Expecting my 2nd...Need advice...scheduling dilemma

wildflower75

I can't seem to decide if I should start looking for daycare for my 1 yr old to start in the fall...
My MIL watches her now everyday at our house while we're at work but I'll be home starting mid Oct for Maternity leave and a part of me wants to have DD home with me so that I can have all of that time with her (I really wish I was a SAHM) but another part of me is thinking I will need time for the newborn and recovering from the CS and housework.

I would love to hear suggestions on what you think I should do?
Daycare a few days a week or everyday to get her ready for pre-school? (I also worry about whether or not she is potty trained by then)
Or keep her home with me since I won't get that type of Quality time with her again?
To give you more background I plan on going back to work around April of next year right after DD turns 2 and the newborn will be around 6 mos and I don't want my MIL too overwhelmed with the baby and DD.

LC122

And you don't want your MIL to come help with DD1?

jessalynn521

Honestly if you MIL is watching your older one, I would probably see if she will keep watching LO but just a few days a week rather than everyday. That way her schedule isn't as thrown off and all of these changes don't coincide with the arrival of a new baby. I wouldn't seek out new childcare until you talk to your MIL though. 

I will say if I had the opportunity when my LO2 was born I would have jumped on anything that provided me a few days a week with LO1 being under someone elses care to try and adjust, but LO2 was a much more difficult baby than LO1.

jf198400

My kids are 18 months apart and I kept older DD home on my ML with DS. I had a great time with both kids and wouldn't have wanted dd to be away at DC. But I did not have a csection and DS was an easy baby. I would just try to have your MIL come over to help out a few times a week.

ebp913

My second was an unbelievable handful and my oldest was supposed to continue day care through my maternity leave so I could have 1 on 1 time with new baby.  Well DS got RSV super bad and that all went down the crapper so I had both kids alone everyday.  It sucked.  I would not repeat it. I never go the rest I needed and I was beat.  I would keep your current arrangement and maybe just keep your older one home a day or 2 a week. If your childcare allows, I think it's nice to have time with each child alone.  

Check out this thread. I think it's a good one

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12335035/guilt-over-sending-ds-to-daycare-while-on-maternity-leave#latest

ashiscute

jessalynn521 said:

Honestly if you MIL is watching your older one, I would probably see if she will keep watching LO but just a few days a week rather than everyday. That way her schedule isn't as thrown off and all of these changes don't coincide with the arrival of a new baby. I wouldn't seek out new childcare until you talk to your MIL though. 

I will say if I had the opportunity when my LO2 was born I would have jumped on anything that provided me a few days a week with LO1 being under someone elses care to try and adjust, but LO2 was a much more difficult baby than LO1.

I agree with this.  I wouldn't start her in a new daycare when the baby comes.  Those are two huge adjustments at the same time.  That's a big change for a LO.  I would see if MIL could watch DD 2- 3 times per week and then you keep her the other days.  

Mine are 19.5 mos apart and when DS was born I'd feel so bad for DD because I'd have all of these plans to get her to the park or something and then it would be lunch time before I knew it.  She was fine but it would have been nice to have someone come take her to fun places and giver her special attention.  Plus, you would get more opportunites for naps.  When you have your first you have the option of sleeping when baby sleeps.  When you have two it's much more of a challenge.  

mattanda2011

I am expecting DS in the next few weeks and DD is 16 months old. We are basically in the same boat where my MIL watches DD most days while I am at work. I will be off work until November so again very similar timing. We are already signed up to start DD at a Mother's Day out in August that will be from 9-2 for 3 days a week. This way I have 2 months at home with both kids (when DS is in the newborn phase and hopefully sleeping well) and then after that I know my DD is going to be getting bored so she will be able to go play with kids her age, but I will still get to spend lots of time with her.
I also think this will really help my MIL not be so overwhelmed with 2 kids all the time when I go back to work. The place we picked is 5 minutes from our house so super easy for her to do pick up and drop off since it's after work starts.
Is there something like that an option?