brain to be less sensitive; it's just her.

Hang in there.  Whatever route you take, it is important to consider the needs of the family as a whole - hers, yes, but yours and your other immediate family members as well.  There has to be balance, even considering that babies may be able to "give" less.