UO

YellowLily2013

ovenrack said:

Okay. Here's a question and UO wrapped up in one... because, apparently, I'm a pretentious brat. 

I am doing an gift swap, and (thank goodness) my recipient CDs, so I got to buy her a cute diaper (which was on her wishlist). There's a little $ left within the limit to get something extra. Do I buy straight from her wishlist, or can I make or buy something different?  

I am much more hippie-dippy than her, so I'd love to not buy something that uses batteries and is made in China from polyester hot pink fabric.  I'd stay in the same vein (she asked for toys, so I'd get a toy).

Or should I get over myself and buy what she wants.  

If its just a small toy I'd get what you want. I know the majority of my wish list are examples of what I like. I'm not offended if someone buys something similar or you know completely different! Cause that's what people do.

Also, if you already got her one thing on her list I think she'll be happy!

Eta: one if my favorite wedding gifts was something I didn't register for. And it's soo nice it's something I wouldn't even think to put of our registry.

Also, there are expensive toys I like but I don't always put them on my registries because I know my family would completely judge. So I put moderately priced items that show I like wooden toys as what not.

BoyOhBoys

I think adult braces look stupid, people with no lips creep me out and I think a little snaggle tooth/buck tooth is quirky cute.

Glad to finally get that out there in the internets...

Into+the+Kitty

SecretAgentKate said:

Mandmeesh said:

I love cutesy little baby clothes. They're really difficult to find, especially for boys. All the clothes are designed to make your baby look like a stupid hipster: cuffed jeans, popped collar shirt, fedoras. Come on! Give me some onesies and hats with puppy ears

cutesy was totally the style when i had M.  all of my baby clothes have hoods with ears or puppy dog paws on them.  i could actually go for some popped collar shirts 

Into+the+Kitty said:

I don't like chevron.

send me all the chevron!

i think wearing something other than the hospital issued gown when you're in labor is silly.

I actually wore this for my last labor:

Although, seriously I ended up giving birth naked, and hated laboring in those fucking gowns, especially because I wore them in the tub (the pressure of the wet cloth on my belly helped tremendously, but I'd just use a wet towel next time if the same case exists) and probably went through 20+ of them from getting wet. They were so scratchy and awful. Next time I'm totally wearing a bikini and bringing some shitty tank tops and some sort of throw away jersey skirts or something for next time. I hated them that much.

Although I think buying 'cute' stuff to labor in is ridiculous. But fuck that, I labored at the hospital for 24 hours, I better be comfortable doing it.

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jcwinsto

That's why it's a UO.  But I have to disagree that it is just as dangerous as riding a bike or being in a bike trailer thing.  He has wonderful head control and he sets low enough in it that his head rests against the back somewhat.  Bikes have two wheels instead of 4 and are much easier to crash/fall sideways IMO and I would imagine that the trailers don't have much suspension.  I would never try biking with him because I know I don't have the coordination.  I also would never try to ski or snow shoe with him either because of the slipping and falling factor. Certain 4 wheelers have much better suspension than others and mine is excellent.  And being an experienced operator I know the limits of my ride and I'm not even going to get close to the roll over point.  I imagine that we will be sitting and waiting while MH rides in to places that I'm not going to try.  Like I said,  it's about being responsible and knowing your limits and the vehicles limits. 

jcwinsto

I think adult braces are awkward but I totally get why they want them.

I labored in a $7 knit skirt and tank top.  I think those gowns are uncormfortable.  I feel like I get all wrapped up and restrained in them.  When they ended up put internal monitors on me and then deciding to go for the cs I told them to cut the skirt off and throw it away.  The nurses where all trying to figure out another way to save it and I was having to practically order them to cut it off and throw it.

And I can't stand that TB is eating every one of my paragraphs.  I look like a typing idiot.

JEPES1348

Yes, but you can't know or estimate the terrain. Bikes that are pulling bike buggies are on solid and, for the most part, flat, level surfaces. ORVs can hit holes, bumps, loose gravel, etc. No one pulls a bike stroller while mountain biking, because the terrain is too rough.

I'm not saying you'r not an experienced or knowledgeable operator, but I agree that a little 4 mo old doesn't have very much head or trunk control to steady themselves. 

jcwinsto

Holy moly! It kept them that time!

ElleBeeDub

Mandmeesh said:

I love cutesy little baby clothes. They're really difficult to find, especially for boys. All the clothes are designed to make your baby look like a stupid hipster: cuffed jeans, popped collar shirt, fedoras. Come on! Give me some onesies and hats with puppy ears

I love that little boy clothes look like little hipster clothes. G has had a fedora and a newsboy cap in every size he's worn pretty much since he was born, and they're adorable. He also wears polos most days, has more than one sweater with elbow patches, and has owned at least one pair of skinny jeans. He also owns Ugly Dolls and multiple monster-themed items. That being said, I love hoodies with bear ears (we have had a couple full fleece suits that have bear ears and he was the cutest snuggliest thing in them).

unaveragejane

I am totally "that mom" who would dress DS in smocked jon-jons and appliqued outfits a lot of the time if we could afford it. In my defence, I don't think the long legged bubble rompers look right on boys, and the short ones only work up to a year at most.

MorganWP

@CarolineEmma A similar thing happened to me. My DD hates wearing socks and pulls them off any chance she gets. One time we were in the mall and she had pulled her socks off, this dude in the elevator commented on it and made it seem like I was this horrible person for letting her go without.

haileyq

jcwinsto said:

That's why it's a UO.  But I have to disagree that it is just as dangerous as riding a bike or being in a bike trailer thing.  He has wonderful head control and he sets low enough in it that his head rests against the back somewhat.  Bikes have two wheels instead of 4 and are much easier to crash/fall sideways IMO and I would imagine that the trailers don't have much suspension.  I would never try biking with him because I know I don't have the coordination.  I also would never try to ski or snow shoe with him either because of the slipping and falling factor. Certain 4 wheelers have much better suspension than others and mine is excellent.  And being an experienced operator I know the limits of my ride and I'm not even going to get close to the roll over point.  I imagine that we will be sitting and waiting while MH rides in to places that I'm not going to try.  Like I said,  it's about being responsible and knowing your limits and the vehicles limits. 

Yikes. The ER nurse in me cringed a little, TBH.

Rrrrrachel

I think preschool/elementary/middle school graduations are stupid.

I'm not even going there on the four wheeler thing.

nanabanana06

Uh, I would call CPS if I saw a little child on a 4wheeler. Seeing a baby being worn would really do that. I know it's our job to do what we think is best, but that is child endangerment. Even if you don't think so. I've been 4wheeling many many times. It's not safe, at all for anyone younger than probably 12. Those things are bumpy, jerky, and roll easily.

Into+the+Kitty

I have a last minute one too: I hate when people call the anatomy scan a 'gender scan.' First, there's the whole gender/sex thing which annoys me. Second, believe it or not the scan is a medical procedure to make sure that your baby is developing properly and is healthy, not to be like, 'Let's get a crotch shot!'

I get that it's exciting to see your baby, and that it's a big perk (for non team green) to find out the sex of your baby, but it is not the sole purpose of the visit, and it annoys me when people treat it like it is.

flummadiddle85

It's apparently an UO to have more cookie dough in cookie dough ice cream. At least it seems so with the ice cream makers.... Even the super chunky stuff I got hardly has any. This pregnant woman with a barely sleeping toddler today wanted cookie dough in every spoonful. I'm better off making my own.

jcwinsto

Don't get me wrong. I like listening to what others think about things. I totally get where people would be concerned just with the idea on the surface. I've actually talked with several people (parents, grandparents, neighbors) IRL about our plans in passing and at most they asked how we are going to manage the baby. Once I explain no one has been concerned with the plans. I think it has to do with actually knowing me and trusting me. I also have to wonder what kind of 4 wheeler riding some of you have done. Yea, it can be rough but it doesn't have to be. I think calling it reckless endangerment would be going a little far though as well as calling CPS (although, if you see me you are welcome to do as you please) . There isn't a law against it. The machines do have a suggested age limit because it may be dangerous for someone younger who might be operating it inappropriately. I just think you can't judge someone too much without knowing them and the real life situation. There are a lot of situations that can be completely different than what we are picturing in our heads when we read something. I'm confident in my plan enough to try it and if it's not working then we stop.

nanabanana06

I just couldn't think of anything or hobby I'd even consider putting my childs life at risk for. I love me some go karts and quads too, but I'm willing to wait until I have a sitter to do so. There are some things that are pretty common sense.

mrshudson618

Honestly if this were a different board/ poster I would call MUD on the 4 wheeler thing because otherwise I can't imagine why someone would post something that seems so obviously unsafe other than to get a rise out of people.

Mandmeesh

jcwinsto said:

Don't get me wrong. I like listening to what others think about things. I totally get where people would be concerned just with the idea on the surface. I've actually talked with several people (parents, grandparents, neighbors) IRL about our plans in passing and at most they asked how we are going to manage the baby. Once I explain no one has been concerned with the plans. I think it has to do with actually knowing me and trusting me. I also have to wonder what kind of 4 wheeler riding some of you have done. Yea, it can be rough but it doesn't have to be. I think calling it reckless endangerment would be going a little far though as well as calling CPS (although, if you see me you are welcome to do as you please) . There isn't a law against it. The machines do have a suggested age limit because it may be dangerous for someone younger who might be operating it inappropriately. I just think you can't judge someone too much without knowing them and the real life situation. There are a lot of situations that can be completely different than what we are picturing in our heads when we read something. I'm confident in my plan enough to try it and if it's not working then we stop.

does it say anywhere in the manual that a 4 month old should be strapped onto a rider?

just wondering what the literature says

Rrrrrachel

All it takes is you falling off. Not a roll over or major accident. Just falling off. And your child could be permanently injured.

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JEPES1348

Also, in defense of the grandparents with no opinions: they didn't even have carseats when our grandparents were raising children. The babies just sat on the laps of moms or sibs. THAT was stupid, so it's no longer the acceptable practice. Things have changed dramatically since your grandparents had to think about infant safety. Even my mother was a little surprised at all the changes in safety standards since the 80s when she had kids. Soooo, that's probably why Gram doesn't think it's so terrible.

Into+the+Kitty

I think it's funny that you're offended that someone would (rightfully) call Child Protective Services in the interest of... Protecting your child. Why don't you give your local CPS a call and ask them if someone taking a 4 month old on a 4 wheeler warrants filing a report. You can even tell them how slow the person was driving, and that they sure looked trustworthy. I bet you dollars to donuts that they're not going to say, 'Oh, well if you TRUST them....'

Do you even have a foam protective helmet small enough for your infant in the case one or both of you falls off? Doubtful, since they don't make them that small.

Do you know the immediate signs and symptoms of shaken baby syndrome so that you would be able to stop immediately and take your baby to an emergency room? Well, I have to tell you, even if you do, the swelling to your child's brain would have already taken effect and if your child is lucky enough to not die from the encounter it will be permanently disabled. Good luck, by the way, explaining the injury to the doctors and nurses in the ER.

Rrrrrachel

The risk vs benefit ratio seems way off to me. If it goes wrong it's going to go SO WRONG. And not necessarily gradually so you can see what's happening and change your mind. In a moment things can go from fine to tragic. All so you can sedately drive a four wheeler on level ground.

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flummadiddle85

I wasn't really gonna say anything, but with bike trailers, I know at least some if the bike falls, the trailer does not fall. So the kids are still fine and upright. 

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flummadiddle85

Ok... my one last thing: I thought the general babywearing rule of thumb was that if it isn't something you would do while holding your child, then don't do it while wearing your child. Running, biking, driving, off roading, etc....

JEPES1348

SecretAgentKate said:

ok, 1 more thing and then i'm (theoretically) done

we are about as backwoods as you get.  kids here grow up with guns in their hands and driving trucks through the backroads at 10 years old.  we're not "pearl-clutching city folk" who get worked up over every little thing.  so with that in mind, i just msged my friend who works for Children and Youth Services and explained the situation hypothetically and asked what their response would be if they had someone call in that report.  She replied that they would NEVER recommend that EVER, and if someone called it in they would absolutely investigate.  They would also call local law enforcement to become involved as well.  

ETA:  and yes, i included the information about slow speeds, not crazy terrain, and being an experienced 4 wheelerer operator. 

I've also seen a 3 yo who was shot in the head with an arrow by his 5 yo brother. I can't make this stuff up. The things I see in pediatric brain injury.

Not saying that will happen in your town, SAK! Just commenting that crazy, unpredictable shit happens all the time. That's why they're called "accidents." This whole topic makes my head hurt. Sorry, SAK, I quoted you to apparently rant, though it's not directed toward you, of course.

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Mandmeesh

Come on! This happens on the reg around here!!!

No. You effing stupid idiot lady, don't do this with your child

Mandmeesh

Yeah. I would call CPS if I saw that, and the police

JEPES1348

stringy813 said:

Guys, I forgot, Giselle did it in Costa Rica.  Its ok now. I'm pretty sure she got a lot of flack for it too. ETA: better photo

Still not okay, but that baby is also 1.5 years, not 4 months. 

My gosh, my little baby was still so fragile and tiny at 4 months. I couldn't imagine jostling her around! 

haileyq

Into+the+Kitty said:

I think it's funny that you're offended that someone would (rightfully) call Child Protective Services in the interest of... Protecting your child. Why don't you give your local CPS a call and ask them if someone taking a 4 month old on a 4 wheeler warrants filing a report. You can even tell them how slow the person was driving, and that they sure looked trustworthy. I bet you dollars to donuts that they're not going to say, 'Oh, well if you TRUST them....'

Do you even have a foam protective helmet small enough for your infant in the case one or both of you falls off? Doubtful, since they don't make them that small.

Do you know the immediate signs and symptoms of shaken baby syndrome so that you would be able to stop immediately and take your baby to an emergency room? Well, I have to tell you, even if you do, the swelling to your child's brain would have already taken effect and if your child is lucky enough to not die from the encounter it will be permanently disabled. Good luck, by the way, explaining the injury to the doctors and nurses in the ER.

I really, really don't mean to be a snarky know it all mom, but in all honestly, if a case came in like this through my department, a complete accident, the quad malfunctioned, someone else riding wasn't paying attention and hit you, there was an unsteady rock and you tipped, anything, CPS would be involved from the second you hit the door. Granted, you can't predict everything in life, you could get hit by a car walking your kid down the sidewalk in a stroller, but prudence and responsibility beg one not to intentionally do something this risky. An infants head to body ratio is so different than adults, and their necks are so fragile, a small bump that you wouldn't bat an eye at could cause a serious injury. Babies with traumatic brain injuries similar to that don't just bounce right back. They have to have CT scans which expose them to radiation which could cause cancer down the road, they usually have to have craniotomies in which part of their skull is removed to relieve the swelling, and there are usually long term effects. Maybe someone else can stay with baby while you get to go out and have some much needed fun?

Into+the+Kitty

jcwinsto said:

I've actually talked with several people (parents, grandparents, neighbors) IRL about our plans in passing and at most they asked how we are going to manage the baby.

You know what really annoys me about this part? You didn't state anywhere that you actually asked a professional or a doctor if it sounded like a good idea (probably because you already know what they would answer).

My own MIL told my husband to rub whiskey on my baby's gums when she was teething. She told him to do somersaults holding our child when she was waking up to BF at night. She tried telling me that the straps on my car seat were too tight and would hurt my baby before I'd even finished tightening them. Guess how much stock I put in her stupid, dangerous advice.

Amores0121

Into+the+Kitty said:

jcwinsto said:

I've actually talked with several people (parents, grandparents, neighbors) IRL about our plans in passing and at most they asked how we are going to manage the baby.

You know what really annoys me about this part? You didn't state anywhere that you actually asked a professional or a doctor if it sounded like a good idea (probably because you already know what they would answer).

My own MIL told my husband to rub whiskey on my baby's gums when she was teething. She told him to do somersaults holding our child when she was waking up to BF at night. She tried telling me that the straps on my car seat were too tight and would hurt my baby before I'd even finished tightening them. Guess how much stock I put in her stupid, dangerous advice.

somersaults while holding the child? What in prey-tell would this solve?  Besides likely injuring your baby and being really uncomfortable all around....