shower issues (kinda long sorry)

AnonnAni

8-|

jlbeanza

Honestly, I had my shower at 36 weeks last time, and people gave me tons of clothes in the wrong seasons. Many people just buy what's cute and don't think about practicality, and that's okay, because it's a gift, and the thought that counts. Plus, if people buy you 6-9 months stuff that's summery, that's actually perfect. I don't know, to echo what a lot of people are saying, when really doesn't matter. Was I thrilled to have mine when there was a chance I was going to have a c-section a week later? Nope. However, it was the time that allowed the most people I care about to be there, and that was the most important thing. That didn't end up being the case, so it all worked out, but even if it was, I would have gone ahead with it and not complained.

Try to take a deep breath, don't stress about timing, and enjoy the gift that is your shower!

AnonnAni

@Darbie914 lol I totally tried to avoid that whole bolded like WTF you threw your own baby shower!!!! Who does that lol. What do you write on that invitation? "Hey I'm throwing a party for you to buy me stuff" ?? lol , why not just buy your stuff with the money you spent on throwing your own shower. lol Stop it I cant.

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Csltdk

Haha I was hoping bliss would catch that

Meery82

Smalldl said:

Honestly, I'd just be happy that someone would throw me a baby shower to begin with, without me doing all the planning and set up and paying for it. Which I did do with my first. As for clothes, that's an easy thing to exchange, the date even better if its early rather then later, what if you planned it for when you were 8 months and oops baby decides to come early? Earlier means you can go through the stuff and exchange duplicates and finalize what you don't need and what you still do.

Buy your own shit.

perfectlove09

Oooooook people. Those of you that are saying "you shouldn't expect gifts" or "the registry is a list of things for YOU to buy but available to hand out IF a shower guest wants to buy a gift" need to rethink the point of the shower. It's to "shower" the new mother/baby with gifts. That is the purpose of the shower. It's also welcoming the woman into motherhood but traditionally that's included GIFTS. It's to help the mother prepare for her new baby with items she is going to need. "Need" will be different from every mother to every guest but the point is to do this. No you shouldn't try to dictate what people are going to get you but to say that at your shower you shouldn't "expect" gifts is ludicrous.

This goes for 1st time moms. Though it's been shown in history older than our own that for a second baby a mother might be thrown a sprinkling.

I don't think there is any thing wrong with the hostess asking the guest of honor for a time/theme/place/guest count that they are comfortable with. That's just called common courtesy. I've thrown dozens of baby showers, bridal showers, bachelorette parties etc and you can bet your ass that I asked what the guest of honor would be comfortable with in regards to timing and what not. Unless it's a full on surprise party and you know your guest of honors schedule I don't think anyone has the right to assume they can do what ever the hell they want when they want to do it. Yes it's still a gift and an honor to receive theses parties in your honor but there has to be a little consideration on everyone's part.

That being said and stepping off my soap box...OP....it's only a couple weeks difference. There will still be clothes suitable for your child. It doesn't matter what you register for people will buy other things and you'll get multiple of them. Returns and exchanges after your shower are 100% normal.

If your biggest concern is a couple weeks difference and it will make your grandma happy to be there then go with it.

perfectlove09

perfectlove09 said:

Oooooook people. Those of you that are saying "you shouldn't expect gifts" or "the registry is a list of things for YOU to buy but available to hand out IF a shower guest wants to buy a gift" need to rethink the point of the shower. It's to "shower" the new mother/baby with gifts. That is the purpose of the shower. It's also welcoming the woman into motherhood but traditionally that's included GIFTS. It's to help the mother prepare for her new baby with items she is going to need. "Need" will be different from every mother to every guest but the point is to do this. No you shouldn't try to dictate what people are going to get you but to say that at your shower you shouldn't "expect" gifts is ludicrous.

This goes for 1st time moms. Though it's been shown in history older than our own that for a second baby a mother might be thrown a sprinkling.

I don't think there is any thing wrong with the hostess asking the guest of honor for a time/theme/place/guest count that they are comfortable with. That's just called common courtesy. I've thrown dozens of baby showers, bridal showers, bachelorette parties etc and you can bet your ass that I asked what the guest of honor would be comfortable with in regards to timing and what not. Unless it's a full on surprise party and you know your guest of honors schedule I don't think anyone has the right to assume they can do what ever the hell they want when they want to do it. Yes it's still a gift and an honor to receive theses parties in your honor but there has to be a little consideration on everyone's part.

That being said and stepping off my soap box...OP....it's only a couple weeks difference. There will still be clothes suitable for your child. It doesn't matter what you register for people will buy other things and you'll get multiple of them. Returns and exchanges after your shower are 100% normal.

If your biggest concern is a couple weeks difference and it will make your grandma happy to be there then go with it.

Oh..and don't throw your own shower people

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perfectlove09

Bliss+Berry said:

@perfectlove09‌ I don't think anyone said that the MTB shouldn't expect gifts, just that you shouldn't try to dictate what you get or expect everyone to stick to your registry, or that shower guests provide all the necessities.

Oh...I must have misunderstood. But let this be a lesson from here on out!

I'm totally kidding. I've had a migraine coming on all day and it's making me freaking cranky. And I'm working 50 miles from home and not off for another 1hour and a half and I'm afraid someone will have to come get me if it gets much worse.

Sorry if I was preaching to no one

Smalldl

I ended up paying for the food and the decorations because my friend who planned it ended up losing her job. She needed the money more then I did at the time. She hosted it at her house and had sent out the invites already. As for this time around. I have a 5 year gap between my last and this one. I don't have anything. I have also moved part of being a navy wife. I have been to plenty of baby showers for people who have already had one. It's not a sense of entitlement, I could care less who paid for it. I care more about hanging out with my friends and celebrating the welcoming of a new addition.

lionyloo32

Darbie914 said:

Smalldl said:

I ended up paying for the food and the decorations because my friend who planned it ended up losing her job. She needed the money more then I did at the time. She hosted it at her house and had sent out the invites already. As for this time around. I have a 5 year gap between my last and this one. I don't have anything. I have also moved part of being a navy wife. I have been to plenty of baby showers for people who have already had one. It's not a sense of entitlement, I could care less who paid for it. I care more about hanging out with my friends and celebrating the welcoming of a new addition.

You not having anything doesn't warrant another shower.  It's not up to everyone to give you what you need because you decided to reproduce/move/give things away.  Do you know how greedy and entitled it sounds to be all, "Hey, I know you gave me gifts the first time around but I gave most of them away.   Now that I'm knocked up again, I need more stuff.  So, I'm having another party to get everything I can get out of the already generous and thoughtful people who gave gifts the first time."  That is horribly tacky.

Age gap has nothing to do with it.  Having a child of the opposite sex doesn't matter.  You decided to have a child, you provide for it.  No one's fault you didn't plan better and it's not up to others to provide for your child.  

If you want to celebrate and be with friends, then just do it.  It doesn't have to be centered around the baby.  People will and can give gifts without a party taking place.  Trust.

Eh, I think you're being a bit harsh. Seriously. Many ladies on here have agreed that a shower for a second child, years after the 1st is NBD. 

lionyloo32

chayshay1408 said:

Darbie914 said:

chayshay1408 said:

Darbie914 said:

lionyloo32 said:

Darbie914 said:

Smalldl said:

I ended up paying for the food and the decorations because my friend who planned it ended up losing her job. She needed the money more then I did at the time. She hosted it at her house and had sent out the invites already. As for this time around. I have a 5 year gap between my last and this one. I don't have anything. I have also moved part of being a navy wife. I have been to plenty of baby showers for people who have already had one. It's not a sense of entitlement, I could care less who paid for it. I care more about hanging out with my friends and celebrating the welcoming of a new addition.

You not having anything doesn't warrant another shower.  It's not up to everyone to give you what you need because you decided to reproduce/move/give things away.  Do you know how greedy and entitled it sounds to be all, "Hey, I know you gave me gifts the first time around but I gave most of them away.   Now that I'm knocked up again, I need more stuff.  So, I'm having another party to get everything I can get out of the already generous and thoughtful people who gave gifts the first time."  That is horribly tacky.

Age gap has nothing to do with it.  Having a child of the opposite sex doesn't matter.  You decided to have a child, you provide for it.  No one's fault you didn't plan better and it's not up to others to provide for your child.  

If you want to celebrate and be with friends, then just do it.  It doesn't have to be centered around the baby.  People will and can give gifts without a party taking place.  Trust.

Eh, I think you're being a bit harsh. Seriously. Many ladies on here have agreed that a shower for a second child, years after the 1st is NBD. 

Oh, so it's totes okay then.  

It is my 2nd baby and I am having a shower thrown for me. I was told it was mandatory by my F&F because it has been 6 yrs and it is mine and my DHs first together. I didn't expect it. It is all about the attitude you have, don't sit there and expect every single person to make sure you are stocked and ready for baby. I will make a registry, be thankful for anything anyone provides for me and then buy my own shit second hand that I still need. 

Can't blame people for having the kind of people in their life that want to celebrate another baby. 

It has zero to do with the kind of people you have in your life.  I have amazing people in my life that love me and care about me.  But that doesn't mean they are going to throw me showers for every child I have.  

Your situation is different because it's your husband's first.  That is a different scenario altogether. 

Oh, and you're an adult.  No one can 'force' you to do anything.  

You're taking everything too seriously, no they cannot force me to do it. But hell, I am getting a party?! Who'd say no to that!? The fact is that there is nothing wrong with a second shower as long as you are not sitting here going 'i need one, i need another because I can't buy my own shit'. 

If someone is throwing you another shower, rock on. If not, that's okay too. 

I also forgot what the OPs original post was actually about. lol 

\:D/

I'm 100% with you on this one @Chayshay1408

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