The ?long? goodbye

newfmom7

I'm so sad for you. It has been a long journey for you, hopefully you find some peace in this decision. ((HUGS))

Campow83

Lost for words:( just sending you many many hugs!

Denise91980

I am so sorry. Huge ((hugs)) to you! We are all here if you need us.

gscoville

I'm so very sorry, please take all the ((((hugs)))) I can offer and know you are in my thoughts!!

kate6214

(((Hugs))) I'm sorry that that this is the end of the road.

Tablefor5

All I have is ((((HUGS)))) for you.

ngolimento

((hugs))  I'm so so so sorry.

rubysi

I am so sorry.

littlecookie

I'm so so sorry. Sending you every single hug I can scrounge up. 

kr_ry

So many hugs going out to you.

beckynsean11

Kati, I'm so sorry to read this. I've been following your journey since I started lurking on 3t & I'm so, so very sorry to see it end this way. Sending hugs to you.

meredithcarole

I am so very sorry. ((Hugs))

Alicia_R1

((Hugs)) I am so sorry

LaRomana09

I'm so very sorry.  Sending you so many ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

LizBlue

Oh kati, I'm so sorry to read this. You have always been one step ahead of me in this process and I have treasured your valuable advice. I'm sending lots of hugs and love and peace to you and your H. I am always here for you with an ear or a shoulder should you need one. Thinking of you. ((Hugs))

BABY5395

I'm so sorry. So heartbreaking. (((HUGS)))

QuigleyCat1

I am so sorry, sweetheart.  I wish things would've turned out differently for you and your husband.  Have you ever spoken of adoption?  I only ask because maybe that's what he wants to talk about.  It would be so nice to still see you around here, but it is completely understandable if you're unable to be here.  My husband and I are most likely at the end of our TTCAL journey, but I still find myself here most days.  It's hard to not be a part of such an incredible group of women that you've grown to love.  Either way you're always welcome and supported, and if it's too hard, well....then I wish you only the very best.  I want to thank you for all the support you have shown me in my time here.  It means the world to me, and you'll always be in my thoughts for joy and happiness, whatever it me be.  Love and many, many hugs to you, sweetheart. >:D<

PinkCamino

So many hugs. I'm so so sorry.

graceanne927

I'm so sorry.  ((((hugs))))

NoeliaV

I am so so sorry and send you so many ((( hugs )))

alm288

I'm so sad to read this. I wish I could say or do something to make the situation better. You and YH are in my thoughts. Sending lots of ((((hugs))))

BackstreetPixie

I'm so sorry to read this. ::Hugs:: and :  

labgrand2012

I am so sorry, sending you lots of ((hugs)).

katib77

QuigleyCat1 said:

I am so sorry, sweetheart.  I wish things would've turned out differently for you and your husband.  Have you ever spoken of adoption?  I only ask because maybe that's what he wants to talk about.  It would be so nice to still see you around here, but it is completely understandable if you're unable to be here.  My husband and I are most likely at the end of our TTCAL journey, but I still find myself here most days.  It's hard to not be a part of such an incredible group of women that you've grown to love.  Either way you're always welcome and supported, and if it's too hard, well....then I wish you only the very best.  I want to thank you for all the support you have shown me in my time here.  It means the world to me, and you'll always be in my thoughts for joy and happiness, whatever it me be.  Love and many, many hugs to you, sweetheart. >:D<

Thanks @QuigleyCat1 (and everyone) for your kind words.  As for adoption- we had talked about adoption before, but I had said with the money we had, I wanted to try for bio children.  We don't have another 10-20K for that (even with his company's adoption partial reimbursement) and sadly, even if we found that sort of money I still lean towards bio children and IVF again.  

If I had a crystal ball years ago that had said "It's all going to fail", I might have had the strength to do it, but not now.  But I have a friend from TB that moved on to adoption and it's been almost two years since she put the 10K down with her agency and she's not gotten her forever child.  Her contract is up next month and they don't have another 10K to extend it another two years.  I know another couple who got told four times they were chosen - only for the first three birth moms to change their minds.  

I don't think after five years of IF and TTC that I could take either being told we got our child, only days later for someone to say "nope, never mind the birth mom is keeping it."  or the heartbreak of waiting for two years for placement for none to come.  I just don't have it in me.  

We didn't have the conversation as he had a over 24 hour migraine (grief hits him differently than I)...but in the small conversations here and there it seems what he meant from "Where we go from here" is just thinking about what life looks like now - - buying and fixing up the house we have an offer on.  Possible vacations in the next year or two.  Just life.  What life looks like now.  

QuigleyCat1

katib77 said:

QuigleyCat1 said:

I am so sorry, sweetheart.  I wish things would've turned out differently for you and your husband.  Have you ever spoken of adoption?  I only ask because maybe that's what he wants to talk about.  It would be so nice to still see you around here, but it is completely understandable if you're unable to be here.  My husband and I are most likely at the end of our TTCAL journey, but I still find myself here most days.  It's hard to not be a part of such an incredible group of women that you've grown to love.  Either way you're always welcome and supported, and if it's too hard, well....then I wish you only the very best.  I want to thank you for all the support you have shown me in my time here.  It means the world to me, and you'll always be in my thoughts for joy and happiness, whatever it me be.  Love and many, many hugs to you, sweetheart. >:D<

Thanks @QuigleyCat1 (and everyone) for your kind words.  As for adoption- we had talked about adoption before, but I had said with the money we had, I wanted to try for bio children.  We don't have another 10-20K for that (even with his company's adoption partial reimbursement) and sadly, even if we found that sort of money I still lean towards bio children and IVF again.  

If I had a crystal ball years ago that had said "It's all going to fail", I might have had the strength to do it, but not now.  But I have a friend from TB that moved on to adoption and it's been almost two years since she put the 10K down with her agency and she's not gotten her forever child.  Her contract is up next month and they don't have another 10K to extend it another two years.  I know another couple who got told four times they were chosen - only for the first three birth moms to change their minds.  

I don't think after five years of IF and TTC that I could take either being told we got our child, only days later for someone to say "nope, never mind the birth mom is keeping it."  or the heartbreak of waiting for two years for placement for none to come.  I just don't have it in me.  

We didn't have the conversation as he had a over 24 hour migraine (grief hits him differently than I)...but in the small conversations here and there it seems what he meant from "Where we go from here" is just thinking about what life looks like now - - buying and fixing up the house we have an offer on.  Possible vacations in the next year or two.  Just life.  What life looks like now.  

@katib77 I understand what you mean about the adoption process.  Many people have asked me if we would consider it.  I'd like to think that if we were younger (we're 37 now) and had the finances that we would've considered it.  At this point in our lives, it's just not in the cards.  I, too, wish we had a crystal ball.   Unfortunately, life doesn't provide us with those. 

I just wish for you that this journey could've turned out differently, sweetheart.  I hope that you and your H can eventually find peace and find so much joy in the life that you share.  (((katib77)))

Edit: sp

zapgurl44

Lots of (((hugs))) I'm so sorry

jenn0021

Oh Kati, this is not what I wanted to see when I came on today. I am so so sorry. I know that I can't really say anything to make this better but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your DH as you move forward CFNBC. Sending you so many ((hugs)).

anitaflora

I'm so, so sorry katib I've been thinking about you so much and have been so extremely grateful for your support. Sending so many hugs and so much love.

KMW08

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Huge huge hugs (((Kati))). There just aren't kind enough words. I'm sending love & strength to you and yh at this time. I can not express how thankful I am for all of the support and knowledge you've given to ttcal. My heart and prayers are with you.

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stephy1221

I am so sorry. Hugs.