Clicky Poll - A controversial one.

itsStackie

GraceInCA said:

itsStackie said:

@graceinCA is that true, that the highest divorce rates come from the Bible Belt? 

https://contemporaryfamilies.org/impact-of-conservative-protestantism-on-regional-divorce-rates/

Thanks. I know a lot plays into the rates and there are so many different ways people practice their beliefs.  I just don't notice this with the people I have the most contact with.

lioness13

I am totally writing Dunkin Donuts to ask them to do something about the obscene donut advertisements. I need them to help me guard my mouth and stomach. I am struggling with an addiction here!

buggybear87

I apologize if I came off sounding preachy, that was not my intent.  Obviously a woman is free to dress however she likes.  As the title of this poll said, it's controversial and I apparently am on one extreme end of the spectrum.  My husband and I have an amazing marriage, full of trust, love and respect. I know that no matter what he sees, he will always be mine.  And I agree that if seeing someone else makes a man want to leave his marriage that there are much bigger issues.  Everyone is responsible for their own struggles/temptations, but I believe we are supposed to be there to help one another, whatever the circumstances might be.

BunnyLove416

lioness13 said:

I am totally writing Dunkin Donuts to ask them to do something about the obscene donut advertisements. I need them to help me guard my mouth and stomach. I am struggling with an addiction here!

/ded

KittenGator

@lioness half of me thinks "yay, Dunkin Donuts" and every few months googles to see when they're coming to Washington State. The other half of me is glad they're not here to tempt me with their sexy wares; I don't need or want them anyways. 

But realistically when they open here I will go and buy some of the damn k-cups everyone talks about, drink some of those stupid iced drinks that are always on the commercials, and eat a damn donut. 

megandchase

I think if this lady's therapist gets wind of this blog post there will be a whole new conversation to begin!
I trust my husband enough to know that a trip to the beach isn't going to send him running to another woman! Honestly I do not have the bikini body I once had but still wear it to the beach sometimes. Never so I put it on thinking I want men to look at my boobs or that the bikini makes me more sexy.
I always feel sad for women (and men) like this bc I feel like their relationships will be a recipe of disaster. For me it all comes back to trust and it sounds like she has lost it completely.

cafecreme

I agree with pretty much everyone has said- she has some security issues, and we should promote modesty, but she has no authority on telling people what to wear, and because of it, it's ruining her marriage.

I had some really bad self esteem issues growing up, but my dad was never like "You can't wear that, take it off and wear something else!!". Now that's kinda BSC IMO. It's been running in my head for a day, and I'm trying to analyze where she's coming from, and honestly, it's not a good one. Her post never talked about her mom, so I'm guessing her father was the one who brought her up. He probably came from a very conservative, old school, religious background. I'm also guessing that since the mom isn't in the picture- maybe she was unfaithful, and then took it out on his daughter. I'm guessing lots of shaming and verbal abuse in her house growing up. Hence, even after she confessed, she was like "sorry dad". Like she'll still be punished for this, and trying to get forgiveness. I'm going to search a little more into the author...but I'm pretty sure I've hit the nail on the head in this one. How you write things is always and indication of yourself- how you live, and how you've been treated. 

eta: Either that, or she just posted controvesial nonsense to get hits on her site. 

KittenGator

cafecreme said:

eta: Either that, or she just posted controvesial nonsense to get hits on her site. 

I was thinking about that as a possibility myself. I try hard to see numerous sides of issues and rarely ever take a strong stance one way or the other because I can't discount other people's views and experiences; I don't think I'm a rarity in this- I think this is a normal adult skill. So when someone is realllllly on one side of things, I think that there's a possibility they might be in that minority but more likely if they're in the blog world- they're looking for some sort of attention for it. 

HelgaFunk

This has nothing yet everything to do with the article... I have a 13 year old step-son and he was mortified when I first started breastfeeding his little sister after she was born. He was torn between wanting to be with us and being embarassed that he could see the tops of my breasts. After about 2 months of this he came around more and more while I was breastfeeding and was less awkward about it. By the time I was done it was no big deal for him to see my boob and I really feel like it took away the mystery of them. Where I'm going with this is that I'm really hoping that this carries through into his adulthood so he doesn't turn into some boob deprived ogler and can just accept that women are beautiful for more than a couple fun bags on their chests.

WasNotWas

Just wanted to put this here...

TheTamedShrew

I bet her husband's an @ss man

No longer the best

OMG I had to come out of lurking for this! Like seriously?! I WANT my husband to look at and appreciate other women because it means he is passionate and lustful so long as he always comes home to me! I look at other men but this never takes away from my husband if anything it usually makes me desire him more and I like to think it works both ways. 

One of my Facebook groups I belong to actually had some posts about how you shouldn't breastfeed without a cover out of respect to recovering sexaholics that may also be at the mall (or wherever) and I REALLY lost my shit about that one. 

cafecreme

I was really perplexed by this blogger, so I sent her an email a few days ago, and asked her a few questions. She definitely is BSC. 

This was her response:

I had a complicated understanding of what modesty was growing up. My father liked the rules, but there wasn't much explaining of why. Actually, I kind of still hate the word 'modesty.' Things started to change for me, though, when I had guy friends who could put into words how my clothing choices affected them. I fell in love with the man who is now my husband, and I had never respected someone so much. So, I asked him to tell me if there was ever something I wore that caused him to struggle in his thought life. There were actually a couple of times when he asked me not to wear a certain shirt again because of the way it clung to a certain part of my body. Maybe this sounds over the top, but keeping a relationship pure as a young adult is next to impossible...I stumbled through it like everybody else. 

Please let me know if there's a way I can encourage you. And know that as a woman, our bodies are beautiful and attractive for a reason--AND sex in marriage is so incredibly awesome. It gets better all the time...it took me a while to get over the guilt of past mistakes, but God can redeem that, too. 

In His love,

Lauren

GraceInCA

Poor thing. I can't even imagine.

GraceInCA

Although, the more I read from her the less I like her. Someone who uses the word "hunk" so frequently to refer to her husband doesn't need to say so much about objectification.