first birthday party post divorce.....(and what to do with the current bf)

mandi12

hi everyone. 

im getting together ideas for my daughters 3rd bday. (its over 2 months away) and im trying to decide whats the best way to go about doing this post divorce. ive decided on renting a room/hall as cheap as i can find and keeping it at neutral ground. ive invited my exhusband to be part of the planning process. i want him to be included and i want his family to ACTUALLY show up. 

im pretty good on that whole plan but idk what to do with the current bf. hes become a big part of my daughters life and the ex knows about all of this and has accepted it. we both know the other is dating and its not a huge deal. im not sure if i should include the bf, maybe have him make a short appearance. or if i should exclude him completely.... anyone have a similar situation theyd like to share? 

freeatlast2014

I just text my stbxh about this same thing and he is ignoring me so far. I have a final restraining order against him so there is no way he could be there at the party with me.
How long have you been divorced? I would say to ask him if he will be binging his girlfriend. I feel that either you both do it or neither does it or it could be really uncomfortable for everyone else there.

mandi12

that sucks.  

i guess i should clarify hes a stbxh as well. weve been in the process for almost a year now. i think its partly the lawyer dragging it out and partly my ex being lazy. im not positive that he has anyone at this current moment or anyone worth bringing around to meet family at least. so i would say on his end he'd show up alone. which is why it would be awkward with the bf there. the way i see it its gonna be awkward either way for the families to get together again.

freeatlast2014

Eh, I would personally leave the boyfriend out. He can see your family at a family function just for your family but maybe that's cause I'm a. Scardey cat and b. Not seriously involved with anyone so I don't really know how it would feel to want someone there

FinallyHappy84

Hello! I haven't formally introduced myself in this board yet but wanted to help if possible...do you and BF live together ? If you two are really serious or think it may be headed in that direction I would think it would be okay. Definitely extend the invitation to stbxh SO, if there is one. Overall if you feel.comfortable with the situation I say go for it, and I doubt it'll matter too much since the focus will be on your daughter anyways. Has he or his family committed to coming or being involved? From my experience, parents and extended families did everything separate pending/after divorce so kudos to you for making an effort like this.

MinnesotaMomma91

@mandi12 i would talk to your stbxh and see what he is comfortable with. Im sorry to thread jack you but this needs to be said.

@Freeatlast2014 why the fuck would you text your stbxh? You have a restraing order saying you two can only talk about the kids. So im thinking joint birthday parties are a no and you are making it seem that you arent afraid of him. So what is it? Are you afraid of your stbxh or not?

freeatlast2014

I'm not trying to have a party with him. I'm throwing my own and he nor his family are welcome. I am throwing a friend party and inviting the kids at daycare. If he planned on throwing a friend party too that would be ridiculous so I would not plan my own friend party. Get what I'm saying?
I'm not crazy! Lol

freeatlast2014

And also texts about the kids are allowed. @MinnesotaMomma91‌

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