My DH was just telling me that he read an article about a woman who was arrested and fired from McDonalds because she let her 9 yo play at a park nearby alone while she worked. I can't decide. It does seem young.
Yeah, I saw that. I feel kinda torn--on one hand, the mom clearly couldn't afford to pay for childcare. At the same time, I don't feel what she did was a great solution, either. Hey, how about, instead of using the money you'd spend prosecuting her, you funnel that into hiring a couple people to monitor the park next summer and create a safe space for kids to go if their parents can't afford childcare? (Sounds like the area is being used for public programs anyway--it's where the free summer lunch program was operating out of, from what the article I read said.)
The article I read said her McDonald's did not fire her but wanted to keep her on and was supporting her, but maybe that changed. And here I had something to be proud of McD's for for once.
And--here's where I'm concerned--SC has no legal age for being left alone. So--think you're ok to leave your ten year old home alone? Maybe not. There's some law on the books that can be molded to charge you if someone wants to.
Using naptime to work out is overrated. I'm on here instead and will then try to work out when she is awake. It's a brilliant plan, I'm sure.
I was working out in the morning before everyone was awake but that got old fast. Now I do it after she wakes up and it actually works fairly well. She gets in the way some but I just keep going and don't worry too much about getting frustrated.
It's awfully cute when she joins in. Although, planks are definitely harder when she tries to sit on me.
My DH was just telling me that he read an article about a woman who was arrested and fired from McDonalds because she let her 9 yo play at a park nearby alone while she worked. I can't decide. It does seem young.
I think leaving a kid at a park is even worse than leaving the kid at home. Someone could more easily prey upon the child in public. Besides, what kid spends 9-10 hours at a park?
When I was a lifeguard, there were a handful of kids that spent all day at the pool while their parents were at work. A summer pool pass was way cheaper than day camp.
When we were kids, we were locked out of the house from the time we woke up until our dad got home during the summers. My mom would leave water and sandwiches on the front steps at lunch time, and we were allowed to come in one time to use the bathroom. My mom didn't care what we did or where we went as long as we weren't bothering her. It scares me now to think of what could have happened to us. We went allllll over.
My daughter just threw a full out tantrum because I wouldn't draw anymore meow meows (cats). There are currently 30 chalk cat faces on my driveway (drawn over the course of a few days). How many will be enough?
My MiL keeps posting weird passive aggressive shit on Facebook about love and trust and things she never normally posts about. I'm pretty sure it's directed at me so it's really annoying. If you have something to say, say it! And she keeps sharing all my pics of the boys onto her page. Just in the past week or two, she had never done it before. I'm kind of upset by it because I monitor my FB friends list pretty closely and have some pretty tough privacy settings that I know she doesn't have. But I'm too chicken shit to say anything to her. I need to mess with my FB settings to see if I can block people from sharing my photos. Is that an option?
DH stayed home from work today, because I am struggling. I feel really guilty for asking him to help me more, because he works full time and I'm at home with the kids. I know it's stupid to feel guilty, but everyone I know IRL is very much a "he works so you deal with the kids and home 24/7".
Miles won't feed properly, he won't feed while he's awake, but won't go to sleep. So it's been so hard with wrangling a toddler and trying to get a baby to feed.
I also told DH he would be fucked if I died tomorrow. He would have to learn how to cook, clean, find his own shit when he loses it, and raise the kids. He doesn't realise how easy he's got it.
that sounds so friggen stressful I'm sorry! Have you seen a LC?? I really struggled nursing Colby. For months it was excruciatingly painful, eventually it got better though! Haha
DH stayed home from work today, because I am struggling. I feel really guilty for asking him to help me more, because he works full time and I'm at home with the kids. I know it's stupid to feel guilty, but everyone I know IRL is very much a "he works so you deal with the kids and home 24/7".
Miles won't feed properly, he won't feed while he's awake, but won't go to sleep. So it's been so hard with wrangling a toddler and trying to get a baby to feed.
I also told DH he would be fucked if I died tomorrow. He would have to learn how to cook, clean, find his own shit when he loses it, and raise the kids. He doesn't realise how easy he's got it.
Sorry that you're having a rough time. I also don't understand why having a job means that your SO has to take care of the kids and home 24/7. He doesn't work 24/7 so why do you have to? Asking for help was the right thing to do, you need a break too. I hope things get easier for you soon. Good luck!
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
I think there is actually a law in place about how old kids can stay home by themselves. I *think* it's 12 but I'm not positive and it might actually vary by state
I don't think I'd feel comfortable leaving my kid for the whole day until she was 12, but my kids are so young right now, maybe I'm not qualified to say...
Illinois is 14? That seems excessive to me. I was babysitting when I was 12. Not mother's helper while mom is home sitting, but going to houses and staying there by myself sitting.
I was like 70 when I was 12, though, so I think it depends hugely on the kid. But for a law? 14 is a little old as a minimum IMO.
This was me too. My lil bro is 11 years younger than I am, so I was sitting for an infant at 11 for a few hours at a time. Being home alone was common.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Kid #2 - maybe???
Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube #11 or IVF with scarring still inside? 1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
My MiL keeps posting weird passive aggressive shit on Facebook about love and trust and things she never normally posts about. I'm pretty sure it's directed at me so it's really annoying. If you have something to say, say it! And she keeps sharing all my pics of the boys onto her page. Just in the past week or two, she had never done it before. I'm kind of upset by it because I monitor my FB friends list pretty closely and have some pretty tough privacy settings that I know she doesn't have. But I'm too chicken shit to say anything to her. I need to mess with my FB settings to see if I can block people from sharing my photos. Is that an option?
Don't quote me, but I am pretty sure FB recently updated their policy so that if someone shares a pic you post on your page, it is not available to her whole list, only the people you have in common.
Now if she is saving the pic and reposting completely, it goes to her whole list.
I am sorry you are dealing with her too. How annoying.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Kid #2 - maybe???
Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube #11 or IVF with scarring still inside? 1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
DH stayed home from work today, because I am struggling. I feel really guilty for asking him to help me more, because he works full time and I'm at home with the kids. I know it's stupid to feel guilty, but everyone I know IRL is very much a "he works so you deal with the kids and home 24/7".
Miles won't feed properly, he won't feed while he's awake, but won't go to sleep. So it's been so hard with wrangling a toddler and trying to get a baby to feed.
I also told DH he would be fucked if I died tomorrow. He would have to learn how to cook, clean, find his own shit when he loses it, and raise the kids. He doesn't realise how easy he's got it.
Ugh who cares what people IRL think. Things stay "new-baby-super-hard" for such a short time in the scheme of things, and none of them will remember what you did or didn't need/get help with. But for you, when you're in it and it's your life, it can make the difference between barely surviving and thriving for the whole family. Glad you're handing some things over to your DH.
I totally get where you're coming from on the "you're screwed if I die" front. My DH is very hands on, but it's crazy the things he relies on me for, without even thinking about it. He just found out where we store the extra diapers like a month ago, and he asks for complete instructions any time he has to feed one of the girls anything. Then again, there are probably things I'd be screwed with if he died tomorrow too- I can't even open the stupid pickle jars by myself half the time haha.
My MiL keeps posting weird passive aggressive shit on Facebook about love and trust and things she never normally posts about. I'm pretty sure it's directed at me so it's really annoying. If you have something to say, say it! And she keeps sharing all my pics of the boys onto her page. Just in the past week or two, she had never done it before. I'm kind of upset by it because I monitor my FB friends list pretty closely and have some pretty tough privacy settings that I know she doesn't have. But I'm too chicken shit to say anything to her. I need to mess with my FB settings to see if I can block people from sharing my photos. Is that an option?
Don't quote me, but I am pretty sure FB recently updated their policy so that if someone shares a pic you post on your page, it is not available to her whole list, only the people you have in common.
Now if she is saving the pic and reposting completely, it goes to her whole list.
I am sorry you are dealing with her too. How annoying.
ugh idk. I just went on her page and a bunch of people liked and commented on them that we aren't FB friends with. I'm going to go through my privacy settings now. So frustrating.
My DH was just telling me that he read an article about a woman who was arrested and fired from McDonalds because she let her 9 yo play at a park nearby alone while she worked. I can't decide. It does seem young.
I think leaving a kid at a park is even worse than leaving the kid at home. Someone could more easily prey upon the child in public. Besides, what kid spends 9-10 hours at a park?
When I was a lifeguard, there were a handful of kids that spent all day at the pool while their parents were at work. A summer pool pass was way cheaper than day camp.
Our private club was my baby sitter many summers. A year family membership was the price of three weeks at a sitter. Win for all. I had an awesome tan too.
This is such weird timing, I had a conversation with some ladies at work last Saturday about the Latch Key hours and leaving their kids home alone. I wanted to know what was normal and most common. The consensus among the ladies at work was by 9 years old they were getting off the bus and letting themselves in till the parents got home an hour or two later. They didn't mention leaving them longer than that.
@MarisaKathleen I'm sorry. I'm sending positive thoughts and well wishes her way!
On a more positive not I have a job interview Monday for a full-time position. I did, like, 5 tuck jumps in excitement after I got off the phone with the interviewer, no lie.
Edited. Thank you everyone for your positive words!
@OceanLover26
I'm sorry you're going through this, I would be upset too. I think you need to confront him, but I think you're wise to do it when you can address it calmly. Did the therapist have any suggestions for how to work through a conversation like this? Hugs. And congrats on the job interview!
@OceanLover26 I'm really sorry. I'll be thinking of you. Good for you for holding your tongue until you're ready for the conversation. Best of luck to you with all of it:(
@OceanLover26 huge hugs to you. It is so hard when your spouse isn't honest with you. It really breaks you down as a person. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Can you give your therapist a call and ask for help on how to have a conversation with your H? Best of luck!
Oh goodness melsa definitely call an LC! You have been struggling for a while now, that is no fun! Breast feeding is hard enough with a cooperative baby! I hope that you get things resolved quickly! And tell Andy to stop being a shit
@OceanLover26 huge hugs to you. It is so hard when your spouse isn't honest with you. It really breaks you down as a person. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Can you give your therapist a call and ask for help on how to have a conversation with your H? Best of luck!
@Oceanlover26 I agree with all of this. It may be helpful to go back to counseling to have the conversation. I am so sorry. Good luck with everything.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Kid #2 - maybe???
Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube #11 or IVF with scarring still inside? 1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
When we were kids, we were locked out of the house from the time we woke up until our dad got home during the summers. My mom would leave water and sandwiches on the front steps at lunch time, and we were allowed to come in one time to use the bathroom. My mom didn't care what we did or where we went as long as we weren't bothering her. It scares me now to think of what could have happened to us. We went allllll over.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your husband so much. I don't think there's an easy way to have conversations like that- your pain will show and that's okay, and probably good for your DH to see. I'd maybe just think through/write down the points you want to make and start off with the fact that your family members have noticed his IG activity and you feel humiliated and like your losing trust again. Is it possible to have the conversation with the therapist or in a session? Hugs, mama, you'll make it through this.
Thank you ladies! Our therapist has talked to us about how to confront issues so that we deal with them accordingly and don't let them add up. She said to be open and honest and clear. I've considered more than once scheduling an appointment for just myself so I can work through this and build myself up for my upcoming decision, and I think I'll go ahead and call on that one today. You ladies are amazing and I appreciate you very much.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your husband so much. I don't think there's an easy way to have conversations like that- your pain will show and that's okay, and probably good for your DH to see. I'd maybe just think through/write down the points you want to make and start off with the fact that your family members have noticed his IG activity and you feel humiliated and like your losing trust again. Is it possible to have the conversation with the therapist or in a session? Hugs, mama, you'll make it through this.
I actually made some notes so that I could start organizing my thoughts! I didn't think about taking him back to the therapist to confront him there. I'll consider that. I'm definitely going there myself.
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your husband so much. I don't think there's an easy way to have conversations like that- your pain will show and that's okay, and probably good for your DH to see. I'd maybe just think through/write down the points you want to make and start off with the fact that your family members have noticed his IG activity and you feel humiliated and like your losing trust again. Is it possible to have the conversation with the therapist or in a session? Hugs, mama, you'll make it through this.
I actually made some notes so that I could start organizing my thoughts! I didn't think about taking him back to the therapist to confront him there. I'll consider that. I'm definitely going there myself.
Good idea to talk to your therapist alone and get some feedback about the best way to proceed. She might suggest both of you coming in, or might feel it's better to talk on your own (I'm not sure a confrontation in-office is every therapist's style, but she might suggest filling a mediator role).
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your husband so much. I don't think there's an easy way to have conversations like that- your pain will show and that's okay, and probably good for your DH to see. I'd maybe just think through/write down the points you want to make and start off with the fact that your family members have noticed his IG activity and you feel humiliated and like your losing trust again. Is it possible to have the conversation with the therapist or in a session? Hugs, mama, you'll make it through this.
I actually made some notes so that I could start organizing my thoughts! I didn't think about taking him back to the therapist to confront him there. I'll consider that. I'm definitely going there myself.
Good idea to talk to your therapist alone and get some feedback about the best way to proceed. She might suggest both of you coming in, or might feel it's better to talk on your own (I'm not sure a confrontation in-office is every therapist's style, but she might suggest filling a mediator role).
Thank you, I didn't think of that. The more I've thought about it, I've decided I'm going to go in on my own to see her, and then deal with this at home after. There's going to be a lot to this, I'm sure, so I think that he and I doing it alone would be best.
@OceanLover26, I admire your restraint. I call my DH out on stuff right when it happens when I'm full of emotion because for me personally, when I sit and stew, it's so, so, so much worse in my head. I'm so sorry you're dealing with his shenanigans again. Hopefully it'll all get worked out.
Re: Besides the UO
that sounds so friggen stressful
Emma Rose - 9.14.05 Beckett - 5.26.07 Sawyer - 9.22.12 Lennon Mae - 9.26.14
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
I totally get where you're coming from on the "you're screwed if I die" front. My DH is very hands on, but it's crazy the things he relies on me for, without even thinking about it. He just found out where we store the extra diapers like a month ago, and he asks for complete instructions any time he has to feed one of the girls anything. Then again, there are probably things I'd be screwed with if he died tomorrow too- I can't even open the stupid pickle jars by myself half the time haha.
ugh idk. I just went on her page and a bunch of people liked and commented on them that we aren't FB friends with. I'm going to go through my privacy settings now. So frustrating.
Our private club was my baby sitter many summers. A year family membership was the price of three weeks at a sitter. Win for all. I had an awesome tan too.
This is such weird timing, I had a conversation with some ladies at work last Saturday about the Latch Key hours and leaving their kids home alone. I wanted to know what was normal and most common. The consensus among the ladies at work was by 9 years old they were getting off the bus and letting themselves in till the parents got home an hour or two later. They didn't mention leaving them longer than that.
@MarisaKathleen I'm sorry. I'm sending positive thoughts and well wishes her way!
On a more positive not I have a job interview Monday for a full-time position. I did, like, 5 tuck jumps in excitement after I got off the phone with the interviewer, no lie.
Edited. Thank you everyone for your positive words!
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
I'm so sorry you're struggling with your husband so much. I don't think there's an easy way to have conversations like that- your pain will show and that's okay, and probably good for your DH to see. I'd maybe just think through/write down the points you want to make and start off with the fact that your family members have noticed his IG activity and you feel humiliated and like your losing trust again. Is it possible to have the conversation with the therapist or in a session? Hugs, mama, you'll make it through this.
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
I actually made some notes so that I could start organizing my thoughts! I didn't think about taking him back to the therapist to confront him there. I'll consider that. I'm definitely going there myself.
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
Dexter 08/31/2012~Summer 07/25/2011~Jack 10/21/2008~Aaron 08/12/2007
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14