In absolute fucking shock right now...

Chelsea33833

SO fell asleep on the couch rocking baby to sleep. As I was putting baby in his bed, SOs phone beeped so I grabbed it to take it downstairs for him. I am not one to check his phone but when I looked at the lock screen it was a picture msg. Curiosity got me and it turns out he has been sending naked pics back and forth with another girl all day today. So I told him to kick rocks. I am not going to keep him from his son because he is a great dad but I can't trust him ever again. We had a great relationship except for the lack of sex that comes with an infant. I feel like I got the wind knocked out of me. I still can't breathe. This was pretty much just a vent because I can't/don't want to tell anyone else. I just cannot believe this has happened. Thanks for reading this far...

precious72381

Wow!!! So sorry this happened!!! I don't even know what else to say. Sending you hugs and hope you have a good IRL support system.

Tcbrannon222

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. Sending you hugs!

Sakura16

Wow I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine! Sending hugs as well!

Chuckaluck315

I am so sorry, I cannot imagine your shock right now. It sounds like you are keeping it together amazingly well. Document everything and send yourself screenshots if you can. If you share banking, lock it down till you figure out what you are going to do. Let your closest friend or family member know, if they will keep their mouth shut, and let them help and support you. Keep the circumstances private until you figure out what you are going to do. You are in my thoughts!

SandFHasse

I am so sorry! So upset for you. Big hugs.

Chelsea33833

Thanks @Chuckaluck315‌ the bank account we share only has his checks in it. I have a separate account. I learned that from my ex husband.

sarahlisa00

I'm so sorry, that makes me sick to my stomach.

kiki1978

I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs headed your way. ((hugs))

nolagal79

So sorry - how completely shitty of him.

km_md

I'm so sorry ((hugs)) how awful of him to do that to you.

NenaMarie84

Wow! That's a terrible situation, sorry you are going through this!

MJamison1020

So sorry. :-/

Tylynngrace

I'm so sorry you're going through this

amt0312

That is absolutely awful. I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Big hugs to you and I hope you get through this ok. 

cja06

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you are going through this. What a douche. 

susieandmarty

Horrible. So sorry you ate going through this

firsttimemom143

Wow. I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this. Big Hugs

Chelsea33833

Thanks everyone. I just can't get over that he doesn't consider it cheating and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. He acts like it's just pictures. It's not just downloaded porn pics, it's someone he knows. I know it really doesn't have anything to do with me but it's hard to take personally. As in, what else could I have done blah, blah, blah. I make more money so I pay most of the bills, take care of our kid and do half of the housework. So there's nothing I see that I could've done. From where I'm standing, he has it made. He is an excellent father and just as hands on as I am with baby so we are both extremely tired and neglecting each other. That's no excuse. I am not very tolerant. His defense was that he screwed up but small mistakes should be "overlooked" since there is a baby in the mix now. Meaning our baby shouldn't have split up parents. Agreed but baby will be much happier without parents that are fighting or unhappy. Ridiculous.

worleygirl

Your most recent post makes it worse in my mind. He sounds so flippant about it. Do you know the recipient?

Chelsea33833

My thoughts exactly @MarBee1214‌

@worleygirl‌ he says she's a friend of his who used to live in his old neighborhood. She's also 12 years older than us which I find a little strange too. Not bragging on myself at all but I would expect him to cheat on me with someone better or prettier than me. There's nothing special about this chick at all. I wouldn't have ever picked her out to be someone that he would've even looked at twice.

valigrl21

I am so very sorry

Sgriff1

I hate to say it, but unfortunately from my own personal experience (past relationship) if they're sending naked pictures to each other, there is probably more to their relationship than that. I don't know why men will NEVER admit they've cheated, even when caught red handed! I am so sorry! Your situation has my own stomach in knots!

Chelsea33833

@MarBee1214‌ He has already done all of that last night and this morning. I agree diamonds would help!

MiaMyPuggle

OMG....I am so so so so sorry about this. Makes me sick for you. Stand your ground.

Chelsea33833

He did admit to it being wrong and knowing it was wrong while doing it. I think it was for attention too simply because he literally doesn't have the time away from me to do anything. He has never stayed late from work and we are that annoyingly always together couple. Still not good.

Sgriff1

@MarBee1214‌ yes it was a generalization. Just what I've seen in my experiences and close friends...and obviously not all men. I was just talking about what she said about him not thinking it was cheating or thinking it was a big deal. To me that's not taking responsibility for his actions.

sehudson821

I'm so sorry!

MamaP19

I wish I had advice for you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I did want to applaud you for not letting this affect the relationship between your LO and YH. Cheating has broken up a lot of relationships that I know and the parents almost always use it as a reason to try to withhold their children from the cheater. 

Chelsea33833

@MamaP19‌ I couldn't ever do that. LO absolutely loves his daddy and he is an amazing father. Made a dumbass choice but I couldn't ask for a more hands on dad for my baby.

Rebis58

Chelsea33833 said:

@MamaP19‌ I couldn't ever do that. LO absolutely loves his daddy and he is an amazing father. Made a dumbass choice but I couldn't ask for a more hands on dad for my baby.

@Chelsea33833 I'm so sorry this has happened. I hope you have support to help you through this, whatever you decide to do.

I just want to commend you on this attitude. I know a lot of people find it really hard to put their own feelings and anger aside for the sake of their LO. You sound like an incredibly strong person and great mother to be able to put your son first even right in the thick of all of this emotion.

Chelsea33833

Still in shock I guess... We had an amazing relationship. I can't just think about myself now that there's a little guy in the picture.

joshsmandy

I'm so sorry! I hope things get better. You don't deserve that!

bensmommy518

@chelsea33833 I am so sorry and I wish I could say or do something to take away the pain this has caused you.

Something similar happened to my best friend while she was pregnant.  She asked him to leave for a while while she thought things through.  They were able to work things out with counseling (they both go individually and they also go as a couple) and now more than a year later they are in a good place.

The only advice I would give is use your support system, but use it wisely.  My friend had confided what she was going through with several friends, and now that she and her husband are back together, she doesnt feel comfortable talking to some of them because they are very vocal in their disagreement about hertaking him back.

Chelsea33833

@bensmommy518‌ that's exactly why I haven't told anyone just yet... Esp my family. They will be all over him and even if we split we will still be connected by LO forever. They don't need the details.

cnctf

Dang, Im so sorry that he behaved like that. I hope you threw his phone against the wall. Heh.

Chelsea33833

No I threw it at him

angiek1

I have no advice b/c it is always easier to preach vs act, but I hope you take a step back and really evaluate what is the best next step. I don't know what that next step is, but I am sorry you are having to even think about what to do. 

nolagal79

Ugh - just reading about his nonchalant attitude towards it makes it even worse IMO. Even if he doesn't consider it cheating he should at least be able to see how disrespectful it is to you and your child for him to be doing that. There wouldn't be a diamond big enough in this world for me to take his ass back.

Eta - my question is this - if he will do this for attention what will he do next? Attention is like a drug for some people and drug addicts have to score bigger and bigger each time.

cnctf

Chelsea33833 said:

No I threw it at him

Then against the wall so it smashed into pieces? JK. All jokes aside, I hope you find what's best for you and your l/o.