FFFC

shootznladrz

Peledreamsofrain said:

estamos_tomamos said:

ToasterCat said:

shootznladrz said:

I am a terrible wife. H and I got into a argument in buy buy baby yesterday and he threw his wallet at me telling me to get whatever and meet him in the car. I got pissed and said fuck you and left it on the floor. No surprises that the wallet got stolen. At first I was more angry than anything in that he shouldn't have thrown his wallet at me but now I realize I acted like a child and he has to replace everything in his wallet. Luckily there wasn't any cash.

I feel terrible. He's not mad and laughed it off because hormones and whatnot but it was shitty of me.

Hormones don't make you act like a 12 year old... Sounds like you both need to grow up a little.

Agree.  Also, this is not something that goes in the "I'll Laugh at it Later" box.  This should go directly into the "Painful Cringe" box.

**quote**

Yeah, I'd be fucking horrified if my DH threw something at me. That's intensely disrespectful, especially in public. That would seriously make me question the entire relationship. How are the both of you going to handle the immense emotional stress of children? Throwing more things?



---------------------------

Yes actually we're going to graduate to throwing glasses and things that actually break and are more satisfying.
It was a moment of frustration for both of us. Not either one of our finer moments and is not a commentary on our relationship.

FrecklesInside

shootznladrz said:

ToasterCat said:

shootznladrz said:

I am a terrible wife. H and I got into a argument in buy buy baby yesterday and he threw his wallet at me telling me to get whatever and meet him in the car. I got pissed and said fuck you and left it on the floor. No surprises that the wallet got stolen. At first I was more angry than anything in that he shouldn't have thrown his wallet at me but now I realize I acted like a child and he has to replace everything in his wallet. Luckily there wasn't any cash. I feel terrible. He's not mad and laughed it off because hormones and whatnot but it was shitty of me.

Hormones don't make you act like a 12 year old... Sounds like you both need to grow up a little.

Agree.  Also, this is not something that goes in the "I'll Laugh at it Later" box.  This should go directly into the "Painful Cringe" box.

**quote** Yeah, I'd be fucking horrified if my DH threw something at me. That's intensely disrespectful, especially in public. That would seriously make me question the entire relationship. How are the both of you going to handle the immense emotional stress of children? Throwing more things?

--------------------------- Yes actually we're going to graduate to throwing glasses and things that actually break and are more satisfying. It was a moment of frustration for both of us. Not either one of our finer moments and is not a commentary on our relationship.

Huh. Kind of is though.

ngolimento

shootznladrz said:

Peledreamsofrain said:

estamos_tomamos said:

ToasterCat said:

shootznladrz said:

I am a terrible wife. H and I got into a argument in buy buy baby yesterday and he threw his wallet at me telling me to get whatever and meet him in the car. I got pissed and said fuck you and left it on the floor. No surprises that the wallet got stolen. At first I was more angry than anything in that he shouldn't have thrown his wallet at me but now I realize I acted like a child and he has to replace everything in his wallet. Luckily there wasn't any cash.

I feel terrible. He's not mad and laughed it off because hormones and whatnot but it was shitty of me.

Hormones don't make you act like a 12 year old... Sounds like you both need to grow up a little.

Agree.  Also, this is not something that goes in the "I'll Laugh at it Later" box.  This should go directly into the "Painful Cringe" box.

**quote**

Yeah, I'd be fucking horrified if my DH threw something at me. That's intensely disrespectful, especially in public. That would seriously make me question the entire relationship. How are the both of you going to handle the immense emotional stress of children? Throwing more things?



---------------------------

Yes actually we're going to graduate to throwing glasses and things that actually break and are more satisfying.
It was a moment of frustration for both of us. Not either one of our finer moments and is not a commentary on our relationship.


Uh, it's a pretty damn big comment on the relationship that both of you are willing to be so disrespectful to each other in public over something so minor. Frustration should never escalate so badly over something so stupid. That's downright scary.

cinderella105

jessuhmarie said:

HallRents said:

I am a very "sharing" person. If you want some of what I'm snacking on - cool, here ya go. Since I've been pregnant, I don't share ANYTHING! As a matter of fact, I secretly hoard it instead. Even when I'm in bed with my husband having crackers or something I won't offer him any. Bring on the pregnancy weight...and husband's puppy dog eyes...

MH's friend was eying my chocolate cake two weekends ago. I straight up said "pregnant people don't have to share." Hells no was he getting a piece of my cake!

I was like this with my daughter.. I had one of those big Reese's cups and my daughter kept asking for a bite, but I said "I share everything with you, I think I can say no sometimes and just enjoy this for myself! Go get a cookie or something.." Lol..

shootznladrz

He got back from being deployed to the Middle East for about a year, not even three months ago. He has small meltdowns occasionally. It happens. I obviously did not react well. Its being dealt with. I know my husband, I know my relationship with him. Think what you want, honestly if a couple of internet strangers think that my marriage is a bad marriage or whatever, it doesn't really affect me. I continue to respond to attempt to give you guys context about it. Also I didn't even give context of what the fight was about! Obviously there's more to the story than what information you guys have. Anyway....

I do appreciate the respect and support I have received from this board to this point. We can now move on and find something else to talk about.

wishiwaspreggo

jessuhmarie said:

I am a very "sharing" person. If you want some of what I'm snacking on - cool, here ya go. Since I've been pregnant, I don't share ANYTHING! As a matter of fact, I secretly hoard it instead. Even when I'm in bed with my husband having crackers or something I won't offer him any. Bring on the pregnancy weight...and husband's puppy dog eyes...

MH's friend was eying my chocolate cake two weekends ago. I straight up said "pregnant people don't have to share." Hells no was he getting a piece of my cake!

Get this: I ordered a chocolate cake at a restaurant once and my friend's husband - WITHOUT asking - picked up a spoon and started eating!  What the fuck?  Who does that?  He went to the bathroom so I ate the rest as fast as I could and he had the nerve to complain when he came back.

What an ass.  That was the last time we went to a restaurant with those two.

bumpuser10258960

shootznladrz said:

ToasterCat said:

shootznladrz said:

I am a terrible wife. H and I got into a argument in buy buy baby yesterday and he threw his wallet at me telling me to get whatever and meet him in the car. I got pissed and said fuck you and left it on the floor. No surprises that the wallet got stolen. At first I was more angry than anything in that he shouldn't have thrown his wallet at me but now I realize I acted like a child and he has to replace everything in his wallet. Luckily there wasn't any cash. I feel terrible. He's not mad and laughed it off because hormones and whatnot but it was shitty of me.

Hormones don't make you act like a 12 year old... Sounds like you both need to grow up a little.

Agree.  Also, this is not something that goes in the "I'll Laugh at it Later" box.  This should go directly into the "Painful Cringe" box.

**quote** Yeah, I'd be fucking horrified if my DH threw something at me. That's intensely disrespectful, especially in public. That would seriously make me question the entire relationship. How are the both of you going to handle the immense emotional stress of children? Throwing more things?

--------------------------- Yes actually we're going to graduate to throwing glasses and things that actually break and are more satisfying. It was a moment of frustration for both of us. Not either one of our finer moments and is not a commentary on our relationship.

Not trying to defend what happened in @shootznladrz situation, but I could see how it could be a one-off event and do not think it says anything about your relationship unless it happens again. 

DH and I were once at a loud restaurant/bar hanging with friends. Had a little too much to drink and as we were leaving he said "drive" and tossed my keys at me (what I didn't hear was him saying he was too buzzed to drive). I remember being so pissed he threw keys at me that I stood there looking at them on the floor and contemplated actually leaving his ass there. (Again, I didn't hear him saying he had too much to drink). Instead, I grabbed the keys, let myself in the car and let him wait before I unlocked the door for him. The drive home was unpleasant, filled with hurtful words & emotions on both of our parts. 

In the end, after we both calmed down, we realized that there was a break in communication and emotions ran high. That coupled with having been drinking and it was a recipe for disaster. Certainly not our proudest moment, but something that happened and we learned a lot from that event. We have not had so much as an argument since that day.  

cinderella105

shootznladrz said:

He got back from being deployed to the Middle East for about a year, not even three months ago. He has small meltdowns occasionally. It happens. I obviously did not react well. Its being dealt with. I know my husband, I know my relationship with him. Think what you want, honestly if a couple of internet strangers think that my marriage is a bad marriage or whatever, it doesn't really affect me. I continue to respond to attempt to give you guys context about it. Also I didn't even give context of what the fight was about! Obviously there's more to the story than what information you guys have. Anyway....

I do appreciate the respect and support I have received from this board to this point. We can now move on and find something else to talk about.

You know topics like this don't just "move on" that easily on TB right? Take it from me who's posted a lot of personal shit, you share it - you risk any responses people feel the need to say. Just FYI.

ngolimento

At what point does being in the military give you a free pass to publically embarrass your wife and throw shit at her? Did I miss something?

kellbell1982

jessuhmarie said:

At what point does being in the military give you a free pass to publically embarrass your wife and throw shit at her? Did I miss something?

And if you're implying he has some underlying issues like PTSD, then I would definitely urge you to have him seek counseling. You can't let violence and disrespect continue for your relationship and for your unborn child.

. My husband and I both suffer with PTSD so I'm glad you mentioned that because it really is the invisible wound and getting help is so important. It does get better and it's nothing to be ashamed of. My hubby came back with a traumatic brain injury on top of it so it was an uphill battle but thankfully I could relate to his experience since I had served in a combat zone as well, not thts this is required in order to understand or be there for him, but it helped

shootznladrz

jessuhmarie said:

Peledreamsofrain said:

At what point does being in the military give you a free pass to publically embarrass your wife and throw shit at her? Did I miss something?

And if you're implying he has some underlying issues like PTSD, then I would definitely urge you to have him seek counseling. You can't let violence and disrespect continue for your relationship and for your unborn child.

No one said him being in the military is an excuse. There is an adjustment period to being back is all. I'm not asking you to understand or condone his behavior I was giving some background.

@jessuhmarie‌ it's being dealt with through counseling. They don't classify it as PTSD until he's been home for 90days or something like that. Trust me it won't be continuing.

honkytonk_kid

My husband has been working from home pretty frequently lately, and it's kinda driving me crazy. The main reason is that he always asks, "what's for lunch?" Um, same thing as every other day, whatever you find in the fridge. The kid and I eat small meals/snacks all day, definitely not a "lunch is served at noon" type deal.

kellbell1982

honkytonk_kid said:

My husband has been working from home pretty frequently lately, and it's kinda driving me crazy. The main reason is that he always asks, "what's for lunch?" Um, same thing as every other day, whatever you find in the fridge. The kid and I eat small meals/snacks all day, definitely not a "lunch is served at noon" type deal.

Yes! I hate when H asks me what we have to eat. Umm the same shit we had when you asked me five minutes ago

massiejs09

wishiwaspreggo said:

Another FFFC: I'm going to buy a couple really good bottles of wine for each month I'm pregnant and store them for after I have the baby.  I miss wine desperately, and I think knowing that my dry-out will finally end one day will make be feel less bitter about not being able to enjoy a glass of delicious, mouth-watering, rich, fruity, earthy, sumptuous, silky, spine-tinglingly strong cabernet.

This is an AMAZING idea (and I might steal it). PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make one of your bottles the 2011 Justin Cabernet. For the price point its hands down, the best Cabernet I've had. I've been telling my husband he should buy a bottle to enjoy on his own just so I can be near it.

HallRents

@jessuhmarie and @wishiwaspreggo - oh HELL NO!  At this point, I feel like saying - don't take ANYTHING from me.  Not my pillow, not my blanket, not my snacks...NATA. 

But @jessuhmarie - don't throw the spoon.  Throwing things is causing controversy today.

@shootznladrz - shit happens and I think that you can recognize if this is something you should be concerned about and seek the right outlets for help.  You are an adult.  I'm probably going to get white knighted for this, but hey, I haven't had that honour in a while...and it's FFFC, so I will pour the gas on myself.  I'm also certain you are not a bad wife either. 

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to find a better hiding place for all of my Sour Patch Kids.

chaysefaith

@wishiwasprego (and everyone stocking up on wine) can I interest you in a bottle of THIS?  It's amazing.  And @wishiwasprego, not sure how far you are from Michigan (even though I know you've said you're not terribly far from Chicago, so I assume not too bad) but you can day trip to this winery/brewery and try it.  It's UH-MAY-ZING.

MrsLaurenandDan

Mmmmm, if we are talking michigan wines https://store.cgtwines.com/cherry-riesling-wine-p3.aspx

transplantedhawkeye

I have been avoiding folding and putting away DS and DH laundry for a couple of weeks, and mine that isn't scrubs.  I just have no interest in dealing with it,  it is clean but fuck it.

wishiwaspreggo

Awesome suggestions - thanks, guys!  Here's what I have on my list thus far:

Moet champagne: 2 bottles.  One to celebrate the birth of our baby with C, one to drink ALL BY MYSELF at a time of my choosing.

Finca Decero Malbec - Yaaaaaaaaas

Estancia Cabernet

Bordeaux - the best I can afford.

Oliver: soft red, blackberry, Gewurztraminer

Mad Housewife Cab - so I can take funny pictures with my baby.

And I think I'll have to buy some of this Justin Cabernet Sauvignon!  It got good reviews on the interwebz and the price is right

kcbizme

You ladies are making my mouth water! I may have to steal @wishiwaspreggo's idea and start stocking up on wine for after baby is born! And luckily, SO doesn't like the same wines as me so he won't be drinking mine!  =P~

klax4

wishiwaspreggo said:

Another FFFC: I'm going to buy a couple really good bottles of wine for each month I'm pregnant and store them for after I have the baby.  I miss wine desperately, and I think knowing that my dry-out will finally end one day will make be feel less bitter about not being able to enjoy a glass of delicious, mouth-watering, rich, fruity, earthy, sumptuous, silky, spine-tinglingly strong cabernet.

That is the most brilliant thing I have ever read on TB. You are a genius. I miss wine so damn much.

transplantedhawkeye

wishiwaspreggo said:

Awesome suggestions - thanks, guys!  Here's what I have on my list thus far:

Moet champagne: 2 bottles.  One to celebrate the birth of our baby with C, one to drink ALL BY MYSELF at a time of my choosing.

Finca Decero Malbec - Yaaaaaaaaas

Estancia Cabernet

Bordeaux - the best I can afford.

Oliver: soft red, blackberry, Gewurztraminer

Mad Housewife Cab - so I can take funny pictures with my baby.

And I think I'll have to buy some of this Justin Cabernet Sauvignon!  It got good reviews on the interwebz and the price is right

I'm not a wine person and this sounds awesome.

shootznladrz

klax4 said:

wishiwaspreggo said:

Another FFFC: I'm going to buy a couple really good bottles of wine for each month I'm pregnant and store them for after I have the baby.  I miss wine desperately, and I think knowing that my dry-out will finally end one day will make be feel less bitter about not being able to enjoy a glass of delicious, mouth-watering, rich, fruity, earthy, sumptuous, silky, spine-tinglingly strong cabernet.

That is the most brilliant thing I have ever read on TB. You are a genius. I miss wine so damn much.

This is amazing!!! I'm stealing your idea

wishiwaspreggo

Do it, ladies!!!  Even if we can't drink it yet it's cathartic enough to go through the process of purchasing and storing it.  Then at least you can stare at it and know that soon... SOON... you will enjoy it.

I do sniff C's wine glass when she pours some.  Same with the beer.  Mmmmm...  I'm drinking NA beer once in a while for now.  It isn't fabulous but it's close enough.  I've heard NA wine is awful so I'm not even going to try it.  I'm just going to stock up on the good stuff so I can enjoy it later.

kcbizme

wishiwaspreggo said:

Do it, ladies!!!  Even if we can't drink it yet it's cathartic enough to go through the process of purchasing and storing it.  Then at least you can stare at it and know that soon... SOON... you will enjoy it.

I do sniff C's wine glass when she pours some.  Same with the beer.  Mmmmm...  I'm drinking NA beer once in a while for now.  It isn't fabulous but it's close enough.  I've heard NA wine is awful so I'm not even going to try it.  I'm just going to stock up on the good stuff so I can enjoy it later.

I am looking forward to drinking sparkling grape juice during the holidays. I love it! So while everyone else is indulging, I'll be watching them make asses of themselves and enjoying my juice.

bumpuser10258960

For anyone who comes across a Foley brand wine, I SERIOUSLY HIGHLY recommend it! We visited Napa in May and stopped at this small vinyard and every. single. wine. was AMAZING, which is saying a lot because I rarely find a brand of wine where I like every style they make!

wendyld

shootznladrz said:

He got back from being deployed to the Middle East for about a year, not even three months ago. He has small meltdowns occasionally. It happens. I obviously did not react well. Its being dealt with. I know my husband, I know my relationship with him. Think what you want, honestly if a couple of internet strangers think that my marriage is a bad marriage or whatever, it doesn't really affect me. I continue to respond to attempt to give you guys context about it. Also I didn't even give context of what the fight was about! Obviously there's more to the story than what information you guys have. Anyway....

I do appreciate the respect and support I have received from this board to this point. We can now move on and find something else to talk about.

It doesn't matter what the context of the fight was because there's no argument that justifies throwing things at your spouse. But while we are on the topic of context, this adds some to your parents' lack of excitement.

pmv81

wishiwaspreggo said:

Do it, ladies!!!  Even if we can't drink it yet it's cathartic enough to go through the process of purchasing and storing it.  Then at least you can stare at it and know that soon... SOON... you will enjoy it.

I do sniff C's wine glass when she pours some.  Same with the beer.  Mmmmm...  I'm drinking NA beer once in a while for now.  It isn't fabulous but it's close enough.  I've heard NA wine is awful so I'm not even going to try it.  I'm just going to stock up on the good stuff so I can enjoy it later.

I always take a big sniff of DH wine or rum....mmm mmm mmmmm smells so good. He thinks it's torture & doesn't understand why I put myself through it, but I say I'm just appreciating it with my other senses. ha! Can't wait for a nice big glass...err bottle to myself. I've moved a couple of our nice bottles to the "special occasion rack" so DH doesn't enjoy it before I can join.

cinderella105

I'm totally eating chocolate donuts right now to help wake me up.. Or to just get my chocolate fix.. And I'm dunking them in my second cup of coffee.

melleasndrs

I was thinking about buying alcohol free beer and apparently they make it as wine too (my mom told me she found some non alcoholic wine in not sure I believe her).


My fffc (is not going to be flame free) - my SO is hiding drinks from me. This started within the past few weeks.....I have found beers and minis in random places. He is now back to drinking everyday. I am at a loss of what to do. He asked me last night on my way home to pick him up a beer and I said I didn't have money which was a lie. Everyday this week he has asked me to get him beer. I did once and I know it's just enabling him. If he doesn't get a drink he gets pissy and resorts to not speaking and shutting down. I have reached out to his family for help.... nothing. I can't keep begging him to get help. I feel stuck even though I know I'm not. He isn't violent but is starting to get upset easily.

Annnnnd here is the kicker- We have been living in my father's unfinished basement to help save money to move. Now with the baby on the way we are going to be staying a little longer, or at least I am pending this drinking debacle. I am getting zero input and help from him to get things together. I have little time with working as much as I do to get the whole basement cleaned and ready to house an infant. I'm not sure where I'm going with this anymore. I'm just frustrated beyond belief this week. I know I can't raise an infant with an alcoholic and patience is wearing thin if he doesn't stop soon I'll be kicking him out.

transplantedhawkeye

melleasndrs - Best of luck with this rough situation.  I hope that you and your SO can work this out.

melleasndrs

@transplantedhawkeye Thanks. I'm hoping this work out too. Just don't know how much more I personally can take.

kellbell1982

@melleadndrs good luck with everything going on with your SO. I grew up with an alcoholic father and it was incredibly hard so I'm glad you are putting your baby first and not putting up with that crap

wendyld

@melleasndrs‌ I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. How long was he sober before going back to drinking? Have you looked into al-anon or therapy for yourself? You can't fix this yourself, and if he doesn't want to, this is only going to get worse.

melleasndrs

@wendyld‌ it was about 5 months before he went back to it (for all I know with him hiding it from me). He told me he wanted to do AA but hasn't made any attempt at going. I haven't done any counseling, but I think it might be time for me to go. Before I got pregnant I was trying to figure out if we should part ways. The damage the drinking did was a lot to take in to fix our relationship. I found out I was pregnant while we were trying to work things out. It's as if he just fell back into it because I was preoccupied and overwhelmed.

FrecklesInside

@melleasndrs‌ I can tell you how traumatic it is to be a child of an alcoholic. If he is unwilling to change upon talking to him about the serious nature of his problem, you need to honestly sit down and think about the best course of action for you and baby. Alcoholism is a tough tough battle, and he has to be willing to fight it.

melleasndrs

Thanks freckles for the confidence boost. I am going at this one more time and then I'm throwing in the towel.

massiejs09

wishiwaspreggo said:

Awesome suggestions - thanks, guys!  Here's what I have on my list thus far:

Moet champagne: 2 bottles.  One to celebrate the birth of our baby with C, one to drink ALL BY MYSELF at a time of my choosing.

Finca Decero Malbec - Yaaaaaaaaas

Estancia Cabernet

Bordeaux - the best I can afford.

Oliver: soft red, blackberry, Gewurztraminer

Mad Housewife Cab - so I can take funny pictures with my baby.

And I think I'll have to buy some of this Justin Cabernet Sauvignon!  It got good reviews on the interwebz and the price is right

Be one with the Justin.....

bdazzld

cinderella105 said:

@ToasterCat‌ I'll try that. I'm just so afraid I'm gonna hurt her! I don't know how far down or how close that spot in their nail is where it's full of nerves and can bleed if you accidentally clip it.. That happened with my dog when I was younger and my mom would clip them..

I use the spa/manicurist grade cuticle nippers to do our cats.  It goes well, I give them a treat after I do it to help give them a positive association with it.

Whitfry

I have been wearing the same clothes for three days, because I am too lazy to go get clean ones. (At least my underwear are clean). 

Also, I'm really sad that I can't get my new wacom tablet to work properly, because I was going to take everyone's u/s pics and draw rude things on them for fun.