Can't do CIO. Nope, can't do it. Fuss for a minute while I finish peeing, sure. Wiggle and fuss for a minute at night getting self back to sleep, no prob. Anything longer than that physically hurts me. Can't do it. Nope, nope nope.
I hope to create a real siggy but first I need some sleep!
Just woke up to feed and cuddle my baby. We just had a moment where he looked at me and smiled. It was wonderful and so much better than hearing a crying baby.
Some of you saw this a lil late but in any moment I said I was letting LO CIO for a long time, it was for about 3-5min while me or dh were out of the bedroom and we tried waiting it a little to come in and soothe LO to see how she would act and/or go back to sleep. Of course I rock my baby when it's needed and cuddle as much as I can and for those thinking I did it for my own pleasure you are wrong. I still wake up at night and feed her maybe once or twice and she goes right back to sleep without me or DH having to rock her all the time, that was the poit we were trying to get when we started our so short CIO. LO never cried for more than 5 min and if she did it was because I was alone at home showering or doing other things and didn't hear it, so it might have been once or twice she cried and not because I was doing CIO. LO now after doing the way we did sleep in her crib every night, we feed her and kiss good night, put the pacifier in her mouth and she goes right to sleep nicely and happy. Moms do need to recharge, and when I have a good night of sleep even waking up to check/feed on LO I get the energy I need to cuddle, play and be the best mom I can for my LO during the day and when she needs at night. As a matter of fact I am up now after wakin up to feed her. Yes my baby comes first in all I do.
But... It is a slippery slope to start saying things like moms should always put a baby's needs before their own and that we should all be ok with being sleep deprived for the good of our children. There are moms on this board reading those messages and feeling like crap. There's a reason they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the plane, then attend to your kids. I'm not saying let your baby CIO while you sleep, but moms DO need to take care of themselves.
That's my only issue to pick with these CIO arguments. Carry on letting goats milk girl have it (cause 8 weeks old?!?!)
But... It is a slippery slope to start saying things like moms should always put a baby's needs before their own and that we should all be ok with being sleep deprived for the good of our children. There are moms on this board reading those messages and feeling like crap. There's a reason they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the plane, then attend to your kids. I'm not saying let your baby CIO while you sleep, but moms DO need to take care of themselves.
That's my only issue to pick with these CIO arguments. Carry on letting goats milk girl have it (cause 8 weeks old?!?!)
You are right it is a slippery slope however I don't think anyone is saying CIO is a crime and should never be tried. People just are sensitive to age it is tried and how it's used. V As you pointed 8 weeks is pretty ridiculous for trying it no matter how the child is which is what got people riled up. Secondly, CIO in the context of sleep training where you use it specifically for shorter periods ( not 30 mins) is one thing vs using it when you have to run errands, care for a toddler etc.
But... It is a slippery slope to start saying things like moms should always put a baby's needs before their own and that we should all be ok with being sleep deprived for the good of our children. There are moms on this board reading those messages and feeling like crap. There's a reason they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the plane, then attend to your kids. I'm not saying let your baby CIO while you sleep, but moms DO need to take care of themselves.
That's my only issue to pick with these CIO arguments. Carry on letting goats milk girl have it (cause 8 weeks old?!?!)
You are right it is a slippery slope however I don't think anyone is saying CIO is a crime and should never be tried. People just are sensitive to age it is tried and how it's used. V As you pointed 8 weeks is pretty ridiculous for trying it no matter how the child is which is what got people riled up. Secondly, CIO in the context of sleep training where you use it specifically for shorter periods ( not 30 mins) is one thing vs using it when you have to run errands, care for a toddler etc.
Actually quite a few people have said they would never do CIO, no matter what the age.
The gist of my message (and if it wasn't clear I'll blame the lack of sleep on my inability to form coherent thoughts) was that moms have to take care of themselves. And we (not just the board but society in general) has to be careful that we don't propagate this image of the all-sacrificing mom, because it's not healthy. Moms have to find a balance in taking care of everyone else and taking care of themselves.
@southerngal07 I'm not arguing that moms need to take care of themselves. However, if you chose to be a mom then one must accept that the infancy stage will be demanding and you cannot make your child CIO at 8 weeks or for that matter even 4 months in the name of sound sleep at night. We all make efforts to help LOs sleep cause lord knows we all need it. I use the principles of babywise but perhaps not to the point where my baby has to CIO. Not at least at this age.
Also people here said they would not use CIO but no one said the Ferber method ( if used correctly) should not be used. I won't use it but if you do I'm not going to judge you unless you are doing it at 8 weeks ;-).
So, legitimate question. If IRL someone you know is doing CIO at 8 weeks, would/should you say something? Because I have come across this a few times and ended up biting my lip and not saying anything.
I rarely say anything. People are not usually open to outside opinions on something like that and it only causes trouble to push in.
OP, our baby was colicky for the first 3 months and it sucked! He only wanted/needed to be held. We do a lot of baby wearing at our house. At night we split shifts and slept in seperate beds so the other could co sleep when they were on " Rudy Duty". It's hell when you're going through it but whenever I picked him up and he stopped crying instantly I knew we were doing the right thing. The power of human touch is amazing and like others have said its a short season in their lives when we get to hold them like this.
So, legitimate question. If IRL someone you know is doing CIO at 8 weeks, would/should you say something? Because I have come across this a few times and ended up biting my lip and not saying anything.
A family friend did cio at 5 weeks. It was posted on Fb that the baby did so good bc he only cried for 15 min... etc. I was shocked.... literally shocked by the number of people that congratulated and supported it! Not one person questioned it with the exception of myself.
So, legitimate question. If IRL someone you know is doing CIO at 8 weeks, would/should you say something? Because I have come across this a few times and ended up biting my lip and not saying anything.
If they were a good friend of probably say something like "wow that's really young. Everything I read said to wait until 6 months." If it was a Facebook acquaintance I would keep my mouth shut and defriend.
Really?
Yep.
Yikes. I would never be friends with someone like goat's milk, but I wouldn't automatically defriend someone over a parenting choice.
So, legitimate question. If IRL someone you know is doing CIO at 8 weeks, would/should you say something? Because I have come across this a few times and ended up biting my lip and not saying anything.
A family friend did cio at 5 weeks. It was posted on Fb that the baby did so good bc he only cried for 15 min... etc. I was shocked.... literally shocked by the number of people that congratulated and supported it! Not one person questioned it with the exception of myself.
I'm just surprised people post stuff like that on Facebook.
I would either have to rock her to sleep all night long or not get any rest at all.
And It was not like I could sit down and just pat her, I had to be walking around and rocking LO all night long or no sleep at all. Try having to do that day and night!
You have a baby. That's what you signed up for when you got pregnant. That's life with an infant. True CIO at 2 months is neglectful, in my opinion.
Like lots of us, I'm exhausted from being up with DS2 three times last night, but he was hungry. And even though I'm beat, I love snuggling with him in the middle of the night when it's quiet and just us. Even if I doze off while he's eating...
Suzy & Brian November 3, 2007 "...this one time, at band camp..." ;-)
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14
My Wedding Bio from back in the day
Hearing about an 8wk old CIO breaks my heart and makes me hate that any asshole can have a baby. And "knowing" your baby is a bullshit excuse. No 8wk old is able to self-soothe. You are only teaching that sweet baby that her cries will go unanswered so don't bother.
And before people get all twisted up I am NOT saying LO should never cry ever. Talking specifically about this scenario.
If someone I knew mentioned letting a child CIO that young I would speak up. Someone has to advocate for those babies. And yea, maybe I won't change their mind (but maybe I will!) and maybe they'll think I'm a busy body but if they didn't want my opinion they shouldn't have shared that information. Because if I don't say anything there's zero chance of them realizing CIO for a newborn is wrong.
So, legitimate question. If IRL someone you know is doing CIO at 8 weeks, would/should you say something? Because I have come across this a few times and ended up biting my lip and not saying anything.
If they were a good friend of probably say something like "wow that's really young. Everything I read said to wait until 6 months." If it was a Facebook acquaintance I would keep my mouth shut and defriend.
Really?
Yep.
Yikes. I would never be friends with someone like goat's milk, but I wouldn't automatically defriend someone over a parenting choice.
If acquaintances let their baby CIO, they may likely make other parenting choices I'd find questionable. If they're an acquaintance, then I'd defriend as well. Yes, over parenting choices. Dreaming said she'd unfriend an acquaintance, not an IRL friend.
also, I could see letting your cranky toddler cry for a few minutes during a nap they're fighting... but an 8 week old crying for 5 minutes? that's 5 minutes too long. at 8 weeks, they need more than an arm leaning in to pop a pacifier in their mouths and then leave again. I'm tired. I rock LO to sleep. I walked her around my bedroom for over an hour the other night when thunder woke her. I don't need to be told I'm "stronger than you" or whatever you said, PP. I'm doing what I need to do as a MOM, which I knew wasn't going to be easy but I signed up for it so she shouldn't suffer because I am tired/watching tv/cleaning. my floors don't know if they're dirty; my baby knows if she's alone and sad.
When one of my friends is using draconian parenting methods I try to friend them extra in hope that my hippie ways will rub off.
Seriously though some of my best friends use the cry it out method. I don't agree with it but it's their business. They don't agree with full term breast feeding but they realize that's my business.
PP, letting an 8 week old CIO is the most heartbreaking thing I've had to picture in a while. I absolutely cannot believe that there are people like this out there who think it's okay to neglect a baby in such a way. Yes, neglect. WTAF is wrong with you?! Your excuses suck ass, and they don't hold a drop of water.
Unfuckingbelieveablewtfwtfwtf!!!!!!
Everything I really want to say would get me banned. Please use your imaginations.
Re: CIO
Can't do CIO. Nope, can't do it. Fuss for a minute while I finish peeing, sure. Wiggle and fuss for a minute at night getting self back to sleep, no prob. Anything longer than that physically hurts me. Can't do it. Nope, nope nope.
Mom to Lily and Colin!
BFP #1 11/01/12 M/C 12/22/12 @11w4d
BFP #2 06/04/13 DS born 02/08/14
Of course I rock my baby when it's needed and cuddle as much as I can and for those thinking I did it for my own pleasure you are wrong. I still wake up at night and feed her maybe once or twice and she goes right back to sleep without me or DH having to rock her all the time, that was the poit we were trying to get when we started our so short CIO.
LO never cried for more than 5 min and if she did it was because I was alone at home showering or doing other things and didn't hear it, so it might have been once or twice she cried and not because I was doing CIO.
LO now after doing the way we did sleep in her crib every night, we feed her and kiss good night, put the pacifier in her mouth and she goes right to sleep nicely and happy.
Moms do need to recharge, and when I have a good night of sleep even waking up to check/feed on LO I get the energy I need to cuddle, play and be the best mom I can for my LO during the day and when she needs at night.
As a matter of fact I am up now after wakin up to feed her. Yes my baby comes first in all I do.
But...
It is a slippery slope to start saying things like moms should always put a baby's needs before their own and that we should all be ok with being sleep deprived for the good of our children. There are moms on this board reading those messages and feeling like crap. There's a reason they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the plane, then attend to your kids. I'm not saying let your baby CIO while you sleep, but moms DO need to take care of themselves.
That's my only issue to pick with these CIO arguments. Carry on letting goats milk girl have it (cause 8 weeks old?!?!)
The gist of my message (and if it wasn't clear I'll blame the lack of sleep on my inability to form coherent thoughts) was that moms have to take care of themselves. And we (not just the board but society in general) has to be careful that we don't propagate this image of the all-sacrificing mom, because it's not healthy. Moms have to find a balance in taking care of everyone else and taking care of themselves.
Also people here said they would not use CIO but no one said the Ferber method ( if used correctly) should not be used. I won't use it but if you do I'm not going to judge you unless you are doing it at 8 weeks ;-).
You know it's a bad one when alpha is the more normal of the crazies. Who I noticed, by the way, never came back after posting. So out of character...
Lol.
Yikes. I would never be friends with someone like goat's milk, but I wouldn't automatically defriend someone over a parenting choice.
I stop "following" people like this on fb.
I'm just surprised people post stuff like that on Facebook.
Like lots of us, I'm exhausted from being up with DS2 three times last night, but he was hungry. And even though I'm beat, I love snuggling with him in the middle of the night when it's quiet and just us. Even if I doze off while he's eating...
Bump Unofficial Glossary
TTC #1 since 9/2012
BFP #1 2/16/13, EDD 10/13/13, CP 2/21/13
BFP #2 6/2/13
Baby J-Bug 2/8/14 My Wedding Bio from back in the day
And before people get all twisted up I am NOT saying LO should never cry ever. Talking specifically about this scenario.
If someone I knew mentioned letting a child CIO that young I would speak up. Someone has to advocate for those babies. And yea, maybe I won't change their mind (but maybe I will!) and maybe they'll think I'm a busy body but if they didn't want my opinion they shouldn't have shared that information. Because if I don't say anything there's zero chance of them realizing CIO for a newborn is wrong.
Yikes. I would never be friends with someone like goat's milk, but I wouldn't automatically defriend someone over a parenting choice.
If acquaintances let their baby CIO, they may likely make other parenting choices I'd find questionable. If they're an acquaintance, then I'd defriend as well. Yes, over parenting choices. Dreaming said she'd unfriend an acquaintance, not an IRL friend.
also, I could see letting your cranky toddler cry for a few minutes during a nap they're fighting... but an 8 week old crying for 5 minutes? that's 5 minutes too long. at 8 weeks, they need more than an arm leaning in to pop a pacifier in their mouths and then leave again. I'm tired. I rock LO to sleep. I walked her around my bedroom for over an hour the other night when thunder woke her. I don't need to be told I'm "stronger than you" or whatever you said, PP. I'm doing what I need to do as a MOM, which I knew wasn't going to be easy but I signed up for it so she shouldn't suffer because I am tired/watching tv/cleaning. my floors don't know if they're dirty; my baby knows if she's alone and sad.
Seriously though some of my best friends use the cry it out method. I don't agree with it but it's their business. They don't agree with full term breast feeding but they realize that's my business.
PP, letting an 8 week old CIO is the most heartbreaking thing I've had to picture in a while. I absolutely cannot believe that there are people like this out there who think it's okay to neglect a baby in such a way. Yes, neglect. WTAF is wrong with you?! Your excuses suck ass, and they don't hold a drop of water.
Unfuckingbelieveablewtfwtfwtf!!!!!!
Everything I really want to say would get me banned. Please use your imaginations.