Weekend Throat Punch

blackbird818

Daily vents, frustrations, shitty shit, etc go here.

mrsjg2013

Just wanting to TP my seasonal allergies this morning!!  I got away with next to nothing in the spring- I guess they were saving up for fall!! 

rslh10

@mrsjg2013‌ I second that TP! I am dying over here!!

mrsjg2013

@rslh10- I'm in the midwest, you?  (Southern WI/Northern IL)

rslh10

@mrsjg2013‌ central ohio!

mrsjg2013

@rslh10 said:

@mrsjg2013‌ central ohio!

It's when I'm drenched with humidity (sooo thankful we were spared this summer!) or when I want to scratch my eyes out and go through an entire box a Kleenex a day that the thought enters my mind... WHY DO I LIVE HERE?!?!  Oh, and also when we get a foot of snow in a weekend

CreechMommy

*pregnancies mentioned*

TP to my inlaws. For those of you that saw my TP last weekend it was about my SIL who announce her pg on fb on our one year wedding anniversary instead of posting it at the end of August like she told me she would.

Now my inlaws. We went to see them yesterday and my MIL starts talking ab how one of the aunts already has offered her house for the baby shower. She just made 9 weeks. I was 9 1/2 when I m\c. I don't want to sound bitchy but I was just as much pg and ppl weren't talking ab my shower and now they act like I was never pg because I was "so early on" and no I don't want to talk ab her shower bc I am already having a hard enough time with my cousins coming up in sept.

TP to my FIL as well. He asked me if I get physicals or if I had ever been to the dr to get my ovaries checked. WTF after I had my mc I had a cyst that I had to keep going back to get checked to make sure it was going away on it's own. I've been probed by the dr way too much and know way more ab my ovaries than I ever wanted to. The kicker? They KNOW ab the cyst and he STILL found it appropriate to ask. He also asked if were actively trying now or not. We are but it's not really something we want to discuss. When we do get pg no one will know till I start showing. Why do ppl feel it's appropriate to ask personal questions ab my reproductive system now?

blackbird818

Ugh @CreechMommy‌ ILs are the worst!! Or at least mine is (i only have a MIL). Giant (((hugs))) to you lady!!! More & more I feel the appropriate response to inappropriate questions is to ask the person an inappropriate question back. So in your situation..."thanks for the concern FIL. Speaking of that, how's your prostate? Had it checked lately?"

blackbird818

@Amybunny30‌ jinx!!! Great minds think alike :-bd

mrsjg2013

@CreechMommy said:

*pregnancies mentioned* TP to my inlaws. For those of you that saw my TP last weekend it was about my SIL who announce her pg on fb on our one year wedding anniversary instead of posting it at the end of August like she told me she would. Now my inlaws. We went to see them yesterday and my MIL starts talking ab how one of the aunts already has offered her house for the baby shower. She just made 9 weeks. I was 9 1/2 when I m\c. I don't want to sound bitchy but I was just as much pg and ppl weren't talking ab my shower and now they act like I was never pg because I was "so early on" and no I don't want to talk ab her shower bc I am already having a hard enough time with my cousins coming up in sept. TP to my FIL as well. He asked me if I get physicals or if I had ever been to the dr to get my ovaries checked. WTF after I had my mc I had a cyst that I had to keep going back to get checked to make sure it was going away on it's own. I've been probed by the dr way too much and know way more ab my ovaries than I ever wanted to. The kicker? They KNOW ab the cyst and he STILL found it appropriate to ask. He also asked if were actively trying now or not. We are but it's not really something we want to discuss. When we do get pg no one will know till I start showing. Why do ppl feel it's appropriate to ask personal questions ab my reproductive system now?

I'll offer a few swift, but well aimed TP's to your inlaws as well!!  How aggravating and completely insensitive!!!  My story is not nearly as TP worthy, but after my MIL responded to the 9 week u/s pic we gave her in her Mother's Day card as our announcement to them with "Again?!" (our third pregnancy in a year-only one where we got an u/s pic) I will definitely NOT be telling them next time until I am showing or 16 weeks, whichever comes first. 

CreechMommy

I'll offer a few swift, but well aimed TP's to your inlaws as well!!  How aggravating and completely insensitive!!!  My story is not nearly as TP worthy, but after my MIL responded to the 9 week u/s pic we gave her in her Mother's Day card as our announcement to them with "Again?!" (our third pregnancy in a year-only one where we got an u/s pic) I will definitely NOT be telling them next time until I am showing or 16 weeks, whichever comes first.  

Yea I keep telling my DH this.  The first time, I wanted everyone to know early, but now I'm thinking next time I'll just let ppl figure it out on their own lol. 

My FIL has a history of asking inappropriate questions.  When we announced our pg in May he asked me how I knew to take a pg test.  I wanted to say "well you see, I noticed it was strange since I wasn't bleeding from my vagina at the normal time.  Also b/c your son and I had been having lots of unprotected sex b/c we were hoping for this to happen"

jjbmstinco

CreechMommy said:

I'll offer a few swift, but well aimed TP's to your inlaws as well!!  How aggravating and completely insensitive!!!  My story is not nearly as TP worthy, but after my MIL responded to the 9 week u/s pic we gave her in her Mother's Day card as our announcement to them with "Again?!" (our third pregnancy in a year-only one where we got an u/s pic) I will definitely NOT be telling them next time until I am showing or 16 weeks, whichever comes first.  

Yea I keep telling my DH this.  The first time, I wanted everyone to know early, but now I'm thinking next time I'll just let ppl figure it out on their own lol. 

My FIL has a history of asking inappropriate questions.  When we announced our pg in May he asked me how I knew to take a pg test.  I wanted to say "well you see, I noticed it was strange since I wasn't bleeding from my vagina at the normal time.  Also b/c your son and I had been having lots of unprotected sex b/c we were hoping for this to happen"

This made me giggle. Good for you to say something back! Some people have no filter.

mrsjg2013

@EurydiceNymph said:

You're not the only bitch so don't worry!! Before I was a soft spoken person, now after my losses I'm a raging bitch and I regret nothing. The only way these stupid asshats are going to learn is to have their douchery dished right back to them. Think of it as a teaching moment! And end it with:

Thank you for being YOU!!  Sometimes I feel like, "Why can't I just take things in stride and not let them bother me," but then I remember- I've been through SO MUCH in the last year.  Some people KNOW that... I get that things are just peachy-keen for you and you want to talk non-stop about it, but walking around with this broken heart means I can only take so much happy-happy-joy-joy from you!!  For those who don't know... when I answer "Whenever the time is right," for the sixth time to your incessant questioning, "Isn't it time for you to have kids?" TAKE A HINT!!!  P.S. Quit thinking I'm okay because it's been a couple months since my last loss.  This is not something I will just "get over" with time... you do realize that in my TTCAL journey, more time (without a baby in my arms) is my ENEMY?!?!  Time does not heal this wound, it only pronounces it!! 

Wow- that felt good!  Now if I could only work up the nerve to say that out loud to the people it pertains to!! 

CreechMommy

I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: loosing a child is similar to loosing any other member of your family. You would not say "isn't it time to get over it" to someone who lost their parent. You wouldn't fault someone who lost a sibling for crying when they see something that reminds them of him/her. You just wouldn't fucking say this shit if it had been someone who that you could see before they died.There shouldn't be a difference. Our babies were alive inside of us, they are part of our family and they always will be. They deserve the same respect as anyone else. We're their only advocates now and we have to stand up for them. 

Exactly!! I feel like I'm always having to stand up for my LO and remind people that our LO was real and alive.  My MIL is all excited about being a grandmother now (which she should be) but I want to scream at her that she already IS a grandmother because our LO was her first.  I still see them as our babies grandparents.  It's exhausting, but I will never stop defending my baby. 

mrsjg2013

**babies and pregnancy mentioned**

I honestly couldn't love complete strangers any more than I love you ladies! Thank you for validating my feelings. My SIL just had her first son this summer, the first "born" grandbaby in my family. My first should have been born this past April, so "first grandbaby" is a hard pill to swallow. Don't get me wrong, I love him and my SIL, but it's still hard. She can talk about how much she loves being a mom, but I feel like I can't talk about how sad I am to have lost three little ones. My life is sad, so I have to hold in. I lost it when they surprise announced at Christmas, and I'll never forget my brother telling me how unfair to burden the family with my grief b/c it was taking away from their joy. And if I couldn't keep myself under control, he wasn't going to bring his wife around me because she didn't need to be worrying about a miscarriage. Ugh.

Sorry this is so long, but a good friend is now 11 weeks along and very well may announce at her daughter's bday party that we'll be attending next weekend. I could prob handle it better if it wasn't the anniversary of our first bfp. Last year at the party I was secretly fighting the urge to puke... this year, several months away from the possibility of trying again after three losses. How in the world does one smile through that in front of close friends and two dozen strangers?! Is it inappropriate to put alcohol in a coffee mug to covertly drink from at a child's party?!

Me= officially a hot mess

mrsjg2013

P.S. How much do I owe you ladies for the therapy session?! Just realized how much I've been holding in lately!!! Internalize much??!!

CreechMommy

@amybunny30  How wonderful put.  I've often wondered if I should say what's in my head or just change the subject when something insensitive is said.  A lot of my friends understand and have been great.  Unfortunately they are so awesome because a large number of them have also suffered losses. Family is a completely different story.  The only one between my family and DHs family that has suffered a loss is my aunt (as far as we know that's it) so both of our families keep saying things to us that are NOT helping.  My FIL keeps saying "yall will have a whole bunch of kids before you know it" First of all, I don't want "a whole bunch" of kids - I want my baby that died and second does he think that is comforting??

ugh can I just TP people in general??

CreechMommy

EurydiceNymph said:

mrsjg2013 said:

**babies and pregnancy mentioned** I honestly couldn't love complete strangers any more than I love you ladies! Thank you for validating my feelings. My SIL just had her first son this summer, the first "born" grandbaby in my family. My first should have been born this past April, so "first grandbaby" is a hard pill to swallow. Don't get me wrong, I love him and my SIL, but it's still hard. She can talk about how much she loves being a mom, but I feel like I can't talk about how sad I am to have lost three little ones. My life is sad, so I have to hold in. I lost it when they surprise announced at Christmas, and I'll never forget my brother telling me how unfair to burden the family with my grief b/c it was taking away from their joy. And if I couldn't keep myself under control, he wasn't going to bring his wife around me because she didn't need to be worrying about a miscarriage. Ugh. Sorry this is so long, but a good friend is now 11 weeks along and very well may announce at her daughter's bday party that we'll be attending next weekend. I could prob handle it better if it wasn't the anniversary of our first bfp. Last year at the party I was secretly fighting the urge to puke... this year, several months away from the possibility of trying again after three losses. How in the world does one smile through that in front of close friends and two dozen strangers?! Is it inappropriate to put alcohol in a coffee mug to covertly drink from at a child's party?! Me= officially a hot mess

How about how fucking unfair it is for them to expect you to forget your children and your loss and to just be happy for them??? How about how un-fucking-fair it is for your children to be forgotten? How about the burden that they are putting on YOU? How about how horrible it is for them to act this way? They weren't just your children, they were his nieces/nephews. They were babies, they were humans and they were yours. THEY are the ones being selfish, unfair, inconsiderate, rude and complete assholes. YOU have every right to take as long as it takes to grieve and you will never, ever, EVER forget your children, or stop missing them and no one should expect you to. 

For fucks sake, give me their phone number or email address. I'll set them straight. I'm furious for you. I am so sorry that you have to deal with people like that. ((Hugs)) to you. 

As far as the friend, do what you need to do. Drink. Don't go. Go for a little while but leave before the announcement. Whatever you need to do to get through every day, do it. Fuck everyone else, what they think, what they say. Fuck. Them. They aren't going through the hell that you are. They can't possibly understand how horrible it is to lose a child. So they can't understand how you cope. It's time to not worry about everyone else and worry about yourself. Anyone who doesn't understand doesn't deserve to be in your life. If they can't respect you, and the loss of your children than why the hell should you respect them?

/end rant.

@mrsjg2013 I'm in a similar boat with my SIL.  She is due in March. Even though it's a ways away, I'm already dreading the "first grandbaby" stuff.  Our baby made both sets of our parents grandparents for the first time.  Our baby made my sister and my husband's sister aunts.  Our baby changed their titles and I still consider my mom/dad to be grandparents.  I still consider my sister an aunt.  Seems like no one else does though.  

As for the party - do what you need. If your friends can't understand why you didn't go/left early/drank at a kids party, then they are the ones being selfish.  I too had my mom tell me that my grief would take away my cousins joy if I didn't attend her baby shower.  That's so fucked up and I'm getting really tired of it happening to me and I'm really sick of it happening to others on here too.  I realize now how many other ppl are having to deal with insensitive ppl and it makes me angry.  

@EurydiceNymph This.  Everything about this was awesome.  

blackbird818

@EurydiceNymph‌ I fucking love you! :x

Km380

@CreechMommy‌, @Kateisoptimistic‌, @mrsjg2013‌ and everyone else hugs.


*****baby mentioned*****










Can I just TP everything about AL please bc apparently I can't even go to a goddamn bridal shower without wanting to flee and cry! All bc 1 person showed up with a baby. And the
tradition I forgot - telling the bride every ribbon she cuts while opening gifts is a child they will have. I just want to scream "Cut all the fucking ribbons bc having a child is the fucking hardest thing in this goddamn life!!!!" I am on the verge of an ugly cry in the parking lot and don't want to go home a mess to mh. Oh and my bridal shower - not a single ribbon cut.

CreechMommy

Km380 said:

@CreechMommy‌, @Kateisoptimistic‌, @mrsjg2013‌ and everyone else hugs. *****baby mentioned***** Can I just TP everything about AL please bc apparently I can't even go to a goddamn bridal shower without wanting to flee and cry! All bc 1 person showed up with a baby. And the tradition I forgot - telling the bride every ribbon she cuts while opening gifts is a child they will have. I just want to scream "Cut all the fucking ribbons bc having a child is the fucking hardest thing in this goddamn life!!!!" I am on the verge of an ugly cry in the parking lot and don't want to go home a mess to mh. Oh and my bridal shower - not a single ribbon cut.

 ((hugs))  I never heard the ribbon thing before.  Most of my gifts were in bags or had stick on bows.  So sorry you had to go through that

CreechMommy

It's the unexpected things that creep up that make this so much harder.  Like just now my mom made a photobook of pictures from graduation a few months ago when I got my masters.  That day we had a big party at our house and we announced our pg to our whole family.  I had taken pics in my cap and gown with a sign announcing it and I showed the pics to the family and snuck that one in to see how long it took them to figure it out.  So of course she makes this photobook today and has lots of pics of everyone at the party, but as I'm looking through I know which photos are missing - any picture having to do with our LO and our announcement.  Yes my graduation was a big deal and I am proud of my accomplishment, but there were two big events that day and one is now wiped out of the photobook memory.  

Now I don't know how I would feel if she had included those pics - I'd prob be just as sad.  Either way I'm screwed with this.  I really hate that when I think back on my graduation the only thing I can remember is feeling psysically awful and being terrified that day because it's the first day I saw blood.  My baby was dying as I was getting my degree.  

Blah I hate this...

CreechMommy

The ironic part...I got my masters in Counseling.  You'd think I'd be a master at coping.  Guess I need to start listening to what I tell my clients.  (easier said than done)

rslh10

mrsjg2013 said:

P.S. How much do I owe you ladies for the therapy session?! Just realized how much I've been holding in lately!!! Internalize much??!!

So many hugs!!! I don't even have words, just mega hugs!!!

rslh10

Kateisoptimistic said:

So many hugs ladies!

AFM, TP to myself for being emotional. I just ugly cried at babies r us, I had to pick up a shower gift and completely lost it. A woman tried to help me but I ended up just leaving the store. And what did I see outside? A probably 8 month pregnant girl smoking on the sidewalk WTF. I just got home and made a cocktail.

FUCK that lady. I have no tolerance for people who smoke/drink while pregnant. None. Stupid!!! TPx100!!!

tlc35

@Eurydicenymph you get an internet standing ovation from me!

Hugs to everyone.  @creechmommy I also feel like everybody acts like I was never pregnant which totally irks me.  I don't know if they don't want to upset me by not bringing it up or it is completely off their mind/radar.
@mrsjg2013 what your brother said was completely out of line and I am pissed at him for you.

Km380

@CreechMommy‌ I'm sorry about the album, that would be so hard either way. So many hugs

@LDubHawksFan‌ I'm sorry your first night out turned out so terribly and that you have to go through this. Don't be mad at yourself for your reaction , I know I would have reacted the same way - because I have. (((Hugs)))

CreechMommy

@LDubHawksFan‌ so sorry you had to go through that.  But please don't be hard on yourself for your reaction.  You can't help the way you feel.  Hearing it in person is way harder than over facebook because the person can see your face.  I had a friend recently tell me she was expecting face to face.  I had to ask my DH after we left if he could tell I had a fake smile cause when she told me I felt like she had punched me in the gut.  It sucks.  Period. I'm still learning how to cope with it myself.  

lyndz333

Reading all of your TP's to your inlaws or other insensitive family members makes me feel better because my MIL is an insensitive clod so it's nice to know I'm not the only one with that burden to bear. But it also makes me feel sad. WTF is wrong with people?! Back in May, after our first loss, my MIL, who knew about our loss mind you, felt compelled to tell me, just me, how nice it was that a cousin to my husband was expecting her first in November. We were supposed to be due in December. Bitch, is this your idea of small talk?! I said yeah, how nice but I really wanted to smash her face through the sneeze shield in the buffet line. She doesn't know about the latest loss and she won't know because if I have to hear her say something so effing dumb again I would probably have to be arrested. Sometimes I don't have the words and all that will do is a real TP, not a virtual one.

jjbmstinco

CreechMommy said:

The ironic part...I got my masters in Counseling.  You'd think I'd be a master at coping.  Guess I need to start listening to what I tell my clients.  (easier said than done)

@CheechMommy- Having a M.S. in Counseling doesn't teach you to deal with your own stuff. It teaches you how to deal with everyone else's issues.  From one counselor to another...Self Care in any form!  If you ever want to talk, let me know.

jjbmstinco

Amybunny30 said:

Oh @km380 love... I'm so sorry. Huge hugs... I didn't even have a bridal shower.

I didn't either @Amybunny30!  Sometimes I regret it. Then I realize that I don't want all that attention.

@km30-I am sorry that you are dealing with that.  That has to be tough.  ((hugs))  FWIW-I think that is a silly thing.  

stinybean

TP to myself for drinking way too much red wine yesterday. I am still hungover. ughhh!

Km380

@stinybean‌ I have found gatorade really helpful as I get older. Red wine hangovers suck. Hope you feel better!

@ashtog that's bs. Fire her irresponsible ass

@EurydiceNymph‌ I told mh what happened, we just got ice cream before dinner :-)

@jjbmstinco‌ I think it's a silly thing too.

Thanks ladies, I was just totally blind sided earlier. I only knew the bride so wasn't mentally prepared for it.

Menrandes

Major throat punch to the person who invented family vacations as an adult. Especially with family that stews over things until it boils over.
It just boiled over and we are on our way home potentially with not talking to my mil for a while. Or at least with her not talking to me, since I apparently ruined her vacation by doing things like prepping dinner (that's me taking over annoyingly don't you know) or asking someone if they used my towel because I had a rash all over suddenly. That was offensive for me to ask and the person in question refuses to talk to me and evidently was uncomfortable being around me after that. Oh and how my celiac is inconvenient for everyone else because it won't actually kill me like someone else's allergy.
Throat punch to me for agreeing to come.
I feel bad for my husband though. He's miserable right now on our way home.

Km380

Menrandes said:

Major throat punch to the person who invented family vacations as an adult. Especially with family that stews over things until it boils over.
It just boiled over and we are on our way home potentially with not talking to my mil for a while. Or at least with her not talking to me, since I apparently ruined her vacation by doing things like prepping dinner (that's me taking over annoyingly don't you know) or asking someone if they used my towel because I had a rash all over suddenly. That was offensive for me to ask and the person in question refuses to talk to me and evidently was uncomfortable being around me after that. Oh and how my celiac is inconvenient for everyone else because it won't actually kill me like someone else's allergy.
Throat punch to me for agreeing to come.
I feel bad for my husband though. He's miserable right now on our way home.

Aw sweetie I'm sorry your vacation went that way. TP to your IL's for sure.

jjbmstinco

Menrandes said:

Major throat punch to the person who invented family vacations as an adult. Especially with family that stews over things until it boils over. It just boiled over and we are on our way home potentially with not talking to my mil for a while. Or at least with her not talking to me, since I apparently ruined her vacation by doing things like prepping dinner (that's me taking over annoyingly don't you know) or asking someone if they used my towel because I had a rash all over suddenly. That was offensive for me to ask and the person in question refuses to talk to me and evidently was uncomfortable being around me after that. Oh and how my celiac is inconvenient for everyone else because it won't actually kill me like someone else's allergy. Throat punch to me for agreeing to come. I feel bad for my husband though. He's miserable right now on our way home.

TP to them all!  It sounds like you and your H nee a little vacation with just the two of you!  

Menrandes

Thanks guys. DH was saying the whole way home, "we made the right choice leaving right?" Both of us feeling guilty for our part in the blow up. But I pointed out that the likelihood of them feeling guilty for their part is pretty slim.
Apparently there has never been a large family blow up with them before! We call that Christmas at my house.

cherylanddoug

Here's one to the screw that got stuck in my tire and ruined it. 

**warning other people's pregnancy/babies mentions/living child mentioned***

And another to the couple at the park who had a (maybe) 1 year old and were obviously at least 6 months pregnant with another, who stood right in my line of vision while I was trying to watch my son. 

mrsjg2013

@Amybunny30 @EurydiceNymph @CreechMommy @readinglove @LDubHawksFan @rlsh10 @tlc35 @ashtog THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the advice, support, hugs, and for totally getting it.  We had my entire family and MH's parents over for a cookout yesterday.  I knew I was on the emotional "edge," so as soon as my brother, SIL, and nephew got here, I held him then sat at the table with DH, my dad, his dad, and my brother.  Talking guy stuff helped for a while, but every time I tried listening in to the other table to have some interaction with them, they talked baby FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT.  When I would get up to check on food or whatever, I would go over to try to talk about my photography or back to school or something, but only discussions of my nephew were interesting enough to talk about, I guess.  It was definitely a punch to the gut considering my entire side of the family lives in the same town, but I'm an hour away and don't get to see everyone very often.  I know they didn't mean to cause me to go into my bedroom and cry, but that's what happened.  Thanks to you ladies for the first time, I DID NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY TEARS.  If my  mom brings it up to me, I'm going to tell her how I felt.  I love my nephew as much as everyone else, but she knows exactly what I'm going through and didn't try to even have a conversation with me about anything once they came.  Other than to scold me for bouncing my nephew when I held him because then he'll rely on that to be soothed.  UGH. 

mrsjg2013

@Kateisoptimistic said:

So many hugs ladies! AFM, TP to myself for being emotional. I just ugly cried at babies r us, I had to pick up a shower gift and completely lost it. A woman tried to help me but I ended up just leaving the store. And what did I see outside? A probably 8 month pregnant girl smoking on the sidewalk WTF. I just got home and made a cocktail.

Big ((HUGS)).  I had to get two shower gifts after my second loss... it was rough!!  Don't be hard on yourself for your reaction.  And I think that lady needs more than just a TP!!!  I honestly don't know that I would have been able to walk past her without saying anything!!  Hope you enjoyed your cocktail!!!

CreechMommy

mrsjg2013 said:

@Amybunny30 @EurydiceNymph @CreechMommy @readinglove @LDubHawksFan @rlsh10 @tlc35 @ashtog THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for the advice, support, hugs, and for totally getting it.  We had my entire family and MH's parents over for a cookout yesterday.  I knew I was on the emotional "edge," so as soon as my brother, SIL, and nephew got here, I held him then sat at the table with DH, my dad, his dad, and my brother.  Talking guy stuff helped for a while, but every time I tried listening in to the other table to have some interaction with them, they talked baby FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT.  When I would get up to check on food or whatever, I would go over to try to talk about my photography or back to school or something, but only discussions of my nephew were interesting enough to talk about, I guess.  It was definitely a punch to the gut considering my entire side of the family lives in the same town, but I'm an hour away and don't get to see everyone very often.  I know they didn't mean to cause me to go into my bedroom and cry, but that's what happened.  Thanks to you ladies for the first time, I DID NOT APOLOGIZE FOR MY TEARS.  If my  mom brings it up to me, I'm going to tell her how I felt.  I love my nephew as much as everyone else, but she knows exactly what I'm going through and didn't try to even have a conversation with me about anything once they came.  Other than to scold me for bouncing my nephew when I held him because then he'll rely on that to be soothed.  UGH. 

Wow...really??  ((Hugs)) to you