How to say no without him getting upset

MahriM23

NatureLovers said:

YaMrWhite said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

I am also of the mindset that you should avoid saying no to sex-if possible.

/:)

I'm grateful I have an understanding husband who I feel comfortable saying no to sometimes. he didn't marry me to get in my pants.  Ok, maybe partly so.. but, you know.

Agree. Sometimes you just gotta say "Not tonight. I have gas." lol

Seriously. I'm not a sex slave, yo.  This is giving me the willies.

This gave me the creeps. "Not good enough for my DH"? What's he going to do? Hit you? Force himself on you? You do not give up bodily autonomy when you get married, and it is not your job to be his sex slave.

Did anyone read my whole post? I literally was just saying going weeks on end without sex would not be an option for myself or DH (except for OBVIOUS reasons like after having a baby duh). I also suggested to the OP that if her husband is being pushy about it they should see a counselor. for record I am not pressured in my marriage to have sex, I just believe that having an ACTIVE sex life not a DEAD one is important for a happy/healthy relationship. I'm not a sex slave either. geez.

MusicFanatic

MahriM23 said:

NatureLovers said:

YaMrWhite said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

I am also of the mindset that you should avoid saying no to sex-if possible.

/:)

I'm grateful I have an understanding husband who I feel comfortable saying no to sometimes. he didn't marry me to get in my pants.  Ok, maybe partly so.. but, you know.

Agree. Sometimes you just gotta say "Not tonight. I have gas." lol

Seriously. I'm not a sex slave, yo.  This is giving me the willies.

This gave me the creeps. "Not good enough for my DH"? What's he going to do? Hit you? Force himself on you? You do not give up bodily autonomy when you get married, and it is not your job to be his sex slave.

Did anyone read my whole post? I literally was just saying going weeks on end without sex would not be an option for myself or DH (except for OBVIOUS reasons like after having a baby duh). I also suggested to the OP that if her husband is being pushy about it they should see a counselor. for record I am not pressured in my marriage to have sex, I just believe that having an ACTIVE sex life not a DEAD one is important for a happy/healthy relationship. I'm not a sex slave either. geez.

Did you read ours?  Because I certainly don't have a dead sex life. OR an unhappy/unhealthy marriage.. just because I say no sometimes.  And I HAVE gone weeks before.  That has zero result on my marriage.  It's not like I'm going weeks allllll the time.  I just find it weird that some women feel they can't really say no to sex.  In my marriage, I would consider that an unhealthy thing.

YaMrWhite

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

NatureLovers said:

MusicFanatic said:

YaMrWhite said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

I am also of the mindset that you should avoid saying no to sex-if possible.

/:)

I'm grateful I have an understanding husband who I feel comfortable saying no to sometimes. he didn't marry me to get in my pants.  Ok, maybe partly so.. but, you know.

Agree. Sometimes you just gotta say "Not tonight. I have gas." lol

Seriously. I'm not a sex slave, yo.  This is giving me the willies.

This gave me the creeps. "Not good enough for my DH"? What's he going to do? Hit you? Force himself on you? You do not give up bodily autonomy when you get married, and it is not your job to be his sex slave.




Did anyone read my whole post? I literally was just saying going weeks on end without sex would not be an option for myself or DH (except for OBVIOUS reasons like after having a baby duh). I also suggested to the OP that if her husband is being pushy about it they should see a counselor. for record I am not pressured in my marriage to have sex, I just believe that having an ACTIVE sex life not a DEAD one is important for a happy/healthy relationship. I'm not a sex slave either. geez.


Did you read ours?  Because I certainly don't have a dead sex life. OR an unhappy/unhealthy marriage.. just because I say no sometimes.  And I HAVE gone weeks before.  That has zero result on my marriage.  It's not like I'm going weeks allllll the time.  I just find it weird that some women feel they can't really say no to sex.  In my marriage, I would consider that an unhealthy thing.


Adults shouldn't say "duh". Makes me chuckle.

Also, I second Music...again.

MahriM23

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

NatureLovers said:

YaMrWhite said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

I am also of the mindset that you should avoid saying no to sex-if possible.

/:)

I'm grateful I have an understanding husband who I feel comfortable saying no to sometimes. he didn't marry me to get in my pants.  Ok, maybe partly so.. but, you know.

Agree. Sometimes you just gotta say "Not tonight. I have gas." lol

Seriously. I'm not a sex slave, yo.  This is giving me the willies.

This gave me the creeps. "Not good enough for my DH"? What's he going to do? Hit you? Force himself on you? You do not give up bodily autonomy when you get married, and it is not your job to be his sex slave.

Did anyone read my whole post? I literally was just saying going weeks on end without sex would not be an option for myself or DH (except for OBVIOUS reasons like after having a baby duh). I also suggested to the OP that if her husband is being pushy about it they should see a counselor. for record I am not pressured in my marriage to have sex, I just believe that having an ACTIVE sex life not a DEAD one is important for a happy/healthy relationship. I'm not a sex slave either. geez.

Did you read ours?  Because I certainly don't have a dead sex life. OR an unhappy/unhealthy marriage.. just because I say no sometimes.  And I HAVE gone weeks before.  That has zero result on my marriage.  It's not like I'm going weeks allllll the time.  I just find it weird that some women feel they can't really say no to sex.  In my marriage, I would consider that an unhealthy thing.

I didn't say your sex life was dead nor do I believe my marriage is the standard from which all other marriages should measure the health of their sex lives. everyone has their own comfort level. I just didn't like people getting the idea that I'm being forced in some way (physically or emotionally or whatever), do I say yes when I  really don't feel like sometimes? Sure I do (and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised to find out that enjoy it anyway), but in the end it is still my decision. 

mellie86041

motherboy said:

Yeah and I hope he likes getting milked on once you are able to have sex. That was pretty unavoidable in the beginning.

My poor DH freaked out the first time that happened and didn't even attempt to get any for at least a month! You want your hubby to leave you alone for a bit? That'll take care of it real fast!

LuckyPenny1231

Sunflower9939 said:

Aside from pelvic rest after having a baby, having sex seriously felt like someone was shoving a cactus up my vag over and over after we got the all clear. It honestly didn't feel "normal" again until about 10 months for me. It didn't feel like a cactus still at six months but it still hurt. Might want to let your DH know about this in advance if he's going to be a jerk about it.

this x1000. It took an entire YEAR for sex to stop hurting. Before then it felt like I was being torn open with tiny shards of glass. Good news is it got better, but thank god for an understanding husband who wasn't expecting it every night.

I'm not exaggerating guys. It really was that painful for that long.

MahriM23

ICarriedAWatermelon said:

MahriM23 said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

NatureLovers said:

YaMrWhite said:

MusicFanatic said:

MahriM23 said:

I am also of the mindset that you should avoid saying no to sex-if possible.

/:)

I'm grateful I have an understanding husband who I feel comfortable saying no to sometimes. he didn't marry me to get in my pants.  Ok, maybe partly so.. but, you know.

Agree. Sometimes you just gotta say "Not tonight. I have gas." lol

Seriously. I'm not a sex slave, yo.  This is giving me the willies.

This gave me the creeps. "Not good enough for my DH"? What's he going to do? Hit you? Force himself on you? You do not give up bodily autonomy when you get married, and it is not your job to be his sex slave.

Did anyone read my whole post? I literally was just saying going weeks on end without sex would not be an option for myself or DH (except for OBVIOUS reasons like after having a baby duh). I also suggested to the OP that if her husband is being pushy about it they should see a counselor. for record I am not pressured in my marriage to have sex, I just believe that having an ACTIVE sex life not a DEAD one is important for a happy/healthy relationship. I'm not a sex slave either. geez.

Did you read ours?  Because I certainly don't have a dead sex life. OR an unhappy/unhealthy marriage.. just because I say no sometimes.  And I HAVE gone weeks before.  That has zero result on my marriage.  It's not like I'm going weeks allllll the time.  I just find it weird that some women feel they can't really say no to sex.  In my marriage, I would consider that an unhealthy thing.

I didn't say your sex life was dead nor do I believe my marriage is the standard from which all other marriages should measure the health of their sex lives. everyone has their own comfort level. I just didn't like people getting the idea that I'm being forced in some way (physically or emotionally or whatever), do I say yes when I  really don't feel like sometimes? Sure I do (and sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised to find out that enjoy it anyway), but in the end it is still my decision. 

Well... it sounds like you answered your own question, then.

I didn't have one

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Lanatir

LuckyPenny1231 said:

Aside from pelvic rest after having a baby, having sex seriously felt like someone was shoving a cactus up my vag over and over after we got the all clear. It honestly didn't feel "normal" again until about 10 months for me. It didn't feel like a cactus still at six months but it still hurt. Might want to let your DH know about this in advance if he's going to be a jerk about it.

this x1000. It took an entire YEAR for sex to stop hurting. Before then it felt like I was being torn open with tiny shards of glass. Good news is it got better, but thank god for an understanding husband who wasn't expecting it every night. I'm not exaggerating guys. It really was that painful for that long.

@Luckypenny1231--  I totally believe you.  DD is a little over 2 and I figured I had to be pregnant when we DTD and it didn't still hurt and was semi enjoyable.  It was actually the first thing out of DH's mouth when we were cleaning up. Kind of awkward...  "So I noticed you actually liked it.  I bet you're pregnant."  uuuuhhhh....