Hi... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss


Hello, I'm Katrina, otherwise known as mommybear87. I'm 26 from California and have been married 3 years. This past month my husband and I had an unexpected loss. We Found out we were pregnant Friday, June 13th. We were ecstatic! Thinking I was fairly early along, naturally; we were so full of hope and new goals. Babies are a miracle after all!. Well, June 19th my world was turned upside down and inside out. My husband and I went into our first Prenatal appointment and our Doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, a sac, nothing. all the while my HCg counts were high. So, there was a chance I was just really, really early. I was wisked off to get blood work done and then sent home. My doctor then called me at work an hour later and confirmed I was pregnant and made an appointment for me with radiology for the following day, to have a more thorough ultrasound . As I was laying on the table a loud strong heart beat played through the machine and as I turned my head to look the tech moved the screen, She asked me to close my eyes and allowed me to listen and enjoy the only part of my baby I would ever have. Though she didn't verbally say it I knew.  I just knew it my gut what was going on. and It was confirmed as I witnessed her type on the screen. 5 Mins later I was whisked off to my doctors office and told my pregnancy was Ectopic. and I was Almost 10 weeks along by the look of things!He showed me my baby. She looked so little. Like a doll. and she was stuck in a place she shouldn't be. Literal inches from where she should've been. an Interstitial pregnancy or (isthmic tubal pregnancy) as my chart said. I had to have emergency surgery because my doctor didn't know how I was not already bleeding or in pain. My tube was stretched to it limit.  ( I had no symptoms of a ectopic pregnancy. Aside from morning sickness I was pain free. Just plain tired all the time.) and They had to remove my right fallopian tube in the process. While my care was exceptional and I was allowed to morn and cry. I am still broken, We are still broken. My husband and I named our baby (at the guidance of the nurses who took care of me) : "Ellie Angel Anzaldua" Because Elephants never forget; and while I'm not an elephant, I am the mommy of an angel and that heart beat and silhouette are something I never want to erase from my memory. I am now a month into recovery and looking for people who understand my pain and truthfuly the guilt I feel. I feel as if I let my baby down. and I cant shake it. Anyway. I'm mommbear87.

Re: Hi...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Son: Jackson, 11/02/06, stillborn due to PPROM and IUGR. Over the next ten years we had 9 miscarriages from 8-14 weeks. On May 18, 2016 my daughter, Ridley, was born. We're OADNBC.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    BFP #1 3/7/2010 - DD born 11/16/2010
    BFP #2 12/20/2012 -  CP 12/22/2012
    BFP #3 1/10/2013 - Blighted Ovum 2/7/2013
    BFP #4 8/22/2013 - D&C 10/22/2013

    RPL testing discovered blood clotting issue

    BFP #5 3/9/2014 - Discovered baby no longer had a heartbeat at 20 week U/S, Induced Delivery & D&C 6/27/2014

    Awaiting Genetic results to determine steps forward

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  I was also able to hear my little girl's heartbeat- a sound I will cherish forever.  ((HUGS))
  • so sorry for your loss.


    BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
    BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
    BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I too had an ectopic without symptoms, my surgery was on June 11. There is a tremendous amount of pain, guilt, confusion and frustration that comes with this experience. I hope that you are able to take the time to heal not only physically but also emotionally, and realize you are not alone in this. If you need to talk feel free to PM me.

    ** Losses Mentioned **
    Me(32) - Low AMH (0.46) and DH(33) - All good!
    May 2014 - IUI (Follistim) = BFP! Ectopic. Surgery June 2014.
    August/Sept 2014 - IVF #1. BFP! Chemical Pregnancy.
    November 2014 - IVF #2; ER only - PGS testing 3 Frosties.
    December 2014 - FET #1 - Beta on 12/17!  BFP  *It's TWINS*

    image        image      image  
  • Thank you so much, I am having such a hard time with all of this... I feel so weak at times and guilty. Almost responsible. it stinks.
  • @angie9661 Thank you, honey. and I'm so sorry for yours. This is a terrible thing to have in common.
  • LimaDLimaD member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss... I hope you find some encouragement and support here.
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