Chit Chat

Advice - Visitation and Illness N1DR

edited July 2014 in Chit Chat

I just wanted a few opinions and wasn't sure who to ask since I don't like posting my boyfriend's and my personal business in places like Facebook.

My boyfriend has four children with his ex wife. We have them every other weekend. Yesterday, she contacted us to say the kids have come down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. It is highly contagious and the CDC recommends that you stay home when you have it (you are contagious for a week) and also states that in some cases it can result and hospitalization and even death. To add to this, my son is a micropreemie who was born at 24 weeks and obviously has a compromised immune system.

We asked to switch and take his kids next weekend - At first she agreed but then she said no. She said we don't have to take them this weekend but she is refusing to let us have them next weekend. Are we being unreasonable by not wanting to take the children when they have something like this? I understand that both parents should take care of the kids when they are sick and we do take them regardless and we normally do, but this isn't just any illness.

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Re: Advice - Visitation and Illness N1DR

  • Oh boy! I didn't see the description of the boards, just the name and I thought this was a place to post random stuff. I can find somewhere else to there a way to delete this entire thread? I'm sorry!
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    [Deleted User]
  • Thank you, ladies!

    I can understand not switching up the schedule for next weekend, it was just something we requested to make up our time with the kiddos.

    My boyfriend and his ex are currently going through the court system regarding the kids and she was attempting to guilt him into taking them by saying "I understand if you don't want to take them this weekend but it won't look good for you in court if you don't." I've done quite a bit of research and found that in the case of illness it's the non-placement parent's decision if they want to take the children, but I think that comment from her got to him.

    As far as his thoughts on it, I asked him if he's not taking them because of me and my son and he said that wasn't it - He doesn't want the illness to spread so even if he was single he wouldn't want to take them this weekend.

    It's a tough situation! I don't have any drama with my son's father so this is all new to me. Thanks for the advice :)

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  • They are going through court right now, there's a temporary order stating every other weekend for right now.

    I don't really have a relationship with the mom at this point. Sometimes I do pick-ups/drop-offs and we're cordial but we don't talk.

    Long story short, they've been married 11 years and were separated for a total of about 6 of those years (separating, getting back together, even filing for divorce one other time then getting back together) - Well, they were separated for about a year before he and I got together (living apart) but she blames the fact that he met me for them not being together. It's a bit of a mess to say the least.

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  • I'm agreeing with all above. Not unreasonable at all to ask to not take them but I wouldn't expect to get them the next weekend either. Can their dad just meet them for dinner one night or take them to a movie instead of coming and staying at your house all weekend???


    P.S. The correct answer to best member of 1D is clearly Zayn, although I am married to him I don't mind sharing him as eye candy to others.

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    [Deleted User]ShakeyJakey
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