Unexpected triggers — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

Unexpected triggers

What unexpected or silly things trigger your grief?

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Re: Unexpected triggers

  • Today I had a dental cleaning that put me on a downward spiral. I made the appointment in December. I purposely waited seven months so that I would be comfortable leaving ds for an hour. He should be about a month old.

    The receptionist and the dental assistant both asked me if we had any other kids. I told them we lost ds in March. The receptionist told me, "in time?" Wth?! I'm trying to remember people mean well but it can be difficult.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

    msunshine123
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  • Ticker warning

     

    When the stuffed animal at her grave is wet and dirty.  It shouldn't be outside at a grave, it should be clean and dry in her room.  Even when I went to take it home to wash it, I lost it because she needed her stuff animal there with her and I couldn't bring myself to take it.

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

    lexusolsenmsunshine123hsabyanBayberry12
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  • When there aren't flowers at his gravesite I get upset. They pick up flowers once a week so it's only empty for a few hours between when they pick them up and when me or DH can get there to put place new ones, but it bothers me.

    Or when songs there were popular when I was pregnant come on, songs I used to sing to him before he was born and before we knew what was coming. 

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    lexusolsenmsunshine123stefugehsabyan
  • ***ticker***

    I was friends with three other ladies who were all expecting girls the same month as I was expecting Elsie. seeing pictures of two of them, I am fine. But the third one always sets me off. Her mom and I have been friends since middle school, so we had always talked about our kids being besties too.

    Certain songs, smells, etc. And anytime my mom or dad refer to my niece as their "favorite". They do it to build her up, but it breaks my heart. If Elsie were here, they would not say it.




    Lilypie - (qptF)


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."


    lexusolsenmsunshine123stefugehsabyan
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  • Certain songs, seeing other mom's with strollers that are the same as the one we purchased for our son, seeing other new mom's out with their newborns, my parents taking "family pictures" with all my nieces and nephews (but my son is missing)...
    stefugelexusolsenhsabyan
  • For me, it's seeing two little boys, brothers, out shopping with mom or at the park. I want DS to have a sibling so bad and it is so hard to see what he is missing out on.

    I also have a hard time with friends babies who were due at the same time as Colton, who are now the same age. That is really hard.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
    msunshine123lexusolsenNoethola
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  • For a while I have a very hard time seeing a mom with a child around the same age as my daughter AND another little one. It's just so easy for some people to get pregnant and stay pregnant and have a baby that lives.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
    lexusolsenmsunshine123
  • my daughter was 6 months old but it seems like everytime I go to a school I just get devastated that she will never get to go.....
    lexusolsenmsunshine123
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  • jml2ndjml2nd member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its

    I know it's soon and I'm still in the early stages of grieving [we lost both our boys at 28 weeks on July 16th], I have a hard time going by their room.  It was never completed, just used as storage because we were stock piling everything.  4 days before we got the news, my mom and I went on a shopping spree and bought 152 pieces of clothing, 7 boxes of diapers, etc.  My husband and I were pretty much done at getting everything we would have needed...and now I'm left with the thought "what do I do with it?....what should we keep in case we have a boy in the future?" 

     

    Plus, one of my great friends [whom I also work with] is pregnant with their first child, a boy.  Our due dates were 1 week apart from each other.  We called each other bump buddies!  She's having a hard time with our loss because she's scared now and I'm having a hard time with her wanting to visit because we shared that mommy bond! 

     

    Everything is just so surreal....I keep just wanting to wake up and everything be fine and dandy.  I feel like I'm living in a nightmare! :'(

    msunshine123lexusolsenScienceMama
  • MeNVMeNV member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I had a new one for me last night. I was in line behind a mom and her pre teen daughter at a store. They were doing back to school shopping and all that will never be with my Frannie just hit me. I started crying right there. I just wonder if it will be like this for the rest of my life. 
    Baby Boy - 03/29/10
    Baby Boy - 08/02/12
    Baby Girl - 04/19/14 Missing her everyday.



    msunshine123lexusolsen
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  • XathXath member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Photogenic
    edited August 2014
    ***rainbow mentioned***

    When I took my rainbow to his 2 month check-up.  We were sitting in the waiting room with a few other families.  They call you by the child's name.  A nurse came in and called for Eleanor, and I actually started to reach for the carseat and baby, thinking for a split second that I had Ellie with me instead of S.  Then I realized that was impossible because she is dead, and it all hit me like it had just happened again.   I broke down crying right there in the middle of the waiting room, looking like a crazy person.


    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    lexusolsenstefugemsunshine123Bayberry12
  • ***rainbow mentioned***


    When I took my rainbow to his 2 month check-up.  We were sitting in the waiting room with a few other families.  They call you by the child's name.  A nurse came in and called for Eleanor, and I actually started to reach for the carseat and baby, thinking for a split second that I had Ellie with me instead of S.  Then I realized that was impossible because she is dead, and it all hit me like it had just happened again.   I broke down crying right there in the middle of the waiting room, looking like a crazy person.


    These are all such sad stories. I hate that we all have to experience this pain. This one just broke my heart. I'm sorry this sounds like an awful day.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

    Xath
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  • ***rainbow mentioned***


    When I took my rainbow to his 2 month check-up.  We were sitting in the waiting room with a few other families.  They call you by the child's name.  A nurse came in and called for Eleanor, and I actually started to reach for the carseat and baby, thinking for a split second that I had Ellie with me instead of S.  Then I realized that was impossible because she is dead, and it all hit me like it had just happened again.   I broke down crying right there in the middle of the waiting room, looking like a crazy person.


    @gertiebarden‌ - this breaks my heart. So many ((hugs)). That had to be so painful.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
    Xath
  • I'm so sorry @gertiebarden, I can't imagine how much that must have hurt.
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Xath
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  • ****child mentioned in siggy**** Every time I hear his name (Logan). I also will never order/eat from the sandwich place that we ate for dinner the same night we went to the hospital and found out Logan had no h/b.
    BFP#1=1/17/08 Missed m/c: 3/19/08@ 12 w D&C 3/21/08 BFP #2=8/5/08 She arrived 4/16/09! image BFP#3 7/9/11 EDD:3/16/11 Logan Patrick born sleeping on 3/20/11 image
    lexusolsen
  • ***rainbow mentioned***


    When I took my rainbow to his 2 month check-up.  We were sitting in the waiting room with a few other families.  They call you by the child's name.  A nurse came in and called for Eleanor, and I actually started to reach for the carseat and baby, thinking for a split second that I had Ellie with me instead of S.  Then I realized that was impossible because she is dead, and it all hit me like it had just happened again.   I broke down crying right there in the middle of the waiting room, looking like a crazy person.


    Ugh that hurts.
    I also had a lot of split seconds when I thought I had Stella with me, and then remembered this is a different baby. It's all so twisted.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    BFP #1 Jan. 2011 - mmc Mar. 2011 
    BFP #2 Aug. 2011 - My sleeping angel Stella, born April 21, 2012 
    BFP #3 Nov. 2012 - mmc Dec. 2012
    BFP #4 April 2013 - mc May 2013
    BFP #5 Sept. 2013 - EDD 5.24.14
    lexusolsen
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  • ***Ticker warning***




    I have trouble seeing little blonde haired boys because that's always what I pictured our Jack to look like. We were at the RE's office last week and this woman, very pregnant, was there with her toddler(a little blonde) and husband. All the nurses were oooh and ahh'ing over the cute things he was saying. I couldn't even look at him. Then the mom, apparently having twins, told the nurse she'd be happy if they were 37weekers and 6lbs each that was the goal to make her happy. I said out loud, "Seems like having babies that are alive is a better goal". I got some nasty looks for that one, oh well, she was stupid she deserved an imaginary slap for that.
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





    lexusolsenMills0401
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