Visitors at the hospital

JamieBui

I was thinking about not having any visitors but family come to the hospital after our baby is born. I'm concerned that when I tell our friends that it may come across as rude to ask them to wait until we are home from the hospital to visit with us and the baby. What do you guys think?

DaniGrace89

I think it's perfectly fine. I'm a FTM but I imagine the whole experience will be overwhelming....I want to bond with my child, and my husband. I also want to be free to nurse and sleep, with non-family around it may be hard to do that.

golfingdarwinfish

How is it rude to not want visitors when you're in the hospital?  There are a million rude actions/gestures, and that is certainly not one of them.

I've never assumed a friend wants visitors at the hospital.  When offering congratulations I say we would love to see the happy family whenever they are settled and feel ready for visitors.  I don't find it to be rude if it takes a few weeks or a month or two to meet the baby - it's 100% up to the parents, and their decision is not rude.

MollyC20

I think it's fine!

The first time around for me I had like 20 family members in our room passing DD around (we have a large, close family) after she was born -- and that was a mistake. I remember sitting in the bed after labyrinth for 13 hrs and pushing for 2 thinking "get these people out of here I'm exhausted!!!!!"

This time around we're only telling our parents when we go into labor, but NO ONE will be coming up to the hospital until we say so. I want family time and DD to meet her brother before anyone else.

Whatever you decide -- remember it is all about you and baby -- don't try to appease anyone!

HappyCianci

Not rude at all. On the contrary, I think it would be rude for a friend to expect that he/she is welcome at my hospital room at all. I'm sure your friends will be understanding!

cozybluebear

Our son was high risk and the closest high risk hospital was over an hour away from our hometown. Our parents came during the delivery, met him, and left after we were transfered to our postpartum room. The hospital was so far from everyone and the snow was so bad that we had no visitors for the 3 days we were there and it was a great experience. We were able to spend those days in our little suite as a family. It was an amazing bonding experience for my husband and I and baby. I'm hoping it goes the same way with this baby. I wouldn't have had it any other way. When we got home, we had non stop visitors for weeks.

MrMrsandBaby

I didn't have any non-family visitors when I was in the hospital.  It didn't even occur to me that people do that since it is such a short stay!  I did go visit my friend after her baby but her stay was a little extended for various reasons.  And I called first...I think if people just show up you can have the nurses just tell them no.

MuffinMom14

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

Justabean3

I puke the whole first day. I already told DH, no visitors this time except for a quick one from his parents, my mom and best friend.

It was awful having all of them in there to watch me throw up... And the trying to feed between throwing up just added to stress

Nothing wrong I'm saying we will accept visitors after we get home or what YOUR time frame is.

JamieBui

I think it's understandable from a FTM view point but most of our friends are under the age of 25 (Ill only be 23 when I give birth) and have no kids. Those are the people I feel will be offended the most because they don't understand. Anyone in there early 20s have an opinion?

golfingdarwinfish

JamieBui said:

I think it's understandable from a FTM view point but most of our friends are under the age of 25 (Ill only be 23 when I give birth) and have no kids. Those are the people I feel will be offended the most because they don't understand. Anyone in there early 20s have an opinion?

Then explain it to them.  Send an e-mail to the people you are worried will be offended and explain the situation and that you would rather little one meet them when you are comfortably resting at home.  

Justabean3

I'm not early 20's but from what I have seen people who would get offended over this with no kids, don't stay friends long or become very distant. So personally I don't think it matters.

Especially FTM changes a lot of friendships and starts new chapters of life.

golfingdarwinfish

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

Justabean3

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

--------

Ask to password your room. I didn't even know this existed until my friend had twins

MuffinMom14

Justabean3 said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

-------- Ask to password your room. I didn't even know this existed until my friend had twins

I'm going to guess that is not a thing here. Literally, you get off the elevator and start wandering around the rooms, peeking in. Anyone can just come and go as they please. I really do think my best shot is just closing the door and putting a sign on it.

MuffinMom14

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

To be fair, I'm pretty sure she knew we were coming (three of us from work went), and we told her it would be around lunch time. I really don't remember, but I can't IMAGINE we just decided without telling her. 

But it's still the same, no nurses went to ask her if it was ok or anything. We just walked right in. 

Justabean3

Oh ya here you have to be buzzed in or go to the nurses station.

Although that may just be labor and delivery and not post partum

golfingdarwinfish

SPurp13 said:

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

To be fair, I'm pretty sure she knew we were coming (three of us from work went), and we told her it would be around lunch time. I really don't remember, but I can't IMAGINE we just decided without telling her. 

But it's still the same, no nurses went to ask her if it was ok or anything. We just walked right in. 

That's entirely different than just randomly showing up at the hospital.  The way it read above, and in the context of this conversation, was that you just chose to show up and were shown her room by a nurse.  Obviously my comment about rudeness does not apply if your friend knew you were coming and was amenable to the visit.

" I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same."

So in that comment are you inferring that the friends will ask you first, or will just show up?  If you think they will just show up you may want to save them the trip and make a blanket announcement on facebook or email people that would show up and let them know that visiting will take place at your home and not the hospital.

persephonerose

I find it kind of crazy that there are hospitals that do not have a post partum area on lock down. I did not even know that exist!

Here L&D and post partum both have doors you have to be buzzed into. Further more all the babies have alarms on their legs and if they pass certain doors it sets off a hospital wide alert. Even the nurses for the PP rooms have special tags that are color coded so if you see a nurse without that tag you are supposed to push your call button for help.

Justabean3

I was almost positive you had to be buzzed in but I was on my whole pp stay in a l&d room because too many people delivered the same day.

I'm in Texas and I'm pretty sure most US hospitals are lockdown

MuffinMom14

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

To be fair, I'm pretty sure she knew we were coming (three of us from work went), and we told her it would be around lunch time. I really don't remember, but I can't IMAGINE we just decided without telling her. 

But it's still the same, no nurses went to ask her if it was ok or anything. We just walked right in. 

That's entirely different than just randomly showing up at the hospital.  The way it read above, and in the context of this conversation, was that you just chose to show up and were shown her room by a nurse.  Obviously my comment about rudeness does not apply if your friend knew you were coming and was amenable to the visit.

" I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same."

So in that comment are you inferring that the friends will ask you first, or will just show up?  If you think they will just show up you may want to save them the trip and make a blanket announcement on facebook or email people that would show up and let them know that visiting will take place at your home and not the hospital.

'm a planner by nature anyway. I don't go to ANYONE's house before telling them. If I did just go without telling her, I would deserve to be called rude. I do remember the last baby she had was about a year ago, and I was going to be in town the day she came home from the hospital, and I kept saing over and over "are you sure it's ok, are you sure," so that one is more fresh in my mind than her first baby.

I meant that they'll just ask the nurse where I'm at and come right on in, rather than having a nurse check to see if I'm like, dressed and ok for visitors. BUT, I DO think I have people who will just come and NOT tell me first, now that I'm thinking about it.

I WANT to not even tell people we're at the hospital, but my mom won't keep her mouth shut. So, yeah, I do think a blanket statement might be necessary.

I'm also hoping no one is offended if they ask to come over when I'm at home and I say "sorry, but so-and-so will already be here, will Thursday work instead?" I don't need 40 people in my house at the same time. I am not certain I'll want anyone at all, but if I do, I definitely just want like 2-3 people at a time at my house.

Emerald27

I'm not really planning to tell anyone that I'm in labor or that baby has arrived (except the grands) until we're home. To me, the short hospital stay is tiring and a time for bonding and getting to know baby. I don't really want anyone stopping in while I'm figuring out breastfeeding the new LO and wearing a hospital gown, feeling tired or just out of sorts.

Visit me at home and bring me dinner. Lol

vrj0522

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

One of my SILs just had a baby and when she sent out the announcement by phone, she included that the family wanted to wait a day before having any visitors. I don't think she included that bit in her FB announcement but she very well could have. I'm guessing she just knew that the people who would want to come see them would be those she was texting initially. I think it's perfectly okay to do something like that and simply say that you would like to wait until you are home and settled in before receiving any visitors. That way even if you got anyone unannounced, the turnout would be minimal. 

JJsMum

We aren't announcing anything until LO is here and we've had a chance to bond/recover.  The only people who will know will be my mom, who is watching our boys, and DH's parents who live in a different country.  So no one is going to just 'expect to come visit.'  The only people who will be invited to come to the hospital will be my mom and my boys.  Everyone else can wait until we get settled in at home.  

Those hospital rooms are not that big, there isn't that much seating, and quite honestly, while I'm there I'm nursing, praying that pooping won't make me cry, and remembering how nasty meuconium(sp?) is!  I'm not really ready for anyone to visit until after I've had a shower at home and a night's sleep in my own bed.  This is what we did for our first 2, and I plan on continuing that pattern.  It took an awful lot of stress off of me.  All we've had to do is let our nurses know our preferences and they'll do the rest.  

What we've done before is after the 1st week our close friends and family come by individually/small family groups.  At around the 3-4 week mark we do an open house/potluck 'meet the baby' gathering.  This is when we welcome our larger circle of friends to come by and visit.  It's also usually when we start getting into what will become our normal routine.

erinchrisitne424

@JamieBul I didn't allow visitor with DS1 I am considering the same thing this time around. There were a couple very close friends I allowed to stop in, but they had to get my room number from me personally. A lot of hospitals will list you as a code name that tells the people at the desk to not give out your status or room number. That made life so much easier in avoiding unwanted guests. I don't think it is rude, it is a huge time of transition for you and your significant other. Having visitors at home on your own time is very nice because you aren't cramped into a tiny room with lots of people, rather you can have a couple visitors at a time in the space of your home.

angeltennis3

We also aren't telling anyone that we are in labor, except parents. We are asking them to keep it quiet.

We have already told both parents that we will let them know when I go into labor, if anything significantly changes (ex if I have to have a c-section) and when they are welcome to visit. We have already told them expect to have to wait a few hours after baby comes because we want to bond as a family first before passing around our baby girl.

We also told them expect to get kicked out and not to hang around for hours. If I want rest, meet with the lactation consultant, need to learn to feed our baby girl, then the only people allowed are medical professionals and DH.

We will probably text a few friends once LO is here, but as a pp said, we will ask them to just visit once we are back at home. With a vaginal delivery we only get 24 hours post partum in the hospital which is just a short amount of time. We will wait to put anything on social media until after we are settled at home.

I think if anyone finds our plan rude...well that's just ridiculous! Every new mom, no matter what number child this is, has a right to some privacy during and after labor. If any of our friends or family is offended by this, I really don't care because they are the ones being ridiculous, not us!

Lindzoid

My hospital stays usually consist of 24 hours (post birth) if that so I don't think this is an issue in my case. However I don't think it is rude at all for you to ask them to visit once your home and settled in. Keep in mind you may say this now and then change your mind.

LightBright515

I don't want anybody to visit me until i'm home and in some sort of routine. I'm totally against even alerting people i'm in labor, but SO has a lot of feels on this since his family usually sets up camp in the waiting room. 

AmandaJean12

This is one of the reasons I love being in a big city vs the small town I grew up in. I just haven't told people besides those closest to me which hospital we are delivering at. There are too many choices to guess.

Are you touring your facility? If ask about do not disturb signs and keeping guests out. No ftm learning to nurse, etc. should have people just poking their head in.

IrishHoney123

I've never had an issue with friends not being sensitive to my visiting wishes. Our parents get a call that baby has arrived safely and they can visit during visiting hours the next day. DH and I enjoy the bonding time during those first precious hours. Friends and extended family are notified when we get home.

I also work in a hospital, and my coworkers have been awesome the past 2 deliveries with a quick call to check on me. They have been very respectful of privacy. 

The hospitals here all require visitors (coworkers too) to buzz in. I wouldn't want to deliver somewhere where people can just come up and wander around looking in rooms...

BeanNut

I think you should choose whatever you are most comfortable with. You can tell your friends you'll let them know as soon as you feel well enough to enjoy visitors.

Saragoeswest

SPurp13 said:

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

VCGolfNYC said:

SPurp13 said:

Honestly, I feel the same, but I don't know how I can stop them.

I walked right in, asked where my friend was, and the nurse showed me her room. I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same. I can't close the door and put a note on it. 

I know it's super nice, and people just want to see that tiny baby, but Imma feel like shit. I don't like people around when I feel like shit. I wish it was just me and the husband the entire time at the hospital. 

IMO, unless a friend tells people there is an open invitation to visit in the hospital, just showing up is rude.  I can't imagine doing that to any of my friends, even the ones I have known since I was little.

If you or DH are on FB, perhaps with the public FB announcement you can note that the family is resting at the hospital and will welcome visitors upon discharge.   

To be fair, I'm pretty sure she knew we were coming (three of us from work went), and we told her it would be around lunch time. I really don't remember, but I can't IMAGINE we just decided without telling her. 

But it's still the same, no nurses went to ask her if it was ok or anything. We just walked right in. 

That's entirely different than just randomly showing up at the hospital.  The way it read above, and in the context of this conversation, was that you just chose to show up and were shown her room by a nurse.  Obviously my comment about rudeness does not apply if your friend knew you were coming and was amenable to the visit.

" I mean, if people want to visit me, they will do the same."

So in that comment are you inferring that the friends will ask you first, or will just show up?  If you think they will just show up you may want to save them the trip and make a blanket announcement on facebook or email people that would show up and let them know that visiting will take place at your home and not the hospital.

'm a planner by nature anyway. I don't go to ANYONE's house before telling them. If I did just go without telling her, I would deserve to be called rude. I do remember the last baby she had was about a year ago, and I was going to be in town the day she came home from the hospital, and I kept saing over and over "are you sure it's ok, are you sure," so that one is more fresh in my mind than her first baby.

I meant that they'll just ask the nurse where I'm at and come right on in, rather than having a nurse check to see if I'm like, dressed and ok for visitors. BUT, I DO think I have people who will just come and NOT tell me first, now that I'm thinking about it.

I WANT to not even tell people we're at the hospital, but my mom won't keep her mouth shut. So, yeah, I do think a blanket statement might be necessary.

I'm also hoping no one is offended if they ask to come over when I'm at home and I say "sorry, but so-and-so will already be here, will Thursday work instead?" I don't need 40 people in my house at the same time. I am not certain I'll want anyone at all, but if I do, I definitely just want like 2-3 people at a time at my house.

------------------
I think it's legit for you to be a little wary of too much attention at inopportune times, but I feel like all this worrying is premature and not helpful to you. You could make your expectations known to your mom and friends, keep your labor on the DL, and set clear boundaries like PPs have said. And then just try to go with the flow. It'll work out. And maybe try to convince yourself that it's possible you won't feel like crap It's so mental.

miriamm08

I'm a FTM and this was one of my concerns as well. DH and I talked about it and we decided only to tell our parents when we go into the hospital and to wait until we go home after the baby is born to tell everyone else. We honestly just don't want to have to worry about people unexpectedly showing up at the hospital because it is a time we want just for us. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Do what makes you feel comfortable.

yella726

I can't imagine just showing up unannounced to even my best friend's bedside after she just finished labor. I know everyone is really excited to see a new baby, but I think the mother's (and baby's) wellbeing/rest certainly comes first. And if she's not up for visitors, then I think that should be respected.

That said, we live about 6 hours from both sets of parents and family, and, seeing how there's no way to predict the due date, they'll be awaiting a phone call! It'll just be DH and the doula with me, and I feel good about not having a huge group of visitors waiting to come to the hospital!

Sockgnome78

When I was in the hospital for a urgent I had a few uninvited visitors come in.
When I deliver I am going to make an announcement by phone and fb and ask that visitors be limited at the hospital. I have called and told people I was coming when they delivered. I did not feel right going in unannounced. Funny thing is DH is on the other side of the fence when I comes to visiting people in the hospital.
I have already told him the rules of labor and delivery..He is to be the only one in the room.
After words I think it will be played by ear. I am hoping people will call before showing up.

ariel06

Honestly, I preferred to have people visit at the hospital and not at home.  People tended to keep their visits shorter at the hospital and were respectful of our needs for privacy to breastfeed and work with doctors.

I have had friends decided no visitors, or limit visitors and I would never take offense to whatever parents choose.  

My first two kids were horrible sleepers and I never knew when they/me would get any sleep, so having visitors at home really stressed me out.  

That said, I may restrict visitors depending on what illnesses are going around.  

ss265

I am a fairly private person and with my first, I think I mentioned to my friends ahead of time that I would prefer not to have visitors at the hospital. I did send an announcement via text when the baby arrived and a couple of people texted back and asked if they could visit. I had a C-section and was in the hospital for 3 days and surprisingly felt up for visitors (I was actually a little bored and welcomed visitors) and said "yes" but they knew to text and ask, instead of simply showing up. Some close friends came over when the baby was 3 months old but other than family, we didn't have visitors at the house.

We also didn't have anyone at the hospital when I was in labor. Family knew I was in labor but we told them ahead of time that we didn't want them there while I was in labor. My Mom was staying with us when I went into labor and we left her at the house when we went to the hospital. She tends to panic easily and we just wanted a calm environment.

SusieBW

This time around, I only want our parents and DH's aunt to be able to visit, no one else, not even other family.  It was overwhelming last time.  And DH's aunt is an exception because she's a nurse at the hospital where I'm giving birth, otherwise, I'd probably try and rule her out too.

My MIL works in a lab at the hospital next door and she came in a couple of times with three ladies she works with, 2 of whom I had never even met.  It was so uncomfortable and completely ridiculous and rude, but I was pretty drugged from the c/s and DH didn't seem to see the problem with it.  This time, I'm going to make it really clear from the start that I don't want people like that coming to my hospital room.  Another time DH's cousin, his wife, and their two kids came with DH's mom and aunt, and they all just stood around for 45 minutes.  Ugh.  The rooms are just too small for that.  They can come over some day after we're home. 

I think visiting people in the hospital for anything is kind of gross, but maybe that's an UO - I skeeve hospitals and always feel like I'm intruding on someone by visiting them there. 

MuffinMom14

I'm not quoting, because that quote block is HUGE now, but @saragoeswest you are absolutely right. I don't know how I'll feel. Maybe I WILL want visitors! I actually think I would like a few people, just not for LOOOONG periods of time. I want time with just my husband, too.

I have, however, have a VERY overbearing mother. She wants to be in the room with me during labor, because she knows how this works, and she says pregnant ladies don't want husbands in there during labor. No. Just no. We've never been that kind of family, I don't know why she's doing this now, and she's being awful about it.

If I don't call her when I go to the hospital, she will be angry, and I just won't have the energy to deal with it after the baby's here and she starts screaming about why I didn't call her. So, I'll have to call her when I'm on the way to the hospital, but I have told her I don't want her in there. I told her she is fine to come to the hospital, but that's IT. No others.

She will camp out and sleep in the hospital and want to stay in the room 24 hours. She won't just be there for a few hours. That's the thing. And then, if anyone else wants to visit (my husband's HUGE family all in town), that room is going to fill up fast, and if I say I want privacy, it will be a huge issue (with my mom, not H's family).

I kind of hope I have this baby real quick-like in a Taxi.

golfingdarwinfish

SPurp13 said:

I'm not quoting, because that quote block is HUGE now, but @saragoeswest you are absolutely right. I don't know how I'll feel. Maybe I WILL want visitors! I actually think I would like a few people, just not for LOOOONG periods of time. I want time with just my husband, too.

I have, however, have a VERY overbearing mother. She wants to be in the room with me during labor, because she knows how this works, and she says pregnant ladies don't want husbands in there during labor. No. Just no. We've never been that kind of family, I don't know why she's doing this now, and she's being awful about it.

If I don't call her when I go to the hospital, she will be angry, and I just won't have the energy to deal with it after the baby's here and she starts screaming about why I didn't call her. So, I'll have to call her when I'm on the way to the hospital, but I have told her I don't want her in there. I told her she is fine to come to the hospital, but that's IT. No others.

She will camp out and sleep in the hospital and want to stay in the room 24 hours. She won't just be there for a few hours. That's the thing. And then, if anyone else wants to visit (my husband's HUGE family all in town), that room is going to fill up fast, and if I say I want privacy, it will be a huge issue (with my mom, not H's family).

I kind of hope I have this baby real quick-like in a Taxi.

My mother is a bit similar in that she already started crying once imagining herself missing the birth .  DH has sent firm lines in the sand that he's the only one allowed in the room during labor, but she wants to be sitting nervously/anxiously in the waiting room for LO to enter the world.  She's mentioned coming and staying with me for the 2 weeks prior to my EDD (my parents retired to NC and we live in NY).  Not sure how I'm going to handle that one just yet.

MuffinMom14

Oh god, @VCGolfNYC my mom has already told me she's taking FOUR WEEKS OFF when the baby comes.

I THINK I have deflected her a bit. I told her I want to be with my husband for the 2 weeks and change he has in PTO. Then he will work from home 3 days until Thanksgiving or so, then work from home 2 days a week until Christmas. When he's here, there's no real need for her to be here.

I have a very complicated relationship with her, but I still DO want her to have time with this baby when it's very small. I understand that. And I am sure I will appreciate her help so much when my husband does go back to work, but I don't need a house full of people while he's there, you know?

For me, just laying little bread crumbs along the way to prepare her has been working so far. She has time to digest...