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January 2015 Moms
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Wishing I can be a SAHM (not possible)

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Re: Wishing I can be a SAHM (not possible)

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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member

    ExcitedMama2 said:
    AggieMom0809 said:
    ExcitedMama2 said:
    bubbles92382 said:
    I am in the same boat and sadly be prepared for the comments you get from people. We can't afford it if I don't go back to work and it's very tough. When I went back with my daughter all of these women said things like... You are back already! When I had my child we did without so I could be home...you can't take any more time? Etc. it was very tough for me. Yesterday at the playground a sahm asked me how long I would take off and said you must be doing at least 12 weeks! I just replied we can't afford too much time and I'll see. Do these people think it is their place?
    Same thing here. I had my boss tell me she did 12 weeks (we get six weeks paid) went without pay for the rest. (Boss=way more pay than I am) I had someone else say "you deserve all 12 weeks off". My husband and I can't afford me not being paid too long. Plus it's really no ones business what my husband and I can afford. I've just made it sound like I want to come back to work quickly because I love what I do.
    I wish we had more options for paid maternity leave.  I would love to be home for at least 12 weeks, but it won't happen.  I will have 8 paid (c-section), and then will probably take another 2 weeks vacation...that will only leave me one week for vacation for the rest of the year, but I do have sick days as well.  

    For what its worth, I do think all of us DESERVE at least 12 weeks, but it isn't possible for a lot of us!
    And who should have to pay for that? I can understand wanting 12 weeks off or more, but the company that hired you didn't hire you to stay at home. 3 months is a long time to go with a vacant spot unless what you do isn't that needed in the company, I would expect that spot to be filled in that time. 

    If you have earned days off, I'm not saying you don't deserve to get to use those even if it's at one time, but if you expect to get days off because you wanted/decided (whatever the case is) to have a baby, the company should not have to suffer.
    So by that theory, why should companies provide health insurance/vacation time/sick leave at all?  I mean, why should they SUFFER for their employees ever taking time off?

    Maternity leave is a benefit provided by companies (and other forms of short term disability).  I'm assuming your husband has the same type of benefits as his job -- so if your husband was ever in some sort of accident/needed surgery etc and had to take off work for several weeks/months, they should just can his ass so the company shouldn't have to suffer, right?

    I won't even get into reasons why a government funded/controlled maternity program would also be beneficial, because I don't think you'd understand anyway.
    If he chose to take off that many weeks of work, I'd expect him to get fired. If he got injured at work for something that could have been prevented on their part (which has happened), I expect them to account for a speedy recovery and allow him to come back assuming the position did not need to be immediately filled. Unless you have some unexpected trauma during delivery, you should be able to go back to work well before 12 weeks. The only reason to stay home that long is you feel guilty for leaving your child so early.

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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    SpaceGirlSpiff said:
    Yeah, I'm pretty much convinced now that AggieMom is either one of the most ignorant, closed-minded and twatiest of women alive orrrrrr a major long-con troll that really knows how to push every single hot button possible and is really getting a huge kick out of this.  Or both, really.

    So.

    Bye Felicia
    Or someone who actually willing to stand up for their beliefs and not just give into the feminist liberal crap.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    motherboy said:
    Jesus H. Christ. you've already won the title of the most offensive person on this board. This just seems like overkill. I also don't get why someone would stick around a community where NO ONE else liked them or wanted them there. So yeah, I'm hoping you're just a troll who enjoys offending people.
    Just because I have differing and strong opinions does not make me a troll. I fully believe in and stand behind everything I've said. I can only pray for those who are helping to encourage the downhill slope this world is coming to.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    YaMrWhite said:
    ladyamanuet said:
    Suggesting any man who wants to be a stay at home parent is anything less than a man for wanting to do so is so disgusting, I honestly threw up in my mouth a little bit. I would LOVE it if J could stay home with this LO.  He would not be less of a man for taking on the huge responsibility of being a SAHP. Your husband is less of a man than any SAHD I know if he is as stuck in archaic gender roles as you are.

    I usually avoid saying things like this, because I find it "trolly", but in this case it is true - I feel sorry for your children. It saddens me they are growing up in a household that so rigidly sticks to outdated and offensive gender roles. I hope that once they are in school they start seeing that it doesn't have to be that way, and they don't grow up to perpetuate the awful negativity, hatred, and bias that you have.
    I hope they aren't homeschooled.
    They don't have to be because many others in my area believe the same way I do. Otherwise, WE WOULD MOVE!!!!
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    aditigirl said:
    I bet @AggieMom0809‌ thinks that people who utilize assistance are lazy sobs, too?
    It depends. I think they are there as a tool to help people get back on their feet. If you get on gov assistance and have no intention of getting off, then yes I'm against. I know many moms who were on gov assistance in the first couple years after giving birth so they could be stay at home moms. They have since been able to get off the assistance and still be sahm's
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    Maebb said:
    I am realizing more and more how special DH is for things like changing diapers, supporting my career choices, loving our kids regardless of their sex, gender, or sexual orientation, etc. And if our financial situation or family situation dictated it, I know he would be a great SAHD, and I would be just as proud of him as I am now in his job as an engineer. @AggieMom0809‌, are you saying that a man who stays home with his kids is a "girl"? And is that an insult or something?
    No that was someone else. I said I'd be embarrassed if I was married to a man who was less educated than I and unable to get a job that would pay for me to stay at home with the children.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    musicgal05 said:
    aerotigergirl said:
    ladyamanuet said:
    I am surprised @stargirlb hasn't chimed in on this, expanding the Jane Austen theory from just names to include parenting as well ;)
    I was just thinking exactly the same thing. Especially with that whole "Just because I didn't marry a girl, doesn't mean others didn't" comment. Celebrity Death Match!!!

    Also.... does it seem odd to you that the two never seem to be in the same place at the same time? 
    That's a good point you make... maybe it's the same person, doing a sociological experiment on all of us.

    Regardless, my DH rocks as a SAHD. He's a graphic designer by degree, I'm an engineer. It just makes financial sense for me to work and him to stay home. He's currently not working, but every so often he gets a small job that he can do at home. Our situation makes perfect sense for us, because... we're individuals who decided to do life this way. Nobody's gotta judge anybody. 

    For @AggieMom0809, her situation works for her, but she also seems to want to drag everybody down who's not doing it her way. I dunno why she thinks her way is perfect and everybody needs to be like her; that's the obnoxious part. I really don't care if she works full time as a monogrammer or if her DH brings in all the money or if they won the lottery and she doesn't want us to know. Whatevs.
    I didn't say my way was the only way or that mothers should even have to stay at home with their children at all. The post was about not being able to be a SAHM and all the excuses as to why they couldn't. My point was only that there are ways to get over the million excuses.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    aerotigergirl said:
    Seriously, if this is a long-con troll working us, I applaud his/her effort! Building these two separate personas would require a lot of time and energy. 
    That would be an interesting experiment! But alas, it's not my field of study and I have other things to monogram. ;)
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    peggels24 said:
    AggieMom0809 said:
    Maebb said:
    I am realizing more and more how special DH is for things like changing diapers, supporting my career choices, loving our kids regardless of their sex, gender, or sexual orientation, etc. And if our financial situation or family situation dictated it, I know he would be a great SAHD, and I would be just as proud of him as I am now in his job as an engineer. @AggieMom0809‌, are you saying that a man who stays home with his kids is a "girl"? And is that an insult or something?
    No that was someone else. I said I'd be embarrassed if I was married to a man who was less educated than I and unable to get a job that would pay for me to stay at home with the children.
    You clearly said that you would be embarrassed if your husband stayed home while his wife went to work.  You said nothing about less educated and unable to get a job that would pay for you to stay home:

    "My husband would never stay at home with the kids while I went to work on a regular basis. I personally would be embarrassed if my husband wanted to stay at home while his wife went to work. "

    And I didn't say that wasn't it either. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had to give every exact reason for each of my potential feelings before I post a comment.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    CuppyCakes721 said:
    Maebb said:
    I am realizing more and more how special DH is for things like changing diapers, supporting my career choices, loving our kids regardless of their sex, gender, or sexual orientation, etc. And if our financial situation or family situation dictated it, I know he would be a great SAHD, and I would be just as proud of him as I am now in his job as an engineer. @AggieMom0809‌, are you saying that a man who stays home with his kids is a "girl"? And is that an insult or something?
    No that was someone else. I said I'd be embarrassed if I was married to a man who was less educated than I and unable to get a job that would pay for me to stay at home with the children.
    ------- There is nothing wrong with being more or equally educated as a man. I feel for your daughters. And your sons for that matter.
    I expect for both of my children to marry someone with at least a BS education. And no I would not have married my husband if he was less educated than that.
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    mrsjoslyn16 said:
    Maebb said:
    I am realizing more and more how special DH is for things like changing diapers, supporting my career choices, loving our kids regardless of their sex, gender, or sexual orientation, etc. And if our financial situation or family situation dictated it, I know he would be a great SAHD, and I would be just as proud of him as I am now in his job as an engineer. @AggieMom0809‌, are you saying that a man who stays home with his kids is a "girl"? And is that an insult or something?
    No that was someone else. I said I'd be embarrassed if I was married to a man who was less educated than I and unable to get a job that would pay for me to stay at home with the children.
    ------- There is nothing wrong with being more or equally educated as a man. I feel for your daughters. And your sons for that matter.
    Agree with @CuppyCakes721. Now I'm totally pregnant and pissed @AggieMom0809‌. My DH has a B.S. engineering and I have a B.A. & M.A in education. He makes triple my salary and I am in no way embarrassed that I have a higher degree than him. Nobody even knows. In my circle it's not appropriate to bring up education at a social event. So unless you blab about being embarrassed nobody would know who's the most educated in a couple. And, on top of it, I didn't marry my DH because he was my meal ticket to stay home if I want. Which I will stay home without needing a side job. I married him because he's an amazing man. :P
    Well my DH has a doctorate and would be a little more noticeable if he decided to become a stay at home dad. If nothing else, it would suggest he wasn't a good enough doctor.
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  • NatureLoversNatureLovers member
    ExcitedMama2 said:


    CuppyCakes721 said:

    Aw man. You guys, if o was Aggies kids age they couldn't marry me because I dropped out of college. I'm so sad now.

    I'm still trying to figure out why her son needs to marry someone with a BS though...isn't a women's place to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, whilst changing all the diapers and feeding all the babies?


    OH....wait...is there a BS in monogramming?


    If their kids end up attending the school of the dining room table, the BS could come in handy.
    image
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    bookworm92 said:
    Aggietroll and stargirlb actually have been in a few of the same conversations. Does anyone else remember the huge fight in the restaurant thread? I was thoroughly amused. I refuse to argue with aggietroll anymore because I refuse to accept she's real. I'm going for long time troll. We should have a vote.
    I think I just scared @stargirlb off by asking her to back up her statement with science. 

    And if I'm not real, what am I?
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    CuppyCakes721 said:
    Aw man. You guys, if o was Aggies kids age they couldn't marry me because I dropped out of college. I'm so sad now.
    That would explain the comments.
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    AggieMom might be the best anti-circ argument this board has seen. Woot woot go Aggiemom!!!!
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  • jennyhattjennyhatt member


    No that was someone else. I said I'd be embarrassed if I was married to a man who was less educated than I and unable to get a job that would pay for me to stay at home with the children.

    I find this a very ignorant argument. I have two degrees more than my husband. I am a SAHM and can afford to do so because my husband makes enough money to support our 3 bedroom single home, 2 cars, insurance, food, luxuries (like my trip to Italy next month for example) food and more with me making squat.

    There goes that theory.

    Also @AggieMom0809‌ i don't think you know how maternity leave works in other countries. The company doesn't pay for people to be off leave. They are not "out" anything except a person- whom they can hire (and sometimes for cheaper than you) for a year. Your job is secured to be there (whether it's same exact position it can vary but you won't be demoted), they don't pay you past whatever weeks they have in their description, and you go on EI for a year- which everyone who is working pays into. And only if you have paid enough in, can you take the money. I did not have enough hours, so I didn't receive the pay for the year from EI but my job was still secured for a year. It works very well and encourages new parents (because anyone can take it, even adoptive parents) to bond with their new family member. It is usually a financial hit so not everyone stays home for the year, but the option is there :)
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