~*~*~ August Angels Check-In 8/4/14 ~*~*~

mara005

August Mommas

This check-in is for mommas who lost a baby due in the month of August (any year), and any late loss mommas who gave birth and lost their precious angel in August.

New to the check in: Welcome. I'm so sorry you find yourself here but hope you find the love and support you need from the amazing women on TTCAL. Tell us a bit about yourself, where you are in the TTCAL process, and don't forget to include your August EDD or birth date.

Current members: Let me know if you have any updates to the information below, or if you get a BFP please send me a PM with along with your EDD!

For everyone: How are you lovely ladies doing this week? Where are you in the TTCAL process this week? Any appointments coming up?

If you don't have a special message below, it just means you weren't able to check in last week or haven't checked in for a while. So, let us know what's up with you TTC and otherwise so I can include it next week!

The List:

LiaMadi1: EDD 8/3/13 and 8/7/14

katib77: EDD 8/7/14

NoeliaV: EDD 8/23/14 

mara005: EDD 8/27/14

sfazar: EDD 8/4/14

lundlebean: EDD 8/5/14

@katib77:  how are you feeling? Pre ((hugs)) for Thursday

@NoeliaV:

@LiaMadi1: Hello Love, I'm including you in our check in but please don't feel pressured or obligated to participate until if/when you're ready.  ((hugs))

@sfazar: Giant ((hugs)) today, how are you?

@LundleBean: ((hugs)) for CD2 and for tomorrow

QOTW: How do you usually Bump? Mobile or computer? At work or home?

katib77

Big hugs this month to all of us August moms. I'm trying to get everything done for my mom's upcoming visit this Friday so that Thursday for edd I don't have anything to do aside from honor my LO. I go back and forth from thinking I'll be OK, to worried I'll be such a mess that I'll have to call off work that night. But trying to tell myself either way - it's ok...either emotion is valid.

My plan is to go out to take photos of the beauty in the world (same thing I did for my first loss on that edd) and when we move into our new house frame my favorite shot from each day and hang in a guest bedroom. And I'm also giving myself a pass until next week on my weight knowing I stress eat but come mid Aug need to get back to working out and pre IVF and loss weight.

LundleBean

Hugs to those who need them this week.  I am thinking of you all.  Tomorrow I am making a stepping stone for my new garden in honor of my LO.

My FET is back on track and my transfer is this Thursday.

ETA: QOTW: I read all day mobile from my Kindle, but can't reply there for some reason.  When I am able to reply, I am at my computer at home.

dawnstar898

First off, hugs to all you ladies on here.
I have been so hesitant to intro on here because I have such mixed emotions.  My first loss EDD was in April of 2014 and I never participated in any check ins or anything like that.  I guess my thought was to try and forget or at least just not think about it.  Well that failed miserably because even though I couldn't quite remember the actual date, when April did come I was so sad!  So even though I don't want to dwell on my losses, I feel like support is definitely necessary.  So here I am, facing my second loss EDD and still not pregnant again, if I remember correctly it was August 25, 2014.  I hope you ladies will have me.

Special (((hugs))) to @Liamadi1 @sfazar @katib77 and @lundlebean this week.  I will be thinking about you guys and your sweet angels.

katib77

LundleBean said:

Hugs to those who need them this week.  I am thinking of you all.  Tomorrow I am making a stepping stone for my new garden in honor of my LO.

My FET is back on track and my transfer is this Thursday.

So glad your FET transfer is on track. Good luck with your ET. And I hope tomorrow you find some comfort in making the stepping stone, beautiful tribute to your lost LO.

mara005

Welcome @dawnstar898 ((hugs))

@katib77 and @lundlebean sounds like you both have lovely plans for your EDDs, I will be thinking of you and you little ones. ((hugs))

katib77

And @mara005‌ how aree YOU doing? Check in leaders need to check in too!

NoeliaV

@katib77 Thinking of you this week. I hope your day is filled with beautiful things

@lundlebean Sending you all my hugs today, and keeping my FX for your transfer

>:D<

@mara005 How are you today?

@LiaMad1 I was so sorry to hear your news, love. Big, big hugs.

@dawnstar898 I remember you from the month board. Welcome to this side.

AFM: CD3. And I don't want to talk about it, really. I'm beginning to feel that maybe we should just let this wish go. But. But. I saw 3 rainbows in the span of 5 days, and this teeny, tiny little voice in my head said that, maybe, my baby is still waiting for me. And now I'm crying because why did it have to be this way? (<-- that's meant for me and for all of us on this post-loss journey. It still sucks.)

QOTW: Mostly at work, on computer. When I'm mobile my internet access can be finicky, so it's hard to keep up and check-in.

mara005

AFM: I'm waiting for AF to show so I can call for CD3 blood work and schedule my HSG. DH had a hard time with the SA, so that didn't get done this weekend. I knew it would be hard for him, so I'm tying not to pressure him.
Today I got other blood work done and think that AF will be here tomorrow or Thursday. I don't anticipate being so emotional about this one (usually I cry every month) because I know we have this RE plan so I'm more hopeful I guess.

Other than that, I have a lot of church stuff going on and getting ready for the school year.

LundleBean

@mara005  It really does change the mindset when you're busy working on cycling.  Good luck with your HSG.

@HoldingOutHope  Thank you so much

@NoeliaV  Sorry you're feeling this way; I'm thinking of you.

@dawnstar898 Welcome to the group

@katib77 I hope you find a fantastic photo; what a beautiful idea!

sfazar

Hi Ladies,

          Thank you for so very much for remembering me.  It meant a lot to know that you were thinking of me this week.  I'm sending lots of good vibes to you as well!  My apologies that the rest of my message is a blue one--I'm just so drained emotionally today.

WARNING: Positive HPT & CP mentioned

          So sorry for my silence--I have had a really rough few days. I started feeling super blue as my EDD approached. I had not anticipated that--I cried myself to sleep each night. Then on the EDD, I had a faint positive FRER. This was my first Clomid cycle. The positive continued for 3 days but got more faint, I strongly felt something wasn't right--with my other pregnancy the lines got darker. Tonight I am bleeding, so I am assuming it was a CP, and I feel so blue about that--like there is really some underlying, undiagnosed problem preventing me from conceiving and carrying to term.  

         I went to my doc for a blood draw yesterday.  I called in as soon as I got the positive because I wanted beta tests to document this, so I am hoping that he might be able to give me further recommendations.  I do have concerns about him as a doctor, especially how quick he was to prescribe Clomid and his lax monitoring, so I might be looking for someone new.  

           Thank you for listening!  I'll be back to my more positive self next week.  I just had a tough day. I feel so very grateful to be able to share here. My husband is working still at 11 pm, and I can't call him at work.  I can't talk to my family about this, and I have no close girlfriends who know about our struggles.  

            I tried to be mindful of my bright spots today, like being able to hold my furbaby--how could I ask for anything more than her!  And I harvested such a bounty in my garden because my mom had been in town and cooked meals for us using mostly store bought ingredients (insane, I know).  I went on a cooking marathon to keep my mind off things.  I chose eggplant as the theme ingredient and made 3 separate dishes--a soup, salad and appetizer. I also used one of my mammoth zucchinis to make zucchini bread (never have had it / made it before).  I only wish my husband would return.

xxoo

NoeliaV

@sfazar
((( hugs )) for you. 

mara005

@sfazar ((hugs)) I'm so sorry this has happened, it couldn't be worse timing. Please PM me if you want to talk.