Why is this board so mean?

crackityjones

Mainly for the articles and the terrifying videos of labor. But I saw the thread and thought, "What the hell? Might as well step in a pile of dumb drama at 8:00 am on a Thursday morning..." 

lynnz52

Unfortunately it is true, for the wedding boards and I’m learning now for baby boards too. I either think people hide behind their computer and say things they would never say to your face, or people (not-all, just some) are really just insensitive know-it-alls. .

Knowing this now... I post on boards to get that raw, blunt information. The things your mother doesn’t want to tell you.

When I want someone to comfort me, I talk to my mother and my husband.

24karat

crackityjones said:

This is my first post on the bump, but having many, many times googled questions I had over the course of ttc, I learned not to click on any results from the bump, because inevitably it would go something like this:

1. OP asks question.

2. Someone yells at OP for not following protocol.

3. Someone else calls OP's question stupid.

4. If OP responds or complains, she is called a stupid baby who can't handle the truth

5. OP's question (and mine) never get answered.

Don't mistake sarcasm and snark for just being a mean person. I can tear someone apart with a few words, but I don't because it's a crappy thing to do. Sure, some of the other boards can get a little nauseating with all the baby dust and glitter, but at least there's some level of human kindness involved. It feels like high school in here.

(Cue all the comments telling me to get out if I don't like it)

Thing is, the "stupid question" threads that go down how you described are in the minority. If you took the time to participate and read multiple threads, you'd quickly see that this is the case. Is there snark? Sure. Does it get carried away? Sometimes. But again, those threads are in the minority and it's also often preceded by the OP overreacting, using the forums as google, wishing infertility on others, or calling people names.

I stick with TB is because the info/advice here is scientifically sound. Most of the other boards put feelings on a higher pedestal than accuracy, so a lot of false information is put out there to spare someone a hard truth. That, IMO, is much more cruel than sarcasm. Knowledge and kindness are not mutually exclusive, and the vast majority of people here use both.

krisanit8

I have found the occasional sarcastic/know it all kinda comment..But for the most part there are a lot of supportive people! I couldn't agree more than sometimes people come across a certain way..But it is just best to ignore the few sarcastic comments, and embrace the supportive people who get the "newbie" questions! Enjoy pregnancy  

baby+drumm

cutiepie0104

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

24karat

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

Maybe because BTDT moms have a wealth of experience to share that FTMs don't? Some FTMs are willing to ask for and hear it then become active members of the community. Others leave and go to blind-lead-blind-I-read-it-on-the-interwebz-it-must-be-true sites instead.

Some are here simply because they can be. And there's also an entertainment factor thanks to the high level of drama you can find daily on the tri boards.

WashingtonQueen

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

A) Because I can.
Because I know answers to a lot of questions since I've BTDT a couple times.
C) Because there are posts like this that make me laugh.

TurtleMonsters

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

Reminiscing...boredom...please don't call TB forum police because I'm in a restricted area that has nothing to do with my current state of pregnancy.

momthatlifts

symphony4586 said:

RedheadBaker said:

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

You'd prefer to have the blind lead the blind?

Honestly I think it would be great entertainment to see all the vets step away from this board for a few days and see and the newbs waver between freaking each other out and shooting rainbows up each other's butts. Maybe they wouldn't get so whiny about being told the truth after that.

That would just make it worse

golfingdarwinfish

kyliedaniellexx said:

RIP WCIBN, death by chicken nugget. Join me in a moment of silence for our fallen comrade...

/silence/

... Does that mean there are chicken nuggets?

PrimRoseMama

morriskm1000 said:

Thanks ladies for proving my point. At least we now know who you are

You don't know my lyfe!

crackityjones said:

This is my first post on the bump, but having many, many times googled questions I had over the course of ttc, I learned not to click on any results from the bump, because inevitably it would go something like this:

1. OP asks question.

2. Someone yells at OP for not following protocol.

3. Someone else calls OP's question stupid.

4. If OP responds or complains, she is called a stupid baby who can't handle the truth

5. OP's question (and mine) never get answered.

Don't mistake sarcasm and snark for just being a mean person. I can tear someone apart with a few words, but I don't because it's a crappy thing to do. Sure, some of the other boards can get a little nauseating with all the baby dust and glitter, but at least there's some level of human kindness involved. It feels like high school in here.

(Cue all the comments telling me to get out if I don't like it)

---

@morriskm1000‌ : clearly you can't trust google to showcase the best of the bump. I have seen outpourings of love, support, & many touching moments for posters on the bump.

Through miscarriages, infant loss, parental death & other hardships. I can tell you with no snark (but tons of judgment not gonna lie) that you have no earthly clue what you are blathering about.

PrimRoseMama

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

@cutiepie0104‌ : I've been through pregnancy many times. I feel as if my knowledge is helpful. I also love the entertainment, arm-flailing, butthurt & pure crazy that happens on the trimester boards. Threads like these are fun to read when my kid is teething & velcro'd to my boobs for hours at a time.

PrimRoseMama

@staceom‌ : nothing in this thread was bullying. I suggest intense therapy if anything on a public message board is causing you such intense emotional distress that you can't cope to participate. :-??

normandyn7

cutiepie0104 said:

We are all going to disagree I get that but, I dont understand why people are squatting on these boards? Just curious if you're not Pregnant and in your first trimester why are you on this particular board? Like I said Just curious. 

Because....