Late Term and Child Loss

Relationship Problems After A Loss

Am I the only one that is having relationship problems after a loss?I thought that after the loss of my daughter my husband and I would be closer but it seems to have pushed us apart.I almost feel as if he doesn't care as much as I do an he may feel that I am worthless to him now. He just up and left less than 2 months after my daughters death and advice or help? I really feel like I can't take nit being him it's like he left when I needed him the most.

Re: Relationship Problems After A Loss

  • **ticker warning**

    I am so sorry to hear he just up and left you.  I've heard countless stories of couples who had strains in their marriages after loss because they did not grieve the same way.  Many studies have shown that women grieve harder and longer than men do, while men internalize their grief.  But that really is not an excuse for him leaving during this time.  I wish I had advice for you, I really do.  I hope that you both can resolve the issues at hand soon and that he realizes that you need him now.  
  • I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. I've thought many times that I can see how couples would have problems after this type of devastating experience. When we first learned Lincoln was sick my husband and I had a hypothetical conversation about what would happen if he didn't make it. At that time he said he'd have to ask for a divorce, he couldn't see staying together and living with that sort of pain, and I agreed. We've talked about it more recently and both realized that divorcing would have meant running from the pain and trying to forget, which we don't want to do. We're the only ones who truly understand our loss and maybe we find comfort in that.

    I don't really have advice to offer, but I hope you both can find a way to find peace and comfort with each other instead of pain.

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  • ***SIGGY***

    Even after two years, my husband and I are STILL dealing with the backlash of our loss, to the point where we are considering divorce. I am so sorry that you are going through these things. We are going to try a round of counseling when he returns from deployment, and we have gotten better about communicating our feelings...but it has been so much harder to keep things together with my H than I thought they would. Please PM me if you ever need to talk. I'm so sorry. *hugs*


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