FFFC

Hyaline

watercolor5 said:

kdsmith43 said:

After I delivered Traycen, I looked up on the IV pole and saw a bag of Pitocin. It has still bothered me to this day... why did I get that? His heart rate kept dropping, but no one ever said anything to me. They just kept moving me around, giving me oxygen, etc. I guess I was too excited to ask questions. I am glad they didn't tell me because I would have went in freak out mode, but I just feel like it was weird.  I am assuming that if I had not been dilated to a 6 when I got to the hospital things would have been more urgent. 

But, I also wonder if my water being broken for so long (10 hours) from onset of labor to delivery had anything to do with him spending over a week in the NICU with neonatal pneumonia. I have convinced myself that it was because he had the hiccups while I was pushing him out. Yes, weirdest feeling ever.

No point to this rambling post, this was just my thoughts on the way to work this morning. I guess the FFFC is that it bothers me almost 2 years later.

It's typical to give pitocin after labor to help the uterus contract.  I think it's standard procedure to give it if you have an IV and haven't asked to not receive it, as it can lower the chances of bloodloss in the mother and get your uterus back to normal size faster. 

I always kick myself when I have questions I don't ask my doctor on the spot, cause I never go back later to ask, but I'd stay bothered too (or look it up on webmd.)

ETA: Can't tell from your post if you received the pit during labor or after.  I'd be concerned if they gave it to you during labor without asking you about it, but they do give it really quickly once the baby is out.

I think after birth it's often given as a shot, if you didn't already have an IV of pit going.  So either way--you should have been informed "we're giving you pitocin to increase contractions" or "we're giving you pitocin to help your uterus contract."

In either case, I think you're right to be pissed.  You're not a houseplant--you're a person.  You deserve to know what's being done to care for you.  Honestly, I'm mad for you.  I'm kind of mad at the whole medical system that accepts treating people this way as normal.  Because it is, from what many people tell me from their experiences, normal.  

And UO: Standard practice doesn't mean evidence-based or correct.  It just means standard practice.  So I kinda don't care that L&D nurses say "everyone gets it."  Yeah, everyone used to be put into twilight sleep, too.  And it doesn't matter if it's standard--the patient should be informed and give consent.

Hyaline

Flamingemu said:

BobKat22 said:

I don't think pitocin is the devil. That's always been flameful around here. According to my BFF who does L&D it's pretty much common practice for everyone to get it. At least at every hospital she has worked in.

The night I went into labor with L, I was the only one who didn't get it (my OB told me). I also had major bleeding issues. My uterus could have had some help contracting. I might ask for it next time.

Crazycakes me over here, I asked if we could make the decision when the time came.  I was bleeding heavily, I got a shot of pit.  Weird concept--treat the individual patient and her individual needs.  Insane, I know.

melody921

I kind of want to take the kids to the drive-in tonight even though I know it will probably f- with their sleep patterns for the remainder of the weekend. And, we don't let DD watch TV, yet I'm sitting here pondering a movie. Something is obviously wrong with me.

edited for spelling

BPer

LoisLayn23 said:

shiggybop said:

I don't think pitocin is the devil. That's always been flameful around here. According to my BFF who does L&D it's pretty much common practice for everyone to get it. At least at every hospital she has worked in.

I don't have any issue with pitocin, but I would have an issue if I didn't know I was receiving it. I had a great birth experience with Anthony after an induction with pit. Turned pretty high for a few hours, but I have also never dreamed of an Unmedicated birth.

Pit PP is much different than pit during labor, IMO.

This. I remember the nurse telling me that they were starting me on another bag if pitocin right after I delivered, and I was terrified it was going to be the same pain that came along with having it during labor.  She said that I would just feel cramping, which turned out to be true.

I was on pit for the next 24 hours after delivery because my ute was not cooperating.

tinyhumantoe

I ate a whole box of stovetop stuffing yesterday.

I am getting ready to eat my lunch.  I have 1pm appointments and about an hour of work to do before they get here.  So eat at 11, get ready from 12-1, right?  Sounds good.

AKB090609

melody921 said:

I kind of want to take the kids to the drive-in tonight even though I know it will probably f- with their sleep patterns for the remainder of the weekend. And, we don't let DD watch TV, yet I'm sitting her pondering a movie. Something is obviously wrong with me.

I want to take DD to a bunch of the 'movies in the park' this summer, DD doesn't have the attention span, but it's outside so I will probably do it anyway.

watercolor5

I agree that you should be informed of what is being done to care for you, and give consent whenever possible in regards to what's going into you.  I also think medical staff should make an effort to explain the reasons why they're suggesting XYZ. 

But I also agree that pitocin during labor to increase contraction strength or induce labor is completely different than PP pitocin which is used to help you not bleed like crazy.  I personally would never refuse a post-partum pitocin shot. 

I also know that I only grasped about a third of the things my L&D staff said they were doing right after delivery.  I don't know if I even remember delivering the placenta.  I get so distracted by the new baby in the room and what they're doing to her, that what they did to me went by the wayside.

AKB090609

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

tinyhumantoe

AKB090609 said:

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

You crazay! 

What on earth could they judge you for?

Hyaline

watercolor5 said:

I agree that you should be informed of what is being done to care for you, and give consent whenever possible in regards to what's going into you.  I also think medical staff should make an effort to explain the reasons why they're suggesting XYZ. 

But I also agree that pitocin during labor to increase contraction strength or induce labor is completely different than PP pitocin which is used to help you not bleed like crazy.  I personally would never refuse a post-partum pitocin shot. 

I also know that I only grasped about a third of the things my L&D staff said they were doing right after delivery.  I don't know if I even remember delivering the placenta.  I get so distracted by the new baby in the room and what they're doing to her, that what they did to me went by the wayside.

This is why I think discussing this with your OB or MW before you're actually at the hospital is so important.  Had I waited until I was in active labor to start asking for explanations, I doubt I would have gotten or understood them.  If you have reservations, that's the time to talk it out--not in the thick of delivery and post-delivery.

tinyhumantoe

I'm definitely in the minority here, but they can do whatever to me after delivery. 

If I'm already well educated on a specific procedure and would like special consideration, I would discuss it with the doctor beforehand and appoint an advocate that didn't just have a baby (like DH).  If I'm not, just do the normal medical care that the team of doctors has decided as their standard.  Whatever has been keeping people alive and healthy, yo.

Cheenomae

tinyhumantoe said:

I'm definitely in the minority here, but they can do whatever to me after delivery. 

If I'm already well educated on a specific procedure and would like special consideration, I would discuss it with the doctor beforehand and appoint an advocate that didn't just have a baby (like DH).  If I'm not, just do the normal medical care that the team of doctors has decided as their standard.  Whatever has been keeping people alive and healthy, yo.

This is me 100%.

tinyhumantoe

I think it's nice to rely on the expertise of a medical professional for routine things.  Sometimes I'm too tired to ask questions.

BPer

AKB090609 said:

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

What about drive thrus/restaurants?

I go to Panera at LEAST 3x a week right now.  I have the same woman in the drive thru 95% of the time.  She gave me a loyalty card to activate because I'm "there every day", and I have been too lazy to activate it.

I feel like she judges me for this.

I had a strawberry smoothie for breakfast, and ordered a strawberry granola parfait to store in the fridge for lunch.

...I already ate it.

tinyhumantoe

I'm eating some mediterranean veggies that stunk up my house last night.  I didn't microwave it, and the only other person on my floor is a few offices down.  Is this still a no-no?  Haha

BPer

LoisLayn23 said:

Yeah but freebies with bonus cards. DO IT.

I know...I tell myself that I already have too many cards in my wallet.

...really I am just lazy.  I don't even know where I put the damn thing.

tinyhumantoe

W went to grandma's last night. 

I freaked out about her door being open when we came upstairs, tiptoed around getting ready for bed, freaked out when I dropped something loud, and made DH turn the tv down a bit.  DH just looked at me weird during all of it.  This morning I freaked out because he turned music on really loud, and that my friends is when I realized that my kid was not home.

MississippiCatfish

watercolor5 said:

I agree that you should be informed of what is being done to care for you, and give consent whenever possible in regards to what's going into you.  I also think medical staff should make an effort to explain the reasons why they're suggesting XYZ. 

But I also agree that pitocin during labor to increase contraction strength or induce labor is completely different than PP pitocin which is used to help you not bleed like crazy.  I personally would never refuse a post-partum pitocin shot. 

I also know that I only grasped about a third of the things my L&D staff said they were doing right after delivery.  I don't know if I even remember delivering the placenta.  I get so distracted by the new baby in the room and what they're doing to her, that what they did to me went by the wayside.

But not everybody wants to know, and some people actually get really irritated.  I give a minimum, "The doctor would like me to give you X because of Y, and you may feel Z.  Do you have any questions or concerns?"  Especially if someone is in a lot of pain or distress (ie. a lot of women in labor).  

I agree with several others that pit is different during or post-labor, but I also don't want take a med that's possibly going to cause extra cramping if I don't need it, ya know?  Why not see how it goes?

And I SUPER agree with @hyaline's statement about standard practice vs evidence-based.  Although I'd like to believe that all medical professionals strive toward EBP, it's just not going to happen everywhere all the time.

tinyhumantoe

I hate making decisions, for anything.  So maybe that's why I'm cool with my IV tree being full of random shit :-p

kdsmith43

I also cut small things for T.

Hyaline said:

watercolor5 said:

kdsmith43 said:

After I delivered Traycen, I looked up on the IV pole and saw a bag of Pitocin. It has still bothered me to this day... why did I get that? His heart rate kept dropping, but no one ever said anything to me. They just kept moving me around, giving me oxygen, etc. I guess I was too excited to ask questions. I am glad they didn't tell me because I would have went in freak out mode, but I just feel like it was weird.  I am assuming that if I had not been dilated to a 6 when I got to the hospital things would have been more urgent. 

But, I also wonder if my water being broken for so long (10 hours) from onset of labor to delivery had anything to do with him spending over a week in the NICU with neonatal pneumonia. I have convinced myself that it was because he had the hiccups while I was pushing him out. Yes, weirdest feeling ever.

No point to this rambling post, this was just my thoughts on the way to work this morning. I guess the FFFC is that it bothers me almost 2 years later.

It's typical to give pitocin after labor to help the uterus contract.  I think it's standard procedure to give it if you have an IV and haven't asked to not receive it, as it can lower the chances of bloodloss in the mother and get your uterus back to normal size faster. 

I always kick myself when I have questions I don't ask my doctor on the spot, cause I never go back later to ask, but I'd stay bothered too (or look it up on webmd.)

ETA: Can't tell from your post if you received the pit during labor or after.  I'd be concerned if they gave it to you during labor without asking you about it, but they do give it really quickly once the baby is out.

I think after birth it's often given as a shot, if you didn't already have an IV of pit going.  So either way--you should have been informed "we're giving you pitocin to increase contractions" or "we're giving you pitocin to help your uterus contract."

In either case, I think you're right to be pissed.  You're not a houseplant--you're a person.  You deserve to know what's being done to care for you.  Honestly, I'm mad for you.  I'm kind of mad at the whole medical system that accepts treating people this way as normal.  Because it is, from what many people tell me from their experiences, normal.  

And UO: Standard practice doesn't mean evidence-based or correct.  It just means standard practice.  So I kinda don't care that L&D nurses say "everyone gets it."  Yeah, everyone used to be put into twilight sleep, too.  And it doesn't matter if it's standard--the patient should be informed and give consent.

I've been dying to use #whathyaline said. This exactly... I dont necessarily care that I had it - I just wished that I had known my baby was in distress. What if, God forbid, something would have gone terribly wrong. Would they have waited until delivering the child to be like "oh, well you were actually having trouble during delivery but we were trying to do all we could to save the baby before we informed you of all that".

Give me all the pitocin or whatever I need to keep me and my child safe, but my main concern is that there was lack in communication between L&D and the nursery/NICU that caused my child's 8 day stay and a lot of anxiety and struggles for me as a new mom.

Hyaline

DH and I were talking about what we want to do for our anniversary this year, and this became a conversation about how we had planned to take trips for every five-year anniversary.  He'd still like to do this for our ten year in a couple years, but I'm irrationally pissed that a couples trip is unlikely to happen because we have no one willing to watch our kid.

I guess my FFFC is that even though I believe grandparents don't owe their kids babysitting or help or favors like watching their grandkid for a long weekend so mom and dad can get away, I'm disappointed and a little mad that my parents refuse to do so.  In that respect, I got the short end of the grandparent stick, and the frustration I feel about that makes me feel really guilty.

BPer

I have an addiction to Jolly Rancher freeze pops.

I eat between 5-10 a night, and I order them in bulk from Amazon, in cases of 125.

Monday night, I ordered 2 cases, plus some Snapple sorbet freeze pops, and at H's request, some "warhead xtreme sour" freeze pops.

I thought about bringing some in to store in the freezer in my office, but I thought better of it, knowing how pissed I would be if someone helped themselves, thinking they were to share because I had 50 in there.

Give me all the popsicles.

MississippiCatfish

LoisLayn23 said:

Isn't pit or cytotec post delivery to prevent hemorrhaging evidence based though?

Not everyone is going to hemorrhage, though.  To me it's like skipping the GBS test and giving everyone antibiotics, just as a preventative.  Not necessary.  

And usually when the medical profession starts routinely doing things that are unnecessary (just my opinion, not EB), we find out later that the good didn't outweigh the bad.

MississippiCatfish

I'm going natural with this birth (ya know, if things go smoothly, yada yada, keep baby safe), but a lot of natural birthers really irritate me.  If my epidurals had worked and I hadn't had an awful birth experience with Ed, I'd be 100% on board with an epidural again.  No question.  I guess my confession is that I feel like a poser in the natural birth community.

MississippiCatfish

LoisLayn23 said:

MississippiCatfish said:

LoisLayn23 said:

Isn't pit or cytotec post delivery to prevent hemorrhaging evidence based though?

Not everyone is going to hemorrhage, though.  To me it's like skipping the GBS test and giving everyone antibiotics, just as a preventative.  Not necessary.  

And usually when the medical profession starts routinely doing things that are unnecessary (just my opinion, not EB), we find out later that the good didn't outweigh the bad.

Not the same. There's no "hemorrhage test".

Uhhh, you don't think your doctor can see if you're bleeding excessively?

Pokedot

DS is spending the night at my parents house. I'm so freaking excited. We haven't been on an actual date since December. I always said (before DS) we'd still go out and do things. Make time for just "us." I've come the realization we're not nor will we probably ever be like that again and it makes me sad. Is that a FFFC?

BeebopandBuddy

AKB090609 said:

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

It's unusual if I go to Target less than 4 times in one week.

AKB090609

tinyhumantoe said:

AKB090609 said:

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

You crazay! 

What on earth could they judge you for?

The donuts... Always the donuts.

melody921

Hyaline said:

DH and I were talking about what we want to do for our anniversary this year, and this became a conversation about how we had planned to take trips for every five-year anniversary.  He'd still like to do this for our ten year in a couple years, but I'm irrationally pissed that a couples trip is unlikely to happen because we have no one willing to watch our kid.

I guess my FFFC is that even though I believe grandparents don't owe their kids babysitting or help or favors like watching their grandkid for a long weekend so mom and dad can get away, I'm disappointed and a little mad that my parents refuse to do so.  In that respect, I got the short end of the grandparent stick, and the frustration I feel about that makes me feel really guilty.

Why won't they do it?

melody921

MississippiCatfish said:

I'm going natural with this birth (ya know, if things go smoothly, yada yada, keep baby safe), but a lot of natural birthers really irritate me.  If my epidurals had worked and I hadn't had an awful birth experience with Ed, I'd be 100% on board with an epidural again.  No question.  I guess my confession is that I feel like a poser in the natural birth community.

I was a natural birth by accident sort for DD. As I was saying, "Yeah, an epidural sounds like a great idea, thanks!" the nurse was saying, "Ohhhh, you're already at 10, no drugs for you."

Hyaline

melody921 said:

Hyaline said:

DH and I were talking about what we want to do for our anniversary this year, and this became a conversation about how we had planned to take trips for every five-year anniversary.  He'd still like to do this for our ten year in a couple years, but I'm irrationally pissed that a couples trip is unlikely to happen because we have no one willing to watch our kid.

I guess my FFFC is that even though I believe grandparents don't owe their kids babysitting or help or favors like watching their grandkid for a long weekend so mom and dad can get away, I'm disappointed and a little mad that my parents refuse to do so.  In that respect, I got the short end of the grandparent stick, and the frustration I feel about that makes me feel really guilty.

Why won't they do it?

Honestly, they're really not kid people. They love DD, but they aren't super-comfortable caring for children. And I don't think they got much help, so they have this outlook of "we did our part raising you, it's your turn now."

thebanich

I have no idea how we are going to get through this summer financially. None. DH is working at a camp but he isn't sure if they are going to pay him at the end of every session or just at the end of the summer.

This is not stopping me from taking the kids to a baseball game tonight where we will end up buying beer/food and spending money we don't have.

I really hate summer.

Flamingemu

MississippiCatfish said:

LoisLayn23 said:

MississippiCatfish said:

LoisLayn23 said:

Isn't pit or cytotec post delivery to prevent hemorrhaging evidence based though?

Not everyone is going to hemorrhage, though.  To me it's like skipping the GBS test and giving everyone antibiotics, just as a preventative.  Not necessary.  

And usually when the medical profession starts routinely doing things that are unnecessary (just my opinion, not EB), we find out later that the good didn't outweigh the bad.

Not the same. There's no "hemorrhage test".

Uhhh, you don't think your doctor can see if you're bleeding excessively?

I wasn't bleeding profusely until I was already home.

melody921

This pretty much sums up my motivation today:

BPer

MississippiCatfish said:

LoisLayn23 said:

MississippiCatfish said:

LoisLayn23 said:

Isn't pit or cytotec post delivery to prevent hemorrhaging evidence based though?

Not everyone is going to hemorrhage, though.  To me it's like skipping the GBS test and giving everyone antibiotics, just as a preventative.  Not necessary.  

And usually when the medical profession starts routinely doing things that are unnecessary (just my opinion, not EB), we find out later that the good didn't outweigh the bad.

Not the same. There's no "hemorrhage test".

Uhhh, you don't think your doctor can see if you're bleeding excessively?

My OB pressed on my belly and said "whoa that's a lot of blood."

This is the hemorrhage test.

thebanich

I have no idea if I was given Pitocin with either birth. I was bleeding a lot after DD but I think that had more to do with the tearing than anything.

This conversation is just making me think of the nurses "massaging" my abdomen. Fucking ouch.

melody921

Hyaline said:

melody921 said:

Hyaline said:

DH and I were talking about what we want to do for our anniversary this year, and this became a conversation about how we had planned to take trips for every five-year anniversary.  He'd still like to do this for our ten year in a couple years, but I'm irrationally pissed that a couples trip is unlikely to happen because we have no one willing to watch our kid.

I guess my FFFC is that even though I believe grandparents don't owe their kids babysitting or help or favors like watching their grandkid for a long weekend so mom and dad can get away, I'm disappointed and a little mad that my parents refuse to do so.  In that respect, I got the short end of the grandparent stick, and the frustration I feel about that makes me feel really guilty.

Why won't they do it?

Honestly, they're really not kid people. They love DD, but they aren't super-comfortable caring for children. And I don't think they got much help, so they have this outlook of "we did our part raising you, it's your turn now."

That sucks. My parents didn't get help, but I think my mom went the other way with it and now offers to help when she can. And my ILs, who are local, are always clamoring to babysit.

melody921

I bought the kids a pool at Target last week. I fully intend to park my ass in it with them this weekend.

AKB090609

BPer said:

AKB090609 said:

I won't go to the same store twice in one week for fear of being judged. I forgot to pickup an item at target yesterday, I won't go back to the one near my house to get it I'll go to one 15min away.

What about drive thrus/restaurants?

I go to Panera at LEAST 3x a week right now.  I have the same woman in the drive thru 95% of the time.  She gave me a loyalty card to activate because I'm "there every day", and I have been too lazy to activate it.

I feel like she judges me for this.

I had a strawberry smoothie for breakfast, and ordered a strawberry granola parfait to store in the fridge for lunch.

...I already ate it.

If the Panera near me had a drive thru it would be totally different, and I probably would have gained more than the 18 lbs I have this pregnancy. As it is my closest target is the only one that doesn't have a Starbucks inside (or a drive thru nearby). That's why we go to. The splash pad all the time, I can go to the Starbucks drive thru as a 'reward' for being a good mom on my way home.

BPer

Banich4eva said:

I have no idea if I was given Pitocin with either birth. I was bleeding a lot after DD but I think that had more to do with the tearing than anything.

This conversation is just making me think of the nurses "massaging" my abdomen. Fucking ouch.

Oh yes, the uterine massage.

Such a deceptive name.