s/o jdeats71 "Comment:"

Scout05

You are so right on with this one:

jdeats71:

"have you thought about adoption?  A friend of a friend knew someone who adopted and then ended up pregnant!" 

 

 

 

If ONE more person says this to me, I am going to go postal. It's like they are saying "someone go to the bathroom so the food will come" at a restaurant.

 

It nulls any congrats they offered about the adoption process, because all they are really saying is hopefully you'll get pregnant and have a "real" baby before you actually have to go through with it.

 

My reply has been: "Yes, I'm sure I will get pregnant again without issue. And then the baby will die, as seems to be what always happens.  Meanwhile, we are excited about our journey to bring our child home. It has nothing to do with what goes on in my uterus."

 

Ass_hats.

michrocc

I agree 100%.  What a hurtful, backhanded thing to say. 

KelinandKevin

I totally agree.  And I love your restaurant comparison!!

Mocha Girl

michrocc:

I agree 100%.  What a hurtful, backhanded thing to say. 

Ditto! I wish some people would think before they speak....

::::disapproving head shake::::

grr_aargh

You know, I've been guilty of saying "Have you thought about adoption?" but I don't think I'd ever ever EVER follow it with "X went through it and got pregnant." 

 Because that's dumb.  And because adoption is, for me, a serious TT(haveababy) journey on its own.  Why cheapen it by saying "Gee, it's a sure sign you'll get your biological imperitive!!" and why lessen the beauty of adoption by inferring that somehow that adopted baby you're journeying for can be dismissed when you get biologically knocked up. . .

Ugh.  It chaps my hide.

 

jdeats71

This statement makes me effing crazy.  My mom said this to me months ago and I was so surprised.  And everyone just assumes adoption is such an easy process when in reality, it can be even more expensive than IF treatments and just as stressful.

but yeah - the next time someone says that I'm going to reply, "Why yes, I'm sure as soon as we adopt a child, my old eggs and DH low count sperm will magically work together without any intervention.  but only if we are on vacation somewhere, relaxing."

I hate people and their stupid comments.  just STFU.

ColindaP

Allison, my parents adopted my older brothers after 5 years of IF. My mom got pregnant a year later, miscarried at 14 weeks, and then got pg with me.

 She is one of those women.

And she is also one of the most fervent haters of people who talk about how all you have to do to get pg is adopt. At worst it cheapens adoption as an end in and of itself and at best it's like telling someone it'll happen if they just relax. It's so condescending.

triple_sevens

My MIL used to say this to me all. the. time. When I was freaking out last summer about not being pregnant yet, she'd say "Well you just keep trying and then maybe you'll have to adopt a really cute Chinese baby and then you'll definitely get pregnant, because they've done studies that show that it happens!"

At least since the m/c she no longer pulls stuff like that.

butterfly843

I hate people who make stupid comments. I'm with you, the next stupid comment I get I am going to go nuts on that person. I almost went crazy on the pg girl at work today and all she said was how she can't wait to have coffee again while I was drinking my starbucks.