**UO Thursday**

KatzKiss

I'm too tired to come up with a creative anything so just go...

KatzKiss

14whitney said:

My UO: I don't think the person that created the thread should have to come up with anything creative to say.

And if anyone thinks that's a UO, they can suck a nut.

KingLED

I don't hate intro posts and actually think they can be helpful. I will often go back and read them again to help me keep newer members straight when they start really being active. Or if they post weird things.

KatzKiss

MrsRexManing said:

Joy2611 said:

MrsRexManing said:

I really dislike children's clothing with sayings on them. 'Daddy's little princess', 'Mommy's little slugger', etc. etc. Barf. The stereotypes are so tired. It's not cute.

I hate "My mommy only wanted a backrub" and "My mommy read 50 Shades of Grey nine months ago."

 

Nope.  Noooooo.

Oh god no. I've seen one that says 'boob guy' on it. So many different types of wrong. 

kelley72

I wish I had pigtails as a little girl, my mom cut my hair short and permed it...  I looked like a little boy AND additionally had really dark hair and I couldn't shave until highschool!  Oh my gosh I had to use nasty/stinky nair only under my knees!   My UO: If I had a little girl I would not cut her hair or allow her to until she was 12ish/ but I would let her shave as soon as she asked!

luvbunny

Anyone care to explain UO? (It's not in the newbie glossary, I checked.) Thanks!

catwine

I sort of agree with @kelley72 about the hair cut thing.  I wouldn't want to cut my daughter's hair short for fear people would mistake her for a boy...which is kind of funny if you know me because I have short hair like a boy. But I mean, I'm clearly a woman!

KatzKiss

Unpopular Opinion

kelley72

MrsRexManing I know it's a little extreme, I'm all for trims and keeping it healthy and MUST be clean (my 14 yr old has long hair and my only "rule" about hair is that it has to be brushed and washed) but seriously I was warped as a scrawny, hairy legged  kid, I was ridiculous looking as a preteen.  I had issues serious ones about my body...

KingLED

christinafromflanders said:

I sort of agree with @kelley72 about the hair cut thing.  I wouldn't want to cut my daughter's hair short for fear people would mistake her for a boy...which is kind of funny if you know me because I have short hair like a boy. But I mean, I'm clearly a woman!

Why does it matter if she looks like a boy or a girl? Would you also not let your son have longer hair?

KatzKiss

I'll let my son do whatever he wants with as far as hair, clothes, piercings when he's a teenager as long as he's a good kid. I have firm beliefs in the importance of self expression. No tats until he's 18 though.

kelley72

EllyD14 No I let my boys have hair any length they want, I'd post a pic but prob not best place to, my 14 yr old son has pretty long hair and he's had it longer.  I recognize it's silly and that is why I said I would let her decide if/when she was about 12ish... I had really serious body issues as a teenager.  My insecurities had a lot to do with my appearance.  I hated how I looked.  I wouldn't want that for my child.  I may be skewed but I have boys and at this point in their development they for the most part just don't give a damn about things the way I did. 

KingLED

@kelley72‌ Sorry, my comment was in reply to @christinafromflanders‌ comment. I meant to take your tag out but forgot.

tlc35

MrsRexManing said:

In other news, I'm not sure my mom even combed my hair when I was a kid, let alone matching pigtails. My hair is a hot mess in nearly all my childhood pictures. She says I wouldn't sit still. This might be true. 

Mine too.  My hair was a hot mess in pics until I got old enough to figure it out myself.

Also, if my hypothetical kid wants to cut here hair, she can cut her hair.  It will grow back.  I will try to keep it clean and brushed unlike my parents!

KingLED

PenguinMG said:

I think controlling someones appearance in any way could cause issues. Your idea of beauty may not be the same as your daughters and by forcing your views on her, you are no different than your mom. 

Exactly this. Don't project you feelings and force them on your kid.

3houlagirl

kelley72 said:

MrsRexManing I know it's a little extreme, I'm all for trims and keeping it healthy and MUST be clean (my 14 yr old has long hair and my only "rule" about hair is that it has to be brushed and washed) but seriously I was warped as a scrawny, hairy legged  kid, I was ridiculous looking as a preteen.  I had issues serious ones about my body...

My mom kept my hair short until I was six, despite long, ugly battles about me wanting "princess hair." Even now, long hair is so tied up in my identity that I feel unlike myself when I get my hair cut above my shoulders. Thanks, mom.

On the leg hair note: I would add eyebrow maintenance to that. I went through my whole freshman year looking like a caveman. Once I figured it out it was MONTHS of crying before my mom let me get them waxed. Apparently she thought the Groucho Marx look was in...

kelley72

KatzKiss yep I agree, like I said only "rule" and I'm very relaxed about that one too is that he needs to be bathed/clean.  I really have no concept of what I'd be like with a girl and I recognize that I would probably be as ok with her doing/being/dressing/looking how she wants for the most part except as a preteen I would not encourage or be ok with "sexy" type clothing.  As for a preteen (or younger) girl wanting short hair... I would again not encourage it- I think long/er hair is easier to deal with and if I'm taking care of it which as a parent you are for the first 8+years then I want easy: brush, ponytail it and go

PenguinMG yeah whatever there is a difference between controlling and preferring.  I recognize you are commenting based on what I originally said.   Also comparing me my mom is ok she is a really beautiful and loving woman.  I do things to the best of my ability as a parent just as she did. 

 

luvbunny

Joy2611 said:

UO = unpopular opinion

 

Just write something that you think that disagrees with that majority of the world.

 

Warning: They are NOT flame free.  Do choose carefully :-)

Thanks @Joy2611!

kelley72

14whitney my hair is long/ below shoulders and has for the majority of my adult life.  I said my mother made me cut it  ?

3houlagirl

My UO: I read an article on disciplining preschoolers, where the prevailing theory is that kids already feel bad for misbehaving, so parents shouldn't make them "feel worse" by punishing them. This is a crock of bull. If a kid misbehave, they need a consequence. All this hugging and coddling kids when they're being clearly defiant is what's creating the entitled brats of tomorrow.

kelley72

14whitney opps fail on my part! 

klmcguire

KatzKiss said:

MrsRexManing said:

Joy2611 said:

MrsRexManing said:

I really dislike children's clothing with sayings on them. 'Daddy's little princess', 'Mommy's little slugger', etc. etc. Barf. The stereotypes are so tired. It's not cute.

I hate "My mommy only wanted a backrub" and "My mommy read 50 Shades of Grey nine months ago."

 

Nope.  Noooooo.

Oh god no. I've seen one that says 'boob guy' on it. So many different types of wrong. 

Ummm Yea. I cannot handle those. DS stays at my parents house and she used to put these onesies on him and I secretly would throw them away when we got home so I didnt have to see them again. When she asks what happened to them I tell her I put them in the outgrown pile! OOPS

kelley72

PenguinMG yes you are correct, I did state I wouldn't let her and that was a poor choice of words.  Of course all of this is hypothetical and as of now I have no daughter so.... I also can change my mind.  It is funny that my issues of "looking like a boy" caused me pain, trauma, self doubt, etc in my preteen, etc years and my fear would be that the same would happen to my daughter even though I would NOT cut her hair and place the body care/shaving restrictions on her the way my mom did on me.  It is ironic that some people fear I would shame her/restrict her choices when in fact I would be much inclinded to go the opposite way. 

 I would not encourage her to cut her hair short though, is that better?

KingLED

I'm against all forms of gender stereotyping, not just appearance. Just to be clear. This is my big issue with @christinafromflanders‌ and @kelley72‌ comments.

kelley72

ehh whatever I'm sure that when you parent / as you age you will change your mind about things too

kelley72

@EllyD14 my post above was meant to be directed to @14whitney  I didn't quote and should have

yes @14whitney you are right about the what I said and it is possible that by forcing the direct opposite of what I wanted as a child I would/could create the same pain...

I do care about gender stereotyping.  I consider myself fairly open minded and want to learn and grow particularly if my words and actions are or could be harmful to others.  I am not immune to making mistakes. 

CocoMcGee

UO: I hate terms that are specifically used to disparage women. Bitch is the perfect example. Especially since there are no terms that specifically disparage men.

And I also hate that I still use that word. I really want to drop it from my vocabulary. But that's my own issue not an UO.

ToryKate

So on the kids hair issue, my mom had 3 girls in 3 years. That is a LOT of hair. The youngest had a bowl cut until she was 5 because it was easiest to wash and comb. 

I don't think there is anything wrong with as a parent keeping your kids hair short because you don't want to deal with the maintenance of long hair. When they are old enough to wash/brush/maintain it themselves then they can have it whatever length they please. But when I am the one tending to it they will have it the length I choose. 

KingLED

Since this seems to be unpopular with a few apartment complexes I've lived in, I'm sticking it here. Fire alarms that are set off by heat are fucking stupid and should not be used. They're dumb. Or, if they're going to be used, don't put them in places that are regularly really fucking hot! 

**I don't actually know anything about fire alarms other than having a heat detector (that is wired to all the others in an apartment) right outside a bathroom door is asinine. Fuck that nonsense. 

Signed, 

the girl that just fell off a chair trying to turn the damn thing off after her husband took a 90 minute hot shower and left for work.

WestCoastGirl05

MeatandBandP said:

kelley72 said:

ehh whatever I'm sure that when you parent / as you age you will change your mind about things too

Ugh I hate when people pull the 'Well I am a parent and you are not so you couldn't possibly understand' card. I am sure there are some topics in which this is true, but being against gender stereotyping really has nothing to do with being a parent versus not. 

I have to agree with this one! On a semi-different note, I worked with teenagers a lot in my early twenties (earlier than 26) and there was always this fear of mine when it came to bringing up a parenting style, or a reason why their teen was struggling with any idea. Parent's would look at me like "you're not a parent you don't know shit." Ok yes I am not a parent, but when someone is clearly struggling with something, whether it is an identity or anything for that matter - playing the "You don't get it" card - does not make you more intelligent, if anything it makes you more of an idiot for failing to see what those of us without children can see so plainly - end soap box.

My UO: I would almost always rather play any sport with men as opposed to women. Not because I don't think women can play sports, and not because I don't enjoy females company. I have just always been a bit of a tom boy, and any time I play anything with women, (tennis, soccer, any type of martial art I engage in) women are always competing with me (this is not meant to be humble bragging - I hate that). Men though they may compete with one another, are not competing with me. They assume that I'm the girl and I'm going ot do my own thing, which I honestly would take over the alternative. I'm not an inherently competitive person, so when I feel that there are girls out there always trying to be better than me, (again not humble bragging) it takes the fun right out of it. I feel the need to say this is not true in ALL cases. I have met some of my best friends by being invovled in a sporting activity, but, there were almost always a substantially high male to female ratio.

sister13

WestCoastGirl05 said:

MeatandBandP said:

kelley72 said:

ehh whatever I'm sure that when you parent / as you age you will change your mind about things too

Ugh I hate when people pull the 'Well I am a parent and you are not so you couldn't possibly understand' card. I am sure there are some topics in which this is true, but being against gender stereotyping really has nothing to do with being a parent versus not. 

I have to agree with this one! On a semi-different note, I worked with teenagers a lot in my early twenties (earlier than 26) and there was always this fear of mine when it came to bringing up a parenting style, or a reason why their teen was struggling with any idea. Parent's would look at me like "you're not a parent you don't know shit." Ok yes I am not a parent, but when someone is clearly struggling with something, whether it is an identity or anything for that matter - playing the "You don't get it" card - does not make you more intelligent, if anything it makes you more of an idiot for failing to see what those of us without children can see so plainly - end soap box.

My UO: I would almost always rather play any sport with men as opposed to women. Not because I don't think women can play sports, and not because I don't enjoy females company. I have just always been a bit of a tom boy, and any time I play anything with women, (tennis, soccer, any type of martial art I engage in) women are always competing with me (this is not meant to be humble bragging - I hate that). Men though they may compete with one another, are not competing with me. They assume that I'm the girl and I'm going ot do my own thing, which I honestly would take over the alternative. I'm not an inherently competitive person, so when I feel that there are girls out there always trying to be better than me, (again not humble bragging) it takes the fun right out of it. I feel the need to say this is not true in ALL cases. I have met some of my best friends by being invovled in a sporting activity, but, there were almost always a substantially high male to female ratio.

Fuck those damn women competing with you in COMPETITIVE SPORTS!  Men are just the BEST, aren't they?   

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard anyone say.  I will compete with everyone in everything.  

KingLED

14whitney said:

Since this seems to be unpopular with a few apartment complexes I've lived in, I'm sticking it here. the girl that just fell off a chair trying to turn the damn thing off after her husband took a 90 minute hot shower and left for work.

I can't take a 20 minute hot shower without getting dizzy from the heat!

-----------------------------------------

Yeah, I don't do hot showers. That's his thing. I just get to deal with the heat setting off all the damn alarms after he leaves. lol

WestCoastGirl05

14whitney said:

Since this seems to be unpopular with a few apartment complexes I've lived in, I'm sticking it here. the girl that just fell off a chair trying to turn the damn thing off after her husband took a 90 minute hot shower and left for work.

I can't take a 20 minute hot shower without getting dizzy from the heat!

**************************Quote box fail********************************************

Neither can I, espeically because it's been so hot here lately, I almost always have to cool the water down as the shower progresses!

ToryKate

EllyD14 said:

Since this seems to be unpopular with a few apartment complexes I've lived in, I'm sticking it here. Fire alarms that are set off by heat are fucking stupid and should not be used. They're dumb. Or, if they're going to be used, don't put them in places that are regularly really fucking hot! 

**I don't actually know anything about fire alarms other than having a heat detector (that is wired to all the others in an apartment) right outside a bathroom door is asinine. Fuck that nonsense. 

Signed, 

the girl that just fell off a chair trying to turn the damn thing off after her husband took a 90 minute hot shower and left for work.

Elly you are wife of the year in my book! If my H is in there for more than 20 min I am knocking on the door telling him to wrap it up. We did grow up in San Diego, land of the droughts, so I also spaz about turning off the water when brushing your teeth. 

KingLED

sister13 said:

WestCoastGirl05 said:

x

Fuck those damn women competing with you in COMPETITIVE SPORTS!  Men are just the BEST, aren't they?   

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard anyone say.  I will compete with everyone in everything.  

I agree with Sister here. You sound like you enjoy the fact that when you play with guys they don't see you as an equal. How the hell is that a good thing?

WestCoastGirl05

 

My UO: I would almost always rather play any sport with men as opposed to women. Not because I don't think women can play sports, and not because I don't enjoy females company. I have just always been a bit of a tom boy, and any time I play anything with women, (tennis, soccer, any type of martial art I engage in) women are always competing with me (this is not meant to be humble bragging - I hate that). Men though they may compete with one another, are not competing with me. They assume that I'm the girl and I'm going ot do my own thing, which I honestly would take over the alternative. I'm not an inherently competitive person, so when I feel that there are girls out there always trying to be better than me, (again not humble bragging) it takes the fun right out of it. I feel the need to say this is not true in ALL cases. I have met some of my best friends by being invovled in a sporting activity, but, there were almost always a substantially high male to female ratio.

Fuck those damn women competing with you in COMPETITIVE SPORTS!  Men are just the BEST, aren't they?   

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard anyone say.  I will compete with everyone in everything.  

****snip*********

Haha I know it sounds crazy, and I probably didn't word it properly, but I don't play anything, or do anything I do to compete with anyone, I don't play or participate in any competitions, everything I do is for fun. I am only out there to get better, or to have a good time. But it makes sense to you because you are a competitive person, and that's fine, honestly sometimes I wish I was, it would certainly help lighten me up. It's just not my personality to be super competitive.

WestCoastGirl05

EllyD14 said:

sister13 said:

WestCoastGirl05 said:

x

Fuck those damn women competing with you in COMPETITIVE SPORTS!  Men are just the BEST, aren't they?   

That is one of the weirdest things I have ever heard anyone say.  I will compete with everyone in everything.  

I agree with Sister here. You sound like you enjoy the fact that when you play with guys they don't see you as an equal. How the hell is that a good thing?

Ah OK I see what you're saying. That was not my intention. It's not that I don't think I'm good, or that I don't think the guys think I'm good at anything,  or that I don't care to have their respect at least as an athlete. I just mean it's different, it's not the same.

Ok I'll give an example, my husband and I do martial arts. We practice, spar, all that stuff together, with the same group of people. When I spar against another guy it has always felt that his intention in sparring with me is to help me get better, and that I am there to help him get better, not "let's see how many times I can hit her in the face", When I spar with other women, the feeling I get (most times not all times) is that they are only there to be better than me, and is very much a "let me see how many times I can hit her in the face." That is all I meant, but you ladies were right in thinking that it's not healthy or good to just go along with a bunch of guys who don't see you as equals. I didn't explain that very well - my bad. Words are hard today guise...

WestCoastGirl05

also (because I TB won't let me edit) @excited2see - Board games are a whole different ball game!!! I will be the biggest pain in the ass when playing monopoly. I was just intoroduced to Settlers of Catan this past weekend - I may have found a new favorite!!

CocoMcGee

slappalicious said:

CocoMcGee said:

UO: I hate terms that are specifically used to disparage women. Bitch is the perfect example. Especially since there are no terms that specifically disparage men.

And I also hate that I still use that word. I really want to drop it from my vocabulary. But that's my own issue not an UO.

What about bastard or dick?

I guess dick, but bastard is more about the guy's mom than him. It's the son of an unwed woman.

 

KingLED

slappalicious said:

90 minute shower?  Someone likes to waste water.  If he needs to spend 90 minutes in water, why doesn't he just take a bath...?

He does. It drives me crazy. He takes baths sometimes, but he still like showers. I can't really defend him because I think it's fucking stupid. Even more so now that there's the heat detector issue. 

CocoMcGee

14whitney said:

I have never thought "let me see how many times I can hit her in the face" while sparring.

Same.