Shit People Say

katekat8721

What's some of the best "advice" that your friends, family, loved ones, random strangers have given you about pregnancy and/or child-rearing?

I'll start. My grandma told me that I absolutely, under no circumstances should do "tummy time". She read an article where it showed a baby died from it. What article you ask? No idea. But she read it, it is in written text, therefore it is true and should not be questioned!

Your turn

lellymine

MIL says I should bathe baby at least once a day and make sure to pour water over her head in bigger quantities as she grows. Cause "she'll be terrified of water otherwise"

FAWKES81

My cousin told me early on in my pregnancy that I shouldn't use massage chairs (like what you sit in to get a pedicure).  My mom and I got pedicures Saturday and I totally rocked that massage chair.  I have no idea where she got this from.  I love her like a sister, but she gags at a gnat and swallows a horse. (She let her NEWBORN sleep in her bed with her on her chest and amongst her pillows and blankets and doesn't see why it's a problem)

jwarnerb

Wait, do you want the stuff I think is best in a sarcastic sense or the stuff I think is actually useful?  Because MAN people give you a shit-load of both, don't they!?  

Katieluc106

Idk if this qualifies but it drives me bat shit crazy any time I'm outside with DD and if my mom or Grammy are over they ALWAYS ask if I put sun screen on her. I just answer " no, I want her to have beautiful dark skin"
Like WTF of course I did.

katekat8721

emilyh107 said:

My grandmother told me to carry on your normal routines while baby is napping. It's never a good thing to have a baby who wakes up over every little sound. So, when DD napped (the times I didn't nap with her..), I would vacuum, do dishes, etc. She can sleep through just about any noise. My SIL has always kept her house super quiet when her kids napped and it was miserable for her.

We so plan to be noisy when our kids are napping. The only thing we're going to do is unhook the doorbell, since when it rings our dogs go psychotic. My mom used to do the same thing you did when I napped and I can literally sleep anywhere. My MIL kept the house dark and quiet for DH and he's such a baby butt when it comes to sleep lol. "Babe, babe, the blue light is on from your phone ten feet across the room, can you turn it off?" 8-|

flerlgirl

My mom's friend is a nurse and said that if I have any more kids after this one it will probably kill me. Pray, you guys. Pray hard that my birth control works. 

Mindyvl

My (BSC) MIL yelled at me for walking across a packed parking lot, by myself, during broad daylight. Because, get this, "Someone will snatch me and slice the baby right out of my belly!"

puttyeast

My future MIL told us we NEED to put the crib in the middle of the room. The crib has a high back and the room is fairly small, so I explained that this doesn't make sense for us. She wasn't hearing it.

lellymine

flerlgirl said:

My mom's friend is a nurse and said that if I have any more kids after this one it will probably kill me. Pray, you guys. Pray hard that my birth control works. 

Oh, that's lovely.

BMaidPlanner

Mindyvl said:

My (BSC) MIL yelled at me for walking across a packed parking lot, by myself, during broad daylight. Because, get this, "Someone will snatch me and slice the baby right out of my belly!"

Oh.my.gawd.

ElTrain5

Mindyvl said:

My (BSC) MIL yelled at me for walking across a packed parking lot, by myself, during broad daylight. Because, get this, "Someone will snatch me and slice the baby right out of my belly!"

Woah.......

katekat8721

jwarnerb said:

Wait, do you want the stuff I think is best in a sarcastic sense or the stuff I think is actually useful?  Because MAN people give you a shit-load of both, don't they!?  

Haha, either!

Taymiller

It wasn't really advice but a friend of ours keeps on telling me "it is so worth it". Yea thanks, if you didn't keep telling me this I might just change my mind about having this kid???

rainbowdashh

I was told it was alright to let my newborn scream because it helps make the lungs strong...

austinlyns

A friend of the family told me never to sit the infant carseat on top of the stove because she read about someone who did that and the bottom of it melted and the baby almost burned up. Ummm, I definitely wasn't planning on sitting my baby ON THE STOVE!

kbellizio3

Early on in my pregnancy (like early 2nd tri) I had a cold, and was running a slight fever. I told my friend and she sent me like 4 links to articles about how running a fever will hurt the baby and that if I took cold medicine it would hurt the baby too. I told her I was cleared by my OB to take cold meds and she asked me how credible that was. I'm sorry. When did you get a doctorate to become an obstetrician?

k318

I tried to make noise while baby was napping and do that as it was how I was brought up and I can sleep anywhere. bUT my h and in laws think this is a horrible thing and keep everything so silent when he naps, I now I have the lightest sleeper ever and he will be in for a surprise when new baby arrives and cries at any time regardless of his sleep.

mschware

My grandmother saw that we are getting a rock n play and freaked out and said that babies HAVE to sleep on theirs sides, not their backs! I did research and presented it to her to proved her wrong. And I can't tell you how many times people have told us that we have to watch our dog around the baby. No shit Sherlock... I'm not just going to throw the baby on the floor and walk away hoping the dog won't touch him. Do people think we're stupid?

rainbowdashh

I kept my normal routine and didn't try to keep it silent while DD slept and she's an awful, light sleeper. I think it depends on the baby.

firebelle26

My MIL asked if I was doing anything to "toughen up my nipples" in preparation for breast feeding. Um, HELL NO. I will let my baby do the 'toughening up' for me, thanks.

Oh and my Mom said that I absolutely cannot have a c-section regardless of the situation, because then the baby doesn't get the good bacteria. She said that C/S babies don't do well, she'll send me the article. Ummmmm, I'm pretty sure if my child's or my life depended on it, I would get the C/S if medically necessary. And P.S. Don't send me anything, I won't read that crap. WTF. Absolutely terrified of her coming to "help" the first week. Ughhhhhhhh.

becomingmommyagain

"you're going to be such a good mommy!" - umm...thanks, but this isn't my first rodeo...in case you forgot dear sister...you do have a niece and 2 nephews that are teenagers

-or- my favorite from the other sister...."I can't wait to see you struggle with this LO" - umm...thanks, but again...this isn't my first rodeo.  And honestly, we dont plan to do much of anything different this time around.  The others turned out pretty Ok if I do say so myself.

Susanbeth85

And the killer one I get from both sides (dh's and I's) grandparents, drumroll for this gem please....... I shouldn't expect dh to help me in the middle of the night or on the weekends since he works and I stay at home. I should just handle things and let dh rest when he is off work since he pays the bills. 

I had a male co-worker say something similar.  I said DH will be doing diaper duty since I will be doing feedings and he said that was a bad idea because I would want a well-rested husband. Ummm...so he should be well-rested, but I don't have to be? I don't think so!

tbmadeamistake

I was up on a two foot step ladder the other day at work (two feet off the ground, if that), and was very helpfully told that I shouldn't be up there because what if my giant belly throws off my game and I fall?  Um, well, considering I'm hanging shit on a bulletin board, I'm sure I'll be fine.  If I thought I was putting myself or my child in danger, I wouldn't be up here.  I also shouldn't lift anything over ten pounds (my toddler weighs 30, so yeah). 

efino87

My SIL has told me more than once that my DD was not in fact premature but the doctors simply had my due date wrong the entire time so I have nothing to worry about. Ummm she was five weeks early and I had early ultrasounds ect. I don't think so.

lellymine

hampire said:

I've mentioned these before but they're still ridiculous. I have an older female coworker who has given such gems as:

Lifting my arms over my head will wrap the umbilical cord around baby's neck.

The way to keep a baby in a hot environment from getting diaper rash is to let them go naked in the middle of the day.

Pregnant women shouldn't lift or climb ladders.

I asked my OB once what some of the craziest concerns mothers to be have come to her with and one of them was lifting their arms above their heads because of the cord! I wonder where that one got started.

elle_tee19

Sometime in the 2nd tri I had a woman who was pregnant with her second child tell me I should lay off the sweets because I'll get GD. My response was something like, "Haha. Okay. No."

MIL and SILs insist that DH and I get LO an iPod touch immediately. WTAF. I couldn't make this up. "It just makes things so much easier". "We got Maverick one when he was 2."  No thanks, I'd like to interact with my child...

mschware

@mrsdbc‌ I think you win... Whoever said those things to you must be horrible parents with no common sense. Wtf.

flerlgirl

austinlyns said:

A friend of the family told me never to sit the infant carseat on top of the stove because she read about someone who did that and the bottom of it melted and the baby almost burned up. Ummm, I definitely wasn't planning on sitting my baby ON THE STOVE!

Do people really need to be told this? This is why I can't believe in evolution… surely these people would have been Darwinned out by now. 

flerlgirl

Oh, I just thought of another one! The same nurse friend told me that I was doing bed rest wrong (my doctor said I could drive myself to appointments and she disagreed with that advice), and that I surely wanted to follow the best advice for bed rest because I didn't want another baby in the NICU. Her exact words were "Maybe you don't remember what the NICU was like but it was a very scary time for you and all of us." That is the first time I considered calling someone the C-word. 

flerlgirl

wareagle1220 said:

@flergirl, WTAF? Who says shit like that? 

She told my mom she knew it was harsh but she hoped she had made her point with me. My mom told her to never talk to any of us again, ha. 

Honestly, because we were pretty public about DS' NICU stay, a lot of people feel like they can say whatever they want because they prayed for us or sent a card. I mean, I do very much appreciate those things and I will never forget their kindness. But we get told all the time how hard it was for our friends or random church members because they "went through it with us." 

flerlgirl

Susanbeth85 said:

And the killer one I get from both sides (dh's and I's) grandparents, drumroll for this gem please....... I shouldn't expect dh to help me in the middle of the night or on the weekends since he works and I stay at home. I should just handle things and let dh rest when he is off work since he pays the bills. 

I had a male co-worker say something similar.  I said DH will be doing diaper duty since I will be doing feedings and he said that was a bad idea because I would want a well-rested husband. Ummm...so he should be well-rested, but I don't have to be? I don't think so!

He should be well-rested so he…can… rest… some more? That doesn't even make sense. If H isn't going to help then he needs less rest than I do. It's a vicious cycle. 

katekat8721

flerlgirl said:

wareagle1220 said:

@flergirl, WTAF? Who says shit like that? 

She told my mom she knew it was harsh but she hoped she had made her point with me. My mom told her to never talk to any of us again, ha. 

Honestly, because we were pretty public about DS' NICU stay, a lot of people feel like they can say whatever they want because they prayed for us or sent a card. I mean, I do very much appreciate those things and I will never forget their kindness. But we get told all the time how hard it was for our friends or random church members because they "went through it with us." 

Well I pretty much want to throat chop all these people in your life, sans your mom, because she sounds cool!

flerlgirl

katekat8721 said:

flerlgirl said:

wareagle1220 said:

@flergirl, WTAF? Who says shit like that? 

She told my mom she knew it was harsh but she hoped she had made her point with me. My mom told her to never talk to any of us again, ha. 

Honestly, because we were pretty public about DS' NICU stay, a lot of people feel like they can say whatever they want because they prayed for us or sent a card. I mean, I do very much appreciate those things and I will never forget their kindness. But we get told all the time how hard it was for our friends or random church members because they "went through it with us." 

Well I pretty much want to throat chop all these people in your life, sans your mom, because she sounds cool!

My mom will cut you if you are mean to her kids. Like for real I think she keeps a special razor around for just that purpose. 

nikki0808

Well, since I have been off work since December I don't get the pleasure of much advice (thankfully) since the people I talk to are my siblings (none have kids), parents (all know I'm outspoken normally and mom already felt the wrath of pregnancy), and my dogs and cats (who don't care what I do as long as their food bowls are full and I still pet them)...

However... Hubby is planning on taking 6-8 weeks off once little guy arrives to help me out and spend time with the baby. I think it's wonderful and look forward to him and I learning together. But his coworkers have said things to him like "why? All she did was have a baby" or "give it two days and you'll be begging to come back"

The only advice I get is honestly talking with family about how horrible my MIL is doing with my 4 year old brother in law who pretty much does whatever he wants and doesn't listen at all (read: total lack of parenting). So if we just parent a little, our son will look like a saint compared to him.

kbellizio3

emilyh107 said:

DF has had older relatives tell us just to rub a little whiskey on the gums of a teething baby.

I'll get right on that......

Apparently my dad asked my pediatrician if this was ok to do with me. My mom said she was mortified and the doctor apparently looked like she was deciding whether or not to slap my dad lol.

katekat8721

flerlgirl said:

katekat8721 said:

flerlgirl said:

wareagle1220 said:

@flergirl, WTAF? Who says shit like that? 

She told my mom she knew it was harsh but she hoped she had made her point with me. My mom told her to never talk to any of us again, ha. 

Honestly, because we were pretty public about DS' NICU stay, a lot of people feel like they can say whatever they want because they prayed for us or sent a card. I mean, I do very much appreciate those things and I will never forget their kindness. But we get told all the time how hard it was for our friends or random church members because they "went through it with us." 

Well I pretty much want to throat chop all these people in your life, sans your mom, because she sounds cool!

My mom will cut you if you are mean to her kids. Like for real I think she keeps a special razor around for just that purpose. 

Our mothers are twinsies! We went to a cycling event yesterday and I had asked the event coordinator if I could cross there rather than walking down a block to cross. The guy said no. You'd think this guy slapped me or something, my mom went off on him and every time we walked by she'd just raise both hands and flip him off. She's a crazy mama bear. I should check her purse for razors.

kittenslove

DH has been telling me pretty consistently I need to stop eating sugar. Like, completely. And he is giving me dieting advice on what I need to do now, to "bounce back"

1) FU

2) He gained more weight than I did this pregnancy, and has been consistently higher BMI than I. How about you take some of your own advice?

3) Did I say FU?

Honestly, I just ignore him. I am pretty sure he is parroting back to me what my MIL is saying to him, and I just roll my eyes at the both of them. He is just worries about me feeling up to the struggles we are going to be facing. But seriously, I am healthy, I will continue to be healthy. And if I want frosted flakes, gosh darn it, I am eating frosted flakes! 

kittenslove

Honestly the best advice? Get out of the house alone, let DH figure out things without me interrupting (which knowing me, I will, so need to seperate myself) . Also - my mom told me not to make dinner every night, so DH has to come home from work and make it half the time, just like we will have to do when I go back. I'm totally doing this.

elsa1688

@flerlgirl‌ the only time I called someone the c word was around 20 weeks when this beezy stole my parking spot after we were trying to park for like 20 minutes. Pregnancy hanger is no joke.


Fwiw- I was yelling in my car and no one heard me.

jwarnerb

If one more parent tells me that I better "enjoy x now" while I still can I will freak out.  

1) as PP said- let me find out for myself! and 2) just because you don't ever leave your kids for the weekend to have a nice time with your husband doesn't mean that I'll be the kind of perfect parent that does that.  I might just be the shitty kind of parent that leaves their kids when they can to have a nice time with their husband. 

Lastly, DO NOT tell me that I will never want to leave my kids.  You don't know that!  As stated before, maybe I'll be the shitty kind of parent that does.  SO THERE.  Humpf.

~temper tantrum over~