When is a good time to have my first baby?

bluepie19

I have been married for about 5 months. Everyone tells my Husband and I that we should wait at least a year before babies. Because of everyone's advice Hubby is dead set against trying now, he wants to wait a year. I have always wanted to be a mom. Now that I am married I can't stop thinking about having a baby. I would like to know when you had your first child, and was there anything you would have changed?

dogperson11

We're about to have our first child and we have been married almost 5 years. We have had a great relationship, both before and during marriage, but I can't imagine adding the stress of a new baby (emotionally, financially) to our first year or two of marriage when we were still trying to figure out ourselves and our relationship. I know lots of people do it, but I look back on those first few years and am glad we weren't "tied down" with a child.

momtosam

I agree with PPs. We did not wait. I was 6 months pregnant at our wedding. Needless to say, we never really got to enjoy life as newly weds and jumped right into family mode. While a lot of joy came with having a child early in our marriage, a lot of struggles came too. Some that we are only starting to work on now, 3 years into our marriage. We are finally getting back to a great place in our relationship. If you are both ready. Then go for it. But if your spouse is not ready, you really need to wait till he is ready to build your family together. You BOTH need to be ready. Enjoy your married life. Take some trips, go on dates. Get used to each other. Then start building your family. GL. 

larsonbussman

My husband and I are in our mid to late 30's.  We have been together a few months shy of 3 years (living together all of the time).  We have been married since this past Sept, and we started trying as of April.  Hoping to get a BFP sooner then later.

allonsyalonso

We got married when our son was 3 weeks old. We didn't wait very long to try again, either. We have very personal reasons for doing things the way we did. I think every situation is a little different and it's hard for anyone to tell you when the best time is. It's a very personal decision.

That being said, if your husband does not want to TTC right now, then it is definitely not the right time for you two as a couple to be trying to have a baby. You both need to be ready for that. If he wants to revisit the idea in a year, great. But until then, spend your time learning about each other and enjoying being married.

maggie515

I know people that wait 5yrs and I know people that hope for a honeymoon baby. I also know people that want a baby and a wedding doesn't matter to them so they don't get married. Bottom line is, the perfect time to have a baby is when you both want it. And if life does it different for you then you go with the flow. We got married when ds was 15 months old. I got pregnant with ds2 a month later. Our family is perfect for us cause it's what we wanted. We still have traveled the world and gone to school and had careers. It's just the timing that is right for you

TRP85

We've been married two years (on Monday:) and are going to start TTC in the fall. I am so glad we took some time to become more financially stable and enjoy one another before deciding to start trying. I feel that we are in a much better financial place now and have had some room to grow as a couple so we are better equipped to provide the best home and family we can for our future LO.

CallMeShoes

It's a good time whenever you BOTH feel ready, and are in a financial position to have a baby.

transplantedhawkeye

40 weeks after conception.

Sorry, had to.

PB&J714

As PPs have mentioned, it's such a personal decision. It really depends on whether both of your are ready and want to have a child. There is no magic number that will automatically make you ready to be a parent. DH and I dated for 5 years before we got married and we lived together for about a year before marriage. Not a whole lot changed after we exchanged rings because we had already learned to live with one another. We have been married now for 2 years. I have been ready to TTC for about a year now, but he isn't ready. We sat down and talked about what he needs to be ready. We made a budget (his main concern was having a large amount of money saved for all of the just-in-case's) and set a timeline. We will be TTC this coming April and now we are both excited about it!

MitoRachel

I got pregnant with our first right after our 1 year wedding anniversary. I was ready to start TTC about 4 months after we got married, but didn't push the issue and DH let me know when he was ready. I am glad we waited until we were both ready. I would hate to have a baby screaming in the middle of the night and for DH to feel like he got dragged into having a baby against his will. We are kind of in the same situation now, but I don't know if DH will ever want a third. Oh well!

LucilleAustero

We got pregnant 5 months after the wedding, on our third month of trying. It was perfect timing for us. I don't think there is any set answer for this. It is whatever works for you and your husband.

 

jennypolkadots

There are more important factors than how long you have been married. The biggest, unfortunately, is money for most of us. Will you be staying home? Can you afford daycare? Do you know the costs of things? Do you have other financial goals? It's equally as important that your relationship and marriage are very strong and can deal with the changes a baby brings. I was married 3 years before we ttc and got ku first month. Now 13 weeks along. Anyways... we could have made it work immediately after marriage but I am glad we waited. While waiting we saved money, bought a house, and I got into a way more flexible job... all done with the intent of having babies eventually. We could still be more prepared, but I'm comfortable with the decision. So no one can answer this for you really.

leela02

I'm pregnant with my first, DH & I have been married for 8 yrs. We had unstable jobs and health concerns for a long time and then it took us years of TTC to get a BFP. I wouldn't change anything except I wish I had met DH much earlier in life, but I couldn't really control that!

You have to look at numerous factors and also your situation as a whole. You and your hubby should both feel emotionally ready so that you don't introduce any unnecessary pressure or resentment into your relationship. You and hubby should also agree on how you plan to handle child care, work, finances, etc. before you start trying, so that you are both on the same page.

mamablue85

Honestly, there's always going to be something that makes your situation less than ideal for bringing another person into this world. I think the best time is when you are financially and emotionally stable. If your DH isn't ready, then I'd compromise. Tell him you've already waited 5months, he wants a year so settle on 9 months!