NBR Dad and Step-mom issues- vent/advice needed

cafecreme

I apologize right now on how long this story is...and I really don't know where to start off...

My Dad and step-mom have been fighting on and off for 6 months now, at first it was related to his dog (she didn't want him having the dog anymore, so my mom is taking care of it right now), and recently it's been because of finances, communication and distrust. Step-mom hasn't been working for almost a year, and my dad pays all the bills with his mediocre salary. He's the type of guy that doesn't want to worry about finances- so he goes out to movies on the weekends, and enjoys eating out 2-3x a week. He also has a investment house he's been working on that he's been putting a lot of money in, in hopes to either sell, rent, or possibly live there. He's really not a frivolous man- he has a Subaru, lives in a 3 bedroom townhouse with his wife and her son, pays for her car, groceries, and helps my sister out every month with money (she just graduated college, trying to get into graduate school and is atm living with my mom and grandmom). 

My step-mom complains to my dad that he is spending too much, and needs to cut back. He doesn't listen to her, because in his eyes, he's not making crazy purchases. I don't know the situation of her not working- if it's either her part on not wanting to work, or that my dad doesn't want her to work...idk, it's just confusing, but in any case, they are strapped for money every.single.month. 

The distrust part is that my dad on 2 occasions has caught my step-mom inviting neighborhood men into their home (idk if she's naive because shes foreign, or just doesn't know how to say no) But anyway, it's made him believe that she's doing shady stuff (gave out her phone number to a neighbor, and he was calling her, for example). 

Communication is to blame on both their parts- she doesn't quite understand all of our language yet, and doesn't know how to open up verbally, or she'll snap and say something that'll push my dad's buttons, and he'll take it as literally, and then he thinks she means it, and it will put him into a depression or get him really angry. 

Well anyway, the thing that broke the camels back was that my dad found out my step-mom gave their neighbor her cell phone number, and he's been calling it non-stop; to the point where he had to block it. She keeps saying it was nothing, and she thought he "just wanted to talk", and my dad got into a huge fight with her. She threw some of his things outside and told him to leave, so he left, and has been sleeping in his fix-up house for the last 2 days (which has been deemed unlivable!!). My brother offered his spare bedroom, but he's too far from his work. I'm closer- but the only thing I can offer is a couch. or maybe a futon bed in C's room. 

Ugh. I don't know what to do or say, but I know the last few months he's been depressed, and he won't talk to anyone. I feel like I should help, but I have no clue where to start...Or should I just bud out?

cafecreme

Ugh. I feel really stupid right now, I meant my step-mom...I guess theirs no acronym for that. 

cafecreme

Thanks ladies,

I really feel bad for my dad, and how he's pretty much been living in a tent the last few days. Last time he was this extreme, he was contemplating suicide, so I'm just really worried. I don't know exactly where he is right now, or I would go there (he never gave me the address for this fixer-upper house), but I'm going to call him soon and invite him over. Hopefully he'll come around. 

He's told his wife that he wants counseling, and she keeps refusing, so idk what else they can do...