Party for second baby? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Party for second baby?

mam885mam885 member
edited June 2014 in Baby Showers
My MIL approached me yesterday about hosting a shower for her daughter/my SIL for her second child (5 years apart, different gender this time, perhaps that was why she thought it was appropriate?)  My SIL told her that she didn't think a shower was a great idea, but she was down for any excuse to eat cake.

So, what I'm wondering is, would a close-friends-and-family party be appropriate?  No gifts, obviously, but if the party gets the green light from you ladies, would anyone have ideas for some sort of contribution for guests to bring?  I'm thinking easy recipes, funny anecdotes from their second pregnancy, etc.  (Or we could just go with CAKE PARTY 2014 and leave Baby Boy out of it.....)
Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


Re: Party for second baby?

  • mam885mam885 member
    Thank you for your replies. It looks like there's no real way to get around it. We all want to celebrate the new baby together (this would just be moms, sisters, and best friend), any ideas for how to do this?
    (A meet the baby party isn't a viable option because her daughter's birthday will be just a few weeks after the new guy is born, so that birthday party may end up being a bit of a "meet the baby" for this same group. And I feel having DD1's birthday within weeks of DS's meet the baby is tackier than even a full-fledged shower.)
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


  • mam885mam885 member
    I would like to reply that expecting a baby is absolutely something to celebrate!
    There's no need to get catty about anything. I won't be hosting any sort of formal get together, I was just asking a few questions on a message board to see if there was any way to tastefully appease my MIL and celebrate the good news in my SIL's life! It looks like that's not an option and no one will lose any sleep over it.
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


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  • mam885mam885 member
    Thanks for the reply! I think we will just do that. Most of us get together pretty regularly, anyway, so we'll just invite 2 more people and call it good!
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


  • mam885mam885 member
    You guys know there's a baby inside her belly, right?
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


    nickicl
  • mam885mam885 member
    Guys, guys, guys.  I'm with you.  I think having a shower for a second kid is tacky as hell.  Where we differ, however, is that I feel like a small- giftless- luncheon including a variety of sisters, mothers, and a best friend to celebrate a baby (yes, even if the baby is still inside the mom) is more of a gray area.
    It is clear that, among those of you who have replied, that is NOT a gray area.  I understand that a situation where invites are sent out will have the connotation that gifts are implied and it might end up in a big old awkward situation for those attending. 
    As I stated in my original post, I have no intention of throwing a shower/sprinkle/etc.  And since it's clear that this does not get a green light, I'm not going to throw one.  I asked for advice for a reason.  Please do not assume that the the fact that I don't appreciate the snarkiness in regards to our respective definition differences means I'm going to go off in a huff and disregard the guidance that I asked for.
    Also, thanks to Joy 2611 for your initial comment.  I had never thought of a shower as an introduction to parenthood before, so thank you for that insight.  It's not a way I had looked at things before, so I appreciate the difference in perspective.  (Things got a little dark after that, but it's internet anonymity, what can you do?)
    (As I mentioned earlier, a meet the baby get together is already informally taken care of by big sister's birthday about a month after he is due to arrive, so a second party so close to the first's birthday is not welcome.)

    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


  • mam885mam885 member
    Thanks for the advice.  The meet the baby party isn't going to work out in the case (go ahead and skip past this part, because I assume no one cares, but the 5 year old's party is a family affair, two of the moms drive about 3 hours, I'm traveling twice for work and once for a family vacation and that takes us into Thanksgiving, etc.)  It's a lovely idea, but just not going to work out.  

    It's not a big deal, I'll just take my SIL to lunch to celebrate and bring a big ol' cake!
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


  • mam885mam885 member
    Could I politely refer you to my previous reply and ask that you not infer that one is a special snowflake before reading through entire posts.
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


  • mam885mam885 member
    You get someone who asks for advice, then thanks you for the advice and takes said advice and then call that person names (possibly because you didn't read the thread?). Interesting.
    Missed Miscarriage 9 weeks/Missed Miscarriage 12 weeks/Natural Miscarriage 5.5 weeks
    BFP 11/6/09. Rory Anne Born 6/28/10!


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