Let's discuss: sprinkles

motherboy

Not the awesome ice cream topping. For those who don't know, sprinkle is term for a baby shower for second, third etc children.

Any second time moms know they want one? Wish you were? Find them tacky? Are they common in your circle?

thumper7912

I guess I find it tacky if mom to be plans it.  and makes a registry… I think it should be a get together to celebrate the new baby, not to get presents.  Maybe that's a UO!!

LooneyLife

I'm a FTM, but I think asking/expecting one is tacky. However, I don't hate on a close friend or family member offering to host one out of love and happiness for the mother.

I should also add, they're not common in my circle nor have I ever been invited to one.

UberBiz

I don't think they're tacky as long as the mother-to-be doesn't demand one. My daughter and my son are 8 years apart. I no longer live where my daughter was born, and I am with a different guy, so his mother (and mine), wanted to throw us a shower, since there was so much time between, different sex, and different father. I think it made sense, and I was very grateful for it.

Since this one is so close to DS, I don't expect anything, but I wouldn't be upset if FI's mom decided she wanted to do something anyway. His family is big on parties, so I wouldn't be surprised, but like I said, I'm not expecting it, and I don't think badly of those who do have a 'sprinkle.'

longcat07

i might wish i could have one, since i never really had a shower with DS, but i don't see it happening and i would never ask for one.  SO is not close with his extended family and my family are all two days' drive away.  the only way i'd find it tacky is if the mom-to-be was planning it herself or telling someone else to throw it for her.  i don't even want gifts because honestly we don't have the space.  i'd just like the get-together to celebrate this new baby.

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motherboy

Oh man now that I'm thinking about it, I need to go to a double sprinkle in a month. Two moms, both having kids of the same sex as their previous ones pretty close together. Any mom's of 2+ have good gift ideas?

jnburkett

I don't believe they are tacky.  They are a celebration of a new life just like a birthday. 

UberBiz said:

I don't think they're tacky as long as the mother-to-be doesn't demand one. My daughter and my son are 8 years apart. I no longer live where my daughter was born, and I am with a different guy, so his mother (and mine), wanted to throw us a shower, since there was so much time between, different sex, and different father. I think it made sense, and I was very grateful for it.

Since this one is so close to DS, I don't expect anything, but I wouldn't be upset if FI's mom decided she wanted to do something anyway. His family is big on parties, so I wouldn't be surprised, but like I said, I'm not expecting it, and I don't think badly of those who do have a 'sprinkle.'

I completely agree with this.  I have no idea if one is going to happen for this baby, my children will be 3 years apart and things have gotten lost or given to friends for their babies.  This is the first baby/grandbaby for DB and his family so I hope they are wanting to celebrate this.  I know he is.  He has already taken inventory of all our baby stuff and said...we need more.  So cute.

thumper7912

@Motherboy  ask them!  I can't imagine this one being a girl and having a shower… all I NEED (which is actually more of a want) is a double stroller…  Maybe do diapers?  A cute diaper cake with washcloths?? 

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renee407

I was wondering this same thing. I'm pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest is 15 and youngest is 10. I absolutely have nothing left from them bc I thought I was done. Is it appropiate to have a shower if given from friends or family?

MoreThanSparrows08

I have no idea whether to expect a shower or not.  I'm a 3rd time mom, but my boys are 7 and 5, so I have NOTHING baby left,with the exception of like 5 really special outfits.  With #2, I had a diaper shower, and got a couple other items I needed - double stroller, new car seat, etc. Any input would be great!

motherboy

renee407 said:

I was wondering this same thing. I'm pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest is 15 and youngest is 10. I absolutely have nothing left from them bc I thought I was done. Is it appropiate to have a shower if given from friends or family?

As long as they offer i think sprinkles in your case are totally legit!

thumper7912

jnburkett said:

I don't believe they are tacky.  They are a celebration of a new life just like a birthday. 

UberBiz said:

I don't think they're tacky as long as the mother-to-be doesn't demand one. My daughter and my son are 8 years apart. I no longer live where my daughter was born, and I am with a different guy, so his mother (and mine), wanted to throw us a shower, since there was so much time between, different sex, and different father. I think it made sense, and I was very grateful for it.

Since this one is so close to DS, I don't expect anything, but I wouldn't be upset if FI's mom decided she wanted to do something anyway. His family is big on parties, so I wouldn't be surprised, but like I said, I'm not expecting it, and I don't think badly of those who do have a 'sprinkle.'

I completely agree with this.  I have no idea if one is going to happen for this baby, my children will be 3 years apart and things have gotten lost or given to friends for their babies.  This is the first baby/grandbaby for DB and his family so I hope they are wanting to celebrate this.  I know he is.  He has already taken inventory of all our baby stuff and said...we need more.  So cute.

I agree with this as well, but when the mom to be demands one… that's tacky.

renee407 said:

I was wondering this same thing. I'm pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest is 15 and youngest is 10. I absolutely have nothing left from them bc I thought I was done. Is it appropiate to have a shower if given from friends or family?

I think as long as your family or friends offer to do it for you, it's totally appropriate! 

jnburkett

renee407 said:

I was wondering this same thing. I'm pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest is 15 and youngest is 10. I absolutely have nothing left from them bc I thought I was done. Is it appropiate to have a shower if given from friends or family?

I would think this is appropriate.  If I was your family or friend I would make sure you got one, the age separation alone lets me know you probably don't have anything left without asking.   

2000cougar

I don't like them if people had to have everything pink for their first child (stroller, car seats...) and are now having a boy and want people to buy them everything blue. I also don't see the need if you have children close together. I don't want one. They're common where the IL's live.

I can understand if people have children with a large age gap/different spouse/other life changes want to have one. I'm more inclined to agree with a sprinkle in these cases.

I'd rather give a personalized gift after the baby is born. 

AlfiesMOM

I would NEVER ask for one. However, I think its fine if people's families/friends/coworkers want to do something a little nice. We did one for our coworker she was having her third and it was a girl. Her first was a girl also and there was 7 years between them. It was small, mostly diapers and little outfits! If people threw one for me that would be fun but by NO means necessary. We have a lot for the baby already! If its a girl we are really set!

BookitBoo

Sprinkles are pretty common in our region. I dont think anybody Bats an eye as long as the mom to be doesnt demand it.


I think they're pretty useful for moms who have a big age difference in babies, or who have new in-laws.

UberBiz

nursesouder said:

I think its OK if your kids are far apart in age....maybe different sexes.  Here is the thing, how much do you expect people to buy for you.  One of my girlfriends two sons, about two years apart and had two showers.  It felt greedy IMHO.

I wouldn't expect much, diapers and probably some NB outfits cuz who can resist a cute baby outfit? I would never expect bigger items like swings and stuff.

Milagros315

I think expecting gifts or parties at anytime is poor form.

We had a sprinkle for my sister and her second baby. We didn't invite anyone, we just wanted to celebrate our new niece. Mostly we just gave her some cute new outfits. It was fun and not something my sister demanded or expected.

Personally, I would feel uncomfortable with having a full second shower and if someone offered one to me I would probably decline.

Lanatir

Idk.  I have mixed feelings.  On the one hand I CD, so I think a sprinkle is fairly useless.

One girl in a mom's group that I'm part of got pregnant with a singleton after having boy/girl twins.  She was 8 months postpartum.  The play group threw here a BIG sprinkle.  Like she got a new crib from one of the moms.  It turned into a real shower.  I thought that was super tacky.  8 months PP I hadn't thrown away or lent out any of DD's baby stuff, and they moved in with her parents and rented out their house so their parents could help with the twins.  Idk every mom who has ended up pregnant since the play group started, they've dedicated a whole play date day to the "sprinkle."  So maybe my negative feelings are because it's not really even an optional invitation, it's a "bring something or be the awkward person who comes to play group and isn't happy for her or skip play group."  I've skipped every date for the sprinkles.  I'm dreading when/if they find out I'm pregnant because I don't need anything being a CDer.

However, some people truly could really need the help with diaper costs if they are using disposables (for various reasons).  I had told a friend who was almost certain her BC failed and she was pregnant at 18m PP and her H was out of a job that I could get some diapers or something for her if that was the case.  There I see a need.

WillCMyInk

I think it depends on a lot of factors. Like PPs have said, if your last kid was 5+ years ago or this is a new husband and family then maybe I can see a sprinkle or a shower.

That being said, if anyone actually EXPECTS a shower (whether it's their first or fifth kid) I find it to be tacky. Yes, the help is nice but you can't expect other people to clothe and provide for the child that you created.

YaMrWhite

My stepmom has already said when we have another kid she will be throwing me another shower but I will make sure to specify we don't need anything. I don't like the term sprinkle and I also don't like the idea of a mom-to-be throwing her own. You should try and prepare yourself financially for the expenses of a child without needing help. I know there are times when ppl do need help or fall on hard times but if you are making a conscious decision to have a kid, try to prepare financially.

orangehills

I think they are tacky. I mean, if someone insists or it's a surprise shower, I guess.. But I think the mother wanting one is tacky. Get gender neutral stuff, save your items, and save your money to buy what you need. Each kid does not equal fun new stuff that other people buy.

Beckyboo71

Either way, for a first baby or 2nd, 3rd, etc...I feel like it's tacky to throw your own shower/sprinkle anyway. That being said, like others posted, in my case, my DD is almost 7, and I have hardly any baby stuff left (I ran her stroller into the ground! Used it as long as I could!!!). I am also married to a different guy, and this is his first baby, so I know that one of our best friends will definitely throw us one. To sum it up, as long as someone else is planning it, I think it's fine. But if the ages are really close, it looks tacky, imo.

renee407

Thanks for the comments. Very helpful

LuckyPenny1231

I think every baby should be celebrated. I'm not expecting a shower however. If someone wants to throw me a sprinkle or whatever, I wouldn't turn it down. But this will probably only happen if it's a boy. I wouldn't expect lavish gifts. Maybe a pack of boy onesies or socks since we have a girl. Something simple.

I've also thought about doing a "sip and see" after the baby is born. I would have close friends and family over for some food and drinks to celebrate the new baby. Gifts won't be expected though.

motherboy

@Lanatir‌ I totally understand those mixed emotions. The double sprinkle I'm going to, both of the moms have same sex kids as they are pregnant with and the kids are still under two. It seems over the top to me so I will probably not go all out on gifts.

I feel bad for my sister. She's not married and doesn't have kids and sooo many of her friends are getting married and having kids this year and she is getting hit up for gifts left and right, without anything in return. I don't know. It reminds me of that episode of sex and the city where Carrie loses her shoes at a shower and makes the host replace them.

Mrs_Bennett

I think they're perfectly acceptable and sweet-- as long as the expectant mother isn't planning or requesting it! A few close friends threw a surprise sprinkle for me when I was expecting DS2. We didn't need a darn thing for the baby, but it felt nice to know that they were just as excited for #2! I got a lot of diapers and new baby outfits.

Spunky1012

My friend is having a Sprinkle next week actually. I find hers incredibly tacky because I know the back story and the type of person she is. She expected one and asked her sister for one. She is having a girl this time and had a boy first. She registered for all new items - I'm talking everything. Just the pink version. Tacky as hell.

armedmommy

I didn't get a shower with ds! So I figured I would get one with DD and that wasn't happening so I planed my owned and it was awful. I did everything alone!!! I was still alone in the kitchen cooking while people were done and leaving. This time in not doing anything and hope I get surprised maybe - sure I won't!

Pips09

I'm not expecting one. I'm OK with small second showers, as long as it's only close friends or family, and small presents.

I don't subscribe to the "every baby should be celebrated" theory. The shower is for the mom, not the baby. 

LadyXaverian

I suspect the people at work will throw something for me. Not sure if family/friends will want to, but I don't expect one from them. I will probably still put together a registry, though, for myself. Discount codes FTW!

peggels24

I see nothing wrong with a "sprinkle" (even though I had never heard of that term before) so long as someone else is planning it / throwing it.  And if the mother is registered for big ticket items (perhaps for some of the reasons noted in the Registry thread from earlier - the completion coupons, etc) and someone wants to buy it for them, then I do not consider it tacky at all.

However, I do find anyone throwing their own shower (of any number) to be tacky.  

newguardwife

I don't think their tacky as long as they are thrown by someone else. I have some of the bigger things left from my DS but honestly after moving 3 times (and likely again before this one comes) there will be a lot that we will need.

Zoebot

We've moved so we're part of a new church/work group, so it's entirely possible that new friends here would want to throw one (I don't know if either my church/work has any "policies" as to whether or not they'll only host one for the first child - I know many places do).

Honestly though, I really don't want one.  With Milo we were team green, so all the early clothes and big ticket items are gender neutral.  Team green for this nugget, too, so it's not like I would even know if I needed girly clothes for later on.  The only thing we'll really need are diapers.

However, I do love a party and any cause to celebrate.  So with that, if other people have/want them (especially if their previous children are older), and someone else is offering to host, I don't think it's all that tacky.

BackseatDriver

I really don't care if someone has a sprinkle or a full on shower. I don't think the mom should ask or expect one though.

spoonleg

YaMrWhite said:

My stepmom has already said when we have another kid she will be throwing me another shower but I will make sure to specify we don't need anything. I don't like the term sprinkle and I also don't like the idea of a mom-to-be throwing her own. You should try and prepare yourself financially for the expenses of a child without needing help. I know there are times when ppl do need help or fall on hard times but if you are making a conscious decision to have a kid, try to prepare financially.

This.

As a childless person in my mid-30s, I have been to countless baby showers- many of them for 2nd and 3rd babies. Not only do I find baby showers in general to be somewhat obnoxious, I also find myself wondering why a mom needs the same exact bouncer/walker/playpen/bjorn she was given 2 years ago but in another color.

I do not like being the center of attention. I do not like asking for gifts. I do not expect anyone else to contribute financially to the child my husband and I chose to create. We are financially prepared to have a baby and to incur all associated expenses ourselves. If we weren't, we wouldn't have chosen to have a kid at this time. I understand that people fall on hard times and sometimes pregnancies are unexpected. In these cases, I'm sure that receiving hand-me-downs from friends and family would be very welcome.

We are not really into material things. I recently looked at a friend's baby registry (3rd kid) and was appalled at the insane number of useless items she registered for. HUNDREDS of items. And they already have a roomful of stuff for this kid, even pre-shower. It strikes me as greedy, superficial and materialistic.

I will gladly accept hand-me-downs of things like clothes, books, or furniture. I will graciously decline any offers to have a shower thrown in my honor. Like a PP mentioned, the new trend of "sip and see" parties are more up my alley, and would be less of a beat-down for our childfree friends to attend. No gifts expected- bring a bottle of champagne and come celebrate with us!

AreWeHavingFunYet

I'm not sure whether my family/friends will throw a sprinkle for us, but I certainly won't ask for one. I would really only feel comfortable with it if we were to have a boy this time.

I am not planning on registering because DD is 2 and a half and all of the big ticket items are gender neutral and still in good condition. The only thing we'll really need are new sheets and some clothes that aren't dresses.