found out gender

AggieMom0809

Stargirlb said:

Oh gawd. that video. A young MALE OPINION. WTF DAD.

There are videos of little girls acting the same way.

AggieMom0809

nmrd said:

AggieMom0809 said:

Most men want to carry on the family name. My DH didn't have a problem with the first being a girl because we were planning on having more. My son is carrying on the family name. I feel sorry for the kids in school with the hyphenated names. It's harder on them to know which one to use. Then when you get to monogramming things, which one do you use? 

My parents ended up having more kids than originally planned. The youngest in our family is a boy. He's carrying on the family name with their son.

I have a hyphenated name. It's not that complicated. I don't know what you mean by "it's harder on them to know which one to use." Hard for the kid, classmates, teacher? Which what? There is one name. You use the hyphenated name. Monogramming is not a very big part of my life, but I'm assuming it's not that complicated. Use both letters. Or one. Or use first initial and last two initials with no middle name initial. I don't know why you would feel sorry for a kid for ostensibly having multiple families that care about them.

ETA: Granted, I didn't change my name until I got married. But really, most people aren't that dumb. They can figure it out.

For all of the above. there are only so many spots on official form and in many computer systems, a hyphen is not an accepted character in the name field. As for the monogramming, I get that that is not a problem/concern for most. Fonts do not allow for you to just put two letters for the last name and to just leave out the middle name would be telling your parents that the name they gave you wasn't good enough for you to keep.

LovelyLips

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope they come round after the birth. Ppl can be so insensitive.
I'd just remind DH that it's his fault it's a girl as it's the male that determines the sex! What a bunch of dingbats! Makes me sad.
As long as you're happy mama that's all that matters right now. As long as baba is healthy the sex shouldn't matter. Congrats on your girl!

aerotigergirl

AggieMom0809 said:

Yes, because monogramming things is on my top list of things to consider when naming my child. ............

Obviously you are not southern! Yes I have looked at how my kids monograms look and also made sure they don't spell anything in traditional fLm order.

I'm originally from the south, also, and my SIL is all about this monogramming thing. I think it is really dumb. It screams southern pretentiousness to me.

aerotigergirl

AggieMom0809 said:

jc51723 said:

Yes, because monogramming things is on my top list of things to consider when naming my child. ............

Obviously you are not southern! Yes I have looked at how my kids monograms look and also made sure they don't spell anything in traditional fLm order.

I'm from the south and this has never crossed my mind until tonight. And nope. Still don't care.

I didn't say from the south. I said "southern." Obviously you aren't either

Maebb

I am southern and don't care about monogramming or hyphenated last names. I mean, I might rethink a name if the kid's initials are ASS or something, but that's about it.

When someone has a different opinion, why do people feel the need to say things like:

- "You must not be southern."
- "We must not have a lot of scientists or engineers on this board."
- "You ladies must be hormonal."

No. Maybe people just disagree sometimes.

amiej1227

Just because you have a boy doesn't mean it will carry on the family name. I have one brother, he married a woman who already has kids and will not have any more. He was the only one to carry on the name and honesty though I'm sad he won't have any kids of his own. I don't think he cares too much.

So even with you having a boy there's always a chance the family name will end there.

TXUltraRunner

Maebb said:

I am southern and don't care about monogramming or hyphenated last names. I mean, I might rethink a name if the kid's initials are ASS or something, but that's about it. When someone has a different opinion, why do people feel the need to say things like: - "You must not be southern." - "We must not have a lot of scientists or engineers on this board." - "You ladies must be hormonal." No. Maybe people just disagree sometimes.

You forgot it's "because we're pretty" on your list

jc51723

AggieMom0809 said:

jc51723 said:

Yes, because monogramming things is on my top list of things to consider when naming my child. ............

Obviously you are not southern! Yes I have looked at how my kids monograms look and also made sure they don't spell anything in traditional fLm order.

I'm from the south and this has never crossed my mind until tonight. And nope. Still don't care.

I didn't say from the south. I said "southern." Obviously you aren't either

Oh honey, aren't you just a peach. Well if being "southern" requires me to share your attitudes then no, I'm not.

LaBellaVida

jc51723 said:

AggieMom0809 said:

jc51723 said:

AggieMom0809 said:

Roxycc55 said:

Yes, because monogramming things is on my top list of things to consider when naming my child.

............

Obviously you are not southern! Yes I have looked at how my kids monograms look and also made sure they don't spell anything in traditional fLm order.

I'm from the south and this has never crossed my mind until tonight. And nope. Still don't care.

I didn't say from the south. I said "southern." Obviously you aren't either

Oh honey, aren't you just a peach. Well if being "southern" requires me to share your attitudes then no, I'm not.


^^ I read that in a southern accent.

nmrd

AggieMom0809 said:

For all of the above. there are only so many spots on official form and in many computer systems, a hyphen is not an accepted character in the name field. As for the monogramming, I get that that is not a problem/concern for most. Fonts do not allow for you to just put two letters for the last name and to just leave out the middle name would be telling your parents that the name they gave you wasn't good enough for you to keep.

In terms of monogramming (I'm "southern" by the way) I'm pretty sure my mom would be fine with me leaving my middle name out of some pretentious monogram in order to honor her by having both my husband and I hyphenate her maiden name with my husband's name. I don't think his southern mother gives a shit about it either b/c we're not pretty pretty princesses with our names on our towels and everything.

Also, OMG when a form doesn't allow for hyphens I have to put a space instead! Who cares???? It's fine if you're worried about your own or your children's ability to navigate simple forms, but seriously save the pity. Those poor hyphenated children are just fine.

I just find these types of arguments to be really narrow-minded and short-sighted all for the cause of preserving patriarchal lineage. If you want to take your husband's name or give your kid your husband's name, that's an absolutely valid choice. But suggesting that the not doing so is going to create some kind of hardship is absolutely ridiculous and offensive.

Lanatir

I just added "You must not be ____" to my bingo card.

aerotigergirl

But won't someone think of the children? They will not be able to have their beautifully monogrammed seersucker rompers, and then what will the neighbors think?

AggieMom0809

aerotigergirl said:

But won't someone think of the children? They will not be able to have their beautifully monogrammed seersucker rompers, and then what will the neighbors think?

What would be so wrong if all the children still dressed in adorable outfits like little children instead of being dressed like teenagers from the time they can walk with half their bodies handing out. 

aerotigergirl

AggieMom0809 said: aerotigergirl said: But won't someone think of the children? They will not be able to have their beautifully monogrammed seersucker rompers, and then what will the neighbors think?

What would be so wrong if all the children still dressed in adorable outfits like little children instead of being dressed like teenagers from the time they can walk with half their bodies handing out.  --------------STUCK IN THE QUOTE BOX-----------------------------------------
Pshhhh. I hardly think that the shorts and t-shirt that I send my son to daycare in can be considered scandalous. Half of his body hanging out? Please. And quite honestly, I don't really think this is about modesty so much is it is about your need to live up to a certain image among your social circle. Children can be dressed like children without parents spending a fortune on ridiculously overpriced monogrammed outfits so that they can parade their kids around in their prepster best in order to impress others.

britb618

No idea how we got to monograming things as being a valid reason to not do anything- I don't care where your from or who you are...choosing things as important as a child's name should never come down to whether or not it will look ok in a monogram. I seriously have reached a point where I cant do anything but stereotype you as nothing more than an incredibly shallow person.

ghostof5letters

aerotigergirl said:

But won't someone think of the children? They will not be able to have their beautifully monogrammed seersucker rompers, and then what will the neighbors think?

Janie & Jack and Pottery Barn Kids moms are currently holding a moment of silence. 

Also: "you must not be a scientist" may be my new TB catch phrase. 

rainbows

britb618 said:

No idea how we got to monograming things as being a valid reason to not do anything- I don't care where your from or who you are...choosing things as important as a child's name should never come down to whether or not it will look ok in a monogram. I seriously have reached a point where I cant do anything but stereotype you as nothing more than an incredibly shallow person.

I havent been thinking about monograms as a basis for picking my child's name, but I seriously consider whether the initials will spell something naughty.  My nephew almost got the initals ASS, but my mom talked my sister out of that one.  I was all for it though!

MahriM23

Our first 2 are girls, our 3rd is a boy and this one is another girl. My husband wanted a boy first and was disappointed when we found out the sex of the first 2. Once they were born though he fell in love with them of course and he has a great relationship them (and I'm sure he will with this one as well). It bothered me a little that he was disappointed that I was pregnant with girls but I wouldn't call anyone names over expressing some feelings. Bottom line is: They get over it in most cases. I wouldn't worry about it now. Congrats on your daughter! 

AggieMom0809

ExcitedMama2 said:

AggieMom0809 said:

aerotigergirl said:

But won't someone think of the children? They will not be able to have their beautifully monogrammed seersucker rompers, and then what will the neighbors think?

What would be so wrong if all the children still dressed in adorable outfits like little children instead of being dressed like teenagers from the time they can walk with half their bodies handing out. 

So...not this?  SHIT...

Preferably not, but at least she's covered.

12chachacha

What does monogramming have to do with anything? Who even does that, let alone have it be an important consideration in what name you give your child? I don't even know what to say to that. Back on topic, OP, have you considered taking in kids (as in, running a daycare of your own)?

bigbobdole

I thought monogramming was just something they did in catalogs.

Fwiw, I'm not southern.

Lanatir

megan81112 said:

I thought monogramming was just something they did in catalogs. Fwiw, I'm not southern.

^^This.  I had only really ever seen monogramming in catalogs or once I moved to Virginia during middle school and suddenly monograms were everywhere-- on everyone's LL Bean backpacks...

I know the only time my older brother has used his monogram (in 36 years of life!) on something is when he was in the Air Force and stationed in Korea and got custom made suits.  I guess they monogram the shirts or something and it's included in the price.

Stephij1

My dh was the same way when we found out we were having our dd three years ago. Not so much because of carrying on the family name (he's one of four boys), but because he was TERRIFIED to have a girl. He actually disappeared for about 8 hours after the ultrasound and I had no idea where he was. Believe me, he caught hell for that one. All of that said, he got over the disappointment before dd was born and was so excited when he got to hold her for the first time. They have been best buddies ever since. I think it's pretty common to be hoping for one gender, then be disappointed when it's the other. The vast majority of mentally healthy people get over it and are crazy about their kid either way. I wouldn't worry.

AggieMom0809

Lanatir said:

megan81112 said:

I thought monogramming was just something they did in catalogs. Fwiw, I'm not southern.

^^This.  I had only really ever seen monogramming in catalogs or once I moved to Virginia during middle school and suddenly monograms were everywhere-- on everyone's LL Bean backpacks...

I know the only time my older brother has used his monogram (in 36 years of life!) on something is when he was in the Air Force and stationed in Korea and got custom made suits.  I guess they monogram the shirts or something and it's included in the price.

Most men don't have things monogrammed unless it's small and not prominent. It's more for kids and women. Once my son goes off to kinder, he will no longer have things monogrammed, but will still have cute appliqued shirts and matching plaid shorts.

Stargirlb

ewwwwwwwwwww applique and plaid shorts.

AggieMom0809

megan81112 said:

I thought monogramming was just something they did in catalogs. Fwiw, I'm not southern.

Stargirlb

if AggieMom was my mom, I would go totally emo goth in middle school to piss her off

bigbobdole

AggieMom0809 said:

megan81112 said:

I thought monogramming was just something they did in catalogs.

Fwiw, I'm not southern.

Not hating. Just didn't know people did it in real life.

Blame It on my horrible Philadelphia upbringing.

AggieMom0809

Stargirlb said:

if AggieMom was my mom, I would go totally emo goth in middle school to piss her off

Nah, middle school age kids are going through a "finding themselves" phase. I wouldn't be too concerned, just watchful to make sure they aren't harming themselves.

AggieMom0809

ExcitedMama2 said:

bookworm92 said:

if AggieMom was my mom, I would go totally emo goth in middle school to piss her off

Yes! She may just faint.

You don't even have to take it that far, just start preferring trucks and dirt and robots to dolls when you're a toddler.  

We went through that phase with my 6yo already. She was jealous of her brother getting trucks and trains for his birthday. I gave her the choice. She can get rid of all of her girly things and she can have boy stuff, or she can stop pouting about him getting boy things and keep her things. She chose the girly stuff. They both play in dirt though. It's a great way to build up their immune system and learn hands on. And yes, she does it in style in her girly girl attire.

Stargirlb

AggiesMom I sense is a repressed lesbian and wants to be my bump gf. We can wear matching monogrammed shirts and spend our evenings studying feminist literature.

MahriM23

that video was too painful to watch. I'm glad my son is 2 and doesn't give a crap.

mandikins27

AggieMom0809 said:

ExcitedMama2 said:

bookworm92 said:

Stargirlb said:

if AggieMom was my mom, I would go totally emo goth in middle school to piss her off

Yes! She may just faint.

You don't even have to take it that far, just start preferring trucks and dirt and robots to dolls when you're a toddler.  

We went through that phase with my 6yo already. She was jealous of her brother getting trucks and trains for his birthday. I gave her the choice. She can get rid of all of her girly things and she can have boy stuff, or she can stop pouting about him getting boy things and keep her things. She chose the girly stuff. They both play in dirt though. It's a great way to build up their immune system and learn hands on. And yes, she does it in style in her girly girl attire.