@barista411 it was your middle paragraph that seemed judgy. Like drinkers are mixing up a round of gin and tonics for their LOs.
I drink. I don't feel the need to defend or minimize it. I do so at a level that I'm comfortable with.
It's a-ok with me if you choose not to. My hometown is the seat of Bob Jones. Really, there have been plenty of people in my life who have opted not to, although the ones I've encountered have chosen religious reasons.
I spent 4 1/2 years in your hometown. Nice spot. My friends and I enjoyed downtown before the renaissance down there, and I've heard it's even better now. Also, I may or may not have attended the institution you speak of.
Wait up, like attended on purpose or forced to go? I thought this guy was a supporter of the KKK?!
well I'm late to the party. That escalated and went away quickly.
I just want to say that caffeine and alcohol are comparable in my book. If you're chuggin mass quantities of coffee and raising an eyebrow at those that choose a glass or two of wine...time to step back and think before you type.
ETA: Not directed at any one person. Just my opinion on "drugs" in general. I partake in both caffeine and alcohol and BF responsibly.
In a general sense I agree that both are a substance with mood altering and addictive qualities, but since we established that the gals here have an objection to alcohol because of painful experiences in the past I don't think
it's same.
I've never met anyone who talked about their GD coffee addict dad hitting their mom and gambling away all their belongings.
@Yez9 do you still wear the skirts though? I now want to ask you all of the myths that non-BJUers have about that place. I was downtown a few weeks ago when I went home. It's amazing! The green space puts everywhere else I've lived to shame.
@DebateThis now I'm curious...
I grew up in Hendersonville. Our families still live there, and my homeschool curriculum came from BJU. Ah, BJU, the great big sweaty ball sac of the south. With a side of Jesus hair.
Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
I get that and I'm sympathetic to that. My reply was in now way aimed at those who struggle with alcohol based on painful history or experiences. It was more towards the idea that some trace amounts of alcohol could be ingested by my daughter, and I am somehow willfully hurting her so I can get a buzz WHEN we all post about how much coffee we need to get us through the day.
I wanted to point out that even though some may not drink alcohol, many/most of us consume caffeine. Whether you consume alcohol or caffeine - if you are doing so responsibly, I support that shit.
Basically...idunno.
I get it. If I can expand on it ...
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or - I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
*messed up quote box*
Gotcha. I agree. If I were BFing the thought of my kid having any caffeine would scare the bejesus out of me because, hyper.
*raises hand*
I don't drink. Never have, never will. I don't judge you if you do, though, as long as you're responsible about it.
I don't drink coffee either (I know). I occasionally drink crio bru, which is made just like coffee, but it's cocoa beans, not coffee beans.
I always feel weird about posting on the drinking threads, since I have no idea what it's like to be drunk.
Hmmm. I may have to try this crio bru you speak of.
Me too! does it taste like hot chcocolate?
Not entirely, but kind of! You do need to put sweetener in it, because it is bitter like coffee, but after that, it's pretty comparable to hot chocolate.
I get mine from Amazon. I get the Ivory Coast blend and it's delicious.
Wait. @barista411 you went there, too?! My brain just exploded at the thought that there were so many future Bumpies at one point geographically close to me.
Demerits for going to movies? Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?Chaperones for dates? No interracial dating? Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
Just, you know, off the top of my head.
Eta: words
Covering up sexual assaults/blaming victims, denying the existence of evolution.... all in a day's work.
Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
Wait. @barista411 you went there, too?! My brain just exploded at the thought that there were so many future Bumpies at one point geographically close to me.
Demerits for going to movies? Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?Chaperones for dates? No interracial dating? Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
Just, you know, off the top of my head.
Eta: words
I mentioned that in the post I poofed. Sorry I poofed it before you got a chance to read it. Yes I went there.
Demerits for going to movies? Yes they consider it stumbling block to other Christians because you could be going to see Bambi but another believer could think that you were going to see an R-rated movie and perceive you as commuting a sin and you would never want to be seen or let people you were commiting a sin.
Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies? Yes
Chaperones for dates? Yes and at one point there was 1 foot rule where you couldn't be closer than 1 foot to your date.
No interracial dating? This was a hush-hush rule. I can't remember if it was actually in the rules but many interracial were eventually "shipped" (their word for expelled) they would find any reason they could to expell them.
Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them? That I'm not sure about. I wouldn't surprise me. They actually have a really messed up system because the college is not accredited so graduates have a hard time getting jobs and normally end up staying.
Wait. @barista411 you went there, too?! My brain just exploded at the thought that there were so many future Bumpies at one point geographically close to me.
Demerits for going to movies? Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?Chaperones for dates? No interracial dating? Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
Just, you know, off the top of my head.
Eta: words
Covering up sexual assaults/blaming victims, denying the existence of evolution.... all in a day's work.
So fucking nuts. I hate to imagine what the primary education consisted of, @DebateThis.
I had my share of BJU teachers through the years. They were quick to more or less slut shame for things like a shirt that rides up when you bend over. One in particular loved tornado drills for that very reason and would hand out detention like it was candy.
Another tried to tell us that dinosaurs were a government conspiracy.
Did I mention this was public school?
They are under investigation for slut shaming rape victims. It is disgusting and also part of the reason I have (some) of the issues I do.
Wait. @barista411 you went there, too?! My brain just exploded at the thought that there were so many future Bumpies at one point geographically close to me.
Demerits for going to movies? Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?Chaperones for dates? No interracial dating? Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
Just, you know, off the top of my head.
Eta: words
Covering up sexual assaults/blaming victims, denying the existence of evolution.... all in a day's work.
So fucking nuts. I hate to imagine what the primary education consisted of, @DebateThis.
My parents are pretty close to fundies, but even they drew the line when the 10th grade BIOLOGY text started with "In the beginning, God created everything" and had a sketch of Adam and Eve.
Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
Wait. @barista411 you went there, too?! My brain just exploded at the thought that there were so many future Bumpies at one point geographically close to me.
Demerits for going to movies? Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?Chaperones for dates? No interracial dating? Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
Just, you know, off the top of my head.
Eta: words
Covering up sexual assaults/blaming victims, denying the existence of evolution.... all in a day's work.
So fucking nuts. I hate to imagine what the primary education consisted of, @DebateThis.
My parents are pretty close to fundies, but even they drew the line when the 10th grade BIOLOGY text started with "In the beginning, God created everything" and had a sketch of Adam and Eve.
I get that and I'm sympathetic to that. My reply was in now way aimed at those who struggle with alcohol based on painful history or experiences. It was more towards the idea that some trace amounts of alcohol could be ingested by my daughter, and I am somehow willfully hurting her so I can get a buzz WHEN we all post about how much coffee we need to get us through the day.
I wanted to point out that even though some may not drink alcohol, many/most of us consume caffeine. Whether you consume alcohol or caffeine - if you are doing so responsibly, I support that shit.
Basically...idunno.
I get it. If I can expand on it ...
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or - I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
-------- I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
I get that and I'm sympathetic to that. My reply was in now way aimed at those who struggle with alcohol based on painful history or experiences. It was more towards the idea that some trace amounts of alcohol could be ingested by my daughter, and I am somehow willfully hurting her so I can get a buzz WHEN we all post about how much coffee we need to get us through the day.
I wanted to point out that even though some may not drink alcohol, many/most of us consume caffeine. Whether you consume alcohol or caffeine - if you are doing so responsibly, I support that shit.
Basically...idunno.
I get it. If I can expand on it ...
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or - I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
--------
I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
I get that and I'm sympathetic to that. My reply was in now way aimed at those who struggle with alcohol based on painful history or experiences. It was more towards the idea that some trace amounts of alcohol could be ingested by my daughter, and I am somehow willfully hurting her so I can get a buzz WHEN we all post about how much coffee we need to get us through the day.
I wanted to point out that even though some may not drink alcohol, many/most of us consume caffeine. Whether you consume alcohol or caffeine - if you are doing so responsibly, I support that shit.
Basically...idunno.
I get it. If I can expand on it ...
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or - I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
-------- I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
------- Sorry I thought she was still trying To saying I was accusing mom's who drink of being bad moms. Which for the 1000th time I am not.
This thread may drive me to drink.
Eta: Maybe I am still not reading this correctly. Explain it to me if I am not. I do not believe that drinking and being a bad mom are mutually exclusive. I put it on the same level as picking purées vs BLW or sleep training methods or sugar before 1 vs making them wait vs natural vs medicated birth. It is a choice that I made for my family and my kids. I don't care what decision other decisions moms make for their kids. It's none of my business.
I've been vocal about my personal issues with an alcoholic. I have set some "ground rules" for myself regarding alcohol, but I enjoy drinking socially. To each their own, I think it just comes down to moderation for me. I am partaking in my first "girl's night" tomorrow since Layla was born, so give me allllll the rum and coke!
-------- I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
I think you missed my point.
But, while we're here, your child can't have fruit because of trace amounts of alcohol?
----- I hate mobile quoting ------ Oh come on. Yes my kids have fruit but no they are not grabbing a glass of mouthwash to wash down their dinner.
-------- I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
----- I hate mobile quoting ------ Oh come on. Yes my kids have fruit but no they are not grabbing a glass of mouthwash to wash down their dinner.
I wasn't snarking. I was reading exactly what you wrote (see bolded).
My bad I am trying to read quickly while the kids are entertained. I missed the fruit.
I give up. I gotta kid crying about the clothes I picked out for her.
@barista411 DD threw a massive fit this morning because she wanted two braids not one. After I had already done the knot braid with bow at the end. So she ended up with pigtail buns. I feel your pain!
@karissa2009 I have had the same feelings towards how can people stop at just one. It took me a long long time to realize that just because someone comes home and has a beer it doesn't mean they will lose control and keep drinking to excess.
The way I feel about alcohol has been conditioned into me since I was a little kid and it's hard for me to comprehend that people drink without getting drunk and losing control. (Logically I know that it's possible and people do it all the time, but my life experiences have shown me otherwise)
I have all the feels about this subject and feel like I don't express myself well enough to not offend anyone, because I really don't think that there is anything wrong with drinking as long as you have control over it but I've never had an example of that in my life so it's hard for me to grasp it for myself. Does that make sense?
@karissa2009 I think that's part of it. Since everyone I know that doesn't drink chooses not to because they have seen family abuse it I think they feel like everyone does. Like having even a drop of alcohol is irresponsible. Not saying that's the case here.
I've seen almost every family member drink and nobody ever had an alcohol problem. I come from a place of thinking it's fine and I don't assume anyone is being irresponsible; drinking in moderation is healthy and acceptable.
I feel like I should jump in and tell all the drinkers that if you live near a total wine and more (aka heaven) they have all the summer beers on clearance! I just got a 12 pack of Sierra Nevada summer ale for $8.99! Happy Labor Day for this mama!!!
<>
Married to DH since 4/2008, mommy to three beautiful boys 9/09, 10/11, 11/13
Re: Does anyone NOT drink the alcohol?
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or
- I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
*messed up quote box*
Gotcha. I agree. If I were BFing the thought of my kid having any caffeine would scare the bejesus out of me because, hyper.
To amazon I go!
Demerits for going to movies?
Yes they consider it stumbling block to other Christians because you could be going to see Bambi but another believer could think that you were going to see an R-rated movie and perceive you as commuting a sin and you would never want to be seen or let people you were commiting a sin.
Spies who actually drive around parking lots looking for BJU decals to give them demerits for going to the movies?
Yes
Chaperones for dates?
Yes and at one point there was 1 foot rule where you couldn't be closer than 1 foot to your date.
No interracial dating?
This was a hush-hush rule. I can't remember if it was actually in the rules but many interracial were eventually "shipped" (their word for expelled) they would find any reason they could to expell them.
Sending graduates out to infiltrate the regular folk and convert them?
That I'm not sure about. I wouldn't surprise me. They actually have a really messed up system because the college is not accredited so graduates have a hard time getting jobs and normally end up staying.
So fucking nuts. I hate to imagine what the primary education consisted of, @DebateThis.
Wow.
There are two separate things at play:
- I don't drink b/c of this horrible thing that happened to me and/or
- I don't drink b/c I'm a bad mom to pass trace amounts of alcohol through BM
You don't get a pass for insinuating one is a bad mom for bf'ing with a drink because you have had a bad past. They are mutually exclusive of one another.
I know we are done with this. But I think that's a really fair point.
--------
I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
--------
I made a choice that don't want them to ingest alcohol. This is one of many reason I choose not to drink right now.
It is similar to wether you want your child to have sugar or gluten.
Your examples (Mouthwash, soda, sauces, hand sanitizers, inhalers, vitamins, toiletries, medicine, fruit, sugarless candy, laundry detergent, bleach, etc. ) are things they either don't ingest or won't have until they are older or I just don't let them have.
-------
Sorry I thought she was still trying To saying I was accusing mom's who drink of being bad moms. Which for the 1000th time I am not.
This thread may drive me to drink.
Eta: Maybe I am still not reading this correctly. Explain it to me if I am not. I do not believe that drinking and being a bad mom are mutually exclusive. I put it on the same level as picking purées vs BLW or sleep training methods or sugar before 1 vs making them wait vs natural vs medicated birth. It is a choice that I made for my family and my kids. I don't care what decision other decisions moms make for their kids. It's none of my business.
But, while we're here, your child can't have fruit because of trace amounts of alcohol?
----- I hate mobile quoting ------
Oh come on. Yes my kids have fruit but no they are not grabbing a glass of mouthwash to wash down their dinner.
My bad I am trying to read quickly while the kids are entertained. I missed the fruit.
I give up. I gotta kid crying about the clothes I picked out for her.
The way I feel about alcohol has been conditioned into me since I was a little kid and it's hard for me to comprehend that people drink without getting drunk and losing control. (Logically I know that it's possible and people do it all the time, but my life experiences have shown me otherwise)
I have all the feels about this subject and feel like I don't express myself well enough to not offend anyone, because I really don't think that there is anything wrong with drinking as long as you have control over it but I've never had an example of that in my life so it's hard for me to grasp it for myself. Does that make sense?
I've seen almost every family member drink and nobody ever had an alcohol
problem. I come from a place of thinking it's fine and I don't assume anyone is being irresponsible; drinking in moderation is healthy and acceptable.
LD sums up my kind of people.
And BJU is a fundamental Christian school. Think Duggars.