UO Thursday

kmbk27

bmwaters2121 said:

I am so terrible with this UO shit. SO I will just say that I heart HP

Right? I was sitting here thinking, "I guess my UO is that I'm planning on reading the HP series to the baby because there is only so much narrating of my day I can handle." (As far as talking to him once he is here.) Will he comprehend it? Of course not.

At least not the first time.

mrsdanielleM2010

ambershaw512 said:

No, if they wanna read it somewhere else fine but not in my house.

You may think there is a difference between books and pot, and of course there is. But to a child, the message is the same: if Mommy tells me something isn't allowed, I just have to hide it better. Seriously, you are not thinking this through.

brittneyandadam

ambershaw512 said:

@brittneyandadam‌ im capable of seeing the difference between real and fake. I have faith that my kids can too, once they are taught. SIL kid is 6 and he wholeheartedly believes in HP and thinks its real but batman is fake. And he has been told but more than one person its fake. And just because Precious scared the shit out of me the first time I watched has nothing to do with why I won't show the movie to my kids. @kaitlinr87‌ if they watch the movie or read the book somewhere else fine, I've already said this. But its not gonna happen in my house. @bmwaters21‌ you have a good point. I guess when they are at the age that they can understand and school assignments like @brittneyandadam‌ said then that will have to be a serious talk. @CarmAlarm‌ a book is one thing, pot is another. @AccioPizza‌ im not banning all book, DD loves to read and I read to her every single day all day long. I just don't want my kids reading harry potter. When it comes time for them to be school assignments which I've never heard of then we will cross that bridge when it comes. But for now I stand by my opinion that my kids will not be allowed to read or watch HP.

1) Gollum. His name is Gollum.

2) You said it scared you and that was the reason why. "I don't like lord of the rings I think its stupid and it actually scared me the first time I watched it, my children won't be allowed to watch that either."

ashaw512

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

ambershaw512 said:

No, if they wanna read it somewhere else fine but not in my house.

You may think there is a difference between books and pot, and of course there is. But to a child, the message is the same: if Mommy tells me something isn't allowed, I just have to hide it better. Seriously, you are not thinking this through.

I guess not

trebekastan

@MaggieG82 Ask me how I really feel  :-/

brittneyandadam

lstrejcek said:

@MaggieG82 Ask me how I really feel  :-/

This is why I love you. You take away the guess work lol

AccioPizza

@ambershaw512‌ First, kudos to you for answering instead of going off in a huff. I truly mean that. But I honestly don't understand the distinction between HP magic and magic in many, many other children's books. So is it a universe 'no magic in books' or just HP? If so, what's the difference?

I'm not saying you should be forced to read it aloud to her by some kind of mandate, but it boggles my mind that if you 8 year old DD comes home from the school library with one of books she isn't allowed to read it under your roof.

ETA: it is also kind of curious to me that you are kind of playing it off as, oh, it's not that big a deal since they can read it somewhere else. But, if that's the case I don't understand the need for something as serious as banning something from your house.

Have to ask ... Can they read Twilight?!

gingerkid9989

brittneyandadam said:

ambershaw512 said:

@brittneyandadam‌ im capable of seeing the difference between real and fake. I have faith that my kids can too, once they are taught. SIL kid is 6 and he wholeheartedly believes in HP and thinks its real but batman is fake. And he has been told but more than one person its fake. And just because Precious scared the shit out of me the first time I watched has nothing to do with why I won't show the movie to my kids. @kaitlinr87‌ if they watch the movie or read the book somewhere else fine, I've already said this. But its not gonna happen in my house. @bmwaters21‌ you have a good point. I guess when they are at the age that they can understand and school assignments like @brittneyandadam‌ said then that will have to be a serious talk. @CarmAlarm‌ a book is one thing, pot is another. @AccioPizza‌ im not banning all book, DD loves to read and I read to her every single day all day long. I just don't want my kids reading harry potter. When it comes time for them to be school assignments which I've never heard of then we will cross that bridge when it comes. But for now I stand by my opinion that my kids will not be allowed to read or watch HP.

1) Gollum. His name is Gollum.

2) You said it scared you and that was the reason why. "I don't like lord of the rings I think its stupid and it actually scared me the first time I watched it, my children won't be allowed to watch that either."

 

 

 

Stuck in the damn quote box... but here I am sitting here thinking she was talking about the movie Precious with Mariah Carey!!! bahahaha

ashaw512

AccioPizza said:

@ambershaw512‌ First, kudos to you for answering instead of going off in a huff. I truly mean that. But I honestly don't understand the distinction between HP magic and magic in many, many other children's books. So is it a universe 'no magic in books' or just HP? If so, what's the difference?

I'm not saying you should be forced to read it aloud to her by some kind of mandate, but it boggles my mind that if you 8 year old DD comes home from the school library with one of books she isn't allowed to read it under your roof.

If she chose the book herself at that age I would hope she respects me and my opinions enough not to even check it out from the library.

AccioPizza

ambershaw512 said:

AccioPizza said:

@ambershaw512‌ First, kudos to you for answering instead of going off in a huff. I truly mean that. But I honestly don't understand the distinction between HP magic and magic in many, many other children's books. So is it a universe 'no magic in books' or just HP? If so, what's the difference?

I'm not saying you should be forced to read it aloud to her by some kind of mandate, but it boggles my mind that if you 8 year old DD comes home from the school library with one of books she isn't allowed to read it under your roof.

If she chose the book herself at that age I would hope she respects me and my opinions enough not to even check it out from the library.

So it is just HP then? Not a blanket ban on all magic-related books? Why?

brittneyandadam

@gingerkid9989 It honestly took me a second. And thanks to my AWESOME imagination, I pictured something akin to this: 

gingerkid9989

@brittneyandadam‌ that is AMAZING!! ) =D> :x

Pinkmom19

@MaggieG82‌ I hear what you are saying about infants and pierced ears - but I will add this as a Mom of 5 girls: it is much easier to deal with earrings in a smaller child than a big one. My littlest two got theirs pierced at 4 and 2 and they were exponentially easier to deal with because they kept their starters in for 2 years. Older kids want to change them as soon as possible and often with cheap fun earrings. This often makes ear love infections a recurring issue. Also, when they are older, they will be made to tape them or take them out for sports before their ears are ready. Of course all of this is moot if you are anti piercing, but if you aren't and believe they will want to do it eventually, it's just easier. Just my UO.

nilvero

AccioPizza said:

@ambershaw512‌ my only question: are they allowed to read Harry Potter in your house? (When they get old enough to read, obvi) Also, I freaking love HP. I have a secret crush on Hermione as the MN for this baby girl

No, if they wanna read it somewhere else fine but not in my house.

Oh dear. Was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but banning books? That gets me all hot and bothered. Wow. ETA: I don't even especially care about the movies. Like, whatever. But BOOKS? Especially books credited with reigniting many children's interest in reading. Makes me kind of sick actually. Curious as to whether you feel the same about other books that reference magic? Matilda, for example. Though clearly consistency isn't exactly your strong point.

Ack. That upsets me. It is so hard to get kids to read nowadays that to hear people say they will ban certain books breaks my heart. As a teacher, I try and teach them that books make us use our imagination and transport us to other worlds. In fact, I still read Harry Potter on days I'm feeling down because of how well JK Rowling created that world. Let's me get lost for a few hours. 

 
While I believe parents should monitor what their kids read (for instance, last week of school I saw a a third grader reading the last Twilight book) to outright ban them is ridiculous. Parents need to have conversations with their kids. I wasn't allowed to watch The Simpsons, but my mom explained it to me. It was never just a because I said so thing. I think that's why I never attempted to try and watch it behind her back. 

 
And I also ask, is it just HP or just all books about magic in general? Or just books that were created into movies that scare you?

portentosa

The magic of books is something that shouldn't be banned from a child's life. This whole thing is starting to really irritate me, but more so sadden me.

What about these childhood icons?




ETA: I did not even see @AccioPizza's edit that mentioned Matilda until after I posted this. She was one of the first places my mind went to when thinking about books and magic. Great minds.

trebekastan

Pinkmom19 said:

@MaggieG82‌ I hear what you are saying about infants and pierced ears - but I will add this as a Mom of 5 girls: it is much easier to deal with earrings in a smaller child than a big one. My littlest two got theirs pierced at 4 and 2 and they were exponentially easier to deal with because they kept their starters in for 2 years. Older kids want to change them as soon as possible and often with cheap fun earrings. This often makes ear love infections a recurring issue. Also, when they are older, they will be made to tape them or take them out for sports before their ears are ready. Of course all of this is moot if you are anti piercing, but if you aren't and believe they will want to do it eventually, it's just easier. Just my UO.

Here is my flameable opinion: I will not be getting my kids ears pierced at any age, not even if they want it. Why? Because earrings creep me out.

portentosa

lstrejcek said:

Pinkmom19 said:

@MaggieG82‌ I hear what you are saying about infants and pierced ears - but I will add this as a Mom of 5 girls: it is much easier to deal with earrings in a smaller child than a big one. My littlest two got theirs pierced at 4 and 2 and they were exponentially easier to deal with because they kept their starters in for 2 years. Older kids want to change them as soon as possible and often with cheap fun earrings. This often makes ear love infections a recurring issue. Also, when they are older, they will be made to tape them or take them out for sports before their ears are ready. Of course all of this is moot if you are anti piercing, but if you aren't and believe they will want to do it eventually, it's just easier. Just my UO.

Here is my flameable opinion: I will not be getting my kids ears pierced at any age, not even if they want it. Why? Because earrings creep me out.

Not flammable (to me anyway). They can wait and get it done themselves when their older if they want.

.... just be prepared for the possibility of lots of whining about it..... every time you walk by Claire's or something.

brittneyandadam

@ambershaw512 All joking and nit-picking aside, I SINCERELY hope you give your child more credit than you're doing so right now. Like I said before, my parents wouldn't let me watch specific shows at home when I was growing up...and I respected their wishes because they respected me enough to sit me down and explain to me why. Not just, "I don't like it, so no," or "Because I said so." 

I also hope that you will watch your child grow and see the magic within their beautiful imagination...and I hope it inspires you to see that they are more capable than you think they are about making the good decisions for themselves. We obviously can't convince you to see how stubborn or ignorant or blind you are being. And to be honest, I'm going to pick my battles here; people who won't stop to see the other side of things or take the time to properly explain their reasoning like an adult are not worth my time.

Just, please take the time to think about what you're saying and the reasoning behind it. Is banning LOTR and HP in your household going to ruin your child's life? Nah, probably not. But treating your 8 year old like a baby because you don't think they can determine fake from real probably will hurt your relationship and might even stunt his/her emotional growth.

conradraging

I can't even come up with something nice to say so I'm not going to respond to the HP debate. It makes me ill.

However, @lstrejcek‌ you stole my thoughts.

AccioPizza

As long as I know a bunch of HP fans on here ... How crazytown would it actually be to use Hermoine as a middle name? Knowing I'm a fan? Probably a nonissue because I doubt DH will he on board but he's not been outright vetoing when I bring it up so ...

hizah05

@crystalangel79 I completely understand. It's hard for me to explain what I mean as well. I respect what you are doing, as I said, a good friend of mine has the exact same outlook. I just like the idea of my kids getting all excited about Santa and reindeer, etc... Probably because I did as a child. It's not limited to this though. I think the same about characters at Disney World. If they my son wants to believe he's meeting the real Buzz Lightyear or whoever, so be it. I just think it's fun and cute at the right age. But honestly, no flames from me. I get it and respect your faith and message around holidays.  

Rmj1022

JudyBlume14 said:

I love Harry Potter; and enjoyed reading it in High School and into College. I think everyone in the whole wide world should read the books and watch the movies, but agree with timing exposure appropriately because there are some pretty dark themes. I mean, I don't think kids need to wait til high school... sadly, he wonderful world of Harry wasn't around before then for me

My UO (sparked by the 10th conversation on the subject with my husband last night)... it bugs me a bit when people use the term "godparent" to mean "another special grown-up in a child's life;" or they use "godparent" and "legal guardian in case something bad happens to us" interchangeably.

I'm fine with people saying "aunt" and "uncle" when not really related (though I don't think I'll do that with my kids). But I think watering down the term "godparent" can lead to confusion.  A god parent is meant to guide a child in their religious / spiritual / faith journey when the parents no longer can. Why use the term if that's not the role that a person will fill.

My husband's brother and wife will be the legal guardians if something happens to us... but their feelings are hurt that they aren't godparents... even though they don't believe in God. hmm.

TL; DR - have all the fake aunts and uncles you want, but don't mess with the term "godparent"

I think that the term "godparent" not being strictly referred to as a spiritual guide has become more prevalent because our generation is filled with people who grew up with parents that perhaps gave them a godparent but then that person became less religious in adulthood. They then want to carry on the tradition but not to the same effect that their parents might have had in mind. I think there is a huge subset of 20-30 somethings that grew up with a religious background but now only feel tied to the traditions and cultural parts of it.  Billions of people around the world celebrate Christmas because they enjoy the decorations and the presents and their kids excitement on Christmas morning while not necessarily maintaining some or even any religious aspect of the holiday. I think that designating a person as a special adult in your kid's life can be the non-religious equivalent of giving them a spiritual guide and just needs its own universal term.

kmbk27

I think it's incredibly rude when people are in the break areas at work listening to/watching something on their phones or tablets and not using headphones. No one else wants to hear your show, guy.

JustCricket

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

trebekastan

JustCricket said:

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

Also, am I the only one who can draw Christian themes from HP? Someone giving their life to triumph over evil and save a world that he loves, forgiveness, sacrifice in the form of Harry's mom, again, giving her life to protect her son and giving him a protection that would last his whole life...but then again, if you never actually read anything you would say "icky magic books".

mrsdanielleM2010

lstrejcek said:

JustCricket said:

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

Also, am I the only one who can draw Christian themes from HP? Someone giving their life to triumph over evil and save a world that he loves, forgiveness, sacrifice in the form of Harry's mom, again, giving her life to protect her son and giving him a protection that would last his whole life...but then again, if you never actually read anything you would say "icky magic books".

Dude, I tried to get her to see it twice already. I called it redemptive & listed out values and stuff. There's just no logic.

trebekastan

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

lstrejcek said:

JustCricket said:

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

Also, am I the only one who can draw Christian themes from HP? Someone giving their life to triumph over evil and save a world that he loves, forgiveness, sacrifice in the form of Harry's mom, again, giving her life to protect her son and giving him a protection that would last his whole life...but then again, if you never actually read anything you would say "icky magic books".

Dude, I tried to get her to see it twice already. I called it redemptive & listed out values and stuff. There's just no logic.

That was always what pissed me off about my dad. He never read any of them, but because Moody Bible radio told him it was bad, he forbid it. At the same time he was fine with LOTR, vampires, horror movies. I never got it, still don't. 

JustCricket

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

lstrejcek said:

JustCricket said:

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

Also, am I the only one who can draw Christian themes from HP? Someone giving their life to triumph over evil and save a world that he loves, forgiveness, sacrifice in the form of Harry's mom, again, giving her life to protect her son and giving him a protection that would last his whole life...but then again, if you never actually read anything you would say "icky magic books".

Dude, I tried to get her to see it twice already. I called it redemptive & listed out values and stuff. There's just no logic.

I guess the themes have to be clearly spelled out like they are in Narnia... (which btw tolkein gave lewis gave criticism about, he liked weaving his Christian themes deeper a bit deeper) dont get me wrong, I love CofN... but they're def geared towards the people who want thier Christian allusions right there on the surface

ashaw512

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

lstrejcek said:

JustCricket said:

Ok my internet is in and out while driving/riding through bfe. But I think it's weird to be okay with CS Lewis and his fantasy world but not even give Tolkien a chance. ESPECIALLY considering their friendship and that Tolkein helped convert Lewis to Christianity.

Also, am I the only one who can draw Christian themes from HP? Someone giving their life to triumph over evil and save a world that he loves, forgiveness, sacrifice in the form of Harry's mom, again, giving her life to protect her son and giving him a protection that would last his whole life...but then again, if you never actually read anything you would say "icky magic books".

Dude, I tried to get her to see it twice already. I called it redemptive & listed out values and stuff. There's just no logic.

No, I agreed with you.

LTMama

This HP/banning debate has been interesting to read.  For the record, I wish the HP books were around when I was a kid, because they're fabulous fantasy and are just the kind of thing I would have loved to read (I still enjoyed them as an adult and own the set in hardcover bcs it's awesome).  LOTR as well.  I do recall trying to read it when I was too young and finding it scary, but I think it's up to parents to assess their kids' maturity level in helping them pick books.  My parents, despite being INCREDIBLY overprotective and never letting us watch most TV shows that were popular among kids (I've never seen an episode of 90210!), never censored what we read.  Not sure why that was... But I never confused fantasy/adventure stories (my favorite type and the only thing I read as a kid) with reality or my religious beliefs.

I think banning books is a bad practice.  It just makes them seem more appealing.  Plus, I think before you ban a book, you need to read it to decide if there's something in it that you find objectionable.  In high school, a good friend of mine told me he wanted to convert to Satanism (totally wrong terminology usage here, I'm sure), and wanted me to debate it with him.  So I got a copy of the "Satanist's Bible" (what he called it, I can't remember what it was actually called) and dutifully read the whole thing so I could discuss/debate the merits (or lack thereof) with him.  I think THAT'S what you do if you really believe something is flawed or objectionable - learn more about it so you can debate it intelligently, and actually be standing on solid ground with your arguments.

TL;DR, you shouldn't ban books if they offend you, you should read and understand them so you can make educated points about what offends you.

LTMama

My UO (not directed at any of the earring comments here) - whenever I hear someone getting fired up about how horrible it is to pierce a baby's ears and/or calling it trashy (I've seen that a lot on TB), my mind immediately goes to race.  Baby ear piercing is common in the African-American, Hispanic, and Middle Eastern communities (and others I'm sure) in the US, but not as much among non minorities.  So when I hear terms like "trashy" bandied about, I get pissed off, because you're referring to a practice that's popular within certain ethnic communities and not others.

I got my daughter's ears pierced at 3 months after her pediatrician okayed it.  She cried for about 5 seconds, then was over it, and it was so easy to care for them because she wasn't reaching for her ears yet.  Mine were pierced at an even younger age, as were the ears of every baby girl in my extended family.  I think it's awesome.  And now that DD is 3, she loves that she and mama wear the same earrings.

nilvero

crystalangel79 said:

kmbk27 said:

I think it's incredibly rude when people are in the break areas at work listening to/watching something on their phones or tablets and not using headphones. No one else wants to hear your show, guy.

This drives me crazy in restaurants too... unless it is like a Denny's or fast food place or loud family place. I did not come for a nice meal out with my husband so I could listen to some kid's My Little Pony show. I just don't understand why kids 10 years ago could sit at a table without a tv show going or playing an electronic game but today's kids can't. Do kids really not have the ability to sit and play with toys, color or not be electronically entertained for 45 minutes? I understand some kids have melt downs and crying/fussiness happens. I actually don't mind that because I understand... but parents should deal with it and push through it to train kids. Don't just zap them with electronics. It also drives me crazy when I see teenagers at the dinner table with earbuds in their ears. JOIN the human race people. Talk, look at each other... unplug for a bit. 

While I think it is sad for kids not to be able to sit without electronics at a Denny's or a loud family restaurant, I don't find that so disturbing to my experience because of the locale I am in. However, I actually consider it rude if I am at a nicer restaurant like an Olive Garden and I have to listen to a tv show at the table next to me. I once went to a nice steakhouse in the mountains and had to listen to Strawberry Shortcake because a multi-family party gave all the kids ipads and iphones to play with/watch whatever they want. I'm all for the fact that kids make noise and have trouble sitting still but don't like that so many parents zombie them out with electronics at every turn. 

OMG this. Everyone looks at me crazy and tells me oh just wait when you have your own, when I say I won't be using the iPhone or iPad to distract my kid. My parents took both my brother and I out to eat many times and taught us how to behave. Drives me bonkers!

ashaw512

steelersgirl83 said:

AccioPizza said:

@ambershaw512‌ snip

Have to ask ... Can they read Twilight?!

Awesome question about Twilight. I mean cause it's perfectly acceptable to let your daughter read about a whiny teen in an unhealthy relationship, but not allowing them to read the awesome world that JKR created about good vs evil. FTR I did like Twilight, read them many times, but it isn't the best story about love or good relationships. Definitely not trying to start a debate about those books. Just thought you brought up a good point.

I've never read twilight, I didn't like the first one but I did like new moon. Which are the only ones I've seen. I don't think its appropriate for someone under 15 based on the movies, and I think all the vampire, zombies, and warewolf shit is overrated.

I guess with all this HP talk I'll have to read them both. So I'll let y'all know what I think after I read them.

mrsdanielleM2010

@ambershaw512 after you read the Harry Potter series, come back and we can have an amazing discussion of them - for real.  I bet lots of people from across the bump would participate in Harry Potter book discussions. 

After all the books, if you still want to ban them & you have real reasons, I'll maybe let it go... but I just don't see it going that way.

bainidhedub

jasminerebecca said:

UO: I hate when people repeatedly ask me if I'm ok/doing ok. I'm an adult I'll let you know if I need something or am getting to sick to continue with the activity. Asking me every twenty minutes is just going to make me lie and say no just so I can go home and have some peace. Its ok to ask once but drop it and believe made when I give you an answer.

Ugh, yes. Every time I see someone, we go through this ridiculous bit:

Them: How are you?
Me: Good!
Them: How are you doing?
Me: ...Good?

bainidhedub

Not to rez this thread (all the way from page 2!) but I just came across something relevant to the Harry Potter conversation. C.S. Lewis on the value of fantasy over 'realistic' children's stories. I think it expresses what a lot of us loved, and still do, about HP, LOTR and other stories of magic.
(And if any of y'all are Tumblr'ers, yes, that is in fact the blog of fabulous YA fantasy author Diane Duane.)