Confessions

ATXmommas

Fridays have been slow around here, so perhaps it's time for more confessions?

Karlamo

I'll kick this off!

Before we had R, I thought we'd be more open to the colors/types of clothes we put on him.  We were team green and we bought a handful of clothes, some girl.  After he was born we put a girl onsie on him.  He just didn't look right in it.  I think it was the scalloped collar that really put us over the comfort zone.  So for now we won't be dressing him in anymore girl clothes unless he asks. 

This one I posted on our BMB confession thread.  I get annoyed when people say to R that he'll drive the girls crazy or his wife will be lucky etc..  I always correct them and say he may drive the boys crazy and his husband will be lucky.  We all know that despite what the tea party thinks, the chances of him being gay are slim.  We plan on loving him no matter who he decides to marry

 

 

 

ATXmommas

Funny/gross confession - Ash was in an acute teething phase a few weeks ago, which coincidentally was at the same time I was sick with a virus. He puked in the MON in his crib, so we stripped his mattress and put him in bed with us. An hour or two later he puked all over our bed. It's a much bigger pain in the rear to change the sheets on our bed, so, yeah, we just wiped everything up with a wet cloth, laid a towel down, and went back to sleep. :P

This is only a confession because it's something I for sure thought I would do, but I haven't signed even once with my son.

My child's hair slightly resembles a mullet right now. Hahaha.

And this one is serious and totally horrifying to talk about. I was washing dishes the other day and Ash was crawling around underfoot. I digger down under some dishes to get the scrubber. As I did that, a butcher knife came flying out of the sink with the blade pointing down. My heart leapt out of my chest and I instinctually moved my legs in front of Ash to protect him. Thankfully the knife landed a good foot away from Ash and my legs, but those couple seconds were utterly terrifying and I felt incredibly guilty about being careless. Since then Z and I have had a serious talk about not leaving butcher knives in the sink. Oy, it was so terrible. I still shudder when I think about it.

ATXmommas

Karlamo said:

I'll kick this off!

Before we had R, I thought we'd be more open to the colors/types of clothes we put on him.  We were team green and we bought a handful of clothes, some girl.  After he was born we put a girl onsie on him.  He just didn't look right in it.  I think it was the scalloped collar that really put us over the comfort zone.  So for now we won't be dressing him in anymore girl clothes unless he asks. 

This one I posted on our BMB confession thread.  I get annoyed when people say to R that he'll drive the girls crazy or his wife will be lucky etc..  I always correct them and say he may drive the boys crazy and his husband will be lucky.  We all know that despite what the tea party thinks, the chances of him being gay are slim.  We plan on loving him no matter who he decides to marry

 

 

 

I wish I was more open to Ash wearing more feminine clothing, but I'm not. Even clothes that are meant for boys that are feminine turn me off for him. Don't know why, but it does. We will certainly oblige, though, he he starts to display a preference for feminine things as he gets older.

In regards to your second confession, sane thing here! Even Z always makes comments about driving the girls crazy and I always correct her. Along those lines, I do refuse to put him in any clothes that say "Ladies Man" or anything if the sort on him.

Karlamo

ATXmommas said:

Funny/gross confession - Ash was in an acute teething phase a few weeks ago, which coincidentally was at the same time I was sick with a virus. He puked in the MON in his crib, so we stripped his mattress and put him in bed with us. An hour or two later he puked all over our bed. It's a much bigger pain in the rear to change the sheets on our bed, so, yeah, we just wiped everything up with a wet cloth, laid a towel down, and went back to sleep. :P This is only a confession because it's something I for sure thought I would do, but I haven't signed even once with my son. My child's hair slightly resembles a mullet right now. Hahaha. And this one is serious and totally horrifying to talk about. I was washing dishes the other day and Ash was crawling around underfoot. I digger down under some dishes to get the scrubber. As I did that, a butcher knife came flying out of the sink with the blade pointing down. My heart leapt out of my chest and I instinctually moved my legs in front of Ash to protect him. Thankfully the knife landed a good foot away from Ash and my legs, but those couple seconds were utterly terrifying and I felt incredibly guilty about being careless. Since then Z and I have had a serious talk about not leaving butcher knives in the sink. Oy, it was so terrible. I still shudder when I think about it.

Don't feel bad about this.  I'm a certified ASL Interpreter and I've barely signed with R.  Just yesterday a co-worker asked what his first sign was and I had to confess I don't sign that often with him.  I'm going to start using ASL on the days I'm home with him. 

KH826

I also really hate the "ladies man" clothing for boys. Will doesn't have any, and I have mentioned it to both grandmothers that we don't like that, because I could see my mom buying him that stuff. Will does however have PJ's that say "Little Gentleman" and "Handsome" ... at first I wasn't sure about those either, but my wife really liked them and I warmed up to them. The problem is I don't think people like my mom really see a difference between "ladies man" and "little gentleman" no matter how we try to explain it... at the moment I have decided not to make it an issue, but we try to just avoid my mom seeing him in outfits with sayings of any kind on them so that she thinks those are off limits HAHA... this opens a bit of a can of worms for me because we have a lot of "rules" that are somewhat unspoken, but sometimes spoken about what we do and do not want family to buy for Will... we returned a lot of the clothing that was bought for him when he was first born. We had worked really hard to establish a "style" for Lucie when I was pregnant, and we made it clear (especially to my mom and my youngest sister, who needed to hear it most) that we were not into overly pink and frilly, etc. But then when we had a boy everyone just ran out and bought as whatever boy clothes they could find quickly b/c we had nothing and we got a lot that we hated. Including the outfit that we brought him home from the hospital in. My father-in-law went out and bought him a head-to-toe baseball uniform outfit that I really didn't like at all, but he was so excited and we didn't have the luxury of being able to pick something on our own... anyway, I guess my overall "confession" here is that we are super picky parents when it comes to clothes, toys and other things... and I am always afraid we are going to royally P-off family about it. I think my mom has bean annoyed on more than one occasion. My wife feels more strongly about it than I do, so that is also hard. There are a lot of things that I would let slide in order to make everyone else happy, but my wife is not that type of personality. Anyway, I do fear that at some point it will become a problem...

My wife really wants to get Will an amber necklace for teething, and I do not. I keep changing the subject when she brings it up in hope that she just drops it. I don't know why I feel strongly about it, but I seem to. It is totally silly, and I feel badly about it, but I just don't like them.

I am glad that I am not a SAHM because I don't think it would be a good fit for me. It is an awesome fit for my wife. She was made for this. At the same time though, I am a little jealous of my wife, and I know I have a complex about the fact that I feel like Will is more responsive to her and "likes her better" because they spend more time together. In some ways, I feel like we have the reverse situation to what a lot of lesbian moms have in terms of the carrying mom having more of a connection with the child. I keep thinking that maybe it is worse because I am not breast feeding. I truly think that I tried my best to make breast feeding work, and that it ended up being what was best for our family at the time for me to "give up" when I did. However everyone once in a while I still think to myself that I didn't try hard enough and now my connection with my son is suffering... I don't actually think that is true in my logical mind, but every once in a while I allow myself to emotionally think that...

I really want another baby. I really want to be pregnant again. I really want our kids to be close in age... but I really worry about us affording another baby in the next two years. I feel a really big burden on my shoulders being the only "bread winner" at the moment, and I just worry that I will let my family down financially if we can't make things work on the timeline that we would like.

JGY

ATXmommas said:

And this one is serious and totally horrifying to talk about. I was washing dishes the other day and Ash was crawling around underfoot. I digger down under some dishes to get the scrubber. As I did that, a butcher knife came flying out of the sink with the blade pointing down. My heart leapt out of my chest and I instinctually moved my legs in front of Ash to protect him. Thankfully the knife landed a good foot away from Ash and my legs, but those couple seconds were utterly terrifying and I felt incredibly guilty about being careless. Since then Z and I have had a serious talk about not leaving butcher knives in the sink. Oy, it was so terrible. I still shudder when I think about it.

we've had a few of these.  So scary.

I can't remember if I have confessed this yet or not, so here goes ... a few weeks back G had some really bad diaper rash so we were giving him some naked time in the evening.  I was solo parenting that night and as G went to walk into the playroom, he paused, grunted, and pooped on the floor.  I ran to get wipes to clean him up, wishing instead I had grabbed my camera.  Before I could get him wiped down, the dog had made a beeline for it an gobbled up that poop pile.  Mostly I was pissed because I didn't get the picture to send to S.  Gross.  Also, I kiss my dog.

 

JGY

ATXmommas said:

@karlamo - I'll kick this off!

Before we had R, I thought we'd be more open to the colors/types of clothes we put on him.  We were team green and we bought a handful of clothes, some girl.  After he was born we put a girl onsie on him.  He just didn't look right in it.  I think it was the scalloped collar that really put us over the comfort zone.  So for now we won't be dressing him in anymore girl clothes unless he asks. 

This one I posted on our BMB confession thread.  I get annoyed when people say to R that he'll drive the girls crazy or his wife will be lucky etc..  I always correct them and say he may drive the boys crazy and his husband will be lucky.  We all know that despite what the tea party thinks, the chances of him being gay are slim.  We plan on loving him no matter who he decides to marry

 

 

 

I wish I was more open to Ash wearing more feminine clothing, but I'm not. Even clothes that are meant for boys that are feminine turn me off for him. Don't know why, but it does. We will certainly oblige, though, he he starts to display a preference for feminine things as he gets older. In regards to your second confession, sane thing here! Even Z always makes comments about driving the girls crazy and I always correct her. Along those lines, I do refuse to put him in any clothes that say "Ladies Man" or anything if the sort on him.

We are also (unexpectedly) team boy clothes.  The big test for me will come with painting fingernails.  As with clothes, if he asks for it I will certainly do it.  But I don't know if I'll bust out the nailpolish unprompted and ask if he wants to try it.

 

redrockmama

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

my confession is pretty tame, I was supposed to be at work an hour ago. M is having a rough morning and freaks out everytime I put him down to get ready. I'm still home nursing him. I don't know how single parents do it. At this rate I'm going to be 2 hours late.

ATXmommas

redrockmama said:

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

I'm totally game for pink clothes (I love pink on boys/men), but admittedly I would only pick out ones in a masculine cut right now.

KH826

ATXmommas said:

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

I'm totally game for pink clothes (I love pink on boys/men), but admittedly I would only pick out ones in a masculine cut right now.

Our boy wears a lot of coral. It is also one of my favorite colors on him. He also wears lots of mint green, and some purple. We have no problem with colors that are typically on the more feminine end of the spectrum. With that said, we do shop for him exclusively in the boys' section. We will have no issue reacting positively should he wish to wear girls' clothes in the future; however, for now while we are dressing him and he is too young to know the difference, we will dress him in boys' clothes, or neutral clothes, but all colors are welcome!

We have literally 8 bins of girls' clothes in our basement, but we chose to pack those away with a handful of exceptions after we brought will home. Our decision to not use more of the "girl stuff" we had before he was born was originally driven more by our desire to get things that were "specifically for William" as well as keep things that were given to us specifically for Lucie for her to have some day as her own. Because under no uncertain terms we still plan to have our Lucie someday.

JGY

This confession has absolutely NOTHING to do with IRL parenting, but it just happened and I have to share because I'm processing.

There is a young woman at work who recently got married and is talking about TTC soon.  She is the sweetest of the sweet, and has come to me on a number of occasions to talk and get support.  Anyway ... she just told me that she "Knows" that I'm a fantastic Mom because (in her words) "You're totally my Mom here at work."  The confession is that this totally bummed me out.  Seriously.  Ouch.  In my mind we were more like mismatched work-BFFs. 

Get a grip JGY ... she's like, 24 and you're 40.  You actually, physically, COULD be her Mom.

 

ATXmommas

JGY said:

This confession has absolutely NOTHING to do with IRL parenting, but it just happened and I have to share because I'm processing.

There is a young woman at work who recently got married and is talking about TTC soon.  She is the sweetest of the sweet, and has come to me on a number of occasions to talk and get support.  Anyway ... she just told me that she "Knows" that I'm a fantastic Mom because (in her words) "You're totally my Mom here at work."  The confession is that this totally bummed me out.  Seriously.  Ouch.  In my mind we were more like mismatched work-BFFs. 

Get a grip JGY ... she's like, 24 and you're 40.  You actually, physically, COULD be her Mom.

 

Ouch.

ATXmommas

KH826 said:

ATXmommas said:

redrockmama said:

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

I'm totally game for pink clothes (I love pink on boys/men), but admittedly I would only pick out ones in a masculine cut right now.

Our boy wears a lot of coral. It is also one of my favorite colors on him. He also wears lots of mint green, and some purple. We have no problem with colors that are typically on the more feminine end of the spectrum. With that said, we do shop for him exclusively in the boys' section. We will have no issue reacting positively should he wish to wear girls' clothes in the future; however, for now while we are dressing him and he is too young to know the difference, we will dress him in boys' clothes, or neutral clothes, but all colors are welcome!

-----------

This exactly for us. Except for purple... Now I want to go find some purple!

ATXmommas

@KH826‌ - will is always dressed so cute. Where do y'all like to shop for him?

KH826

We have a purple polo that is super cute!

OK... I have a new one...

For some reason all of a sudden a bunch of my coworkers seem to magically not know that I am gay. I have worked here for 5 yrs and have always been open about it, and my wife has come to TONS of functions with me over the years. This came up a few weeks ago when a coworker that I have worked with for literally 4 yrs said to me "Your son looks so long! How tall is your husband?"... Really?!?! I was kind of shocked. So I corrected him, and then said our donor was 5'11". He seemed completely baffled. I have mentioned my wife in conversations with him before many times. How did he not know? So, then I told a close friend of mine at work about this in disbelief, and she replied that she thinks a lot of people don't know. She told me that when I had Will she went in to tell the President of our company that I had him, and she said "KH and her wife had their baby..." and apparently the President stopped her mid-sentence and said "Wait, her what?"... then he laughed and said "I'm so glad we aren't in the mid-west, that's why I love Philadelphia".... not sure how I feel about that. But how did HE not know? I work closely with him. He has MET my wife several times. Who did he think she was?....

Well, just today I was at the coffee machine at work and a coworker came up and said "oh, you must like green, this is the second day in a row that you are wearing green." I laughed and said, "oh, I guess I do like it. I didn't realize I was wearing it two days in a row." Then she asked if I was Irish. I said no, that my family was actually Greek. Her response "Oh, then your last name must be your husband's name, then?" .... REALLY?!?!?! Who are these people and where are my coworkers? I have wedding pictures on my desk. My wife CAME TO MY WORK BABY SHOWER!

I have been out for 12 yrs. Everywhere I have worked since I graduated college, I have been out at work. I know I don't "look like a stereotypical lesbian," but I really am still shocked that so many of my coworkers apparently didn't know. And is this only coming up a lot recently because I had a baby? Does that make me seem more straight? I guess... I am just a little baffled, and a little annoyed, and a little tired...

Here comes the confession: I am tired of coming out over and over again at work, and it is getting to the point where I am considering not correcting people if they are people I am not close to because it isn't worth the effort and I am tired. That isn't like me. But I am over it.

Oh, and remember how I have been wanting a new job? How I am getting the itch to tackle something new? .... this makes me want to make a move less. Because then I have to start all over again with a whole new company and a whole new set of coworkers who don't know. And I am an open book and have absolutely no hesitation in telling my coworkers I am gay, and it if is not received well that is a place that I don't want to work. But I am tired. And now I sound like an old lady.... what is my deal?

Can anyone else relate to any of this rant? HAHA!

redrockmama

Ugh wow @KH826 that is crazy and exhausting. I definitely have felt that having a baby makes me look "straight". I can't believe they didn't, especially after meeting your wife and such. I think it's just so hard for people to wrap their heads around sometimes and just go back to their husband/wife default way of thinking, especially when babies are involved. That must be really frustrating though. 

I'm lucky to work at a very small office and 3 of my coworkers (including my boss) are gay, which is almost half of us! Most of the volunteers I work with know and have met my wife at various events. On my first day back though, one of my volunteers asked if the baby was home with my husband. She's a much older, Muslim woman so I didn't correct her, I just said he was with the nanny. Does that make me lose my gay activist card? 

bfonz619

KH826 said:

We have a purple polo that is super cute!

OK... I have a new one...

For some reason all of a sudden a bunch of my coworkers seem to magically not know that I am gay. I have worked here for 5 yrs and have always been open about it, and my wife has come to TONS of functions with me over the years. This came up a few weeks ago when a coworker that I have worked with for literally 4 yrs said to me "Your son looks so long! How tall is your husband?"... Really?!?! I was kind of shocked. So I corrected him, and then said our donor was 5'11". He seemed completely baffled. I have mentioned my wife in conversations with him before many times. How did he not know? So, then I told a close friend of mine at work about this in disbelief, and she replied that she thinks a lot of people don't know. She told me that when I had Will she went in to tell the President of our company that I had him, and she said "KH and her wife had their baby..." and apparently the President stopped her mid-sentence and said "Wait, her what?"... then he laughed and said "I'm so glad we aren't in the mid-west, that's why I love Philadelphia".... not sure how I feel about that. But how did HE not know? I work closely with him. He has MET my wife several times. Who did he think she was?....

Well, just today I was at the coffee machine at work and a coworker came up and said "oh, you must like green, this is the second day in a row that you are wearing green." I laughed and said, "oh, I guess I do like it. I didn't realize I was wearing it two days in a row." Then she asked if I was Irish. I said no, that my family was actually Greek. Her response "Oh, then your last name must be your husband's name, then?" .... REALLY?!?!?! Who are these people and where are my coworkers? I have wedding pictures on my desk. My wife CAME TO MY WORK BABY SHOWER!

I have been out for 12 yrs. Everywhere I have worked since I graduated college, I have been out at work. I know I don't "look like a stereotypical lesbian," but I really am still shocked that so many of my coworkers apparently didn't know. And is this only coming up a lot recently because I had a baby? Does that make me seem more straight? I guess... I am just a little baffled, and a little annoyed, and a little tired...

Here comes the confession: I am tired of coming out over and over again at work, and it is getting to the point where I am considering not correcting people if they are people I am not close to because it isn't worth the effort and I am tired. That isn't like me. But I am over it.

Oh, and remember how I have been wanting a new job? How I am getting the itch to tackle something new? .... this makes me want to make a move less. Because then I have to start all over again with a whole new company and a whole new set of coworkers who don't know. And I am an open book and have absolutely no hesitation in telling my coworkers I am gay, and it if is not received well that is a place that I don't want to work. But I am tired. And now I sound like an old lady.... what is my deal?

Can anyone else relate to any of this rant? HAHA!

Wow, that is frustrating.  I have been out since I was 15 and have gotten to a point where I no longer "come out" but, merely make corrections, where needed, and carry on the conversation as usual. 

My confession; I didn't realize how connected to our donor I would feel.  Connected in the sense of feeling as though I wouldn't mind if he wanted to play some role in the child's life (other than parental.)  His plan is to relocate after we conceive, a plan he already had in motion before we met but has since put on hold, and is open to contact when the child turns 18.  Apart of me is a little sad about this even though it is exactly what we were looking for in our search for a donor.

JGY

Flygirl1228 said:

  My confession. I was wearing Quinn at the store and our old car didn't have the push button to close the door automatically, I kinda got her head with the trunk door. I felt so bad but she didn't even cry.

Uh yeah.  I swear I bump G's head on the car door every GD day when I bring him to daycare.  I'll have to check for sure, but I think he flinches now every time we get close.  Poor kid.

2brides

JGY said:

Get a grip JGY ... she's like, 24 and you're 40.  You actually, physically, COULD be her Mom.

This made me laugh. A few years ago, I was at a reception for a college program we have at work. i didn't really know anyone and was standing around when someone came up and asked me if I was the parent of one of the college students. I was horrified until I realized I COULD be the parent of a college student.

redrockmama

ATXmommas said:

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

I'm totally game for pink clothes (I love pink on boys/men), but admittedly I would only pick out ones in a masculine cut right now.

Sorry if that sounded judgy I should have finished more of my thought process. I've struggled with why I'm ok putting a girl in boy clothes, but have a harder time putting our boy in girly clothes. We shopped almost exclusively in the boys section when we were team green. We just don't like the frilly ruffles, bows, and shirts that say how cute, precious, spoiled and such the baby is, which seems to be all girl clothes. So, my sister gave us a big bag of clothes that were my nieces (she is 16 months now). We passed most of them on, but kept a few things. We also picked up some pink pj's at the kid to kid store a couple weeks ago. I do prefer boy clothes in general, for all kids, I just happen to like pink too. Hopefully that makes more sense.

And for fun, Thijs in his pink pj's 

mallory4284

redrockmama said:

ATXmommas said:

redrockmama said:

I love dressing M in pink, he looks so cute! Pink is my favorite color. I hate most girl clothes so we didn't buy many, but we have a couple pink things for him. He's fittingly wearing pink pj's right now.

I'm totally game for pink clothes (I love pink on boys/men), but admittedly I would only pick out ones in a masculine cut right now.

Sorry if that sounded judgy I should have finished more of my thought process. I've struggled with why I'm ok putting a girl in boy clothes, but have a harder time putting our boy in girly clothes. We shopped almost exclusively in the boys section when we were team green. We just don't like the frilly ruffles, bows, and shirts that say how cute, precious, spoiled and such the baby is, which seems to be all girl clothes. So, my sister gave us a big bag of clothes that were my nieces (she is 16 months now). We passed most of them on, but kept a few things. We also picked up some pink pj's at the kid to kid store a couple weeks ago. I do prefer boy clothes in general, for all kids, I just happen to like pink too. Hopefully that makes more sense.

And for fun, Thijs in his pink pj's

-----------------

How do you pronounce his name? I saw you type out his name in a previous post and thought maybe it was a typo... Oops

mallory4284

I want to reply to everyone's but I'm too lazy to go back and reread so I can respond accordingly! Ack!

Hmmm confessions.... I had one (of sorts) on another board but don't feel like getting into it again. But I'll confess that the flack I got from other people (strangers at that) about it really got to me a lot more than it should have. Like I legit feel like a bad person now even though I still stand by decision that was of an unpopular nature for a lot of people. Why do I care so much what other people (especially strangers) think about me??

Other than that.... Along the lines of "coming out" at work, as open as I am, I don't offer out that information unless I'm asked specifics. I've causally mentioned my GF while talking to parents but I'm not out in the open about it with them. Most of the people I work with know I'm gay, but, again, I didn't tell anyone about it until directly asked about a significant other... Even though I don't dress very feminine, apparently I don't really come off as gay. There are actually two other lesbians at work and I guess the one girl didn't believe the other girl when she told her I was gay?

Luckily I work for a very "gay friendly" company and I've never been afraid to be open about it there.

redrockmama

My bad...it's Ma-tyce 

ma like duh, tyce like mice. It's Dutch, he's named after my great-grandfather.

mallory4284

Ah, okay... That's a cool name....So is Thijs like a nickname? (assuming there's a slightly longer version that includes an M?)

2brides

I have a friend who has a son named Thijs. Her husband is Dutch - very cool name.

redrockmama

Yeah..geez I am struggling today haha. His full name is Matthijs

Jazibel

Great confessions, almost each of these could be mine.  @KH826 - I'm scratching my head too wondering who your co-workers thought your wife was at events. Makes me wonder if people have thought the same thing about us! Probably.  LOL

I have to say I'm pretty reliant of "gender stereotype" clothing for Kaden (and Owen). I resonate with traditional "boy" colors more - though I love coral and purple too.  And they just don't look right in "girly" clothes. Then I find myself wishing we had a girl so I could embrace the more girly clothes. I'm open to tutus and pink clothes or whatever Kaden/Owen want. It's just how its been so far.

My confessions. I try to look like a good mom in front of other moms. For instance I watched a little girl this morning who was 2.5.  I made the kids a smoothie, with all my usual good ingredients, fruit, veggies, chia, coconut oil, etc.  But then I caught myself casually telling the mom like I was trying to impress her. OMG so embarrassing.

Our dining room table is pushed up against the wall, which makes several mirror boxes with delicate objects accessible. Right now Kaden is obsessed with the sea shells in one of the boxes - totally fine, but he's not allowed on the table. Well one day whilst potty training Kaden climbed up on the table diaper and underwear -less and took a poop on the table while playing with the shells. I discovered it right away and tried to not freak out (and scare him). Gross Gross - blech blech blech!!!!!!  I have cleaned it thoroughly multiple times.....  And I haven't even told EV yet. Whoops.

This is a big one.  I'm not sure I've written about this before? Maybe..  Before Kaden was born EV came up with the idea to ask my childhood BFF if she and her husband wanted to be our godparents.  EV and N (my BFF) never really got along - longer story. So I think EV felt like she was being nice to me by offering this option. Anyway N was thrilled. Later we found out that A & S (EV's brother and his wife) were upset that we didn't ask them.  Fast forward a year or so. My friend N has become increasingly sure she and her husband want to live childfree lives. Its one of the things she talks about most. How they like to travel the world, go out to fancy dinners, live in a one bedroom apartment in great neighborhood in Manhattan.... Anyway we've since had Owen and are now feeling like our decision was hasty and not realistic. I'm sure if anything were to happen to us N and her husband would take great care of the boys, but it wouldn't fit in with their life plan, and might include a permanent move to Europe, etc. which would keep the boys away from their cousins and grandparents. I love N like a sister, but she is a little insecure. If I bring up our change of heart she will be devastated and it will likely have lasting effects on our relationship. (I gave a short funny speech at her wedding, that I ad-libbed on the spot because I was last of 10 speeches and people were just done, done done.  I am still explaining why I made that decisions and ensuring N that I do indeed love her with all the sappiness that wasn't expressed in that speech). Sigh.... Not sure what to do...

ATXmommas

@redrockmama‌ - I didn't think you were being judgmental at all! Not in the least. And M is flippin' adorable (as always) in his pink jammies!

@KH826‌ - yeah, that's a head scratcher. I haven't had that problem at my workplace, so I have no clue. I'm with jazibel - who in the world did they think your wife was at all these functions? So strange.

@mallory4284‌ - not caring what strangers think of me - I'm working on that too!

@Jazibel‌ - that's a tough spot, but clearly you have to do what's best for the boys. You aren't responsible for her inability to recognize why you made your decision if it comes to that. On a lighter note, your poop story is hilarious (as is @JGY's)!!!!

2momsinCA

@redrockmama‌ I totally agree about boy clothes. I love boy clothes far more than girls. I'm not a fan of pinks, glitter, ruffles, etc. we are so happy we have boys. Not even for the overly boy stuff but just because we aren't fans of the girly girl stuff. However if our boys eventually choose to wear pinks and ruffles then we think that's awesome!

mallory4284

Just thought of a confession that I feel guilt about....

Back story: back in June, J's 19 yr old brother "announced" (via a FB pic of a new tattoo of a cancer ribbon with the word survivor underneath) that he had colon cancer.... Turns out he had known about it for about a month prior to this and hadn't told anybody.

My confession is that I haven't been super supportive and there for J about it because it all seems so fishy. Though in my defense even J has voiced how she doesn't think that everything adds up.

He's been very secretive about everything. And in the beginning he was telling everybody all these conflicting stories. One person was told he took some pills and it went away. Another that he took pills and it shrunk. Another that it spread to his intestines. And so on....

And when it first came out J of course went protective big sister on him and everytime she tried to talk to him about it or offer to go to a Dr's appt with him, he got super shitty with her. He refuses to let anyone go to appts with him (even their dad) and essentially insists on doing everything on his own.

I don't know if he's trying to be more "adult" or "manly" by trying to go through this all alone, but I hate how he's treated J and essentially the rest of his family like their feelings about it all don't matter and they don't need to know what's going on.

Yesterday he updated on FB that he was potentially going to be taken off chemo sooner than expected because the cancer cells in his body have lowered. According to J, he's been taking chemo pills.

side note: I have no experience with cancer in my family aside from an aunt that had breast cancer and had chemo and eventually a mastectomy.... Are "chemo pills" even a real thing?

I just can't take anything he says about it seriously because of how he's acted since telling everyone about it. Not to mention how he won't let any of his family be there as support and a second ear to listen and ask questions he may not think of when he goes to Dr's appts. (I know he's technically an adult but he's only 19 and still a "kid" in my eyes.... And I think he should have someone there to help him sort it all out)

Anyway sorry for the long ramble. Just had to get that off my chest!

jocie626

@mallory4284. The pills for chemo are real I know from experience but everything about his story sounds fishy. Sorry to nose in your confession.

mallory4284

@jocie626‌ no need to be sorry... I honestly had never heard of chemo pills so I was hoping someone who knew firsthand could help me... and based on him not seeming to know anything about anything (for example, he kept saying he didn't know when any of his appts were... Basically that his Dr hadn't told him anything) I wasn't sure he even knew what he was talking about when he said he had chemo pills....

ATXmommas

Forgot about this one - I fished a piece of dog food out of Ash's mouth yesterday. Must have been a stray piece on the floor because Bama doesn't leave anything behind.

Also, I had a fleeting thought yesterday that I should just stop pumping already. But too close to the year mark for that to make much sense. I just really hate it even though I feel fortunate to have made it this long.

jocie626

@mallory4284‌ I completely understand. They are strong n most ppl dont get as sick with this pill as they do with the port and IV stuff but im not sure if the concoctions are the same for every cancer.

herbunmyoven

I am worried that getting pregnant will hurt my career. My wife is a SAHM so I feel a lot of pressure to provide for the family.  I work for a pretty male dominate organization, but have some how made my non-girlishness work for me. I fly under the radar and get treated with more respect than my straight female peers. I am worried that having a bump will make people think of me differently. It will put the fact that I have a vagina front and center! I am also worried that taking a full maternity leave (which I completely intend on doing) will make me look weak or less committed. My direct boss is super supportive, but the company does not offer paternity leave so most of the guys I work with take less than a week off when their wives have babies.

On the clothing front- we dress M in boy clothes because we got a crap ton of hand-me downs. The next baby will probably wear most of those clothes regardless of sex. 

ball.and.chain

Yesterday I drove around running errands with B, and the whole time he wasn't strapped into his car seat. In it, but unbuckled. Yikes.

ATXmommas

ball.and.chain said:

Yesterday I drove around running errands with B, and the whole time he wasn't strapped into his car seat. In it, but unbuckled. Yikes.

Been there, done that. Fortunately, once you've done it once, it probably won't happen a second time.

JGY

CrazyAunt84 said:

On that note - I sometimes want to punch strangers in the face. C and I went to the NYS Fair last week, and we walked into the ladies bathroom. This old lady gasped as C walked out after washing her hands and said to me "Did you just see that man?!?" I explained that she was a woman, not a man. The lady said "no, that was a man. I just saw him!" I told her no, that's my wife, and she gets that a lot, so no worries - but I was 100% sure she was in the correct bathroom for her gender. STILL the woman - now joined by a second woman - argued "you're wrong. That was just a man in here. A MAN in the ladies bathroom. Aweful. Just horrid. Someone should do something about it." I walked away.

What the heck is wrong with people? I never jump down someone's throat, and I only correct them in the bathroom because it could be a problem for C if I didn't. It does happen ALL the time, and usually people just say "oh my, I'm so sorry". This is the first time someone has had an all out argument with me, and honestly, I wanted to punch her.

This makes me ragey.  Some of my rugby teammates used to regularly take me along when frequenting a public restroom.  I was their "Chapperone" in case we ran into ingnorant imbeciles. 

And also, I understand that they may disagree with the politics, but what part of "That's my wife" do they not understand?

KH826

@CrazyAunt84 - I am enraged about this too! What the heck?!?! I am really sorry this happened. People are dumb. That is really all I can say - people are so dumb.

herbunmyoven

@CrazyAunt84 This used to happen to me all of the time...still does once in a while. I don't even consider myself to be super butch, more of a chapstick lesbian with shorter hair. 

This is honestly the biggest reason why I am not considering putting M in gender ambiguous clothes until he is old enough to have his own preferences. We keep things fairly neutral...although there are a ton of dinos in his wardrobe, but I don't want him to feel the pain I felt about people questioning my sex. I know this is probably fairly unpopular here.