I'm back and come carrying an apology — The Bump
Late Term and Child Loss

I'm back and come carrying an apology

Hi ladies-

Sadly, I'm back here again.  Our sweet girl was due on Thanksgiving and after having a hard time finding her heartbeat last night and this morning, my doctor confirmed that we'd lost her. I'm 15 weeks along and checking in to the hospital tomorrow for another induction and delivery. Since this is my second 2nd tri loss, we'll be doing chromosomal testing on both my husband and I to see where any underlying issues may be in addition to all of the usual blood tests, etc. I had such fears during this pregnancy but once we got the all clear with the Panorama and were about to start our growth scans, I was finally starting to allow myself to get excited and now this.

My apology start with this. You ladies were so wonderful to me during such a terrible time but once I started TTC, I had a hard time being here.  One of the saddest things about this board is that you realize just how often these horrible things happen and as I was trying to look forward, it was really hard to be here and see all of that. So I sincerely apologize for not participating and providing as much support as I could have as we were TTC and when I was PG. I hope you ladies can forgive me and that you don't mind me lurking and chiming in here and there again. I look forward to catching up.

BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

 

Re: I'm back and come carrying an apology

  • Oh I'm so sorry :(
    Don't ever apologize for not being active here. Though I've only begun TTCAL again, I can appreciate how you'd prefer to focus on positivity.

    Married August 20th, 2005 to the love of my life.

    1st BFP August 6th, 2010. Missed MC discovered at 13 weeks. 

    2nd BFP January 5th, 2011. Beautiful Harper born September 28th, 2011.

    3rd BFP March 15th, 2013. Treated with methotrexate for ectopic pg at 7 weeks.

    4th BFP August 2nd, 2013. Sweet Micah born sleeping at 21 weeks with full T13. 5th BFP July 1st, 2014. Praying for a healthy, full term rainbow!

    luckyclover0922diamante1181
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  • I'm so sorry for both of your losses.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Sig warning***




    I am so so sorry for the loss of you sweet baby and that you are going through this again.

    I hope you get some answers from testing- but wish that you weren't in this situation to begin with.

    Sending so many thoughts of love, comfort and healing to you and the beautiful soul gone too soon.


    (Fwiw, I completely relate to your wanting to look forward and not being as present on here. I'm guilty of it as well.)
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    Anniversary

    TTC since 2008
    Dh:34, no issues.  Me:31, Endo, slightly hypothyroid, deformed ovary, paracentric inversion.
    4 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone +TI cycles= all BFN
    Lap in 2012 to remove large unresolving cyst discovered endo and double lobed ovary.
     6 Gonal-F, Cetrotide, HcG, Crinone IUI cycles= All BFN,
    1st IVF w/ICSI- June '13 Antagonist: Gonal-F, Menopur, Ganirelix, HcG, Estradiol, Crinone= 7 retrieved, 4 mature, 1 unfertilized, 2 abnormally fertilized, 1 normally fertilized.  2DT of only embryo and our miracle BFP.
    Our beloved baby boy was born sleeping Oct. 13, 2013 due to pROM/IC/Uterine infection.
    2nd IVF w/ICSI- Feb. '14 EPP/lupron/antagonist: Estrace, lupron, HGH, Gonal-F, Menopur, HcG, PIO, lovenox, doxy/dex.=21 retrieved, 16 mature, 15 fertilized!!  5dt of 1 blast/ 6 frozen. BFP!  Beta 1 9dp5dt:83.9  Beta 2: 11dp5dt: 145.2  Beta 3  14dp5dt: 497  Please be our sticky rainbow baby!

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


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  • Oh I'm so sorry for your loss its definitely hard being on this board while TTC,  I wholeheartedly agree. Come back as you can , we're here for you!!  (((big hugs!!!))))
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

                                                      

                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


                  Anniversary





  • VyD81VyD81 member
    edited June 2014
    Edit, ***siggy warning***

    My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl and you're going through this process again. No apology needed, I understand that you want to stay positive and there's nothing wrong with that. 
    I hope you can find some answer for you. T&P as you go through induction and delivery. 
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your little girl. Please don't apologize for not being as active on this board. Please know that we are still here for you. Many hugs to you

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. I remember you from this board and I'm also on the November board and there is no apology needed. We are here for you and send thoughts, prayers and hugs your way.
  • ***ticker***

    I am so sorry to hear you have lost another baby. So very sorry.

    No one understands better than we do when you need a break from things. Please do not apologize.

    Please lean on us however you need to.
    Lilypie - (qptF)


    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."


  • ***Sig Warning***


    I am so very sorry for the loss of your little girl.  Sending the biggest of ((((((hugs)))))).  As for apologizing for being less active, I don't think it is necessary at all.  It is the nature of grief.  And I think that part of the beauty of this board is that it is here when needed.  When you need support it is here and when you are ready to give support, you can do that too.  Sending you so many T&P.









     
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers    
      *All AL Welcome*    imageimage

  • I am so sorry sweetheart... No need to apologize, ((((hugs))))

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        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our ra
    inbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • Oh, I am so sorry to see you back here. I agree with PP, there is no need to apologize. It's hard to keep seeing new moms intro and know all the pain and all the scary things that can happen. I am so so sorry. ((Hugs))
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I'm so sorry you find yourself back here.  I haven't lost two pregnancies, but I have lost two babies (twin boys).  I know the pain is just unbearable when it is multiplied like that.  Hugs and love to you. 
  • ***SIGGY***




    You don't owe us an apology. TTCAL and PgAL are hard enough as it is; sometimes, this board can just become too overwhelming. I totally get it (i think most of us do). I am so, so sorry to see you back here, but we are still here for you. Sending lots of love and hugs.









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  • I also posted on ttcal....so sorry you are going thru this again....I honestly can't imagine 2 second tri losses.  ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • Oh, @sunflwra‌ I am so sorry for your loss. Do not worry about not being active recently. I totally understand the need to want to distant from this sometimes. I wish we didn't have to "welcome you back" but sending lots of hugs to you!!
  • Ticker warning

    I'm so sorry for your losses.  Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Don't ever feel bad for not being as active.  That is the great thing about this board, when some aren't able to be active, others are and vice versa.  At some points in our grief journey we are not able to offer the support to others, but there others who can.  And when the others can't, you can. 

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • Please don't apologize, but please do take good care of yourself during this time. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby girl. ((hugs))

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Thanks ladies- I truly appreciate it.   Our induction appointment was scheduled for this morning and got postponed bc the hospital was too full, so we're rescheduled for tomorrow.  Sadly there is some weird comfort in at least knowing what to expect since we just went through this 6 months ago. My only concern is that my doctor told me there was a slightly higher chance of having retained product since I'm not as far along which would require a D&C as well, so I'm just hoping it goes as smoothly as it did last time.  I'll be checking in with you ladies soon- thank you again for being so welcoming :)

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • First, I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this again! In many ways I felt like our second loss was harder to deal with than the first, so I'll be thinking of you and your family in the weeks to come. Secondly, don't apologize for not being here add much as you had been. I had to take a break from this board during both of my subsequent pregnancies. It's hard enough being pgal without adding the worry that we feel reading everyone else's loss stories. I mostly lurk here now that I'm pal for the same reason. I worry so much about dd already hearing about other losses just amplifies those worries. Do what you need to to take care of yourself. That's the most important thing. Many hugs your way!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image



  • I am so sorry for your loss. And as others have said, no need to apologize, we all understand. Thinking of you.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
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  • erinelerinel member
    No need to apologize, I'm very sorry for your losses

    Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38

    Married 5/2010

    January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks

    February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus

    February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks

    My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32 

     


  • I am so very sorry for your losses.  My heart hurts for everything you have gone through and will be going through.  You are in my thoughts and prayers. 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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