22 Weeks and Horrified….

katiefritzler

So I don't know if I really have a specific question, but I was mostly wondering if anyone else feels not really excited about their baby all of a sudden. 

My pregnancy was a "surprise" pregnancy, not planned in the least. My boyfriend wasn't working when we conceived, and has already gone and lost two jobs since then. He's currently unemployed again. In the first trimester I worked 2 full-time jobs and now I just work one, because I couldn't handle the work load. I often get frustrated that we won't be able to make it. Once I have the baby I won't be working and in Canada we can collect Employment Insurance but it's only like, 50% of your wage working full-time. So me and a baby can't even live off of that, let alone my boyfriend as well. 

I'm getting really scared that I won't be able to provide for my child. We're living at home with his family for now, but I've come to realize this place isn't safe for me, let alone a child (the doors don't lock, random drunk guys come and go as they please…). 

I'm sorry I guess I don't really have a question. I hope people don't hate on me for that. But I'm just really scared and I'm honestly not sure what I should be doing. I'm feeling very alone. And I feel horrible almost every time I feel my baby kick, which is not something I feel like is how a mother should be feeling when her first baby ever is moving around regularly inside of her. 

Lanna2014

I think its natural to feel like that first time. I know my doctors said to not worry about different feelings I had unless it seemed like I was starting to hit depression. Maybe if you talk to your doctor she could help direct you to different sources that could assist you. Sorry I don't have any other advice. Don't over stress though! 

I was working 2 jobs when I first got pregnant but my boss at the one job expected me to be able to do things I just couldn't do because I was so nauseous. My other boss has been fantastic about everything though. My fiance will be getting laid off before the baby is due and then once I take my leave, we'll only have his unemployment for 12 weeks unless he finds a decent job. The job market around here sucks though. I do understand wondering how you'll be able to provide. 

I think once you get some of that stress off your plate, you'll be able to enjoy your baby. If you didn't love her you wouldn't be worried.

katiefritzler

Thanks ladies. This honestly keeps me up at night. I'm worried my high stress is harming the baby because I haven't gained weight for the past month or so either. Anyways. I hope I can get some sort of help. I'm really terrified and I'm glad there's women out there who understand. 

PS- I live in Saskatchewan. 

haliebabyx3

I just want to say I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't live in Canada so I'm unsure how all that goes. You're not alone on feelings. A lot women here, including myself, have that feeling or have had it. I still get it at times. My H and I haven't been married for a full year and now we are expecting. It's a little scary because you know things are going to change. I get the feeling at times that I'm not even ready for this, but deep down I know we will be just fine.

Maybe sit down and talk to your boyfriend about how important it is that he find a job and try and keep it. Do you have any family you can go and stay with? That environment really doesn't sound safe.

aliperrapato

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I can't imagine the stress. The ladies that wrote are right on about your man. Do what is best for YOU and BABY. I do understand your apprehension about baby coming though... My husband and I decided to try for a baby and got off of birth control. We are newly married and I thought it would take awhile to get pregnant, like 6mo-a year. We got pregnant that week! I took  6 tests and cried my eyes out for 3 days. My husband was so confused! I was sort of sad that it happened so fast, I thought I had more time. I don't have the stresses that you do, but stresses seem to find us. Custody battle for my stepson, kidney stones for 3 weeks for me, heart problems with the baby, money issues, possible down syndrome scares, and now the stomach flu. Stresses will happen, time for some problem solving and there is NO doubt you will LOVE that baby when she comes. Good luck to you Hon!

katiefritzler

Thanks everyone I might have found a place for myself by August.. Hoping it all works out. 

colettey_37

Hope you can get out on your own in a healthy place for your baby, and hopefully your boyfriend gets a job and helps you out. There really is no excuse for him not to be working, there are jobs out there, sounds like he needs a kick in the pants. If you can work 2 jobs he can too.. Do whats best for you and baby and take care, hope everything comes together for you! 

marathonmommy82

Also make sure you get set up for child support (not sure of the laws in Canada). Definitely look out for you and baby ! Do you have a support system - friends, family ?

khanley1980

summererobinson

Look into the different programs that you guys have that can help you ( ehre we have a food stamp program and stuff like that) you may be betetr off just doing it on your ownt o be truthful. But its totaly ok to feel scared.